Laughing Through the Tears: I Give You Permission to Laugh, Walking Through Alzheimer's with Your Loved One

By Laurel Palladino

My dad-AKA Mike to my kids-taught me everything I knew, or so I thought.

No one can ever prepare you for all of life's trials and tragedies that may come your way. Some things are just too big. This author takes you on a journey from child abuse to Alzheimer's. It is a story of a man and his family and the r

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Sep 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887380520

Laurel Palladino

Laurel Palladino was born and raised in the small town of Wewoka, Oklahoma. She stays grounded by her family, friends, and faith. Writing from a place of humility and humor, she deals with the challenges of raising kids and taking care of aging parents. She is the proud mother of two sons and currently resides in the Tulsa, Oklahoma, area with her husband, Paul, to whom she has been married twenty-seven years.

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Laughing through the Tears

Laurel Palladino

Trilogy Christian Publishers

Tustin, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Laughing through the Tears

Copyright © 2023 by Laurel Palladino

\All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 979-8-88738-051-3

E-ISBN: 979-8-88738-052-0

Contents

Introduction

1. Shaken, Not Stirred

2. Never Give Up!

3. Wasting Time?

4. Overwhelming Odds

5. No Worries, Be Happy

6. The Meaning of Life

7. Native Habitat

8. Gone Missing

9. Thoughts about Mike

The Last Letter

Mike-isms

Advice and Resources

Acknowledgments

About the Author

For Mike and my boys

Introduction

The story you are about to read is complicated. It’s emotional. And it’s been incredibly difficult to write.

It’s funny and it’s sad—all at the same time. Does that even make sense? Like have you ever laughed during a sad movie, or worse—a funeral? Or cried when you were happy, at weddings or graduations? This is like that, kind of, or at least for me it was. I’m sure in my case it was a defense mechanism, maybe a survival instinct. A person can only take so much sadness before the mind adjusts, and laughter ensues. Also, I have a twisted sense of humor.

As I sit down to write Jordan’s story . . . Mike’s story . . . my eyes fill with tears, and I can’t see the words I’m typing. I think about stopping, but I need to get the words out on paper. I need to do this—I want to do this, for my children, Jordan and Michael; for my parents, Mike and Bethel; for my sister, Kimberly. But most of all, I want to tell my story to you, dear reader, so that you can know it’s possible to laugh in the middle of sorrow and find joy even when the walls are closing in. I hope that when you’re finished reading this book, the weight of what you are going through will be easier to carry. And I hope you will know that laughter is always the best medicine—even if you have to smile through your tears.

For the past few years of my life, the question seemed to be: To write or not to write? I had so many ideas, but the words just didn’t want to come out. My mind would go back and forth between worrying that no one would want to hear what I had to say or that I wasn’t good enough and wanting my story to be a blessing to other people. Then finally, one day a good friend told me to just write and let her worry about the rest…and this book is a product of that conversation.

Your first question is probably, Who are you, anyway? And why do I need to know your story? Well, I am not a writer—not yet, anyway! I am an avid reader of all kinds of books, but I’m not sure that makes me a writer. What I am is a wife of twenty-seven years to a man who makes me laugh every single day. And I am a mother to two amazing young men who make me prouder of them than I ever thought I could be. I am a sister, a daughter, a friend, a grandma, a runner—like, let’s-go-run-a-marathon-for-fun runner, a lover of all eighties movies and music—and a huge Bon Jovi fan!—but most importantly, I am a child of the King.

As I write these words, I am thinking of you, sweet reader. Thank you so much for choosing to read this book above all the others you could have chosen. Please know that as you read what I have written, I am praying for you, and that in whatever season of life you find yourself, you would also meet God in the pages of this book. He is more than enough for each of us—and all our stories!

~ Prayer ~

Dear heavenly Father,

I ask You to please bless the person reading the words of this book. Let any anxiety, worry, or stress they may be feeling melt away. Cause these words to speak to their heart and bring them the peace that passes understanding, so that they would know they are not alone in their journey. For the mama who may be struggling with a child who is hurt or having trouble in school, give her the courage and strength she needs to keep doing the hard things. For the son or daughter who is walking with a parent toward the end of life, help them to know it’s okay to be angry or sad or frustrated or confused—but also to laugh in those rare moments that something is even slightly funny. I ask You to use these words of mine—this story I have to tell—to bless them and to draw them closer to you.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Notes from Mike

Seminole Printing & Office Supply

314 North Main

Seminole, Oklahoma 74868

Phone [phone]

Of Laurel I dream

Fond of her I am

But times I could scream

When her gas gauge

Tord empty does lean.

My dad’s biggest pet peeve was letting the gas tank get too low. One Saturday I climbed in my car and found a poem he had written to me: Of Laurel I dream, fond of her I am, but at times I could scream when her gas gauge toward empty does lean. His routine on Saturday mornings was to wash our cars, check the oil, and fill up the tank when needed… This was his way of saying, Pay attention to your gas gauge!

1

Shaken, Not Stirred

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

—Romans 8:28

Have you heard? All things work together for the glory of God. Actually, I think it is our job to take adversity and react to it in a manner that glorifies God. I don’t believe God deals in tragedy, as these are things of man.

—Mike Simmons

Jordan, my firstborn son, was a perfect baby, seven pounds and four ounces of pure joy. He was early to arrive and eager to get moving, and from the moment he took his first breath, he was always ready for the next adventure—and he still is, to this day.

Jordan, where can I start to tell your story—the story we have been living through together? You are officially an adult, living on your own with a job you love, I couldn’t be prouder. Your childhood seems like it happened in the blink of an eye. When I look at you, I can still see the baby that you were, and the toddler who overcame enormous odds—but I also see the young man whom I know today. How can I reconcile all those people? How amazing it is that you have overcome the many challenges that came your way. You are resilient, strong, so funny, and loyal—you get a lot of that from your grandpa, better known as Mike. More on his story a little later. You two had so much in common and shared the strongest bond between a grandpa and his grandson.

When Jordan was barely a year old, we moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and my husband Paul, and I decided I would go back to work. I had to have childcare, and so the hunt for a daycare began. A lady I had known for a while told me about a home daycare that was taking in kids in my neighborhood. Perfect! I thought. I made an appointment, and Jordan and I went to check things out. The woman seemed perfect; she had a clean house and a calm demeanor, and best of all, her place was close to home. We signed up immediately, and soon Jordan was going to daycare every day while I went to work.

What could go wrong? Famous last words. For many years to come, I blamed myself for what happened; I still do on some days.

November 30, 1998 was like any other day. I got up, got dressed for work, and took Jordan to daycare so I wouldn’t be late for my oh-so-important job.

The day was progressing as usual—until I received an urgent phone call. It was the daycare worker calling.

Laurel, Jordan’s not breathing.

Those words nearly stopped my heart. I couldn’t really tell what had happened, but I did register that an ambulance had been called, and it sounded bad. I stood