The Second Book of Why - You Need to Know

By Thomas Williamson

You are invited—indeed, welcomed—to rummage through the author's memories—those of a one-time contractor for the CIA, to delve into the darkest recesses of his mind, to learn about betrayal, murders, and assassinations, and to learn how it was actually done. All this you will know while learning why there are unbelievably close relationships between sex and betrayal, secrets and spies, vengeance and revenge, and even family and sacrifice—and why secrets and lies affect everyone's closest relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645845256

Book preview

1

Invitation

You are invited—indeed, welcomed—to rummage through my thoughts, my memories, both good and bad, to delve into the darkest and deepest recesses of my mind, even my hidden fears and to this moment, some of my most closely held secrets, to learn about betrayal, murders, and assassinations, to learn how it was actually done. My thoughts—those of a former contractor for the CIA—even those are not off-limits to you.

You are truly invited to share my reflections of my adult life, filled with both tremendous happiness, and overwhelming sorrow to learn my fears and phobias. A long life, a life of interactions with both the famous and the infamous, while learning why. Why there are unbelievably close relationships between sex and betrayal, sacrifice and family, vengeance and revenge, and most importantly, secrets and spies. Why secrets and lies affect all these relationships, as well as nearly everyone’s most basic everyday interactions with family, friends, and even casual acquaintances.

2

Apologies with No Disclaimers

The story is true. Only the names are changed to protect the innocent.

—Dragnet, the TV show

Everything contained herein is based on the truth. But out of necessity, major portions of this book have names, locations, and time lines changed to protect various agencies, friends, organizations, and most importantly, my family. No methods or means, not already in the public domain and already known, are revealed herein. Over the years, all Agency-related materials contained herein have previously been reviewed, more than once, and cleared. I was never an employee of the Central Intelligence Agency. I never received a paycheck from them. I never went to the Farm for training. In fact I was never at CIA headquarters in Langley. However, like many others, I did provide contract work through others to the Agency. I take pride in being able to state, I, at times, was an Agency contractor. Perhaps even with these disclaimers, some will believe the contents of this book should be, again required, to be resubmitted after its final edit to the Agency for review. But the book will not! I have no one—no agents, no spies, no friends—to expose or be outed. I need not worry. In fact, no one need worry. All my Agency friends and contacts have now passed away. They are all, everyone, dead and buried. Any resemblance to living Agency operatives or contractors is purely coincidental.

All is from memory, everything based upon my reflections. What I have learned from memories of my past, my interpretations of history, and my interactions with others. My thoughts, my opinions, my answers—all learned from a life lived, a life of nearly three quarters of a century. And other than modifications to the sequence of events for clarity, this is how I remember things. Others might remember things differently. That is their right. There are no wrong memories.

All that follows are my answers to a few of the questions of my life that begin with why. I have made little effort to correctly attribute the quotes, sayings, or writings of others to the first person to have had or that might have had the initial thought or idea. I make no apologies. You are free to assume that everything written or contained herein has been based upon the truth. All has been learned from a life lived and from others. And if so inclined, you may consider me a plagiarist of life. What follows is, I believe, based on the truth. At times facts having to be told using fiction. Perhaps you will believe this is only fiction. That is your right. You are free to believe as you wish. Or perhaps, as the Agency has in the past, in another ten or twenty years, a listing of some former contractors, including me, will be released. But they will never release our actual exploits, nor should they.

3

Why Me?

There is no better teacher than a life experience; now both you and I will know.

Why would anyone want to listen to what I say or read what I have written? An old man who has lived three quarters of a century and has interacted with both the famous and the infamous. That’s who I am, and that’s why, with an open mind, you should listen to what I have to say. I’m experienced enough to know, to know about both the joys and sorrows of life because I’ve lived them. I know about betrayal. I know about assassination and murder, even suicide.

I have now lived the majority of my life, nearly three quarters of a century. I have lived or worked in seventeen different states. And unknown to nearly everyone, I have lived or worked in seven different countries. I have been fingerprinted more than a dozen times. I have been interviewed three times while connected to a polygraph.

I have never been in the military. I’ve never held a public office of any kind. I’ve never been an entertainer or a professional athlete. I am well past my seventieth year, and over those years, I have overcome most of my fears and phobias. I have no fear of death, and I have every intention of enjoying the remainder of my years.

As a boy, I grew up among heroes and somewhat sheltered from some of the more unpleasant and difficult aspects of life. In fact, I am certain that compared to most others not among the group of which I belonged, I had what many would say was an easy life.

During my later years, I had more than a few jobs, traveled throughout the United States, visited more than a few countries, and met, knew, or associated with many of those long on education and short on common sense. Most stood for little. Some for nothing at all. But thankfully, a few did much more than their share to forward, whether good or bad, their honest beliefs. Not only did I associate with those whom I considered heroes and patriots, but my interactions included those whom most would consider to be less than the best of civilized society.

