A Life Half Lived

By Colette Caple

A Life Half Lived takes you on a journey of loss and enduring love, with a poignant and unforgiving paranormal twist.

Charlotte and Stella are two inseparable sisters until one day after a spring walk, Stella mysteriously disappears; simply vanishes. Both their lives torn apart!

Charlotte desperately searches the high street but to no avail only to find out days later about her sister's infidelity. When the police reveal her sister's affair she is saddened to think she didn't know her as well as she thought.

The Police search for the man from Stella's mysterious affair but Charlotte doesn't believe that this new information is linked to Stella's disappearance.

Charlotte is forced to continue with family life never able to believe that Stella has simply run away...

When a suspect is taken in for questioning Charlotte is forced to disclose information that she has kept hidden since childhood. These secrets threaten her marriage and friendships. To what lengths is Charlotte prepared to go to find her sister? 

When another woman comes forward to the police revealing her own disturbing secrets Charlotte feels the man in custody will at last be punished but when their evidence is deemed insufficient, Charlotte feels exposing the truth has been for nothing.

Will any of her sacrifices make a difference?

The vanished Stella has fallen into an alternative reality where the family she knew and loved do not exist. The man who calls her mum is a total stranger and her handsome boyfriend senses somehow, she is not the same.

Doctors decide Stella's inability to remember anything must be a bout of amnesia from the accident that they believe she has survived from.  As the weeks go by Stella is unsure which reality she belongs to.

When she falls pregnant she hopes that the baby will create a new unity but she is shocked to find her pregnancy is disbelieved. Left alone with the prospect of raising the child she forges new bonds and when these are shattered, will there be any way to recover. Stella is desperately trying to formulate a plan to return to her family but in a world where the people and faces that seem familiar don't recognise her at all.

As the months pass by her bond to her new life increases and she is uncertain where she should live her life. As the baby grows she asks herself if she can give up on her old family. Does she even have a choice.

When the only family who remain question your sanity. Can you allow yourself to give up on the truth?

It asks the question: even if Stella returns, can life ever be the same again?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Colette Caple
• Release date: May 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223653479

Colette Caple

I currently have work for the NHS on the south coast of England and have been writing since I was a professional tennis player completing sports articles for my local paper. This story was born when one afternoon after a long walk with my sister I had the terrifying thought that she had actually gone missing in our local high street. That thought compelled me to develop my story from a mere skeleton into this novel. My writing takes inspiration from people and places close to my heart allowing me to create characters that are believable and emotive. 

Book preview

A Life Half Lived

There was no time, that’s what the lady thought. It was just sound drifting in and out of a life half lived. Her wispy hair fell across her forehead. It had long needed a cut but as her visitors had arrived less frequently, the so-called dedicated nursing team barely seemed to remember her. The pristine engraved scissors lay in the drawer by her bed alongside a brown wooden hairbrush. In a distant memory she recalled her sister tenderly pulling it through her hair, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. If her hair was like her silent comatose state, it would hold onto this life with its tendrils, suffocating the soil around it. 

Stella saw harrowing reflections where other people saw peace. Her mind dazzled and filled with memories that she couldn’t explain to anyone, and if she’d been able to, no one would have believed her anyway. The doctors gave her medication to dull the pain, along with her senses.  Each morning, even though to them she was asleep, she knew the sun was rising. She could feel the warmth of the day on her face as they rotated her towards the window. The frightening nightmares returned in her mind as the drugs ebbed from her system. Her thoughts were back haunting and taunting her and the only people who could validate her life probably were as confused as she was. She wished she could see her baby one last time, hopefully growing now from baby to child. One day in the future she may have children of her own. Would they ever meet when she finally faded from the planet? Stella pictured her existence as an entangled puzzle of time lines slowly fading like a pale dust on an uncertain horizon...

