Filling the Quiver: Is Adoption God's Will for My Family?

By Rodney Peavy

“As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of thy youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Ps. 127:4–5).

Have you ever considered adopting but been fearful because of the many questions flooding your mind? Could I love an adopted child as I would one born to me? What if there are emotional issues? Would my family accept my adopted children? These are all real questions and not easy to ask.

In Filling the Quiver: Is Adoption God’s Will for My Family?, author and adoptive father Rodney Peavy holds nothing back as he answers the questions you are afraid to ask in a way that is genuine, practical, and heartwarming. He shares his family’s personal testimony of the many challenges they faced in adopting their children, as well as the many blessings they have received. From there, Peavy takes on the questions he and his wife have been asked since adoption first became part of their family history. To the Peavys, adoption is more than just a family decision; it is a faith decision. Filling the Quiver approaches the decision to adopt from the perspective that God is—and should be—involved in the process.

This testimony seeks to offer those who have considered adoption a deeper understanding of the impact and spiritual implications of adoption. If you are still wondering about adoption as an option, this book can help you discover this answer for yourself, with God’s guidance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638141297

Book preview

Chapter 1

Arrows in the Hands of a Mighty Man

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of thy youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

—Psalm 127:3–5

I was a ninety-pound weakling. I was far from being an athlete, and I had never been in a fight. Up to this point in my life, I had purposely avoided any kind of extreme physical exertion or conflict. Physical tests of strength and athletic agility, though enjoyable, were out of my clumsy reach. I was simply spending my days, as so many others like me, in a sort of an uncomfortable limbo between childhood and manhood—torn between my desire to remain a carefree youth and my desire to move forward into responsible adulthood. I was no longer a boy, not yet a man.

However, I eventually overcame this sluggish neutrality brought about by teenage angst, and I began my ascent into something more. It would only be eight years and about thirty-five pounds later that this awkward adolescent would become a lifetime member of and leader in the most influential and powerful institution in the world.

The most powerful institution in the world is not found where you might think. It is not found in physical force on fields of glory or in military might. It is not found in the halls of government or in its judicial rulings or legislative accomplishments. Likewise, it is not a question of civic decisiveness or social organization. It most certainly cannot be found in financial prowess and success and all the rewards that follow. Even the most majestic architecture ever designed by man could not adequately house this impressive institution. The most powerful institution in the world is instead something much more attainable and by far more dependable. It is something of which each of us can be a part and of which we can all easily access. It has the power to influence, to lead, and to protect. It builds, nurtures, and strengthens. Through this institution, more leaders are formed, more missionaries sent, more teachers inspired, and more heroes shaped than in any existing academic establishment, church, or social endeavor. The most powerful institution in the world is family.

The family’s strength lies in the fact that it, unlike governments and courts, is not manmade. It was first instituted by the Creator Himself. God built the family. Contrary to what many in our day are saying about the institution of family, the traditional family was God-ordained and cannot be changed or altered to fit any kind of politically correct mode of thinking so prevalent in polite society today. It will always be a husband-father, a wife-mother, and their children that compose the God-preferred family. No other combination or slanting of this equation will ever change what God has willed as the principal family makeup. That is God’s will for family.

Look to scripture and you will see this repeatedly displayed. In your mind’s eye, go all the way back to the very first family found in the garden of Eden. God, in His wisdom and love for mankind, realized that man alone was just that, alone. Something was missing. He found that man needed a helpmate and friend. He needed a wife. And that first couple—your ancestors and mine—with all their faults and struggles, were the very first example of what would come to be the foundation of society. They were the first family.

Sure, it was not a perfect family. What family is? In fact, it was not unlike many families today. In that first family, we see the God-given roles of husband and wife somewhat skewed. We see human fallacy. We see sibling rivalry. We see strife. We see jealousy. We even see murder. Nevertheless, it was family, and God would use this archetype through the ages to spread His message of unity and love, to build His church, and ultimately to build His kingdom. In the institution of family, we would find an end to loneliness. In the institution of family, we would find strength and stability.

This has never been more evident than in our day. We live in a time when the traditional family is being redefined. More and more are looking at marriage and family as something to test-drive and then leave by the roadside when the ride may not be as smooth as anticipated. As a result, divorce rates are through the roof, and many children often find themselves either helplessly torn between two parents or in a home where only one parent is present. I feel it is safe to say that the value system of our day has also created an unprecedented epidemic of depression, stress, and other similar emotional disorders. The toll it is taking on the family is tremendous. Is there a connection? I honestly do not see how you could come to any other conclusion. With the redefinition of family comes the natural consequence of life outside the will of God. Life becomes less than what it is intended to be.

Now this concept of traditional family should not lead you to think that all families must fall into a cookie-cutter type. My family certainly does not. The recipe was different for our home, and the flavors are definitely varied. Nevertheless, those key ingredients which compose the Peavy family are there and must be there if we are to remain in God’s perfect will. Children need a mother and a father, preferably that are married to one another and living in the same house. This truth is easily seen and proven when viewed through the eyes of God-given common sense and without a politically correct bias. This has always been true and will always be true.