My only claim to fame is, I have lived a full life and have learned the lessons of that life. Not only have I learned from my many mistakes, I have also learned from my few true successes. Most importantly, I learned from all those whom I had come into contact—the brave, the courageous, the famous, and the infamous.

Because

Because, the one-word answer, the limit of a child’s response to a parent’s

question that began with the word why. A one-word answer,

only because it shows the child lacks the knowledge of a life not yet lived.

4

Time

Memories define who you are.

Dreams pursued determine who you will be.

It was time. Every night for as long as I could remember, they came. As a child, I feared them. As a young adult, I resolved to conquer or at least control them. Now, as an old man I welcomed them. It was amazing, no matter the time zone, no matter where I was in the world, they always came. Always about the same time, the memories, the reflections, the dreams came, always during the darkest hour, between three and four at night.

As a little boy, my dreams came as monsters, ghouls, or creatures that lurked in the dark recesses and hidden corners of my room and, at times, my imagination. As an adult, as a young architect, I started to control my night time worries and concerns. I started to mentally design and construct small rooms, cubicles, storage spaces within my mind. My thoughts, my fears could be put away, contained, locked away, in the imaginary spaces I had constructed in my mind, allowing me a peaceful remainder of my night. Today I embrace my memories and reflections of my past. Now, when the hour of wakefulness comes during the dark of night, I am now able to put away the unwanted worries of the previous day. I’m able to choose which room of pleasant memories or at times terrible thoughts I open. Some rooms I choose to visit, to open only during certain times of the year. I control which reflections, which memories, which dreams to embrace. Now, like others my age, I have the ability to choose which memories to value, which memories are important to me, because as my memories fade and pass away, so do I. But before I say goodbye to this life, you are invited to rummage along with me through the recesses of my mind, through my late night memories, even those that I have never before shared.

During my life, I have been told, You think too much. Perhaps it’s true, but only during my late-night wakeful hours. What follows is a compilation of several of my late-night remembrances and memories.

Memories

Your memories define who you are.

As your memories fade, you cease to exist.

Dreams

Dreams—share them with others. Work to make them come true.

That is all that is required to have a wonderful life.

5

Secrets and Lies

A secret is an unknown truth

hidden beneath a multitude of lies.

I’ve never understood why. Why, many people, who think they know me, really don’t. They have no idea who I am. One may ask, why is that? It’s an easy question to answer. Some portions of my life had been spent learning and practicing how to lie and how to keep secrets. As with many others, during their childhood, I lied to escape or avoid punishment. And as a man, I lied to keep my secrets and the secrets of others hidden.

Perhaps, only two of the few absolutes of life are that everyone has their share of secrets and that everyone has told their share of lies to ensure their secrets stayed hidden. One thing is certain, anyone who says that they have never had a secret or denied ever telling a lie is a liar. No matter how supposedly honorable a person is considered to be, at some time in their life, they have lied to conceal their secrets or the secrets of others. If you don’t believe it, ask someone in the Catholic hierarchy about pedophile priests.

One of the many things I have never understood, and probably never will, is why friends or even recent acquaintances felt compelled or felt it necessary to confide in me some of their deepest-held secrets. For some reason, perhaps for their own emotional or personal reasons, some felt it necessary to tell me their secrets, even when they were told, Please don’t. Secrets they never wanted to be revealed—secrets they never wanted anyone to know. Secrets, some terrible, for some unknown reason, were communicated to me. Unwanted emotional burdens placed on me, to keep confidences that if known could cause immeasurable pain and could possibly destroy the lives of others.

To my amazement, over the years, many, if not most, of the people I knew were, at times, more willing to accept a lie rather than the truth from me. So many ways to lie, so many ways to keep a secret hidden. Lies—necessary for me to remember to keep my secrets buried and more importantly, the secrets of others buried—seemed to always be accepted by others.

It’s easy to lie. Just listen to the politicians of today. They can change the meaning of what is being said by adding a one-word qualifier or modifying just one word of a lie and turn it into the truth. Government officials, members of the legislature, even some of our past presidents were masters of adding a word or two to an outright lie and converting it into a possible truth, or they could just repeat the lie often enough that some would start to believe it was the truth. Those who were willing to listen to a lie and wanted to believe they were being told the truth, would.

Everyone entertained at the theater, the movies, or watching a television program is listening to a series of lies. The purpose of actors and comedians is to entertain you with lies by pretending they are someone they are not. Take a moment. Think. Every book marked fiction contains a series of lies. Lies to entertain. Lies for you to enjoy.

More importantly, lies, some good, some justified, some not, many used to conceal secrets. Secrets that could destroy lives or save them. Secrets that could betray a loved one or save them, even secrets that could save a country or help to destroy it. All to be memorized and continually repeated to keep secrets hidden and buried. Secrets can hurt. Secrets can