2015

Charlotte never tired of the view from the hills facing Corfe Castle. She moaned every summer as the visitors arrived in Dorset to enjoy the beautiful landscape, but who could blame them, it truly lifted their spirits. The stubbly grass tickled through her leggings as she sat beside her sister who doubled up as her best friend, pouring hot squash into beakers. She’d been her walking companion since they were kids; their lives richly intertwined by differences and similarities. 

Charlotte stared across at the ancient monument wondering who had battled within its walls before they had crumbled into the postcard image that her eyes now focused on. They had walked from Corfe covering their usual terrain of low boggy meadows, bluebell edged fields and steep hills; the clean respectable dogs who had leapt from the car now had coats matted with mud and twisted gorse. 

This was their moment, clearing heads of busy thoughts and creating a peaceful mind; the busy weeks rushing by, pushed to the back of their brains as the sun and wind swept it all into a nonsensical aberration of time. They wondered why they couldn't always spend their time walking their worries away.  No one else really understood their hobby. Other family members called it an obsession, two women wandering aimlessly through the countryside hour after hour, not knowing where they were heading or why. To them it was everything, all that they held dear and all that they would miss if somehow, they were ever separated. Their energy when together was like a force field repelling even close family members, pushing them away without them even knowing it.

Stella swirled the cooling squash in her beaker, sipped, then emptied the last drips onto the dry grass beside her. Their rest over. They never stopped for long, a swift stroll down the hill and they’d be beside the river, where they could clean the dogs off before they bundled them back into the car for the short trip home. Neither of them ever really wanted to return to the confines of their houses, but family commitments drew them back, enveloping them into their motherly duties. For now, they were still free in the open, as they raced one another down the hill like they remembered doing when we were kids. Charlotte always won, but Stella thought once upon a time she’d cared. Strangely now she had resigned herself to second place. Being the older sibling, she would bow out graciously!

They nearly always had one stop on the way home; she guessed it was to extend their time together; a coffee shop, where they’d snatch a latte and a slice of cake and sit happily in the car, still with plenty to chat about. They used to try to sit in a café, but between the dogs and their bubbly conversation, they seemed to drive other people away. They never really knew why. Was it the raucous laughter or just their annoying zest for life? In the car it was just their nonsense and bazaar conversations, for their ears only.

There was one space left on the high street and Stella insisted it was her turn to pay. It seemed to even out over the months. She jumped out and looked back at me, mouthing latte, cake. Charlotte nodded, it was like a brief moment held in time, this would become her final memory.

It would be a pain of loss that she never thought it possible to feel. People had always talked about this pain, when they’d lost someone close but Charlotte always imagined somehow, she’d be immune. She knew she’d be ok, put on her suit of armour and stride out in the world, as resilient as ever. But she was wrong!

She waited in the car, minutes ticking by. Too many minutes, even a queue couldn’t take this long! Charlotte found her heart starting to race, imagining something had happened, but how could it? She only had to walk two hundred metres, Stella didn’t even need to cross the road! Charlotte stared at the clock on the dashboard, watching as the illuminated digits changed as the minutes ticked past. This was ridiculous!

After twenty minutes Charlotte pulled the keys from the ignition and jumped from the car, her feet barely touching the pavement as she rushed towards the café, trying to remain calm even as the first signs of panic took hold. She looked inside through the tinted glass, but no sign of her there. In fact, no sign of anyone. The closed sign swung on the door, moments before it must have been open. She’d seen other people appearing with coffee cups with the familiar logo on them, weird! They always got their coffee from there, they hardly ever went anywhere else.

She walked faster looking into another Italian café they’d once popped into, nothing! Charlotte crossed the road, her heart beating faster with every step, not being able to make any sense of it. She paced up the high street further than they normally ever ventured; mannequins in charity shops staring vacantly back at her as the search continued. With nowhere left to try, Charlotte returned to the car, hopeful that Stella had returned and somehow she had missed her, but the car remained where she’d left it, but no Stella! The dogs gazed from the back window, their noses smudging the steamed-up glass, tails wagging pleased that someone had reappeared. Charlotte tapped the glass acknowledging them and their friendly welcome as she stared up the high street imagining Stella striding towards her. There was only an elderly man and a couple of teenagers.

