The Journey: One Woman's Chase to Find True Intimacy with Jesus: Based on Althea Smith's life story

By Althea Smith

This book is not necessarily a Christian book; it's a "human Book." We all find ourselves on planet earth. We've been taught that our mother and father bought us into this world, and we must be successful, rich, and happy. We are taught life is short, and we must make the most of it.

We spend most of our life chasing what the world teaches us as success. Unknown to most humans, it did not begin with your mother and father. It begins with an omnipotent, omnipresent, all-powerful, almighty, self-existing God. Before the world was, he is.

God the creator has a relationship with every single human being on this planet. Whether they believe in him or not, or call him by another name, he is still Daddy to all creation. Jesus is Father God, and in him we all live, move, and have our existence. Jesus is the Almighty God, the Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, the Wing Beneath My Wing, the Light of this Word, our Friend, our Father, our Sustainer, and he totally understands all of us.

We are trying to understand him. We all want to know him more, but the only door to God's heart is true humility. Every human being must humble themselves daily and recognize that there is one greater than us, whether you love him or not. He's running the show. Jesus cannot be vetoed!

Every human is unique in their own. This book is my life story. My journey a journey that was not planned by me. Did I have a journey planned? Oh yes. That path was fashion, being rich and successful, having two children, being married to my first love, and having a beautiful life with lots of joy and happiness. I was on that path until the Creator showed up, and I said yes! Yes! I did not know I could say no to the Creator--it's God! How am I gonna say no God? I like my path better--absolutely not. There is only one way, and its God's way. Cry, yell, scream, curse, say the F word--whatever you do, he's not moved by it. But follow him.

After meeting Jesus in 1997 and saying yes, that path began to change, and my life took a drastic turn for the worse and was no longer going in the direction I worked so hard for. It was taking on a life of its own, and it wasn't pretty. If it was pretty, I would have been happy. My life became like a movie, and I was in the front row watching my life spin out of control, and at the same time, I was the main character.

My life was now embarrassing to me. What breaks you and what breaks me is different.

This book is my journey to find true intimacy with Jesus, and if I truly knew the cost and all I was going to endure, well, that is why it's a journey. And thank God I'm still here to tell my story because if it was up to my strength, I would have died in 2004. That was one of my many low and grave states.

There is so much we learn in our journey, and looking back, I wish I did this and that. But the truth is, I did the best I could.

For years I felt like I was naked on a cross with one million fiery hot swords piercing through my body; and everyone I looked to, to take me down from the cross actually add another spear.

Those spears stayed in my soul until I no longer felt them; then they were no longer an issue. The Savior of my soul is my sustaining power. God kept me, God healed me, God taught me, God loves me, God stood by me even when I was failing him and was miserable. He never gave up on me, and I know he will see me to my promised land or, if I die, forever living in eternity with him.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638447429

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The Journey

One Woman's Chase to Find True Intimacy with Jesus: Based on Althea Smith's life story

Althea Smith

Copyright © 2022 by Althea Smith

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Althea thought all she wanted was Jesus

After losing it all to gain Christ, Althea learned through 24 years of suffering the truth about herself, the flesh, and its will.

The Cost to find true oneness with Jesus

A MUST-READ.

This book will change your life. What does God really want from us?

Do we love God more than all the things the world offers? We say yes, but this book will show us the truth. Never say never!

After The Storm

My revelations after 24 years of suffering and trials; some answers to the why

Before Jesus can come in his truest and most authentic form, residing and ruling among humans, we must go through a purification process to welcome him.

Salvation is the beginning, the entrance into Christ. Even though Abraham believed in God, he still had to walk upon the mountain, step by step, to sacrifice his son Isaac. There is an action to our faith. God said to Abraham, don’t touch that child because now I know you fear me.

We must be purified by fire. Most humans saved and unsaved are not purified to their maximum capacity. God cannot truly rule in us the way he really wants to.

Jesus is constantly looking for a surrendered vessel. A vessel that says, I want you and you only. Jesus, take full control of me and make me like you, no matter the cost/death/pain/loneliness/poverty/rejection. Saying NO to all our desires and wants, even our needs at times, Us crying out to God, do what you will, no matter the cost, have your way in me." This is the position of purification. Purification is God surfacing all our issues and weakness, purging it and replacing it with himself; thus creates intimacy, a place where God can rule without our flesh hindering him.

