What’s a girl gotta do to get wed?: Your guide to attract your soulmate, perfect spouse, or lover

By Shelly Groves

Your soulmate, perfect spouse, or lover is attracting you to them. Are you ready to meet them? Before you answer this question, let me ask you this….. Have you healed from past relationships? From childhood trauma? Do you wholly and completely love and accept yourself?

 

I want to stress how important it is to heal and clear past trauma before you enter into a romantic relationship. When we carry emotional baggage into a relationship, we begin to project onto our partner, the very thing that caused us harm. Thus repeating the cycle of pain. Invest in yourself and your healing to attract what your heart desires. Your soulmate is waiting for you!

      

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blaze Goldburst
• Release date: Apr 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223100058

Book preview

This book is dedicated to my beautiful husband, Wayne. Thank you for your support during my spiritual awakening. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader. Pushing me to follow my dreams.

1

I want to tell you how I met the most beautiful match for me. But before I tell you that story, I feel like it's necessary to explain how I got into the right headspace to meet my perfect spouse. Shall I start at the beginning?

I grew up in a strict Christian home. Dating was not encouraged. Nor did we ever talk about the taboo subject of sex. I did have a couple of boyfriends in high school. We saw each other at church functions. Nothing serious. They didn't last long. My dating experiences didn't really start until after I graduated from high school and moved out of my parents' house. 

Leaving my parents' house was like a bird set free from a cage, but the bird doesn't know how to fly. Yep, that was me. No experience in dating, yet I was single and ready to mingle! I modeled what I saw my friends doing. They seemed to have it all figured out. Being very naïve and innocent, I soon found out that not everyone has pure intentions. I was a virgin until the age of twenty. I remember vividly the day I lost my virginity. I gave him my innocence with a trusting heart. He got what he was after and left me so confused. I mean, we had sex, so that meant we were in a relationship, right?

I think back to those days and I can chuckle at my naïveté. The insanity continued. I had the concept that if you were interested in someone and you slept together; you became a couple. That idea stayed with me for quite some time. Like I said, insanity. I finally wised up. It didn't stop me from jumping in the sack with whoever I chose. I knew that there were no strings attached. So I thought. It took me years to understand that sex is an energy exchange. And attachments do form. Another hard lesson. In a later chapter, I will share with you how to cut the energetic connection made when you are intimate with someone and why you should.

Another thing I didn't know is that when you have unhealed trauma or pain, you are left with a void. I was walking around with emotional wounds, looking for someone to help make me feel better. Let me tell you, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. When I was in my twenties and dating, the phrase red flags was not a thing yet. But they were lining my path all the way to the altar of my first husband.

On my wedding day, my sister told me, You don't have to do this. We can run out the back door if you want. I thought she had lost her mind! I was going to marry this man and all our relationship troubles would disappear. I know you're probably laughing right now. It's ok. I'm chuckling as I write it. It didn't take long for his true colors to show. But we were married. Why is he not acting like my knight in shining armor?

Me being like an old faithful dog, I stuck around. I just knew he would become the husband I wanted and so desperately needed. Remember I still had a void from unhealed pain. I thought he would make it all better.  That's a tall order for someone who is broken themselves. In retrospect I think he needed the same from me. Two broken people looking to fill a void from unhealed trauma is a disaster waiting to happen. Not long after we were married I got pregnant. He had a young son that lived with my in-laws. My thought was to have his son come live with us before I gave birth to our baby.  I wanted his son to feel loved and be apart of our family. I wanted my husband to step up and be the father I knew he could be.  We would be one big happy family.  I had the notion that my husband would settle down and stay home with us. I know I know. Its hard to think I really believed this way. His son did come to live with us and shortly after I miscarried. More trauma that I didn't take the time to heal. I didn't even know how to heal for that matter.

When the