Charlotte slumped into the passenger seat of the car, pulling her phone from her pocket. Silly me, she thought why hadn’t I just called her. All this panic for no good reason. She pressed her sister’s number on the photo but the familiar sound of ringing had been replaced by a long drone. She tried again, the same sound echoed back at her. Charlotte glared at her phone, angry that the technology had failed to help. She had no other choice, she had to call her husband. Now it had been forty-five minutes and she needed to reach out for help. 

She called his number, spitting out the words, barely making any sense. He listened half-heartedly, presuming it was another one of her crazy exaggerations. Stella would surely turn up any second, where could she have possibly gone to?

She’s literally disappeared, you need to get here straight away. It’s been forty-five minutes.

Are you sure that she’s been gone that long Charlotte? That sounds a bit crazy, there’s literally nowhere she could have gone he replied, not showing any signs of concern.

Yes of course. I’m not stupid! I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t think there was something to worry about, would I? she retorted, anger bursting forth, all sense of normality dissolving.

Ok no problem, calm down. I’ll drive over, I won’t be long, she’ll probably be back by the time I get there. he replied reassuringly, suddenly realising that Charlotte sounded genuinely panicked.

Leon arrived fifteen minutes later, immediately taking charge and for once Charlotte was happy to be instructed. Leon said that they should look together, they would ask everyone they met, someone had to have seen something. There had to be a reasonable explanation.

Charlotte and Leon returned to the car half an hour later, unsure where else to look for Stella. Charlotte was filled with a sense of doom. She closed her eyes, picturing her sister’s face, the smile as she’d turned away, her glorious energy. Charlotte didn’t even realise that she was crying, silent tears rolling down her face as the reality sunk in. Stella had disappeared, she must have been taken, that was the only answer. Like a horrible movie, Silence of the Lambs, bundled into the back of a van, to be held captive or worse. She couldn’t bear to imagine. She screwed up her face, pressing her hands into her eyes, trying to replay the facts, searching for anything she’d missed. But drew a blank!

Stella could already smell the coffee as its delicious aroma hit her nostrils; she loved coffee. She felt in her pocket for her bankcard, glancing down to check it was the correct one; the account that actually had any money in it. Seconds later she was there inside the coffee shop, buying two lattes, a slice of apricot tart and a blueberry muffin. As she walked out, in the split second of looking down to steady the cup a crazy kid on a bike veered towards her, knocking her off balance and into the wall. Even though she felt the solid stone against her skin, she had the sense of falling, tumbling out of control. There was an extreme pain in her face and a squeezing sensation in her mind seeing a million visions blurring into one. She blinked, still holding the cups and praised herself for not having spilled a single drop; just a dull ache where she must have knocked her head. She walked the short distance along the pavement to where she’d parked her car. That was the moment when she sensed something was wrong. For starters, the car was gone! A blue Vauxhall corsa sat in its place. Strange.  Why would Charlotte move the car, unless a traffic warden had appeared? That must be it!

Stella walked across the road to the carpark they sometimes used if the road was busy, but no sign there, so she returned to the high street, sipping the hot coffee, a little annoyed that she had to wait. The minutes ticked by and still no sign. She reached into her pocket and dialled Charlotte’s mobile but the line was dead. She waited a little longer acknowledging something was wrong and trying not to freak out. Where on earth had she gone? She tried other numbers on her phone, none of them were working, her network must be down. That was the only explanation.

The coffee slowly cooled in the cardboard cups and Stella knew something drastic must have happened for her sister to drive away and not return. She sat on the edge of the wall finishing the drink and throwing the remains into a bin, trying to decide what to do. She tried her phone again, still nothing. At least she had her card, worse comes to worse she thought I can get a taxi.

