Finding True Love Through Online Dating: A Christian Woman's Guide

By Maricel Colquit

Can you really find true love online? The short answer is yes! Finding True Love Through Online Dating will show readers how. It is packed full of valuable insights into the online dating world including:

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Really Good Content LLC
• Release date: Apr 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987838204

Book preview

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40 And Waiting

Why, God, why? Why is it so hard to find a true, godly man? Will I ever find true love? Are there really no good men left out there?

The 40-year-old woman cried out to God, banging her hands against the wheel of her white Toyota Matrix as she cruised down I-4 in Orlando. The woman had just ditched a date in Tarpon Springs, a city in Florida off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico. This was her second date with the man she first met online. She thought she had finally found a genuine Christian guy. He ticked all the boxes. He was single, had never been married, was good-looking, active at church, and knew the Bible well. So where did she fail? How did she miss the signs? The lady had just found out an hour earlier that the man she was dating was a fraud. She felt duped and deflated. Never again, she thought. Never again would she make the same mistake, she promised herself.

That 40-year-old woman was me five years ago. You see, I was in the exact same spot as you probably are: single, frustrated, feeling alone, forgotten, and neglected by God, waiting for your future spouse for what seemed like forever. Like you, I have waited for my husband all my life. I tossed and turned in bed for what seemed like an eternity, often with tears streaming down my face relentlessly. I can remember asking God a thousand times, How long, O Lord, how long? The wait was painfully palpable, intensified by the fact that I was in a foreign land, thousands of miles away from my homeland.

As you must have imagined, I wasn’t always like this. I didn’t find myself longing deeply for my future husband until I was in my late 20s. As a high schooler, I always thought I would be married and settled at 25. But shortly before I turned 25, I realized there was so much more for me to see and do. I wanted to explore the world. Getting married would ruin all that—at least that’s what I thought. So, at 26, I packed my bags, left my country, and moved to Dubai, a melting pot of cultures. Nothing could have been more fitting than Dubai as the best launching pad to explore the world. Little did I know that my excitement would gradually be snuffed out by the city’s glitz and glamour.

One and a half years after arriving in Dubai, with the world as my oyster, I started exploring the United Arab Emirates’ contiguous countries. Israel was at the top of my list, as it had been my lifelong dream to see it. Living in Dubai at the time meant I could not travel directly to Israel without risking my UAE visa. Flying into Jordan was the next best option, so that’s exactly what I did. After an arduous bus ride, I got dropped off at the wrong hotel in Petra, world-renowned for its Nabatean ruins in the southwestern part of Jordan. The manager of the wrong hotel graciously offered to take me to the right hotel and show me the city later. Not knowing anyone in the small city, which looked more like a small village to me, I was more than happy to accept.

Deep inside, curiosity had gotten the best of me. I didn’t know it then, but loneliness had crept in. The hours-long public bus ride to Petra left me questioning what I was doing with my life. There I was, a 28-year-old, traveling solo through the rugged mountains of Jordan. I had purposefully preserved myself my entire life and refused to date casually. I started questioning whether all the waiting or preserving was even worth it. I had not even been kissed. I longed for my future boyfriend’s embrace. I had not gone out on an official date either, as I wanted my first boyfriend to be my first date. Yes, I had admirers. I had pursuers. I also had male friends I hung out with, but I didn’t see any of our get-togethers as real dates.

I wondered what it would be like to go out with somebody officially. The deeper I got into the heart of the Jordanian wilderness, the lonelier I got, and the stronger the urge to take the risk was. Nobody knew me in Petra, so what did I have to lose? I sensed that I shouldn’t go but ignored my gut feeling. I wanted to break my self-imposed rules for once. So I said yes to the stranger. Sure enough, just before dark, the hotel manager picked me up and told me he was going to take me to a place called Little Petra. He bragged about its most beautiful starry sky ever, which only got me excited. Unbeknownst to me, Little Petra was in the middle of the village but isolated enough that none of the villagers could see or hear us.

By then, it was too late for me to leave or escape. Darkness had enveloped the entire area. Acting blasé, I pretended I was totally comfortable in my surroundings while praying fervently and silently. The last thing I wanted was for the man to sense my fear. Granted, the man looked harmless enough. He was a little bony and only about 5’6 tall—not menacing or overpowering. However, I was keenly aware of the precarious situation I was in. The man pointed upward. I looked up and saw that the night sky was a blanket of stars, with the Milky Way almost crystal clear. The stars looked so big and so near, as if they were within our reach. The whole skyscape took my breath away. It sure was the most glorious and starry sky I had ever seen in my life.

After about an hour of stargazing and polite comments, we made our way back into town. Although the night sky was so breathtaking, I was more than happy to get out of Little Petra in one piece. I thanked the man profusely and said goodbye. To be fair, he was a perfect gentleman the entire time. He didn’t even try to touch my hand, but still. You would think I would have learned my lesson, but no. After exploring Petra for a few more days, I joined other hotel guests in exploring Wadi Rum. We then made our way to Aqaba, a coastal city in Jordan. In Aqaba, I bumped into an Italian Jordanian man who claimed to be a master scuba diver. He offered to take me snorkeling.

