Ditchmen: An Original Screenplay

By Joe Ginter

In this engaging comedic horror story, Jay Griner, a.k.a. Mr. G, must practice his own motto, "Enjoy the struggle," and return to his teaching duties after the passing of his wife, Amy. He stumbles on to his late wife's research and discovers a new species that has evolved from the ditches of rural West Central Ohio. His hometown will never be the same as Ditchmen make their presence known.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 24, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645599548

Book preview

To my Fifth Grade Language Arts students from the St. Marys Memorial Classes of 2024, 2025, and 2026, who were my test audiences, my story advisers, and my beacons of hope!

And to the Class of 2027 for their assistance in promoting this book.

FADE IN:

SERIES OF AERIAL SHOTS of the windmills that dot the rural West Central Ohio area of Van Wert County. It is a fall Saturday, a perfect Indian summer day: sunny, warm, and dry.

OFF SCREEN opening music begins to play Blue Highway by George Thorogood (opening credits are shown at this time).

ZOOM IN slowly on a trio of tough-looking middle-aged motorcyclists cruising down a country road near the windmills. They pass by a golf course and a vintage drive-in movie theater.

Music ends as the trio come to a stop sign.

LONG SHOT of the quiet, empty country road with old wooden electric poles, recently harvested fields nearby, and of course its prominent ditches. Probably only prominent because the rest of the entire landscape is so flat. The ditch seem to call out, I need my tall weeds trimmed. I need the litter in me picked up.

CUT TO

CLOSE UP of a wooly worm slowly moving across the country road.

CUT TO

The lead motorcyclist noticing the wooly worm. He revs up his engine and maneuvers his bike, crushing the worm.

LEAD MOTORCYCLIST

(Laughing)

Got him!

Shortly after the laughter, a dirt clod flies from one of the ditches and hits the lead biker on his back shoulder.

CLOSE UP of the dirt clod landing on the road after hitting the biker.

LEAD MOTORCYCLIST

(Getting off his motorcycle, making his way to the ditch.)

what?

POV SHOT of the scary-looking but quiet ditch with some weeds blowing in the wind.

CUT TO

The lead motorcyclist returning to his fellow bikers, baffled. Suddenly, a dirt clod flies in from the other side and strikes another one of trio. All three bikers now look around profusely as pieces of sod and dirt began pelting them with more and more frequency. Hysterically, they question one another about who’s doing this, accelerating their bikes to escape the barrage of humus from the ditches.

CUT TO

The motorcyclists racing so fast that their tattoos were having trouble staying on as they enter the nearby small West Central Ohio town (population approximate eight thousand) similar to St. Marys. They pass under a banner promoting the local high school’s homecoming week. They arrive at the police station and scamper off their cycles and into the building.

DISSOLVE Series of shots of the windmills once again. This time, it’s now nighttime of the very same day, and their red lights on top are flashing off and on.

CUT TO

A church youth group sitting around a campfire at the home of their youth pastor, Ted Horn. He is in his late twenties–early thirties, very fashionable with his skinny jeans and buttoned up collared shirt. He is also a very successful real estate realtor, and the local town’s mayor. Next to him is his fiancée, Leslie Greer. She is very attractive, also very fashionable, and about the same age. Leslie also happens to be the guidance counselor at the local high school.

TED HORN

(Holding a guitar)

I want to thank you guys for coming to our first official fall event. Being your youth pastor, as well as your mayor, and hopefully, someday, your realtor, my primary goal is to bring you closer to Christ, your community, and someday your new house. (Laughs at his himself.) Just joking. I would like to take a step in accomplishing all of these things by developing an open line of communication with all of you. I believe we can accelerate this by getting comfortable enough to share with each other as a group. So how about we go around the campfire here and each of us share a joy or a concern about the new school year.

It suddenly gets very quiet.

CUT TO an obnoxious kid.

OBNOXIOUS KID

I have a concern. How can you be mayor and not live inside the city limits?

TED

(Shaken a little)

Being successful in real estate, I am fortunate to have more than one residence. One in town and one in our lovely countryside. Now, who has a concern related to your new school year?

Again, it gets very quiet.

LESLIE GREER

(Enthusiastic)

I’ll go first. I have a joy. I have gotten to know so many of you incoming freshmen so quickly, and it is great to see the seniors embrace their leadership roles.

TED

That’s wonderful, Leslie. I’d like to acknowledge my gratitude in having the opportunity to spend time with you despite the many other hats I wear—mayor, realtor. Now let’s just start here and go around the circle, putting everyone on the spot.

CUT TO

CLOSE SHOT of Clay and Debbie talking quietly to each other as people start sharing around the campfire.

CLAY

So, do you have a date to homecoming?

DEBBIE

You’re just asking me now? It’s one week away.

CLAY

Do you have one?

DEBBIE

Yes, I do. It’s a