The Eternal Hope Project: Overcoming Domestic Violence

By Sappho Jones

An abusive mother taught Sappho Jones all about pain at an early age. Years later, an abusive husband continued her education.

As a result, the author knows all too well that it often feels like you may have no choice but to continue to endure tremendous hardship. Eventually, however, she broke the cycle of abuse by choosing to listen to the Word of God.

That decision paved the way for her to escape her situation through a mix of therapy, counseling, a support group, prayer, and action informed with biblical truth. She has declared the abuse to be over—and you can, too.

In this book, she shares how the Lord helped her escape her obstacles, and how you can also escape whatever pain you are suffering.

Throughout, she emphasizes that no matter what you have been through, you can enjoy a future of self-love, self-control, and self-worth. It will begin when you find support, reflect on the past, and pray.

Get a new outlook on faith, hope, determination, and love with The Eternal Hope Project.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Feb 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9781489744630

Sappho Jones

Sappho Jones began writing at age nine to escape family chaos. Her diverse ancestry is reflected in her poetry, prose, and scripture. She seeks to help others escape from violence and discover freedom.

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ISBN: 978-1-4897-4462-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4463-0 (e)

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 02/20/2023

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the

Holy Bible, King James Version (Public Domain).

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV Bible®

(The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright ©

2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News

Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the

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Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™

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Power and Control Wheel used by permission from the

Domestic Abuse Intervention Program (DAIP) of Duluth MN,

copyright material http://www.theduluthmodel.org, 2021.

CONTENTS

Why I Write to You

Chapter 1   What I Can Say

Chapter 2   Domestic Violence: What It Is and Is Not

Chapter 3   How Did I Get To That Place of Abuse?

Chapter 4   More Examples of Abuse

Chapter 5   Interrupting and Stopping the Pattern of Abuse

Chapter 6   Where Do I Go From Here?, or Red Flags

Chapter 7   Healing: Strengthening Your Mind, Body, and Soul

Bibliography

WHY I WRITE TO YOU

I write to you from a place of peace and strength. I put these words down in book form because God has led me to say things to women and men who are struggling with abusive relationships. My particular pain came about at an early age with an abusive mother, and in later years, an abusive husband. Each of us has a story, or multiple stories, to tell instead of remaining in silence. The terms domestic abuse and domestic violence are used interchangeably in the context of this book. Keeping secrets in darkness only harbors resentment, denial, emotional sickness and, yes, physical illness as well. I am a woman, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. I am a Christian who has overcome domestic violence and codependence. This is not to say I am a victim or to label myself, but to allow you to know that the sum of who I am was prompted, urged, and encouraged to complete this Eternal Hope Project which has been percolating in computers, in drafts, in notes, in my head, and inside my spirit for a long time. I stand on the scripture in Philippians 1:6: Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Until God calls me home, he wants me to reach out in love to all who will read and listen, and then learn how to overcome abuse forever.

Love, Infinity Squared,

Sappho Jones

The United States of North America, Planet Earth

CHAPTER 1

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WHAT I CAN SAY

Each and every day we have choices regarding how we want to spend our lives. Some of us feel trapped, like caged animals, and do not know what path to take or what direction will lead us away from the grief that we are in. Some of us feel as if we have no other choices or options but to endure tremendous hardship. My choice was to choose the Word of God because it was health to my soul and strength in my resolve to change a bad situation that had me bound in misery. I was a part of that pain. I wanted to change my situation and tried to run in many directions, but found true north when I combined therapy, counseling, a support group, and reading with the practice of prayer and action founded on scriptural truth. I did not always know what it meant when Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6 KJV). In fact, the Word of God is truth. The Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 12:7 NIV).

It was difficult for me when I was going through the valley of pain because I could find little literature in bookstores that could help me heal and understand my plight, so I went to Bible bookstores and found scant publications there as well. I know that the Word of God heals, and that in it whatever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope (Romans 15:4). Once you become comfortable with God, and there is a place of comfort in Him through fellowship with the Holy Spirit. You will develop a lifelong friendship with Him. God has spoken healing words over your life, and they are yours to find, embrace, and accept as the truth about who you are and who you are to become as you heal from the pain.

This book was written for you if you are in pain. Pain because of emotional, verbal, or physical abuse and the loss of something dear to you. Pain because maybe you can’t really put your finger on the source of your depression, anxiety, guilt, or low self-worth, or understand how you got into this situation. Pain because maybe you are angry at yourself or someone else in your life who just won’t change the way he or she treats you, or maybe you are curious to see if your efforts to keep on giving and giving will turn the tide. You notice painfully, although you try not to say it aloud, that when you give to other people, it always seems like they take more than they give back to you. It is not limited to giving money; it is giving time, love, commitment, tears, resources, personal items, and things that you yourself need. But following the part of Acts 20:35 that says it is more blessed to give than to receive, you give, not realizing that, in context, Jesus was talking about working diligently to help the weaker among us. This work of giving until it hurts, this pouring out of so much of yourself and receiving nothing in return, can be a major source of pain. It is true we all need love. It is true we all need to give and receive love on a regular basis, but if the flow of giving is going only one way all the time, there is something wrong. Perhaps you are dulled by