She waited another fifteen minutes but still no sign. Sod it I’ll make my own way home, she thought to herself. She better have the best excuse ever for this little stunt, already aware that she was starting to lose it. Stella crossed the road to the ATM and shoved her card into the machine, pressing the steel digits to gain some cash...the number you’ve entered is incorrect. She pressed again imagining in her panic she’d just made a mistake, but the same reply flashed on the screen. She withdrew her card in fear of it disappearing and marched angrily away not knowing what to do next.

Walk, that was the only option, five miles home. The phone network would surely be back up soon.

It was a long walk after the miles already trekked across the hills, especially with the increasing feeling that something dreadful was waiting for her. Her spirits sank further as a fine drizzle filled the air, dampening her clothes and gathering as droplets in her hair. The creeping coldness reminded her that, annoyingly, she had left her coat in the car. Within half an hour the woollen sweater was clinging to her body, soaked through.

It seemed like an eternity before she finally turned the corner into the cul-de-sac, letting out an audible sigh as she recognised the homes she passed each day on her way to work. She lived at number thirty-five, a white painted property on the bend of the road, surrounded by a cottage garden and a gravel drive plenty big enough to fit their two cars. 

Stella stopped abruptly on the pavement. A yellow Volkswagen beetle and a Ford transit van sat where her sparkly new Alfa and Mitsubishi shogun should have been. From the roadside there was a clear view into the front windows of the house, allowing her to gaze into the lounge and dining room. She peered across, unable to recognise any of her belongings, forcing her to wonder what was going on. What were these strange vehicles doing on her drive and who were their owners?

She crunched across the gravel, banging on the door, temper taking the place of anguish as she waited to be let inside. The door swung open and a red-faced exuberant man stood staring at her. His foot was propping open the door whilst he strained to control a noisy sounding terrier; desperate to rush out and bite the intruder. Stella gazed past him into the hallway. There was stuff everywhere, boxes, toys, clothes and children screaming. A woman passed by waving at a boy who was wearing a superman mask. Stella didn’t recognise any of them.

Can I help you? the man asked her

Stella found the words lodged in her throat, clearly, she didn’t live here. Nothing made any sense. She collapsed into a bedraggled heap on the floor momentarily defeated.

Laila can you come out here a minute, hurry up love, and can someone take hold of this bloody dog. The man yelled.

He stood beside Stella, not daring to touch her. She had her head hung down, hands twisting in her lap. He noticed a wedding ring but nothing unusual. 

Maybe she had escaped from somewhere or was she just a crazy drunk. He couldn’t smell any drink on her though and she looked well-dressed apart from the fact that she was soaked through.

His wife appeared at the door with a blue patterned cup in her hand. She glanced towards Stella and then back at her husband.

Can we help you at all? Would you like a hot drink or something? the man asked her, uncertain how to react.

Stella shook her head refusing their generosity.

The woman smiled pleasantly and then Stella stood up. With an apologetic wave at the family she walked away, glancing one last time back at her home before disappearing around the corner.

That was pretty odd. The husband remarked as he closed the door behind them. Five minutes later he was slumped in front of the TV with the football on, the mystery visitor forgotten.

Where do you go when you’ve no home to go to?

The rain had ceased but the pavements still had puddles; the car lights reflected on their surface as Stella walked onwards. Her brain was scrambled from the shocking situation. Her whole existence seemed to have been deleted. She had no money and an obsolete phone that connected her to an electronic void. She felt in her pockets, pulling out an old tissue, a receipt and then the smoothness of what felt like a note. Yes, thank goodness, a twenty-pound note that she’d stuffed into her pocket for bread that she’d planned to buy at the bakery on the way home. Where was her family, her darling daughter Tasha, son Tom and husband Aiden? Her heart raced at the thought of not knowing how to find them. Would her children think she had abandoned them? Tears began to flow freely, sticking her hair to her face. She wiped her skin with the cuff of the damp jumper and continued to walk not knowing in what direction to turn. It would be dark soon and she needed to be inside, at least get warm. She didn’t fancy a night on the streets in the dark. Her mind thought of a local place. She could only picture a McDonald’s, at least it was a 24 hour one. If she kept buying coffee they couldn’t throw her out. At least there’d be time, time to make a plan. 

