Mommy There's a Shark in the Pool!: A Mother and Daughter's Journey with Childhood Anxiety and the Power of God's Word

By Anne Robson Dice and Lydia Anne Dice

"Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story..." (Psalm 107:2a, NIV )

Childhood anxiety is at an all-time high. It's as if our children are swimming in a pool of sharks! What can we do to help our children navigate these anxious times?

• Be empowered by this true story of how the Lord used His Word to help fre

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887388113

Anne Robson Dice

Anne is a retired ELL and Spanish teacher and has a passion to help children acquire an understanding of the "language" of the Bible. She is a regular speaker on anxiety at her church's Freedom Conferences. She also leads a mission in the Dominican Republic to empower people with education, income generation skills, and the Gospel. She is president of Building Up, Inc. board that oversees the mission. Anne has been married to her husband, Matthew, for thirty years. They are parents to Lydia and Luke and enjoy life on the Patcong Creek in EHT, New Jersey.

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A Mother and Daughter’s Journey with Childhood Anxiety and the Power of God’s Word

Anne Robson Dice & Lydia Anne Dice

But God’s word is not chained (2 Timothy 2:9b, NIV).

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, we thank our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and want to shout,

To God be the glory, for every testimony of His faithfulness and His healing written in this book!

Our hope and prayer are that the Lord will use His words to uplift you and give you hope.

We also dedicate this book to Matthew and Luke for partnering with us, championing us, and loving us all along the journey.

Psalm 107:2a (NIV) commands, "Let the redeemed of the

Lord

tell their story…"

We thank everyone who has partnered with us to tell our story of redemption!

Thanks to our family and friends, many mentioned in the book that the Lord used to pray for us, sustain us, and carry us when the journey became too much. What a gift!

Special thanks to my mom (aka Nia) and Joyce for their unending love and support!

Another amazing gift, Cindy and Bruce; the gift of your home in Florida was huge and allowed us to complete the book!

Finally, a special recognition to our editor, Katharine Boak, for her patience, encouragement, and expertise while writing this book.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:3–6 (NIV)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments. 5

Chapter 1. Mommy, There’s a Shark in the Pool! 9

Chapter 2. The Big Reveal 19

Chapter 3. Hyper... Mature, That Is! 29

Chapter 4. Exposed 39

Chapter 5. God Takes Back What the Devil Steals! 53

Chapter 6. Filling the Gap 69

Chapter 7. Perfect! 81

Chapter 8. Not Perfect Enough 93

Chapter 9. Do It Afraid 105

Chapter 10. Choose to Remember 113

Chapter 11. Chapter 11 125

Chapter 12. Identity Theft Protection Plan 137

Chapter 13. Grace 147

Chapter 14. In Short Supply 159

Chapter 15. Wrong Season to Bloom 171

Chapter 16. Get in the Pool! 179

Chapter 17. Scarred for the Kingdom 191

Chapter 18. Lydia’s Chapter 199

Epilogue. COVID-19 209

Chapter 1

Mommy, There’s a Shark in the Pool!

Sir, the invalid replied, "‘I have no one to help me into the pool’¹ when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

Then Jesus said to him, Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.

John 5:7–8 (NIV)

The most marvelous thing for our family to do on a hot, humid summer day in South Jersey was to jump into our backyard pool. That is until the day our seven-year-old daughter, Lydia, announced to the family, Mommy, there’s a shark in the pool! We were all joyfully playing in the water, but she couldn’t get in because she was convinced there was a shark swimming in it. That was Lydia’s reality. Anxious thoughts had been prowling in her mind for most of her short life, but now they were interfering with everyday activities.

After close inspection, even in the deep end, no shark was found, but no Socratic reasoning could convince her otherwise.

Can you see a shark in the pool? we asked Lydia.

Lydia replied, No.

Do sharks live in chlorinated water or in salty ocean water?

Lydia sadly shook her head no and remained quiet.

Do you see a shark bothering Lukey, Mama, or Dada when we swim in the pool?

Finally, Lydia spoke up. I know that there is not a shark in the pool, but my brain is telling me that there is a shark in the pool. I can’t get in the pool.

Like the invalid in John 5:7 who needed healing from Jesus to walk, Lydia needed healing from Jesus to get in our pool. She, too, was weakened and disabled by an illness. The doctors labeled her condition as generalized anxiety disorder. They gave us the choice of a quick fix, placing her on medication, or the more difficult and longer road of teaching her skills to deal with her anxiety, which she could draw upon for the rest of her life.

We knew her seven-year-old brain was still developing, and we only wanted to administer medication as a last resort. After researching several different types of medication, we realized some had serious side effects, including an increased risk of suicide. While some were okay, this potential side effect made us very leery.

Lydia cried all the time and constantly begged Jesus to take her to heaven. The daily pain she experienced, both emotional and physical, overwhelmed her, and she wanted an escape. We were concerned that certain medication would only exacerbate these symptoms.