Unfortunately, I do know that this is sometimes impossible. I do not wish to seem insensitive to this reality. I certainly do not wish to discourage anyone who has faced divorce or separation of any sort for any reason. I am not trying to pour salt on an already tender wound. As a pastor, I have spent many hours counseling those who have tried to keep a family together but, at no fault of their own, simply could not save it. Spouses can be unfaithful. Children can rebel. People are taken advantage of and abused. Even death can interrupt the preferred composition of a family.

Regardless of how it happens, sometimes a broken family is unavoidable, and single-parent families do exist, sometimes by choice and sometimes not. This certainly does not mean all is lost or that the quality of life has to be diminished. It simply means that it will be more challenging when facing the inevitable intricacies of life, in that apart from the traditional family structure, one’s resources are more limited. I think we can all agree that a single parent has a greater challenge ahead of them in the raising of their children.

Oftentimes, however, the broken home could have been avoided. It could have been avoided by simply understanding going in to the building process that family is both a gift of God and an instrument of God. It needs to be cared for and nurtured as a prized possession. We are to be about the business of building and preserving the God-given family.

If you are reading this book, then you must already know the value of family and that there is more than one way to build a family. I am of course referring to the building of a family through adoption. Falling outside of the cookie-cutter family type does not lessen the strength of the family. Of this I can definitely testify. My family is not what you might call typical. Yet I have grown to need it as a plant needs water and sunlight. It is the turgor pressure that keeps me standing when my sometimes weak and weary frame seeks to bend under the gravity of a rapidly spiraling world.

For example, as a pastor, I have learned to depend upon my wife’s encouragement following a Sunday-morning service. I have also grown to depend upon her critiques following a Sunday-morning service. Easy to swallow or not, I usually grow as a result. Likewise, on those days when I feel I am beating my head against the wall of vocational ministry, I do not come home to the chaos of a family with four children and find further frustration as you might expect. Instead, I find comfort and peace. I also find spiritual strength in times of play with my children, even though my physical body may come away weary. When the successes come, I find joy in sharing those moments with those who mean the most to me. When the hurts inevitably come, I find strength in sharing them with those who mean the most to me. Likewise, their successes are my successes, just as their hurts are my hurts.

This I believe is the intended role of family in the life of the everyday traveler. It is the anchor that keeps us from drifting away in a world of changing currents and breaking waves. It is the light pointing us to the One who put it all together from the very beginning. I can definitely testify that my family steadies me when the waves are crashing. Not only do I love it, but I need it.

King Solomon, perhaps the wisest man who ever lived, understood the strengthening authority of family. In Psalm 127, he shares an insight with us that will be referenced throughout this book. He specifically focuses on the strength of children. He calls them a heritage of the Lord. In other words, children are God’s gift to us. He then goes on to use the illustration of the warrior to classify this gift, an illustration that I have learned to appreciate. We can look at this and come to the conclusion that family, children especially, are God’s gift to us, aiding and enabling us to stand firm against the perils of the uncertain human experience.

I guess as a man I am especially attracted to this analogy of the mighty man warrior. As a young boy, who hasn’t dreamt of becoming a great warrior? What boy hasn’t dreamt of standing firm against insurmountable foes, protecting our beloved against formidable enemies, only to shine forth as the victorious hero? All boys have these types of dreams.

Yet this is not just boyhood fantasies. The spiritual reality in which you and I dwell is that the Christian life is a battle. We are warriors. The Bible is very clear that we exist in a constant spiritual struggle. Our enemies are of an unseen army, a battalion composed of dark and sinister forces. These forces maintain an overall agenda that strategically includes the crippling of the family, thus cutting off the power supply to their threat. Adoption is one way to fight back against this tactic. If you are reading this book, then I assume you are feeling God’s call in your life to consider filling your quiver through adoption. Perhaps God is calling you to be that mighty man warrior with a full quiver of arrows.

My greatest desire and prayer is that one day my family will look back on my life and see in me the mighty man of Solomon’s song. I hope they see one who met the enemy at the gates, unwilling to compromise, unwilling to let the enemy pass. If they do see this, I hope they realize that it could not happen without the arrows I have filling my quiver and the helpmate that aided me in filling it. This is a testimony that I most certainly share with many. Perhaps you, the reader, can attest to the truth of this testimony and to the wisdom of Solomon’s words within your own family story.

Solomon teaches us in this song that there is strength in the family bond, specifically where children are concerned. I think this truth applies to you; however, you might choose to build your family. My family was built through adoption. Others are not. Most are built the old-fashioned way. Others, a combination. But I am assuming that adoption is an option you or someone close to you is taking into consideration or else you probably would not be reading this book. Regardless of how your family is formed, family will provide for you a specific strength that will not be found in any other possession, literal or figurative. It can and will be part of your arsenal.

If you are still uncertain as to the strength of family, look at the example of the most famous family of all. I am