Until Death Does Its Part

By Jonthan Downing

Until Death Does Its Part is a term people equate to a ceremony or consider useful only in a matrimonial vow. However, it is pertinent in the lives of Christians every day. The Light affliction that God's chosen people suffer and die to are for a more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. Death has to do its part in us, meaning the dying of one's self to the will of our creator God. When we choose to give God what he is longing for in our lives without compromise, we reap the benefits of a peaceable fruit. Death has a part in living the victorious abundant life. God's son died for us, and we must die to self without reservation. The fullness of time has come for the manifestation of the sons of God. Only those who have died to self will reap the harvest. John 3:3""7 lets us know that not only are Christians born again when we come to salvation, but we also continue dying to self as part of the sanctification process. But the dying to self is not easy and must be embraced daily with tenacity and confidence in knowing that he who brought us to this will also bring us through it. Every step on the ladder takes us up higher and the temptation, sometimes greater, but in the midst of it all, we remember the third day of being elevated. The seed that falls to the ground and die will indeed reproduce a ripe harvest and be raised as a testimony of his glory. Living out our destiny and purpose will promote us to dying a thousand deaths to this life. But we were made for this. We must accept what God is calling us to""Until Death Does Its Part!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 19, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098001407

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Until Death Does Its Part

Jonthan R. Downing

Copyright © 2019 by Jonthan R. Downing, MDIV

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Prince Charming

Courtship, Dating, and Family

Maternity/Paternity

Life Goes On

College Escape

Too Close for Comfort

Full Surrender

In The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

On Our Own

Almost Slipped

Marriage on the Rocks

Destiny

Happily Ever After

Dedication

To my beloved husband; Anthony Wayne Downing Sr. and the offspring of our vows: Anthony Jr., Kevin Lamont, and Maurice Jerome; much love and blessings to you and yours. This nonfiction story is also in dedication to a mother who believed in God and trusted him to bring about preeminence in her children; and to a father the author never really understood and scarcely knew but admires until this day.

Last but not least to all of those who went along on this journey with us and contributed to the overall success of our maturity in God. Through many hard trials and tribulations we have overcome.

Foreword

Except a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (John 12:24 KJV) I remember vividly the day sitting and talking about life and the vicarious things that occur in life and Jonthan (not a pastor at the time) quoting this Scripture to me. For you see, Jonthan was a born-again believer and at that time I was a complete, total, sinner. She was happily married and I was living with a man. We were talking about relationships and how admirable a happy marriage was. So when she said that I didn’t really understand what she was saying but she spoke it with such heart that I wanted to know more about it. I could tell from the way she expressed herself that this was something that she had not only heard and read about, but she was a living epistle of it for everyone to read.

I began to watch her and I began to listen to her and to gravitate to her because I knew there was something about this girl that I had not seen in any of my other friends. What was that thing in her belly that enabled her to speak with such love and gentle authority that it stirred up an unquenchable desire in me? What was it that she could talk about dying with such a joy and enthusiasm and remain loyal to her husband? I wanted to be married and I wanted my marriage to last! But I was somewhat hesitant (after having been officially engaged 3 times) to give it a try. You see even now, according to Wilkinson and Finkbeiner, Family Law Attorneys in San Diego, California DIVORCE STATISTICS: OVER 115 STUDIES, FACTS AND RATES FOR 2018 report, "Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. That equates to 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year. That means: There are 9 divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows (2 minutes). And I did not want to wind up in this kind of statistic.

So if you, like me, have come to the realization, after seeking love and completeness in all the wrong places, have finally come to terms of knowing that everything you’ve tried has come up short and left you empty and wanting and you didn’t know which way to turn, you understand that there has to be more.

In this book ‘Till Death Does Its Part, Jonthan teaches us, through the auspices of the Holy Ghost, that in order to lead the Zoe kind of life, the abundant life that God has ordained for us to live and enjoy while here on this earth, that death has to not only occur but also be embraced. This book is designed that you might have life and life to the full even in your marriage. The depth and the breadth of revelation that Jonthan has experienced and is continuously living carries such a potency that as you embrace the revelation that God is dispensing through this book not only will your life change but everyone you come in contact with, as you apply these teachings in your life and share them with others, you will be transformed. Jonthan, along with her husband Anthony, have counseled numerous couples for many years who can attest to the authenticity of her word. Her passion for the liberation of all God’s people, (spirit, soul, and body): is infectious and the fruit of her labor is documented in heavenly places.

