Confessions of a Unificationist

By Jo Ann Crooks

Most of the past publicity about the Unification Church (Unification Movement), and Reverend Moon has been negative. Jo Ann attempts to give an understanding of what this movement is all about, based on her experiences, and as seen through her eyes, and explain what made her and thousands of American young people join this movement. She also tries to give a basic understanding of the Divine Principle (the teachings of Reverend Moon). She says, "I believe if the world knew even the basics of the Principle, we could see the way to peace on earth, as we could overcome the things that divide us now." The chapter on "What We Believe" deals with questions humans have been asking from the beginning of time, including who or what God is, the purpose of life, our spiritual and physical bodies, spiritual growth, life after death, the origin of evil, the truth about the life of Jesus, the purpose behind human history, and the mission Reverend Moon said he was given by Jesus on a North Korean mountainside in 1936 when he was sixteen years old. The purpose of giving this basic understanding is to help make happy individuals and families at a time when so many people feel there is no purpose in life or ability to save this world from destroying itself. Jo Ann also explains the meaning of the "Blessing," which refers to the well-known group wedding ceremonies, a hallmark of the Unification Movement. She was matched by Reverend Moon to a Japanese groom, and they participated in the Blessing ceremony of 2,075 couples in Madison Square Garden, New York, in 1982. ______________________________________________________________________________ Born in Phoenix, Arizona, Jo Ann Crooks grew up in the fifties, sixties, and seventies. Like so many children of that time, she grew up in an alcoholic home as her father (a World War II veteran) tried to deal with the horrors of war by drinking. She also grew up as a Catholic, and her early experiences of faith influenced her decision, as a young adult, to join the Unification Church (Unification Movement) and have helped her to continue in the church for over forty years. She considers herself a "regular" member of the church, not a leader of any kind and a "typical" American. She has two adult children and two cats and currently lives in Tempe, Arizona, a city near Phoenix.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645446712

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Confessions of a Unificationist

Jo Ann Crooks

Copyright © 2020 Jo Ann Crooks

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2020

From the cover: The two Unification Church symbols are the Twelve Gates symbol (left). It represents the twelve gates to the new Jerusalem mentioned in the Book of Revelation in the New Testament. It also represents the 12 personalities, and the four directions. And the arrows represent give and take action (explained in The Divine Principle book). The symbol on the right represents the Family Federation for World Peace and Unification, as the family is the building block of the Kingdom of Heaven.

ISBN 978-1-64544-670-5 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-64544-671-2 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Growing Up

Early Church Life

Campaigns

Matching and Blessing

Later Years

What We Believe

The Second Advent

Terms

Traditions

To God, our Heavenly Parent, True Parents,

my physical parents, and all those whose lives

and efforts have brought us to this time in history.

Acknowledgments

Iwould like to thank Lucia Anderson, who helped edit some of this text, and Richard Roma, from Page Publishing, who did not give up on me. Also, Stacy Tatters and the rest of the Page Publishing staff for all their hard work. I would also like to thank my spiritual mother, Izilda Lima-Withers, for introducing me to this teaching, and putting up with me in the beginning, and all those who taught me the Principle over the years, including Reverend Ken Sudo, and Reverend Kevin McCarthy.

Introduction

Confessions of a Unificationist is the story of my life, focusing on my years as a member of the Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity (Unification Church or Unification Movement for short).

The Unification Church was founded by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon of Korea. Although he is commonly referred to as Reverend he did not come to start a new Christian denomination, or even a new religion, but to unite all of Christianity and, indeed, all religions. Sometimes he is referred to as Father Moon. That is a little more universal. Members call him True Father or just Father.

There are probably few people over thirty who haven’t heard the word Moonies. Likewise, there are not too many people under thirty who have heard that term (more about that later).

There has been so much sensationalism and misunderstanding surrounding our religion and Reverend Moon over the years, mostly spread by the media. Yet, if you ask, almost no one has any idea what we believe.

To understand someone’s life, you have to understand something about what they believe, as our beliefs and values are the basis of our lives. I have to share something of what I believe for you to understand my life. But also, I would not share this teaching if I did not believe it has something that every human being needs to know.

Of course, every religion believes they have the truth. It is true they all have part of the truth, like in the proverbial story of The Blind Men and the Elephant, where several blind men were touching an elephant. The person touching the leg thought the elephant was a tree trunk. The person feeling the trunk thought it was a snake, and so on. But no one saw the whole elephant. Likewise, each religion thinks they have the whole truth, but they are only looking at parts of the whole.