Since I had heard so much about how beautiful the Red Sea was, I thought the opportunity was too incredible to pass up. I had quickly forgotten about my daring exploit with the stranger in Petra. I was a relatively good swimmer at the time. We’d stay on the shore, so how dangerous could it get? Again, I ignored the warning signs not to go. I felt like a bird that had been set free from its cage, so I said yes again. If anything, since nothing happened to me in Little Petra, it may have emboldened me to try again. The man had a driver who took us to a less crowded part of the beach along the Red Sea. First red flag.

I was really hoping we would be among the crowd. I quickly knew the man was up to no good. Once again, I felt trapped. I ran to the sea excitedly, trying to make light of the situation. At first, the Jordanian pretended to be a gentleman. He patiently guided me and showed me the bright and colorful world under the sea. He pointed out the different kinds of fish and corrals underneath. He may have been telling the truth about being a master scuba diver after all. Before we knew it, the sun was already setting. The man grabbed me from the back and held me in his arms in the water. So, this is it, I thought. First, a hug, then maybe a kiss. Then, what? Is this what happens on a ‘real’ date?

I quickly regretted my decision to come. What was I thinking? I didn’t want the stranger to be my first kiss. But what could I do if he forced me? And what if he doesn’t stop there? Again, all I could do was pray silently and desperately that God would somehow rescue me for the second time in a row. I was well aware that I had put myself in a similar situation once again. I begged God to spare me just the same. I promised that I would never give in to my loneliness and curiosity again. By then, the beach was almost empty. Fear crept up my spine. Even if I screamed, I didn’t think anybody would come to my rescue. Being in a Middle Eastern country, some might even blame me instead.

But God proved Himself faithful once again despite my unfaithfulness. After brushing off more advances from him, the man abruptly gave up and asked the driver to take me back to my hotel. I was floored. I could not believe he was letting me go just like that. I held my breath until I reached my hotel safely. Looking back, my dangerous escapades made me realize how my loneliness made me so vulnerable. 1 Peter 5:8 clearly warns us to be watchful as the devil prowls like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. I could have easily been devoured if not for God’s grace.

It made me realize that it's true that one can never play with fire without getting burned. This is surely the reason why so many Christians often fall. They willingly put themselves in a compromising situation, thinking they could handle it and resist the temptation. But far too many regret their decisions more than those who escape unscathed, as I did. Unfortunately, Satan knows our weaknesses better than we do. He attacks us at the most opportune moment, when we least expect it. I never imagined that after waiting for 28 years, I would give in just like that. True, I was just curious about dating. I just wanted to experience it. But I didn’t want the physical aspect of it. I just wanted to enjoy spending time with someone.

But what could I possibly expect from an ungodly man? I realized going on an official date is not all it’s cracked up to be. On the other hand, it also made me wonder about my future husband. It made me wonder if all my waiting and preserving had been worth it after all. Twice, I put myself in a dangerous situation. Twice, I was rescued. Surely, God must have somebody out there for me? Surely, he must be somebody truly special? Why did God save and preserve me, then? My trips taught me a valuable lesson, but they also fueled a deeper hunger to see more of the world. Dating took the back seat while church, work, and occasional travel took the front seats. Sure, I was still curious about dating and relationships, but they were never a priority.

I wished I could have stopped the time, but I couldn’t. The dreaded 40 came in the blink of an eye. By then, I was resigned to the fact that I may never get married. Around the same time, I sensed God was taking me to the USA. Although I wanted to go to the U.S. for a visit, I did not want to live there. But as always, I surrendered my will and obeyed God. So, at 40, by faith, I left the vibrant city of Dubai for good and landed in New York. I only had three suitcases and a meager $10,000 to start a new life in America. I had also accepted a missionary post at a nonprofit in Orlando as assistant director of marketing. I did not know what the future held, but I was confident I was where God wanted me to be. It was all up to Him to make things happen.

My job was to trust in Divine Providence and wait for His plans to unravel in His time and way. Matthew 6:25–34 had taken on a whole new meaning to me. I tried hard not to worry, but it wasn’t always easy. On top of my financial worries, I also had to deal with the emotional challenges of not having anyone to lean on. But I didn’t know if marriage was even in the cards for me. And that’s how, at 40, I found myself crying on I-4 in Orlando, where I started this chapter. I was 40 and waiting for my husband-to-be, with no money and no honey. I was frustrated, dejected, and alone, with no prospects in sight. The future didn’t look so bright either. Or so I thought.

I’m sure many of you can relate to some or all of my struggles and challenges. Perhaps, like me, you have preserved yourself all your life but with no prospects either. I once met a 50-year-old woman who had been waiting for her future spouse. Her question was, What about me? I have served God faithfully, but why am I still single? I knew exactly how she felt because I was in the same boat as she was. All I could tell her was that I did not know God’s plans for her. But I did know that God had a plan and would reveal it to her in His own time. I encouraged her to keep the faith because God surely knew what