If your life is filled with yes, yes, yes. Make sure it’s Jesus’s yes, not The Devil or Man. The yes of life confuses a lot of people. We think, oh, I got the husband, the job, money, success, fame, the career, we also say to ourselves, I pray to Jesus before my concerts, or before I eat and go to bed, so God is with me… that literally has nothing to do with being saved and blessed.

We also say to ourselves, I’m a nice person, I just gave money to that homeless man, I am blessed… Sorry, that’s wrong; unless you are living a JESUS-centered life, you are not blessed. Unless you’ve surrendered your life to Jesus, unless you repent of your sins baptized in Jesus’ name and received the filling of the Holy Ghost as the Apostle Peter states in Acts. 2 vs.38 and continuing therein. You are not in good standing with God.

If Jesus is not the Lord and Savior of your life. You are not blessed; you are just lucky. The devil says to Jesus, if you bow to me, I will give you the riches of this world.

I Believe ‘blessed’ is a heavenly word: I believe we use the word blessed too often and attached it to worldly gain. I believe you are blessed if it’s coming directly from Jesus, this means you are saved and surrendered, having a relationship with Jesus that is supported through scriptures, and he’s giving you heavenly riches and earthy gains.

Money and Success do not qualify you as blessed and favoured of God.

Caesar was extremely rich, popular, and successful, he respected Jesus, but he still had Him killed. Was he blessed because of what he had, His position? who was following him, his stature and position in society? I think not.

We must surrender all to Jesus.

We might not fully understand the journey, the process we are about to embark on, but our love for God to do his will in our life is far greater than the cost of surrendering.

God’s will need to be more important than anything else in our lives, for example, our ambitions, our dreams, our vision, and what you believe we are destined to do.

God desires truth on the inwards part. Who knows the truth of who we really are and why God placed us on earth? Truth; Gifts do not define your destiny God does. Only God., You might think I’m a Christian, or I’m a good person, I’m talented. Look at my gifts.

You think I was born to do this and to do that, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to achieve my goals.

God says, love me more than all these things.

Do you want to impress God? This is what God is looking for. He wants you to embody the nine fruit of the spirit. This is the BLESSED life.

(These characters are ONLY found in the Holy Spirit).

God does not focus on how long you’ve been a Christian, what trials you’ve been through. God does not make decisions based on how much your wife loves you and how much you love him. In most marriages, it’s convenient and conditional love, not the agape love (look at the divorce rate). God does not care how successful you are, how popular you are on earth. How handsome, pretty, charismatic and humble you seem to be. We think, oh, let me give God this, and I’m good No, you are not. JESUS has his agenda. He does not adjust his purpose and expectations because you are a good person. There is a process to truly have oneness with him (True Blessing). The cross experience is the goal. Jesus says, I am an example that you must follow. You want my power, surrender to the process of the cross, surrender to my will.

Let God tell you if he’s pleased; let God tell you he owns you. You cannot determine because you can quote scriptures better than most. Reading your bible is not enough. The bible is like a photo album. You can see and read about a person and think you really know them, but until you’ve experienced them in real life, you do not know them. Jesus is alive, he’s invisible, but he’s real. Look around at his creations. That’s all him.

You cannot see the wind, but you feel it and experience the effects of it. Just because you can’t see it does not make it irrelevant or not real.

One of the most powerful sources on earth is FAITH.

This is what the devil is after on earth, our faith. It takes faith to believe in God and the Bible. Faith is invisible, but it’s real, and it takes faith to also please God. If you believe God, you obey the Bible, not rip out pages according to what you believe or what is popular in the culture. I don’t care what any man says. Bible is right, and man/culture is wrong.

The qualification of heaven is drastically opposite to what is required on earth. Men on earth might love you and think you are the greatest human being who existed because of your gifts, beauty, money etc. But to get into heaven, one requires faith, salvation and a surrendered life and heart. God is not moved by works; he’s moved by your heart and total surrender. These are the terms that move heaven. Jesus embodied the cross—the ultimate surrender.

Is this easy? No, you will fail, but he will help you up if you want to be helped. God loves this whole world and all of us in it. He loves us, but he’s not going to change his standards. He’s also not going to rewrite the bible.

We obey the judge in the courtroom more than we obey the judge in heaven. God is the true judge. What he says in his word is sealed forever.

God requires a surrendered heart and life. Until then, heaven is not moved (You are saved if you obey the bible and live a faith-filled life. Not a perfect life but a Christian life. Ex. We say, I love Jesus Jesus is blessing me, but your whole life is corrupting the culture, leading people away from Jesus. You are not pointing anyone to Jesus. If it’s about you and your gifts, then say that but don’t say Jesus is blessing you. Your talent, humans, or maybe the devil are blessing you.