As her parents, Matthew and I were heartbroken and fearful for Lydia’s well-being. We secretly cried as much as she did for a season, confused about what to do, but finally came to terms with the reality that there were no easy answers. We would have to transform our fear into determination to begin seeking solutions to help our daughter.

After prayerful consideration, we researched non-pharmaceutical options and decided to first try cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as well as other strategies. We fully understood and agreed that medicine was a helpful option and necessary in many cases of anxiety, but when considering Lydia’s unique personality and needs, we decided to try alternative options. We moved forward with confidence and peace in our decision to only administer medication if the other approaches were not successful.

CBT

Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a form of self-talk; at least, that is how our doctors explained it to us. Using CBT, Lydia would develop the ability to tell herself the truth about her irrational, fearful, and, at times, paralyzing thoughts. Because she was so young, we told Lydia that CBT stood for change bad thoughts and that she would learn to replace her bad thoughts or the lies she was believing with the truth. In John 8:32 (NIV), Jesus says, Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. We believed more than anything that Lydia needed truth.

I still remember when Lydia told her first lie. She was two years old, and the floor was covered in toys. Her infant brother Luke was strapped in his car seat. When we asked her who had made the mess on the floor, she pointed to Luke. That day, even though she didn’t understand, I told her, Jesus is the truth, and He shall set you free (John 8:32).

Little did we know how accurate that statement would be for Lydia’s future or understand the power of the truths outlined in Scripture. Truth was the best tool to address Lydia’s anxiety.

An Alarming Doorbell

Everyone experiences anxiety. God designed us to feel anxious in dangerous situations as a warning signal to seek protection. We learned that anxiety is like a doorbell. When a doorbell is pressed, the doorbell rings, and when the button is released, the chime ends. Healthy anxiety goes away after the threat has passed.

For a person diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, the doorbell gets stuck. The button does not release, and the chimes continue. The fearful thoughts run through an anxious mind over and over. You know the anxiety doorbell is stuck when it interferes with everyday life. These types of fears and lies prevent you from living life to the fullest and hinder even the most basic activities.

Lydia was clearly stuck. Our goal was to figure out how to unstick her doorbell. Not only did she refuse to enter our pool, but she also didn’t want to leave the house. School was torture for her, and deciding what outfit to wear compounded the angst. Spiders made her literally freeze with fear. Her room had to be in perfect order, and any item out of place freaked her out. Tears flowed every day and every night because Lydia’s mind was constantly bombarded with terrifying thoughts.

In the Bible, Romans 8:6 (NIV) says:

The mind governed by the flesh is death,

but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

More than anything, we desired life and peace for our daughter. Matthew and I were determined to teach Lydia how to govern her mind by the Holy Spirit. How did the Holy Spirit govern your mind? We had no idea, but we were about to find out.

The Battle Plan

Having taught English to non-English speakers third through sixth graders before Lydia and Luke were born, I knew we had to learn strategies and techniques to teach and empower Lydia to pick up her mat and walk and get in the pool of life. Finding ways to reach and communicate to children from different countries, with different cultures, and who spoke different languages helped prepare me and encourage me to somehow reach Lydia. Tackling her anxiety with CBT was like teaching another language. I knew it could be done! So we began the quest to learn how to manage her illness. We would design coping mechanisms, coupled with the Word of God, to help Lydia deal with the painful emotions she was feeling and adjust her thinking to line up with reality and God’s truth. Praise God, Matthew supported me and championed me through every step.

The mission was to teach Lydia a new language and to design a battle plan with effective weapons to demolish the strongholds in her thinking process, but we wanted the plan to be relatable to our seven-year-old. One of the few places Lydia felt comfortable was at church, and she loved the Bible. Having also taught Sunday school, it was easy to incorporate Scripture in her CBT and use it as our primary weapon to break down the anxious mindset that dominated Lydia’s thought process.

In 2 Corinthians 10:4–5 (NIV), God’s Word states:

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.

On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up

against the knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

How do you explain to a seven-year-old the profound truths stated in 2 Corinthians 10:4–5? How does a young child take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ? We wanted to know how a child would think, so we asked Lydia.

What does someone look like when they are held captive?

Lydia answered, They have handcuffs.

We went to the dollar store and bought handcuffs. On one side of the cuffs, we attached the lies that Lydia was thinking, and on the other side, we attached Bible verses that counteracted the lies.

Bible verses became our number one source of ammunition! We googled verses about fear and anxiety, and the internet provided many lists of applicable verses. Scripture began to hang everywhere in our house and covered Lydia’s room. Since young kids are visual learners, we matched pictures to the verses to help increase her understanding.

One of Lydia’s favorite verses became 1 John 4:18a (NIV):

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

Again, we asked Lydia, When God says, ‘Perfect love drives out fear,’ what does that make you think of?

She thought and said, A race car driver.

So we looked for pictures of race car drivers on clipart, and Lydia chose the one she liked best. We pasted the picture on an index card with this verse. Having Lydia participate in making the card appealed to her love of arts and crafts and helped reinforce the visual connection to the verse. We printed out copies for her room and to have in her pocket at school. I told Lydia that perfect love has a name, and His name is Jesus. Lydia envisioned Jesus driving a race car with fear trapped in the trunk, taking it far away from her.

