Know Thyself

By Ian Stewart

Addictions and compulsive behaviors seem to be the normal currently. Many new people to 12-Step programs are kept back from completing the 12 Steps of recovery. There doesn't seem to be much information available for completing the actual Steps. Before you can complete the Step, you must have the information to do so. This book will help you gather all the information you will need. Nothing can be written to take the place of meetings and having a sponsor. They are essential parts of any recovery process to gain a healthier life. To understand an addict or one with compulsive behaviors takes someone who has already been there. It takes someone who knows what it is like, one who can understand. Someone who has walked a mile in your shoes. It also takes a careful evaluation of your life. This book will walk you through the gathering of information you need to be able to understand you. After you have gathered the information, you and your sponsor, accountability partner, clergy, or other trustworthy individual can piece together an accurate accounting for the working of the Step work. You will actually write down the Step information so you will be able to review it any time you need it. Many times, this Step work is read aloud to the 12-Step group you attend, or in your accountability group. Other times, you might be asked to speak at a convention or a larger 12-Step meeting. You will already have your talk ready, and you will have the confidence to deliver it. Know Thyself gives you the tools to gather all the information to enhance your recovery process.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 19, 2018
• ISBN: 9781642580419

Ian Stewart

Ian Stewart is Professor Emeritus of Mathematics at the University of Warwick and the author of the bestseller Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities. His recent books include Do Dice Play God?, Significant Figures, Professor Stewart's Incredible Numbers, Seventeen Equations that Changed the World, Professor Stewart's Casebook of Mathematical Mysteries and Calculating the Cosmos. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society.

Book preview

Preface

This book is designed to help you take your journey through the 12 Steps of recovery. It will not directly outline the steps for you or tell you how to work the steps; however, by carefully scrutinizing yourself and honestly answering all the questions in as much depth and detail as you can, you will find it much easier to write out the Step work for a 12-Step program of recovery.

If you are not in a 12-Step program and just wanting to enhance and improve your life, you will find answering the questions for each Step will be a powerful self-evaluation unequalled by any other method for success you have tried.

The recommendation to get the most out of this book is taking each question posed; writing it out in a separate notebook, computer file, or other method of recording; answering each question honestly and completely in as much detail as is safe for you; and storing the complete document in a safe place where no one except you has access to it. (I’ll give more explanation on this later.)

This method has been successfully used by individuals, small accountability groups, and larger groups diligently working on their recovery from addictions and/or compulsive behaviors.

For those not in a 12-Step program but are wishing for a better, more productive way of life or better relationships with others, this book can be used to isolate challenging areas in your life that you can work on to foster better relationships with others, or just to help you fulfill a healthier lifestyle. If low self-esteem is holding you back from a more vibrant life or if you feel lonely all the time, even in groups, then this book is for you to hone in on those problems that hold you back from a healthier lifestyle.

This book will enhance knowing yourself for any purpose. It is written especially for persons engaged in any 12-Step program. It can be used by professionals in psychology and religion, as well as facilitators of small groups. It works well for any group where a personal evaluation is recommended or desired. However, I must reiterate: this tool is only as good as the honesty, desire, and transparency of the person writing out the answers to the questions.

This book can be used individually or in any-size group setting to assist you in creating a document that will enhance your life in the knowledge of you. If you know yourself, you will be able to address deficiencies in your life so you can correct those challenges holding you back from a healthier, more enhanced and productive lifestyle.

Whether you wish to feel better about yourself, have better relationships, get along better with coworkers and supervisors/managers, enhance your married life with your spouse and/or children, or just have a closer relationship and walk with your higher power, which for most people equates to God.

Along the way, you will feel different about yourself and how you relate to others. This is a must-have book to follow all the way through to develop a better you.

This method has proven itself in small groups where each person wants to improve their relationships with each other, spouses, children, other family members as well as associates, coworkers, and persons who meet the public for their livelihood. The better you know yourself, the more valuable you are to everyone.

There are a few rules. The more diligent you are in writing out the answers to all the questions honestly and completely, the better it will help you in your self-enhancement (recovery) process.

Introduction

How Big Is Your Wanna?

After a few sessions with a new person or small group, I always have to ask the question "How big is your wanna?" After asking the question, most of the time, I receive blank stares, questioning looks, and other contortions of the face until I explain just what I mean. So here is what I have to say regarding their wanna.

You are in recovery. You may have started this journey solely because you recognized your life wasn’t what you really had anticipated it would be at this time in your life. You may have been dragged kicking and screaming because your spouse or counselor said you must attend a 12-Step group. Your ultimatum might have been If you don’t get into recovery, your life as you know it will be over. Loss of home, job, wife, children, and friends will all be your next normal reality.

However, you might just be a curiosity seeker: Hey, that book looks interesting. I’ll just take a peek at it. In any of these cases, as well as any other case, you did pick up this book and look at it, indicating you are not totally satisfied with your life as it is right now. You may regard this book as fiction. It is only as much fiction as your life is. This book is a book to let you see reality … your reality!

You obviously want your life better. If you have decided that you would like a better, healthier life, you have just taken the first step to a better healthier life by purchasing this book. That is called realization. The first step to improvement is that very same realization. You may also call it an epiphany.

So you realize your life could be better. What are you going to do about it?

Next step, you must make a decision. If you are reading this book this far, you have made a decision, maybe the first in a long time. That decision is you want to have a better, more productive life. You want better success in your life, better relationships, especially at home with your spouse, children, grandchildren, close friends, and even business associates.

Okay, you have decided the realization is something real, and you have decided to do something about it.

How firm is that decision? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to obtain a healthier lifestyle?

Wel-l-l-l-l, I’m not sure about that. It depends on what all I have to do. Do I have to do much work? Will it take a lot of time? You know, I’m a very busy person, with everything I have to do!

Yes, you are very busy with work, family, friends, after-hour activities, sleep, and a multitude of other things that eat up every minute of your day. I am going to address those items as we progress through the background material you will be collecting to give you more time, peace of mind, and a healthier lifestyle.

If you are willing to do whatever it takes to gain this peace of mind and a healthier lifestyle, you are ready to take the next step.

The next step is action. Just making the decision isn’t the end of the line. You have to take action or nothing gets done. Action is the work part of gaining a healthier and more peaceful life. Without action, your decision is just wishful thinking.

There is some work to get a better grip on your life. The most specific action is going to take writing (or typing) and a bit of research into your past. Who knows you better than you?

There will be a dozen or so questions in each of the Step material; you are going to have to think and write in as much depth as possible for each question. The more you can remember and write down, the faster the end result will come.

You may have to put a question away, or start on another question until you can formulate the honest answer to the previous question. That’s okay, since this will be a work in progress until you finish your actual Step work, and even after you are finished with your actual Step work, you may revisit this Step later for a more accurate evaluation of yourself.

Now I ask, how willing are you to gain a healthier lifestyle and peace of mind (and many other benefits)?

Oh, really? Can I have that decision signed in your blood?

"Is it that serious?"

Pure and simple, yes.

This is the point where many will just close this book and put it back on the shelf, where it won’t help anybody. This is a book of action, but it does work!

So, what does this all have to do with How big is your wanna?"

The real question is, "How much do you really want to have a