At the end of the street was where it should have been, instead there was a KFC; the flashing colonel sign blinking at her as one of its bulbs had broken. She stood staring at it transfixed, but how could this be? She had passed here only yesterday and it hadn’t been there. Maybe she was going mad. She hoped in a minute she’d wake up and this sick nightmare would be over.

The Library

Somehow Stella had survived the night and arrived at a library. It was the only place she could think of where she could access a computer and then maybe discover what was going on. She waited on the bench outside, wondering what the passing strangers must think of her: Her clothes crumpled and dirty from the day before, hair unbrushed and tied in a loose ponytail. She almost resembled one of the homeless people she’d bought coffees for just a day or so ago. No one knew their story, now she didn’t even know her own.

A lady with a kind demeanour appeared by the glass door and Stella was admitted into the shelter of the library. She paid for the use of a computer for an hour in the hope that she’d be able to find some information that could guide her homeward.

The familiar Google search appeared, and she keyed in her name, Stella Martin beauty creams. A list of people filled the screen, plenty called Stella Martin appeared but none of them were her. Pictures of various beauty products and various Stellas, but not herself. She tried again with just the name of the beauty creams she’d personally created, DARE to be Different by Stella, that drew a blank. Useless! She decided to try her children. She remembered that Tasha had been in the paper a few weeks ago for a fundraiser they’d had at school. Her name had definitely been mentioned. She waited hopefully, nothing. It was as if her family simply didn’t exist.

She thought for a second, then googled herself again but using her maiden name Stella Steel. Instantly an image appeared. It was a photograph of either herself or of her identical twin, someone who looked just like her. A mirror image. 

She was standing on a boat, wearing a yellow mackintosh and waving towards the people on the shore, she looked so happy. The caption below in large black letters read. STELLA STEEL missing, feared drowned. Search is finally called off!

She read the whole article twice over, reading slowly and taking in every detail. The name of the beach, a photo of the RNLI boat and where the boat had launched from. There was also a list of the friends and family who had helped. It mentioned a son, Daniel, partner Trent and sister Charlotte. There wasn’t a photograph of them. This was so terrifying. Stella’s mind ached from the strain of not existing and then suddenly existing but being presumed dead. It was too much to take in. She deleted her history on the computer and smiled absently at the librarian as she left the warmth of the building. 

The only place she could think to travel to was the beach of her disappearance, she only hoped she’d have enough money to make it there...

The Beach

It had taken hours to make it to this desolate strip of coast; tennis ball sized pebbles made walking difficult in the semi-darkness. She had kept her face covered as best she could on the long journey for fear of being recognised with the recent media attention fresh in people’s minds. She had used all but her last pound of money for travel and she felt faint from hunger. It seemed like an eternity since her last meal. She strode along the coastline staring out into the distance, waiting for an answer. The sea rushed in and out towards her feet dampening the shore, she felt weak from thinking and as she reached the end of the peninsular she collapsed. With no reason to stand she just lay there, the sea creeping ever closer. 

It was dark when she woke, the crescent moon a dim light in the night’s sky. She was shivering and her legs were soaked, the tide had come in and almost washed her away, maybe she should have let it. Joined her other self, drowned and lost. She pulled off her saturated clothing, flinging it aside to join her leggings and boots she’d already discarded, not caring if they dried or not and moved up the beach a little and curled up into a ball. She had given up! She closed her eyes and imagined the summer sun warming her bones and the sound of the kids screaming in the garden; the echo of their voices having an argument as they frequently did. Tasha was frowning, angry with something Tom had done to her, the image changed, now she could see Aiden in his suit, briefcase in hand too busy to stop and pay any of them the attention they deserved. Stella could only feel the love for her children as she floated into oblivion!

