Grief & Restoration: A Guide for the Christian Griever After a Significant Loss

By Dr. Tamar Sevajian LMFT

Grief is a natural human reaction to emotional pain caused by the loss of someone or something significant to us. Studies have consistently revealed that neglecting our pain of the loss can negatively impact our present relationships and functioning in life. Losing someone creates a void in our hearts.

God can fill that void. However, he expects us to also work through it. Just as we pray to God for healing from an illness, we also go to the doctor. Similarly, there are steps we can take to help us overcome our emotional pain.

In Grief and Restoration, author Dr. Tamar Sevajian offers this workbook, an eight-week program combining Christian faith with evidence-based interventions empirically shown to be effective for processing grief. She presents a step-by-step plan to help the griever achieve healing and wholeness after the loss of a loved one. Although joining a grief support group is encouraged, the workbook can also be used on your own, or with a trusted friend/family member. It includes an application portion, as well as an action plan for each week.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9781664287778

Dr. Tamar Sevajian LMFT

Dr. Tamar Sevajian is a licensed marriage and family therapist and runs a private practice, The Huis Center, in California. She is a certified grief counselor, as well as works with couples in relationship issues. As a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, CA, she received specialized training in Restoration Therapy, which she uses throughout her treatment plans and counseling. More recently, she acquired a doctorate degree in marriage and family therapy from Northcentral University. Her research topic included multigenerational trauma and complicated grief. You may visit Dr. Sevajian at www.HuisCenter.com.

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Copyright © 2023 Dr. Tamar Sevajian, LMFT.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-8775-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-8776-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-8777-8 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/09/2023

Acknowledgements

I want to acknowledge the individuals who contributed to this project.

First and foremost, God, our father, for providing me with the opportunity, health, and resources; for answering my prayers through the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Christ Jesus.

Dr. Terry Hargrave, for introducing me to Restoration Therapy, a theoretical model that best fit my faith principles and the faith of my clients who are impacted by it every day toward their path to healing and recovery.

Dr. Mark White, director of MFT Doctoral Programs at NCU, for his continual support, guidance, and encouragement during the long road of my doctoral studies. Dr. Darren Adamson, chair of Department of Marriage and Family Sciences at NCU, for his wisdom, care, and guidance during a critical time. Tsega Worku, director of Lake Avenue Church Counseling Ministries for walking the journey with me during my internship as a friend and mentor.

Luther Sevajian, my dear husband, for his support, gentle encouragement, and commitment to my MFT journey despite my challenges. I praise God for bringing you into my life.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Grief and Your Present Pain

Chapter 2 The Stages of Grief

Chapter 3 The Destructive Power of Neglected Grief

Chapter 4 Emerging Feelings, Depression, and the Pain Cycle

Chapter 5 Forgiveness

Chapter 6 The Road to Recovery and the Peace Cycle

Chapter 7 Obtaining Closure

Chapter 8 Finding Meaning

References

Introduction

I have struggled in my choice of a writing style that correctly depicts my heart regarding the topic of grief. This workbook is a combination of an authentic memoir and a therapeutic guide. At the same time, it is an attempt to integrate faith and science to help Christians process their grief with understanding, to move beyond their pain and into a meaningful life.

The urge for writing this workbook originated from my desire to reach out to those who are walking through where I have been. I have experienced several losses and grieved various emotional pains myself. I did not know how to process them at the time; hence, I have suffered the consequences. I have changed some aspects of the details to protect the identities of the people in my circle. Interventions such as forgiveness, and peace cycle were crucial for my healing. Although after many years, I remember details, I choose to celebrate and rejoice in the good memories, as well as the strengths and blessings that resulted from each loss.

Furthermore, the value of this guide as a healing aid is realized when the griever believes in the process and applies it to her or his circumstances. We are never prepared for death. Even as Christians, we may cognitively understand it due to our belief in heaven and afterlife, however, our human emotions and reactions go through the same initial experiences as a non-believer. We still experience shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and so on, even though the process may be different. However, while learning about our mind and emotions scientifically (what happens to