Read the bible, study Jesus’s life, did he tell the prostitute to continue sleeping with whomever you want… No, he told her to don’t sin anymore; he did not condemn her because he’s love. She was not a follower of Christ. Wrong is wrong, and right is right. We can’t butter everything with Jesus, and we can’t wear Jesus as if he’s a handbag or a pair of cool sneakers. Jesus is God. He means what he says. If the Bible speaks about hell, guess what? Hell is real.

There is a lot to be done on earth, and the devil has more people on his team than Jesus. Our job is to win them over. We need to be like the Apostles, not being afraid of the world, social media or the culture.

We truly cannot affect change if we are weak internally afraid of man.

In this crazy world, being a regular Christian is not enough. We go to church; we don’t drink, smoke, swear; we regularly minister to other Christians inside our church building or family. We are married with a lovely family, and we have a decent life. NO POWER. We stay away from sinners; we avoid social media; we avoid anything that reflects a non-Christian life. Weak Christians are supposed to be the strongest people on this planet, so why are we running, hiding, staying amongst our "saved friends and eating our stomachs full every Sunday. This is not a victorious life. This does not reflect God. You are weak. Jesus went to the temple maybe once a week, and he spent most of his time out in the world with sinners, the sick, the broke, the irrelevant. When the devil came to test him, the devil found nothing of himself in Jesus, so the devil had to keep it moving.

The reason Christians are hiding and are cowards is that they are not purified. They are clean on the surface, but inside they are corrupt, soft, mussy, weak. (Basking under what God says about them in the Bible) This is not enough.

God desires truth, truth on the inward part. Purification by fire. A lot of Christians stay away and avoid the world because they are afraid of temptation and failure. (We all need to read the book of Acts again). Where is our power? Power to rebuke this world, also known as the Devil’s Palace. (This includes all the fleshly things on social media, in music, fashion, reality TV, famous super stars etc.) Who is leading us, or whom are we following? Jesus was not a coward. Sorry. Purification will make you bold like Christ; purification will make you fear God above man.

We have a lot of growth to do in our character. You are telling me you are a Preacher/ Christian, a good person, but you do not return a regular Joe’s phone call or even respond to someone you consider to be a nobody. But when someone you consider of importance calls, you jump, respond, laugh, and open up. Where are the real Jesus people? Where are the Christians from the Bible? Where are the true people of God?

We need to surrender to the purification process of God. Too much flesh, not enough love and wholeness. Is it scary, absolutely? But we must trust God, and he will take us through, it won’t be comfortable, but neither was Jesus on that cross? The psalmist David says as the deer panteth after the water brook so does his soul panteth after God (several lines down I think number 3 of Psalms 42…his tears was his meat day and night as they say where thy God is. God is a consuming fire. We must be processed. The issues in us must be dealt with… Before Jesus went to the cross, he was in a secret garden crying. His sweat was like blood. It’s not easy, but God requires it. What Jesus did on the cross open heaven to us but to walk in power and be effective on earth, we must deal with our individual weaknesses because they are hindrances to God’s purpose on earth.

God wants to refine us as Gold

The refining process of Gold:

The two gold refining methods most employed to derive pure gold are the Miller process and the Wohlwill process. The Miller process uses gaseous chlorine to extract impurities when gold is at melting point; impurities separate into a layer on the surface of the molten purified gold.

Why does gold need to be refined?

Gold, the most loved metal, does not exist in its purest form naturally. The metal is extracted from its ores, which are mined from the earth. The gold obtained after the mining process isn’t pure. It is mixed with many impurities that need to be removed, which is done through a gold refinement process.

How is gold refined?

Various techniques and methodologies have been used for the refinement of gold. Let’s have a look at some:

Using Acid

This is the most common method to purify gold. In this method, strong acids are used as a means of dissolving impurities. Hydrochloric acid and nitric acid are the acids used in this process. When gold is added to the solution containing the acids, impurities separate from the gold. After removing the other substances, the precipitate that remains is 99.999% gold.

Using Fire

Another process that is used to refine gold involves the application of heat. This is the oldest method of obtaining pure gold. Gold scraps are placed in a crucible (a container that can withstand very high temperatures). This crucible is then placed in a furnace which is heated up to almost 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The gold melts at such a high temperature. It is then transferred to another container, leaving the impurities and other substances floating on the surface.