I encourage every married couple, every single individual, those who are currently engaged or the ones who are contemplating marriage and even those who are saying they will never marry to read this book and allow the presence, power, and Person of God to change their lives in a very real and radical way. Your life will never be the same as you experience wholeness for the first time. The revelation in this book is really to die for!

Aren’t you ready to thrive? Come on, let’s lay ourselves on the altar of God and let death do its part so our families can live!

Prophet Joan H. White, M.A. ED; NBCT

Edenton, NC

Introduction

The opportunity of being chosen by God, date and marry an unbeliever, and still fulfill destiny and purpose or the call of God on your life is revealed in this book. This is sometimes the inquiry of many that will be unmasked and discovered in this manuscript. As Holy Spirit does his work throughout our lives and leads us to the dwelling he intends for us, we can be triumphant.

We have all kinds of questions in our minds when it comes to relationships, especially as believers, and some of the greatest questions in the Bible came from God to us. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?" (Genesis 3:9, KJV). God did not ask the question because he is lacking information; nothing is a mystery to Him. He knows us and the success of every relationship and situation from beginning to end. God will sometimes ask thought-provoking questions that we might join him in his depth of thinking.

The perils of many pertaining to unequally yoked relationships hopefully will be unveiled in this book as we explore the truths discovered in the Bible about the relationship of man to woman in disproportionate situations. As we hear the Bible speak loudly, Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever man sows that shall he also reap (Galatians 6:7–9, KJV). From time to time we take this principle for granted and precede our journey of folly. However, the promise of God stands assured, and harvest does come on the season of promise. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting (Galatians 6:8, KJV). Nevertheless, the unbelieving husband can be sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife sanctified by the husband: else were the children unclean; but now are they holy" (1 Corinthians 7:14, KJV). Although we are subject to human error, God’s favor prevails and he is still sovereign. In every situation and relationship we must die a deliberate death to self, believing that God knows what is best for us.

In this volume, hopefully many will come away knowing that the grace of God rests on our lives in immeasurable ways. He is not mad at us but mad about us. No matter how a situation propels, if we allow him to lead us by his Spirit, eventually, our lives take the course that God perpetuates for us, and we can come away with victory in every area we face regardless of the circumstance. When we allow ourselves to die and our Lord to live in us, he will charter our course, and we will safely land ashore. He will lead us to a place that is not only the benign way but the only conduit to him and successful relationships in this life. His hidden treasures in us are discovered and his will is resolved to be fulfilled as his Spirit brings about correction and deliverance.

Prince Charming

It was October 20th 1979; the day longed for and awaited had finally arrived. This day was dreamed of since running into her prince charming several years ago. When they first met, she was fourteen and he was sixteen. But today, here they stood, twenty-two and twenty-four years of age at the altar, ready to be joined in Holy Matrimony. It did not matter that she was walking down the aisle three months pregnant. No one really knew, at least that is what she made herself think while consumed with her matrimonial beauty. Fulfilling not only what she thought was destiny but the promise she’d made to a man long before the experience or covenant awareness of Jesus in her life. Unlike her, he had not even been exposed to the heart of God nor did he know what it really meant having only been an avid church goer with no real commitment.

The fullness of time had come for her and him on this ten-year relationship. Yes, she actually has been consumed with only one man for over a full decade of life. Meeting this man and becoming his wife was what she thought and dreamed about since the genesis of its inception. This was a very exciting time in her life, especially being so in love and longing for a good relationship from a male companion; something she had never experienced before in life with no father around or in her life, her father being away.

She was very much in love with this man, and why not, because he was her first in many areas. He was her first admirer, boyfriend, and the only male that had ever been allowed close in her life in any way. She was no ordinary preacher’s kid, and even that meant many things to her. She felt safe about her life, especially now with a man who cared and loved her. Everything would be just right now because she was getting married, something every girl dreams about. But even after ten years of courtship she had so much to learn about the man who would be her new husband.

Loving this man was all she could think about right now. Getting married would solve all of her problems and the guilt that plagued her existence every day from allowing this man to touch her although he was the first and only. She was ready to be hitched and make this thing legal. After all, (Acts 10:9–16 KJV) states, God has created and cleansed love, we should not misuse or call it common. We should enjoy love because it is a gift and a delight to all of our senses. She wanted to give honor to marriage and to remain faithful to this one man in marriage for the rest of her life because, after all, he was her prince charming. The mistakes they made on the way to the altar were not the main concern right now; she was just excited to be the one chosen to become his wife.

