You Want Me to Believe What?

By David Johnson T.T.L.J.C.

Everyday has its challenges for the police force. However, some situations can actually be entertaining. Read about funny exchanges between the officers and the public. Officer Johnson shares stories that you will enjoy reading, often causing you to laugh out loud.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9781640825802

Book preview

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You Want Me to Believe What?

David Johnson T.T.L.J.C.

Copyright © 2018 David Johnson T.T.L.J.C.

All rights reserved

First Edition

Page Publishing, Inc

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc 2018

ISBN 978-1-64082-579-6 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64214-097-2 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-64082-580-2 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Acknowledgements

First and foremost, I would love to thank my wife, my rock.

I would like to thank all law enforcement, The Big Cop in The Sky and those who have since passed along the way.

Some important people in my life whom I would like to mention:

Daniel, Christian, Kathryn, Charity, Gary J., Annette, Scott, Dana, Karen Gary M., Polly and James.

I would also like to thank:

Stephen Mathews in Marketing, Brian Droste and my Publication Coordinator Doranny Abreu.

My brother Gary A.K.A. Spike and Flash

Sergeant Dude, T66, X1B, T3, X1A, T68, T67, T61, T62, T63, T64, Catman Jim

Special Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa On The Farm and Grandma and Grandpa Pizzo.

Chapter 1

Speeders

A LETTER TO THE READER

As you read, you’ll find a story or two about speeding, or should I say about people telling stories or lies to avoid a ticket. A lot of these folks received a ticket and others got their license suspended. I do not care that they got upset for getting caught breaking the law. What I do care about is drivers begin able to slow down and think of how to stop before they kill themselves in an accident or others around them. The hazardous drivers need to think of the harm they could cause. Case in point, I was stopped in order to give aid to four accident victims.

There I was sitting behind the wheel as I was hit at 75 mph. My gas tank ended up in the back seat of my police car. I was so glad I was not smoking. I am so grateful to Frank and other persons that helped me. All persons went to the hospital including Mr. Sorry, his wife and his two children. Everyone lived and 18 weeks later I was back to work. Here are a few questions for you the reader. How far would you travel in one second? What speed do you believe is safe to drive on the interstate? Use this formula, Speed x 1.466 = Feet traveled per second. How can you stop this speeding bullet before you hit someone? While sitting in traffic, consider the answers to these questions.

Speeding at 91.6

I stopped a lady driving 91.6 in a 55-mph zone. As I approached her car, I looked into the vehicle. I always check where their hands are, and the movement of the driver with the other people in the vehicle. It was clear to see her blouse is wide open, exposing more than I wanted to see. I asked her Why you are driving so fast? As she pushed her shoulders forward, Officer, I had a fight with my boyfriend. A short time later, I walked to her car with her paperwork along with her $209.00 ticket. I advised her she would be getting a letter with the date when her license would be suspended. With that, her blouse closed, and she angrily said I can’t lose my license. I have to go to work! Can’t you change the speed to 91 mph? Ma’am, you will have the same problem. I guess math wasn’t her strong suit. You can die just as fast at 91 mph!

Going with the Flow at 88 MPH

I stopped a car traveling 88 mph in a 55-mph zone. As I approached the vehicle, the first thing out of the driver’s mouth was Why did you stop me, officer? I replied, Well, it wasn’t because I picked you out of the photo lineup, or even that I had nothing else to do. You were speeding at 88 mph in a 55-mph zone. The driver states But, officer, I was just going with the flow of traffic. I responded by saying Sir, at 88 mph, you were the flow.

Speeding at 110 MPH

I was clocking a brand-new Porsche Coupe on the interstate going at 110 mph in a 55-mph zone. To say I was not a happy camper looking at an idiot flying down the interstate was an understatement. I pulled over the twenty-one-year old kid to the shoulder of the highway. Clearly, this young male had a 2–20 attitude. You know, the type that drives for two years and thinks he has twenty years of experience. In reality, he was just being stupid. I gave this young man his ticket, and told him his license would be suspended due to his driving behavior. End of story? Not quite. About two days later, I had received a phone call at Headquarters. It was his Daddy calling me to see what can be done regarding his son’s ticket. The father explained that his son had a reason for driving so fast. The young man was afraid of driving in a big city with high crime. In fact, someone was chasing him so his son was just trying to get away from that bad element. The father then asked if I had seen anyone chasing his son. I replied Yes, I did, sir, it was me! Daddy said Oh— and hung up the phone.

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Trying to Go with the Flow

The interstate speed is 55 mph. I clocked this one driver going at 81.6 mph. I asked the driver when I pulled him over, Why were you driving so fast? This clever person wanted to try a new line to see if it would work and thought I never heard it before. I was with the flow. However, he kept getting the sentence mixed up as much as he tried to change the words up. I said to him That’s okay, I understand you. Here’s your ticket, and the words you were looking for are ‘I was going with the flow.’ The driver said Yeah, that’s right! I started to laugh and walked away.

Possessed at 77.9 MPH

Court proceedings for traffic violations are, for the most part, routine. If it goes to trial, you have a moment or two to prepare your testimony. This particular day’s case is a female speeding at 77.9 mph in a 50-mph zone. It really was not such a big deal. The DA tells me this case is going to trial, and we are saving it until the end of that day. As I am told why the wait, I can’t believe my ears. I started to laugh. Later, I take the