Daniel pulled on a pair of skin-tight jeans, a creased t-shirt that needed washing and his trainers. They could all give up but he never would. He just couldn’t, his mum was all he’d ever had, the only stable thing. When his dad had walked out when he was six, she’d stepped up and provided for him, he’d never missed out on a single thing. She exhausted herself keeping the money coming in and taking him to football games, helping with homework. Looking back, he didn’t know how she’d coped. She was the equivalent to superwoman. 

His fair hair and blue eyes were all from his father but his grit and determination came solely from his mum. His mum’s latest partner, Trent was still asleep, that was her one disaster area, men! She never seemed to pick any good ones but Trent seemed different; they’d met on the set of her latest play. He’d been the lighting technician and was always there helping with anything she needed, when the play had finished Daniel had expected the romance to fizzle out but it hadn’t. He liked Trent. He seemed like a really good guy and his mum deserved that. The trip out on the boat had been Trent’s idea.  A friend of his had offered for them both to go, but then some work had come up that Trent couldn’t afford to turn down, so mum thought she’d go without him. If only she hadn’t agreed to go, she didn’t even really like the water.

Daniel grabbed his set of car keys from the bowl and quickly wrote a note to Trent letting him know where he was. He reversed out of the drive, long gone before Trent was awake to stop him.

The music on the radio could not invade his thoughts as he drove the familiar route to the coast. He didn’t even know what he thought he could achieve by religiously visiting the same strip of land. He knew the harsh truth, if she was going to be found alive they would have found her by now. What was it then that he hoped to find, a dead body; would that be worse than not ever knowing, thinking she’d been torn apart by a propeller or eaten by fish. He didn’t know and he found himself crying again. He hated to show his emotions and he was grateful to be alone, with his own sadness wrapped around him like a shroud.

It was so windy that there was virtually no-one about. An elderly man struggled along the pavement, trailing a tiny dog behind him, the morning’s paper tucked under his arm but apart from that it was a vacant emptiness. Daniel reached into the back seat stretching for his jacket and hat that he had thrown there yesterday, after another unsuccessful day of searching. 

The wind hit him straight in the face as he marched down the pebbles and along his normal route. Today he would go further, he wouldn’t return until he found something, this had been his motto every day. It had taken his Aunt Charlotte to drag him back to the car, angry and distraught, otherwise he’d have probably slept out here every night alone, waiting for her to return.

His long stride covered the ground quickly and he was almost to the end; the part before the coast took a sharp bend when he thought he saw something. Was it a person! He ran, almost tripping in his desperation to reach the mound, as he drew closer he could see it was a body. They were virtually naked apart from a thin vest. Her arms wrapped around her nakedness, long brown hair matted over her face.

He screamed at her, Mum!  but no response.

The Search

Leon and Charlotte had searched for another hour, talking to strangers in the street, their faces engaging and kind but they hadn’t seen her. With the whole town covered they had completely exhausted themselves and Charlotte had to resign herself to the fact they’d have to call the police. At last Stella’s husband, Aiden had appeared to help, his solemn exterior giving nothing away. He stood looking puzzled and detached.  Charlotte wondered if he wanted to take charge but he stood by the car barely acknowledging Charlotte or her husband. There was no love lost between them all, but for now they had one common goal to find Stella and if that meant working together, that’s what they had to do.

By calling the police her sister’s disappearance became a reality. She was going to become a missing person. She’d have a file with a number attached. Stella would never be a number to Charlotte though, she knew she’d spend her life trying to find her.

Charlotte dialled the number, waiting to hear a voice at the other end who could help her. She spoke to someone and relayed the details of her sister’s disappearance. She explained how it was totally out of character, that Stella was only going to buy coffee and how they’d searched the high street for the past three hours. No-one had seen her. She tried to keep her voice calm, although inside she felt like a trembling wreck. She could hear someone typing, creating a log of events. The man assured her that he’d send someone down as soon as possible and she should stay where she was.