No longer would she worry about whether or not she would disappoint God immorally. Although she was young she knew what it meant to be a preacher’s kid (PK); but also knew that she wanted to be married and spend the rest of her life serving God and being a devoted wife. This was her only thought and probably the thought of many women who long to fulfill the will of God in their lives, but found themselves torn between two lovers; the boyfriend and God. Being a minister’s child, she was very much aware of the way she should live, but had not chosen to do so. She grew up different from other PK’s and did not want to even identify with the stigma of it because her parents were separated.

Eager to be joined in holy matrimony, with sweat just pouring off of her face, she stood outside of the church with cars and people far and wide. Waiting to go inside and get hooked up, as they say, was on her heart and mind in an immeasurable way. It was so exciting on so many levels because, after all, every girl dreams of this day, and she had all of her emergent life. It was hot and steaming outside, over 90 degrees in October, but it did not put a rain on her parade.

All of her friends from their high school days who believed in their love since the day they met were there. Her boyfriend being the quarterback for the football team and she being head cheerleader of her squad made them quite popular. They knew that someday she would end up married to him and then have kids. This was what her peers found to talk about with much hope when things in their own lives were going despondent. She never dreamed and could not let them know that she was already expecting a child. It had been done out of order but she was getting the man she wanted and all was well.

Standing there, believing that she was getting what every woman wanted her age, she felt a sense of pseudo-security and pride for the first time in her life. Believing that, somehow, she’d be fulfilling the dream of every young woman; to be swept off her feet by prince charming. She stood there, ready to walk through the double-wide doors that felt like wings of refuge while a huge smile embraced her face like sunlight on a vast summer’s day.

Her twin sister stood near her looking just as beautiful, only with different attire. They always were close and looked so much alike that you could not tell one from the other unless you had known them all of their lives. Her twin was saddened by a day she knew was inevitable yet delighted to see her sister receive the desires of her heart. All of her twin’s makeup flooded her face as tears ran down it like rain on a window pane. An attractive middle-aged woman named Ms. Betty Jean wiped her twin’s face and consoled her.

Hush now! she scolded. Don’t ruin this day for your sister. Her twin sister admired the man she would marry a lot but was not willing to part with the sister that shared a room and bed with her most of her life. Much like Jacob and Esau in the Bible, they were in the same womb yet without the struggle. She would not even let her twin spoil this day for her. She had shared the secret of the pregnancy with her twin, but she figured no one else in the church knew. Still, the one and only thing on her mind was that she would have the man she wanted; the intimacy would become legal and all of the feelings of guilt erased.

There was no lack of sweat on her face either or on any of the bridesmaids standing around her. She just wanted to hurry and get it all over with so she could be alone with him for a few hours without guilt and shame. Of course, all of her family and friends knew one day they would be married because of the numerous years of their dating, and so the whispers that filled the church corridor were expected and only added to the excitement. It was such a beautiful day, and she felt God had granted it, heat and all.

The church was swarming as all heads turned with attention on her as she walked down the aisle in her floral chiffon-stylish gown. This was the gown that she had worked hard for at the local phone company late nights and had picked out with her mom. At this moment, she felt as though the world had stopped and asked her to get aboard. Getting the man she wanted and doing the right thing was all that seemed to matter, along with putting a smile on God’s face.

There had been a lot of things that had happened in her life that made her unhappy and very few things that made her happy, but nothing could come close to the happiness that she was feeling on this day. But she could feel God pulling on her heart to become a better Christian and felt that she had failed God in every way. So now the day was here where she could expunge the guilt and fall back into God’s graces and embrace what she had learned about God from her mom, and when she was first introduced to salvation in college. This is where she first met her Lord of Glory. She felt like all of her problems would be solved if only she could get married and live happily ever after.

Questions came to her mind about certain things before the wedding such as, is this really the man for me? Did his parents stay together? Will there be enough money? But she pushed all of this in the back of her mind in order to enjoy this moment in time and the one day that every girl salivates about. Nothing would ruin this for her. She had met with many disappointments in her early life with her father not being at home, although he was a man of God, and men coming in and out of her mom’s life. She wanted something more, and now, she would have it. She put all those questions on the back burner and was longing for a life experience with this one man. After the wedding, and when everyone found out her secret, she would not have to deal with the stigma of being young, alone and pregnant. But even this was not going to worry her right now. This day was like stepping into another world and becoming someone else other than who she really was.