Everyone will be a little disappointed that something they believe to be true will turn out not to be, or that it is not the whole truth. The word revelation has the same root as the word reveal. To reveal something does not mean to create something new, it means to show what was already there. St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:12, For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I have been fully known.¹

The Divine Principle (the Principle for short)² is the most comprehensive explanation of the truth I have found. It contains truths common to all major religions, as well as new revelation. If I did not feel, after over forty years as a member of this group and having studied many other religious beliefs, that there is something important here for people to know, I would not waste my time trying to share it.

One time when I was fundraising, I met a man, a Jehovah’s Witness, I believe. He asked me if people followed the teachings of my church, would there be peace on earth. I answered, unequivocally, Yes. I imagine he used this question to stump people. I guess most people hesitated to say yes. I truly believe if the people of the world knew even the basic points of the Principle, there could be peace on this earth.

I believe I am a pretty typical product of the time I lived in. I grew up in the fifties, sixties, and seventies. I lived through the Viet Nam War, the Free Love movement, the Cold War, drugs, and so on. I believe my life is a pretty good record of the times I lived through.

Calling it Confessions of a Unificationist might lead some people to conclude this book would be critical of the Unification Church, as so much of the media coverage of the Movement has been over the years. But it is just the opposite. It is the confession of my shortcomings in following this teaching.

I wish I could say I am proud of a lot more of the things I have done in my life, but I cannot. Dennis Prager, conservative radio talk show host and educator, calls our generation the stupidest generation. I agree. We thought we knew everything. We tried to destroy this country, but thank God we were not successful. I believe God has continued to watch over this country of the United States, and I believe He³ has watched over me my entire life even though my actions took me far away from Him. I have added, at the end of this book, a glossary of terms. Every group has their own definition of certain words and terms. The Unification Church is no exception.

This book is not an official church publication. The interpretations of the Principle and my conclusions about things are my own, and I take responsibility for any errors. But I feel I have to say something. I feel what we have been given is so precious, but we have not found a way to give it to the majority of people in a way they can recognize its meaning and value.

When I prayed about whether I should write this book, what I received was, It’s better to make mistakes than to say nothing. There is one song, written by a church member called, I’ll Never Leave You Any More.⁴ It says,

And what’ll I do with this precious gift?

Shall I embrace it to myself?

Oh, no I can’t, I would lose it sure;

It must be given if it’s to endure.

The truth does not belong to just the Unification Church or any one religion. It is from God and of God. When Jesus was riding into Jerusalem, people were shouting, Hosanna. The religious leaders criticized the people. Jesus said, I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out (Luke 19:40). The truth must be spoken.

From the time of the Gutenberg Bible, mankind realized, through the printed word, they could multiply one voice by hundreds or thousands. And the written word is the basis of the computer. I can speak to a few people, but my written word can reach millions of people all over the world.

Besides then, this story being a record of the times I lived in and my own life and a confession of my shortcomings, I want to show God’s work and the truth of this teaching.

I am not any better than any other member of this group. My hope is, in sharing my story, to inspire more members to share theirs. People can argue over beliefs, but each person’s life experiences are their own. No two people see the same event in the same way. This, then, is my own record of what I went through, filtered through my experiences and beliefs. I hope you will learn something from my life story.

This book is not a book for children. It seems we don’t protect our children from anything these days. Let them keep their innocence as long as possible.

Some names or last names I did not use, for privacy, or because I could not reach the person. I used some that I believed would be okay to use. I can change any if requested for subsequent printings.

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¹. Bible quotes, unless noted otherwise, are from the Holy Bible, New American Standard (Nashville: Holman Bible Publishers, 1977).

². When printed in Roman type, the Divine Principle (the Principle, for short) refers to the revelation received by Reverend Moon. When printed in italics, with capitals, it refers to Exposition of the Divine Principle, the English translation of the most recent text of the teachings of the Principle (Copyright HSA-UWC, 1996). The principle refers to the universal law that comes from God and is part of all creation.

³. I am using the Old English style of capitalizing the name of God as He and Him, and am using He and Him for God, but keep in mind, the Principle teaches God has both masculine and feminine nature within His being. I have capitalized other words that I have found capitalized in previous church publications, some which have a different meaning to us, or are considered important and are therefore capitalized. The problem is, it is not consistent. For example, I found the word for Reverend Moon’s teachings as The Principle, the Principle, or The Divine Principle. I chose to call it the Principle for this book.

⁴. Reverend Hillie Edwards.

Growing Up

In 1954, when I was born, Phoenix, Arizona, wasn’t much to speak of. I often say Phoenix and I grew up together. When I was small, it was small. When I got big, it was certainly that. When I was four years old, I remember going with my parents when they picked out where to build our house. It was on what was then the outskirts of Phoenix. Now Phoenix extends many miles beyond that.

