A Civil Unrest

By Valerie Malone

The tale of a woman on a spiritual quest...

Based loosely on some actual events, a great deal of creative license was taken in order to tell real-life stories and tales of political humor along her journey.

Whether inspired by the artistic muses or just the voices in her head, the result is a work of fictional satire with purpose!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9798886545937

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A Civil Unrest

Valerie Malone

Copyright © 2022 Valerie Malone

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2022

ISBN 979-8-88654-586-9 (pbk)

ISBN 979-8-88654-593-7 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

A Civil Unrest

Death Wears Dungarees

Dodging Mass Murderers

The Cult of the Krakenheads

The Bonfire Happening

All's Fair in Love and Politics

A Survival Guide for Liberals Caught out in the Badlands

About the Author

A Civil Unrest

By

Valerie Malone

But for the least of these…

Foster moment… Get over it, Carolyn!

Oh no, he didn't. He did…he called me by my name, and he said it in that annoying two-tone octave drop that foretells of one of his rather notorious mood swings—such a notable quirk that one of our children gave his spells that name many years ago. Foster moment!

Here it comes…the incessant whiny diatribe of inane vitriol and confusing soliloquy devoid of logic that spews forth from the gaping chasm in the face of the human with whom I've chosen to facilitate my cohabitation…

That would be the mental note that just escaped from my brain while negotiating with my husband.

Please forgive the explosive narrative, but perhaps you'll understand once I explain my dilemma.

You see, in simplest terms, I'm a liberal, open-minded, progressive-thinking woman married to a self-identified good old boy, and we live in a solid Red rural area of my state…mostly because he would never consider living anywhere else, and I'd follow him anywhere. The sex is just that good!

Normally these kinds of marital spats would not really have much significance, but these are not normal times in America.

As I look out my window across the bootheel of Missouri, the Midwest prairies are on fire…and it's not just the record-setting 110+ heat index fueled by climate change. And it's not the winds blowing in from off the backside of the record-setting wildfires out west causing it either.

No, there's a distinct difference in the air these days.

I feel for the first time that something is wrong, and not just the regular kind of wrong, but like we are on the precipice of something really extraordinary.

I've heard that same sentiment shared among many since Donald Trump came to the forefront, and we have heard it from both the Left and Right sides of it.

I have felt as though I've been drawn out to do battle with the Devil for the very souls of my friends and family.

So of course I did what any self-respecting old hippie would do…

I planned a march to Washington, DC, to speak out against the evildoers, made it to the end of the country lane where I live, and realized I had forgotten to pack my Dentugrip and Bengay rub.

While making my way back home to fetch