Christ Broke Through

Many years later, when Lydia was around seventeen years old, I was praising and thanking the Lord for how He used His Word with cognitive behavioral therapy to change bad thoughts for Lydia. As I prayed, He revealed to me that CBT really stood for Christ broke through!

With the power of His Word and truth, Jesus released the doorbell and broke through the repetitive negative and fearful thoughts that Lydia was having. Jesus and His truths, as stated in the Bible, allowed Lydia to eventually swim in our pool. He healed her just as He, not the pagan pool at Bethsaida, healed the invalid in John 5:9.

We recognized that the science of cognitive behavioral therapy was catching up to God’s original plan of healing for all of us, as explained in Romans 12:2 (NIV):

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing

of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—

his good, pleasing and perfect will.

We adapted Romans 12:2 to our own situation: Do not conform to your pattern of thinking lies and anxious thoughts but use cognitive behavioral therapy with Scripture to renew your mind. Then you will be able to function and think in a way that lines up with God’s Word and His good, pleasing, and perfect will for your life.

***

This book is a testimony to the power of the Word of God and how Jesus continues to employ His Word to heal Lydia. When sharing Lydia’s testimonies of God’s power and faithfulness, many people who heard our stories said that we should write a book to provide hope to those experiencing a similar battle and let them know they are not alone. We gladly agreed. We never want to forget what the Lord did and continues to do or stop bragging about His goodness!

The book is organized in chronological order. Each chapter begins with memories of our journey written by me, followed by a PC Box, which lists suggested strategies we used in our encounter with childhood anxiety and that we continue to use today. It’s called a PC Box because we ask you to prayerfully consider (PC) each suggestion. We offer a lot of ideas. Not every idea will be applicable to your family’s needs. We encourage you to pray for at least one takeaway from each chapter and then try to incorporate it with the day-to-day management of your child’s anxiety. We strongly encourage you to pray for supernatural wisdom to design your own strategies as well. Please remember, the ideas in this book took fifteen years to accumulate, and there were many strategies we tried that didn’t work!

After each PC Box, Lydia, now in her twenties, offers her response to the chapter and provides a snapshot of her current thinking process in her ongoing pursuit of freedom in Christ. We are hopeful that her insight will help the reader see the transformation of her thought processes and understand the mind of someone who has struggled with anxiety and fear.

It is very important to note I am not a clinician, a therapist, or a doctor. I am just a mom who desperately wanted healing and freedom for our daughter. Any suggestions made in our book should be bathed in prayer and given approval by your child’s medical team before implementing. Though we very much believe in the healing power of Christ, our experience is anecdotal.

PC Box

Look for Bible verses to negate or counteract bad thoughts. For example, google Bible verses about anxiety, Bible verses about healing, and Bible verses about the power ofprayer.

Read The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones to your children every night and reinforce the truth that Jesus has a rescue plan forthem.

Handcuff negative, fearful thoughts and lies to compare and contrast with truth in theBible.

Try Socratic reasoning by asking a series of logical questions that will lead your child to seetruth.

Don’t watch the news with young children struggling with anxiety until they have strategies to cope with the illness. Lydia saw a news story about a young girl in Florida being attacked by a shark, and that thought got stuck for a longtime.

Research cognitive behavioral therapy with children. An example: https://childmind.org/article/behavioral-treatment-kids-anxiety/.

Discuss findings and options with your child’s medicalteam.

Lydia’s Thoughts

Every time I look back on my life and how Jesus has worked, praise can only come from my lips. The road was not always a joy ride, and life and its troubles still aren’t, but I am a 100 percent convinced that the Lord has beautiful plans full of wholeness and healing for those who seek Him. Please hear my story as a testament to what the Lord can do in anyone’s life. The Lord has used these strategies and experiences in my healing, and my hope and prayer are that they will help you and your loved ones as well.

In this chapter, my mom compared the two options, medicine or CBT. While I do think the Lord gave the world medicine to heal us and that medicine can be a helpful option, we must still engage in the journey of seeking Him and learning how to combat lies. Even when we use medicine, it cannot be our only line of defense. We must trade quick, temporary fixes with the long, hard road of retraining our brain to believe truth that leads to deeper healing. What is truth? We would say you can find truth in Jesus Christ and His beautiful gospel, the good news of the story of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. We hope you see this unfold as we tell our story.

Let me tell you, the journey of seeking truth is worth it. The crying, the questioning, the doubting, the sharing, the listening, the struggle, the fear, the physical pain you feel either battling with mental illness or watching someone go through it. Hang in there. Jesus will meet you in the midst of those places. You are loved. You are seen. You will see victory in Christ, whether it be this side of heaven or the one coming. For now, fight the good fight. I am still fighting alongside you. I hope our story can help you learn from what the Lord has taught my mom and me through my journey with my anxiety.

Chapter 2

The Big Reveal

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said,

"I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and ‘revealed them to little children.’

Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to