My parents, Robert and Dorothy (Holland) Crooks, met after WWII. My father had been a marine and fought in the Pacific Theatre. My mother had been in the coast guard. She was part of the first female coast guard class. My parents met working at a resort in New Hampshire. Before the days of air-conditioning, people with money went to places like New Hampshire in the summer to nice resorts. I have a picture of my father, singing at a microphone at the resort. I think he missed his true calling. He idolized people like Frank Sinatra, but that was normal for his generation.

Both of my parents were from Massachusetts. They came out here after they married, driving in a car with some friends. My dad said they had just come along for the ride. The couple wound up going back, but as my father told the tale, he and my mother did not have the money to go back and stayed. My mother was pregnant with her first child, my older brother Tom, and said, looking back, she was crazy to take that cross-country trip in that small car, the four of them squeezed into the front seat.

My parents moving here was partly because my mother’s mother did not like my father and did not want her to marry him. She pretty much cut ties when she did and had to make a new life. I know now this was very difficult for her. Her marrying my father drove a wedge between my grandmother and my mother that was never resolved. Because my parents moved so far away from their family, we grew up without any relatives. This is an important part of the story of my childhood and the childhoods of so many families in the United States at that time.

It is a fairly new thing in history and still not common in many parts of the world for a person to leave their family and their place of birth and go off to another place, marry, and raise a family. I don’t think it’s good for us, on the whole, to grow up without the support of extended family and the community we grew up in. I agree with the African expression, It takes a village to raise a child. It’s certainly easier with the help of one!

My father was an alcoholic. It pains me to say those words. I feel I am somehow dishonoring him. That was not all there was to my father. He had his good side—his charming Irish side. But the effect of growing up in such a home is critical to understanding who I am. It shaped who I became, the way I saw the world, and the choices I made. There is a saying in Twelve Step programs (groups based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous)—Name, not blame. I have to name the things that happened to me. The purpose is understanding, not to hurt or dishonor anyone.

I often say to people if you grew up in an alcoholic home, no explanation is necessary. If you did not, no explanation is possible. How is it possible, for someone who has never grown up in such a circumstance, to understand what it is like to be woken up in the middle of the night by someone who somehow managed to drive home from the bar but had trouble getting the key in the door? How can they know what it is like to be held, like a hostage, in your own home, with the drinker going on and on about incomprehensible things, making the vilest comments about every person—belittling your mother, physically assaulting her, or getting in fistfights with your brothers?

After a night like that, I would have to go to school the next morning with no one acknowledging what just happened to me, and had to just go on like everything was normal.

There is no way for anyone who has not gone through it to understand. And when it goes on for years, it definitely shapes who you are. As Dr. Phillip McGraw (TV show’s Dr. Phil) says to parents, when children have such experiences, It writes on who they are.

Years ago, teachers and other adults did not easily recognize children of alcoholics and other such trauma. They were often very good students, not drawing any attention to themselves. The effects on children of growing up in an alcoholic home are well researched now. It was years later, when I was an adult, that I started going to Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) meetings and read some of the groundbreaking literature, such as Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz, and Repeat After Me by Claudia Black.

I will not go into all the research here, but there are certain personality traits and characteristics of Adult Children (as those who grew up in such a circumstance are called) that we share. We are loyal when it is not merited, but we have trouble trusting. We have trouble making relationships. We have high rates of depression and divorce. We don’t know how to have fun. We often go into helping professions because we are used to trauma, and adrenaline stimulates us to action just as it did when we were children. I remember it was so liberating to sit in a room with doctors, teachers, and professional people from all backgrounds, hear their stories, and realize they had the same problems I had. I realized I wasn’t crazy; that is wasn’t just me, but what happened to me.

But I was unaware of all this years ago. I left home at eighteen. At that time, I thought I was leaving my parents and all their problems behind. In ACA literature, they say an Adult Child can do well when they first start out on their own, making their own way as a young adult. You are deciding who you are. But when it comes to building relationships or marrying or parenting, your parents are your example. We tend to follow the patterns of our parents in marriage and parenting. It takes a lot of conscious effort for someone to become a different parent or spouse. You have to learn, first, what a healthy family is and how it functions. Then you have to make a conscious effort to do those things. It is very hard because under stress, you often act out what you know, and it is often that old stuff. It becomes our sort-of default.

I remember hearing, years ago, a man on the radio who was part of an internet group of children of WWII veterans. He said in this interview that he learned more from his father’s silence than he did from what he said. This was true for me. When my father was drinking, pouring the alcohol in