My Scars Tell My Story

By Renee Izle Campos

Growing up with a single parent and three siblings and not having much, my mother made sure we had food on the table. At a young age until the age of thirteen, I was molested. When I was fifteen years old, I became a Christian and thought getting married was the way out to being independent. I got married at the age of fifteen to my first husband. A few years after, the abuse began. Throughout my marriage, I suffered a lot of emotional, physical, and financial abuse and was also raped by two different men in my life. When I remarried to my now ex-husband Eddie that is now in prison, the abuse did not stop. I had to hit rock bottom and get my wake-up call. I felt helpless, depressed, and stuck for several years. My journey has been a long one. My faith in God and my children have been my strength. I am now attending college to become a social worker and am also a CEO/cofounder of a foundation to fight against domestic violence for men, women, and children. United we can break the silence, and divided we fall. There is no excuse for abuse!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638850076

Book preview

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My Scars Tell My Story

Renee Izle Campos

ISBN 978-1-63885-008-3 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63885-007-6 (Digital)

Copyright © 2022 Renee Izle Campos

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

My Scars Tell My Story

Why Did He Touch Me?

I Wanted to Fit In

I Thought I Knew What Love Was

My First Job

Why Did I Get Married?

Why Did I Feel Like a Single Parent yet I Was Married?

I Felt I Was Being Raped by My Own Husband

What Was He Thinking Flying to Another Country after I Gave Birth to Our Third 

Child?

The Phone Call That Would Change My Life Forever

Miracles Do Happen

My Scars Will Always Be My Testimony

I Am Finally Home in San Francisco

The Worst Tragedy

Why Do I Have to Suffer So Much?

The Problem Just Doesn’t Stop

Why Did I Say Yes?

I Am the Author of My Story

My Only Son

Why Do I Put Up with Him?

Sometimes We Got to Take Our Own Advice

I Will Never Stop Advocating for Women Especially Those Who Don’t Have a Voice

Am I Married to a Boy or a Man?

I Can’t Live in Regrets

Studies Show

The Gift of Being a Mother

My New Journey Is Just Getting Started

I Am Finally Reaching a Huge Milestone in My Life

I wanted to say thank you to my oldest daughter, Crystal Renee Gomez. I am so grateful for you. You are an angel sent from heaven. When God created you, he knew what I was going to encounter and placed you into my life. You are my firstborn, the pillow of every tear I was going to shed. I ask you to forgive me because I never allowed you to have a normal childhood; you had to grow up so fast. I trusted you with everything and knew that no matter what, you will be right there with me even though you were too young to understand what I was going through. Not only are you my daughter, best friend, my confidant, but you’ve always encouraged me and told me things I didn’t want to hear; but because you didn’t want me to get hurt, you became this very strong-minded, outspoken young woman just like your mother. I am glad something good rubbed off me to you. I love you and am grateful for the path you are now on, in the field of medicine, to give back, and I am so proud of you. I know you will become a great neurosurgeon and the first generation in the family to become a doctor.

I want to thank my only son, Christopher A. Gomez. Thank you, baby, for always being the kindhearted, loving, and caring person that you grew up to be. I know that this journey that you were part of was not an easy one for you especially that you were the only boy and didn’t have a father figure in your life, and although you had three men role models in your life, they were in your life for a short period of time, and some of them let you down. I had to be the father and mother to you. I know I couldn’t be the father you deserved, but I gave you all the love a parent can give to a child. Your journey was a scary one as well when I thought I was going to lose you to cancer, but God knew it was not your time yet. At that moment, I felt the world had come tumbling down on me but knew right after that this was a point in my life that my faith was really going to be tested. Sometimes in life when we hear horrible, sad stories happening to others, we can never imagine that it will happen to us; and then this is the point where we may begin to question God, Why me? Why my child? We want to blame something or someone. We, 99 percent of the time, don’t have the answer as to why. But I can say that everything happens for a reason, and this too shall pass. I thank you, Chris, for just being you, and don’t ever change that. I know that whatever path in life you choose, you will do great and also be happy. Thank you, and I love you.