Her future husband still did not know exactly how intimate her relationship was with God, and she had enough problems, so she was not letting him in on how she really felt about God in fear that he would think that they would be too different to marry her. She used the scripture to back it up by saying, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:24 KJV). So she was not trying to borrow trouble on this day. It was her big day, and she was going to move forward.

Watching her prince charming as he stood tall, dark, and handsome, waiting for her to approach him, she kept a fixed gaze and smile on her face. She could hardly wait for him to take her hand from the last man her mom dated who had become her stepfather. This gave her a feeling of self-importance that she had never experienced in her life. In the back of her mind, she was wishing that it was her real father who was giving her away today. She did not know if he was even there in the church or if he would show up. As she looked upward and glanced on the right, she saw the groom and all of his men standing tall and erect. The man who was going to be her husband stood out among all the men with him. He wore a wide smile across his freckled face.

All of the men that stood with him were members of his family or at least long-term childhood friends. Not knowing that those who stood with them were supposed to be in favor of the marriage and just by standing vowed they would do everything possible to see to it that the marriage stayed together. She never thought about the symbolism in her wedding. They were too young to even understand what everything meant and what they were about to embark upon. All she wanted was for her day to be blessed; no matter who was positioned with them. But it would matter, and those who stood with them would matter, as she would find out later.

Some of the people who stood up with them would never be realized again because most were very much single and would not be living a settled-down life. She was looking for what she thought should be the desire of every woman, and that was to settle down, love her man, stay married, and raise godly children. No more hanging out with the girls and wishing she was married. Those girls would still be on the prowl and partying back in nightclubs, something she never really wanted. She did it, but she knew that she was different and, somehow, did not really feel comfortable when she did it. She especially did not want that kind of life for her marriage. Yet some of those people stood with them on this day because it was the thing to do for friends. Not only that, it was great for them to be chosen to be in such a popular wedding. This was the wedding that most of her friends in high school had waited on because they had watched them date for several years, and it gave some of them hope about life. Everything comes full circle and you looked forward to having the order of life your parents had if you were that fortunate and she had not been.

As they gathered that day to marry, neither one of them, her or her prince charming, realized their hidden insecurities and the generational curses that awaited them. There were things that they would have to fight that they never dreamed about. But as stated before, at that moment, they did not care. (Proverbs 26:2 KJV) says, As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. There would have to be a cause for her marriage not to blossom, and they did not see one at the time. She did not know enough about God to know that, after getting saved, the enemy of her soul would try to revisit her with what was familiar in her parent’s life.

She felt guiltless from any curse, but what she did not know would not hurt her or so she thought. A curse from previous family life did not enter her mind nor did she fear or even think about any curse in fear of casting a gloomy shadow on their blissful day.

They both had problems in their family, but it would never affect their life or haunt them like a dark shadow over their bright horizon. Not anything from their past would spoil their lives because now it would be just perfect. It was like the old Doris Day television broadcast commercial, Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be will be; the futures not ours to see. Yet their futures were laid out, and they had no idea what it held.

In spite of everything, her husband-to-be wanted to do the right thing by her and wanted to make her happy. She was carrying his first child, and he was very proud, hoping only for a boy. This was one of the things he talked about before they ever conceived. Every man she knew seemed to want a boy the first time around because she gathered that it made them feel like real men. She was praying to give him a son but did not know for sure yet.

When they first met they talked about waiting until marriage before intimacy, and especially before they reproduced. But it did not work out the way they planned, and so they would just have to move forward from here and try to legalize what they had messed up. It was supposed to have been perfect. Throughout their meeting, both decided in the beginning that they wanted a commitment where there would never be fear of deceit, manipulation, or exploitation. They figured that this would be secure as long as they did not step outside of the boundaries they set for each other. They would tell each other I Love You every day and show that love. It was no ordinary relationship, and sex would not be a part of it then. People would look at them and declare, Those two are just meant for each other. Although they did not understand what people meant, they took it all in and, with a smear of pride, smiled, and said thank you.

They never intended for their romance or feelings to grow faster than their commitment that would cause love to last. Because you see, commitment was really what she was longing for deep inside. There was a needy place inside of her that she did not know even existed. So the agreement would be no hurry to develop intimacy in the relationship before marriage. Yet here they stood today at the altar, getting ready to take a lifetime journey together with a child, and there was