Using Electricity

Purifying gold using electricity is commonly known as the ‘Wohlwill Process.’ The method got its name from Emil Wohlwill, who invented it in 1874. This requires three main components: Anode (made with Gold that needs refining), Cathode (made with 24-karat gold), and an Electrolyte solution. Once the anode and cathode are suspended in the electrolyte solution, an electric current is passed through it. This causes all gold to travel from the anode to the cathode. All the impurities get dissolved in the solution. At the end of this process, what is left is a highly pure gold cathode. The gold is then removed, melted, and then arranged in a suitable form.

(God determines the process that’s best suitable to purify you. He made you. Below is my process. It’s not pretty, but it was necessary. Thank Jesus for loving me and not leaving me the way I was. Remember it’s a process if God breaks you; give him time to put you back together again.)

Recovering from the storms

It is July 18th, 2021, at 5:02 AM. I woke up, poured wine in a cup, and drank it, hoping to fall back to sleep. Since all my trials, I have had a hard time sleeping, waking up many times during the night. I went outside in front of my rental home, lit a Virginia super slim cigarette, and drank my wine. I do this regularly for the last several years, hoping to either fall asleep or get through the day. I realize I live in fear of God’s punishment of death. Yes, death, because smoking and drinking wine to me can be unhealthy, and at the current age of fifty, I do not need to pollute my body. I also want to go back into ministry, so this habit is not good. I need to be as healthy as possible, I find myself soothing the bitter, resentful, jealousy that sporadically consumes me, asking God why? What did I do to deserve this life? Repenting daily because I know the resentful spirit in my heart is wrong. I know it was a horrible process I had to go through to be whole. Right now, I’m starting to see what God was doing but I’m still a little tender and broken from the process. I know my change is here but dealing with the residue of the fire.

No matter how much I try to forgive the sins of man in my life and the silent God I thought I gave my life to in 1997, I am hurt, sad, lonely, confused, and still shocked about the path He gave me. My name is Althea Hope Smith, and I do believe hope and love were the essence of who I thought I was. I am also a dreamer; my dreams do not come from anything outside of me but the true inspiration of my heart to live my best life. Yet, my whole existence is lost in a 24-year path that has traumatized my soul and left me secretly grudgeful, resentful, angry, and in shock of my sad life.

It’s easy to say I love God and I am a good person, but when life takes and shows its horrible face for over 24 years of your 50-year life, it makes you question why? What did I do? Why is God doing this to me? In 1997, I had a visitation from God. I was minding my own business going to my fancy fashion job in New York City. The presence of God came over me, and it was bliss, perfection, heaven. I did not know it was Jesus at that time. It took 3 more visitations from Jesus to show me who and what the encounter was about. It was Jesus, God, Jehovah, whatever you want to call the Creator. This encounter changed my life, my path, my focus my passion and desires. I gave it all up to follow Jesus. Truthfully, I wanted to be a Jesus Girl. Immediately after these visitations, my life changed. It was like a sudden storm. Eventually, I was stripped of my dreams, my path in fashion, my hopes to be rich, successful, married, and living a life of total happiness which most humans dream of.

For me, this was like death…everything I am, everything I know myself to be stripped away 24 years later. To most humans, it’s life. To a dreamer that had big plans; to be married to the love of her life, have a huge fashion career, be wealthy, and live in Paris or Milan. Everything I am now the exact opposite. All around me, I see people living their best lives. I see people, saved and unsaved, getting married, and divorced, and then married and divorced once again. I sit in disbelief, wondering how they get so many chances. I was married for one year and have been single since. I see famous stars getting everything the best life can offer; I even see Pastors married with children, building, and prospering in the areas they desired.

Watching the world go by and seeing so many people getting what their hearts desired, I wonder why no matter what I do, I cannot find my way anymore. I cannot recover from my years of pain, trials, confusion, and human hurt. I am hurt. I really am. Am I the issue now, maybe? People hurt people every day and people willingly and unwillingly hurt people, but I am stuck in this grudge where I cannot understand why people steal from me, use me, take from me. I am unhappy, financially poor, and lonely. When I met God and gave my life over to him, I never imagined it would turn out so sad and lonely. I thought after the suffering, I would be naturally and spiritually blessed and happy because this is what is preached. Every pastor I know, famous or not, has the testimony of the broken years and then the blessed years. Where is mine? I suffered for a husband, love, the ministry, peace, wealth, and this look what God did life… A good happy life. But I am forcing happiness. I seem happy at times, but it’s all a lie; I’m just surviving, waiting on this BIG blessing. I try to be a good Christian, but church people scare me, especially the black churches;