I want to thank my youngest daughter, my miracle baby, Estefani Maria Gomez. Where do I begin? You are a miracle. You were almost not conceived because of something so cruel and disrespectful done to me while you were in my womb. I know your childhood was a challenging one because your father was gone when you were only two years old. What child wants their father to be out of the picture? Not my daughter—she missed that piece in her life as a child, and she made it be known. When it was Father’s Day, she would always wonder why her dad was not present, why her classmates had their fathers pick them up from school but not hers. Although you saw a lot and endured a lot, it was not your fault. I am grateful for your determination and perseverance because when you want something, you don’t stop until you obtain it. I pray as you get older and you get to a place of what you want to become in life, I know that it will be something you are passionate for. I will be by your side. I love you.

Last but not least, my special friend. Although our journey together started at a later time in my life, you couldn’t have come at the right time in my life for such a time as this. I know that when I first met you, I felt like I knew you forever even though it was the first time we met. You came into my life when I needed someone the most, and I will forever be grateful to you. Sometimes friends come and go, but I know that you are here today and have impacted my life in a special way. I know that there is always a time and a place in everyone’s life, what our journey holds, only time holds our destiny. I know that everything happens for a reason. Thank you, for just being you, always there for me and understanding and never judging me, loving me for me.

Acknowledgments

I want to thank my family, friends, mentors, coworkers who walked with me in this journey. I want to thank the following people:

My one and only Heavenly Father (Without him, none of this would even exist.)

Rosa Hernandez (my mother)

Janet Comparan (my oldest sister)

Javier Campos (my brother—May his soul rest in peace.)

Barbara Rojas (my youngest sister)

Efrain Hernandez (my youngest brother)

Victory Outreach Church San Francisco

Victory Outreach Pacifica

Ministerios Jeshua

Tiffany P. Jones (coworker and friend)

Danielle Rodgers (coworker and friend)

Sarah Hulse, RN (friend)

Judy Eastwood, MSW (therapist)

Detective Kevin M. Godchaux

Marissa Gulberto (Practice supervisor)

Margareth Jose (Nurse Manager)

Nursing Staff at UCSF Psoriasis Center

Ryan Taylor/Cirlos Ventures

Brooks Baskin CEO/Founder

2B living Property Management, Sponsors supporters for Souls without A voice foundation.

Covenant Books my book publisher

Carlos Bravo (Brother-in-Law)

Donna Davis (Sponsor/Friend)

Introduction

This book you are about to read is not just another story of domestic violence or a victim but of a woman who has been through many journeys in her life. I know that abuse not only happens to women but also teens, men, and children. When you read this book, just know not to ever give up no matter how hard the storm hits you in life; just get up and dust off your feet, fix your crown and hold your head up high, and keep on moving. Stay strong, stay focused, and most of all, stay empowered. I dedicate this book to all those women, men, and children that have had any type of abuse, whether alive today or no longer here. Remember, you are not a victim but a victor. For those that are in a relationship or in any kind of abuse, just know one thing—there is a way out. Although it might not seem like there is one, it’s difficult, or you’re just scared, just know you are not alone. There is help. I pray that the moment you open this book, you will not close it until you’re done. That will let me and you know you’re done with this book but also done with your past, and now you can begin to walk with purpose. Stop giving power to your past. It doesn’t control you; you control it. Let’s keep moving, and never turn back to your past or turn back to see how far you have come. God bless, stay safe, and be strong.

My Scars Tell My Story

Children are so innocent—no worries about life, just living life with no fear. The Bible even tells us in Matthew 18:3 that we need to have a childlike faith. Aren’t you supposed to be protected from your family? So that’s what I thought. Well, in my case, it was not like that. My childhood was not your normal one, but of course, being young, you don’t know any better. But before I share that part of my story, let me rewind how it was like living with a single parent and both my grandparents.

It was so confusing as I grew up. I didn’t understand why my father left my mom while she was pregnant with me, and when I was born, she gave me another stranger’s last name that I had never met—not even once. And she doesn’t even have pictures of him; yet he is my stepfather, and I carried his last name and his mother’s first name. I am grateful for him because he didn’t have to give me his last name, but he did even though I wasn’t his child, and he took me as his own and gave me a very unique name—Renee Izle von Ahlefeldt.

I was born in San Diego, California, at the Chula Vista Hospital. Well, what I can say about my mother’s relationship, which only lasted a minute. After three months of being born, we moved to San Diego to stay with my aunt because my mother found herself homeless and didn’t have a safe haven for my sister and myself, where I lived for a little while with my mother and sister Janet. All I can remember is that I was a happy little child until I was about eight years old. Strange things began to happen.

We moved a couple of times