Success or Failure. You choose!: 3 Steps to go from Failure to Success

By Rafael Bitan

The difference between those who succeed and those who don't is their ability to fail and nevertheless rise up again, transforming their failure into a step to success. Discover the 3 steps successful people take every time they fail, to convert it to an ingredient for success. When applied consistently, these steps can literally change your trajectory from one of failure to that of success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rafael Bitan
• Release date: Feb 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215290668

Book preview

SUCCESS OR FAILURE

YOU CHOOSE!

3 Steps to go from Failure to Success

By Rafael Bitan

Published by:

Rafael Bitan at Smashwords

© 2023 by Rafael Bitan

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All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Table of Contents

Introduction

You are not alone

Chapter I Facing your Failure

Everyone fails

Why we feel the way we do

Understanding our feelings about failure

Why must I face it?

Victim Mindset

Summary

Chapter 2 Embracing Failure

Seeing it for what it is

You are not a failure

What is failure?

The true meaning of ‘failure

Finding success within failure

Understanding and befriending pain

Chapter 3 Growing from Failure

The power of leverage

The Power of Vision

The Power of Self Belief

The art of reflection

Analysing The Decisions

Identifying the ‘failure type’

Taking Stock of the Present

Developing Resilience

The Truth about ‘Stress’

Changing your Stress Response

Creating habits for success

Forgive and let go

Positive stacking

The power of visualisation

Conclusion

Introduction

Failure is one of those lonely places on the planet where only you reside. At least that is what your mind is telling you.

I know this because on my journey to become a Trader, I experienced this many a time and each and every time, my mind told me the same thing - that it was only I who failed whilst everyone else I know was enjoying great success.

You see several years back I was introduced to the world of trading. For those of you who don’t know trading is potentially a very lucrative career but at the same time it is no picnic. It is a bloody battle field where victors are rewarded handsomely but no mercy is shown to those who dare get on the wrong side of the market.

Although in this world of trading failure is part and parcel of the landscape my experience was anything but typical. As much as I tried to get it right, I kept tripping and falling. It was almost as if the harder I tried to chase success the more it eluded me and it took quite some time until eventually I was able to level the curve and taste success but not before I had chalked up some significant, let’s call them, ‘ego busting’ failures along the way.

This journey was extremely humbling to say the least. For quite some time it seemed that I would never get to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At some point I realised that if I didn’t make a drastic shift in my mindset I would eventually drown in the ‘quicksand’ of failure. And that is when a new journey began. A journey where failure was no longer an enemy to be fought but rather a friend who if related to in the correct way could actually guide me to success.

On this new journey I learnt to face failure rather than run from it. I learnt to feel its embrace rather than shrivel from its touch. Ironically the more I learned to do this, the more my fortunes began to turn and soon failure became something of the past.

I’m sharing this with you because I want you to know that you too do not have to remain on the failure treadmill. I firmly believe that anyone who applies the lessons I learnt along my journey can also make that shift from failure to success. Yes it will take work, it will involve commitment and consistency. It is not a magic pill but if you stick with it you will see that you too will be able to rise up and face a bright future ahead of you.

In this book I will be sharing with you the lessons I learnt along this painful journey which helped me transform my failures into steps to success so that you will have the tools and strategies to do this without having to experience all the pain along the way.

You are not alone

I remember that when I was experiencing failure the pain was so overwhelming and intense that all I wanted to do was to retreat into myself and lie low till the pain eventually subsided. Meantime, I just wanted to forget that what happened had happened. Taking action was certainly not on my to do list. Unfortunately, what I didn’t realise at the time is that this very mindset of retreating within myself was actually what was preventing me from being able to break out of the failure cycle.

Seeking help and guidance is never easy but when you are hurting as a result of failure it becomes even more difficult. As much as we know intellectually that we can’t walk this journey alone, the feeling that we just want to be left alone is extremely overpowering. It takes enormous courage and strength to break out of this feeling of wanting to be left alone and take steps to try to change trajectory. Right now you may not feel like you do not have the emotional and mental strength to do this but this is where I encourage to take one step at a time. Transitioning from failure to success is not a rocket take off. There are no instant results. Rather it is a journey of many micro steps forward which cumulatively will take you to a place of continued growth and success.

If you are anything like I was during my encounters with failure I am sure that you are feeling like a real loser. You are probably walking around dejected with the weight of failure heavy on your shoulders as you mechanically go about your day to day. Even interactions with family and friends are now somewhat strained. The shame of what has happened is a constant invisible presence which casts a dark shadow over everything.

I know that when I was experiencing failure, the thought that I can never get it right would bombard me non-stop day and night. If that wasn’t enough I would also constantly berate myself that somehow everyone else seemed to be managing to be doing okay. The noise in my head was deafening - Why was I different to them? Why did only I have to fail like this when all those around me were doing perfectly fine?

I painted a picture in my mind of absolute perfection by others whilst simultaneously isolating myself as the only one to experience what I was experiencing.

The funny thing is that in our heads we all know that this couldn’t be further from the truth. We know that we are victims of our own imagination when we think like this. The problem is that as we are going through it, the line between fact and fiction becomes very blurred. The pain of what we are experiencing prevents us from seeing things for what they really are. Instead it magnifies everything to unreal levels which serves to only intensify the pain of what we are growing through.

Unfortunately, at the time it didn’t occur to me to question the narrative I was telling myself about everyone else’s supposed successes vs my failure. It is only when I finally started reaching out to others did I begin to hear that what I was telling myself was a total myth.

And that is when I discovered the power of connecting to others outside of myself who would have the benefit of perspective to be able to keep reminding me what deep down I already know and that is that ‘I am not alone’. I am by far not the only one who fails. In fact it is probably true to say that everybody fails at some point in their life because the very nature of human growth requires that before we climb to the next level we experience some kind of dip. In fact it is the very lessons gleaned from the fall that usually serves as the stepping stone to the next step in the ladder of greatness.

Imagine for a moment a ladder – as you take the next step up, the first thing you do is press down on the previous step and with that you gain the inertia to climb to the next rung. Your failure is no more than that downward pressure on the rung. If it is utilised correctly it will create the inertia to propel you to the next level. But so long as you don’t see it that way then the downward pressure created by this failure will more likely serve as a catalyst for further downward momentum.

My first aim with this book is to serve as your objective outsider to constantly remind you that ‘You are not alone!!’ I repeat ‘You are not alone!!’ Everybody fails. If you never fail then either you wouldn’t be considered human or you have set your sights so low that you have succeeded in not only making failure impossible but also growth.

So in summary the first point I want you to internalise is that the walls you have erected