After giving him all their details and contact information, Charlotte ended the call. She had hoped to feel reassured but instead she was filled with a hollow emptiness. Her husband Leon, had arranged for someone to pick up Stella’s car and the dogs and drop them home. He'd left their sixteen-year-old daughter Alana in charge of Jacob and Neve. He hoped she’d be fine coping with the three dogs as well.

It seemed like time had stopped, everyone else living their lives, passing by with shopping, chatting to friends, their lives impervious to disaster. The three of them perched on the wall silently, no-one daring to speak, Aiden scrolled through his phone wondering if the answer lay there. He was hard to read. Charlotte had never really understood what Stella had seen in him. In her opinion he was arrogant, and the affection he had shown Stella and the kids had always seemed fake. Maybe when they were alone things were different, they must have been otherwise surely, she’d have taken the children and left him. Tom and Tasha, their children were growing up fast and they must have begun to feel the emotional void their parents lived in. Charlotte refocused her mind, knowing her sister’s relationship had nothing to do with her disappearance. The police would want to know facts and not her misunderstandings of a marriage.

Eventually the police arrived, there weren’t any sirens or a grand display like you see on the TV, just two regular uniformed people, approaching them to ask questions.

She couldn’t recall their names or rank but she knew that suddenly people in the street took notice of them. The police managed to speak to the owner of the coffee shop and he immediately called the girls who worked there, relaying Stella’s description. The staff thought they might have remembered her but they couldn’t be sure. It had been a busy day and they’d seen hundreds of customers. She wasn’t unique to them, only to Charlotte and her family. No-one had seen anyone behaving strangely; no mysterious vehicles had been in the vicinity. After an extensive search, they were none the wiser. An officer approached them and he said due to the evening closing in they should all head home. Someone would be in contact with them in the morning. 

Charlotte gazed up into the evening sky, the first streetlights were coming on and it was beginning to get dark, she knew there was nothing else that could be done, they had searched everywhere and spoken to everybody. Still going home seemed like giving up and Leon had to drag her reluctantly to the car. Driving away was like letting Stella’s flame extinguish, but with no ideas left to try she allowed Leon to steer her home. As they pulled away from the curb, she turned to look one last time as Charlotte pictured her sister’s face. Her wonderful sister was gone! ‘Where are you?’ She thought as they sat in silence, the shock of the day suffocating any speech.

By the time they arrived home she felt a sickness rising in her chest.  Charlotte brushed a kiss across the heads of her children and took herself upstairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She lay on the cold bathroom floor listening to the sounds below as Leon tried to sort out the chaos of the unfed children and dogs. She heard Jacob cheer for pizza delivery and the girls chastising him for his exuberance

Life was simply continuing without Stella. People would eat, drink and sleep, but how would she ever be the same? She knew tomorrow the police would be heading round to Stella’s to continue the search. They'd rifle through her belongings looking for a clue, then there would be the social media posts and media campaigns. She felt exhausted just thinking about it. The pain in her body grew as she imagined Aiden explaining to Tasha and Tom that their mum was missing. Tom was fourteen, Tasha twelve although they weren’t little kids Charlotte thought they’d probably need more support than a younger child. They would have so many questions, none of which had answers!

She dragged herself into the shower, scrubbing the day away praying the soap could remove her shocking memories and she’d be able to go down stairs as if nothing had happened. The water was soothing, with the fresh smell of the almond soap on her skin. She gazed absently down as it swirled in a frothy vortex down the drain. Her body was clean but her heart was filled with an emptiness. She emerged from the shower wrapping herself in her fluffiest dressing gown and headed down to join the family who were already squabbling over the slices of pizza laid out on the counter top. Their voices hushed instantly as they spotted her and Leon reached out to touch Charlotte’s hand. 

Are you hungry love, I ordered a bit of everything and I’ve already fed the dogs so nothing for you to do at all.

Charlotte