The Boldly Inclusive Leader: Transform Your Workplace (and the World) by Valuing the Differences Within

By Minette Norman

To create cultures where diverse teams flourish, we need boldly inclusive leaders.

​Organizations have made public commitments to diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging, yet their leaders rarely have the skills to lead inclusively. Leadership consultant and former Silicon Valley executive Minette Norman is committed to changing that by sharing some of the most important things she’s discovered over the decades she spent in the corporate world, such as
• every human being needs to feel they belong,
• teams thrive when everyone feels safe enough to share their unique ideas and experiences,
• innovation is a group activity,
• empathy and compassion are leadership superpowers, and
• leaders set the tone by what they say, do, reward, and tolerate.
     This is not a book about quick fixes or paying lip service to the hot topic of inclusion. This is for leaders who want to boldly transform the workplace and are willing to leave their comfort zones. As a leader, you will learn to maximize your team’s potential and appreciate that inclusive leadership is an ongoing journey. As Minette shows, there is no flipping a switch or a neat, three-step formula. Inclusive leadership takes commitment and practice, but the rewards are enormous.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group
• Release date: Aug 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9781956072129

Book preview

PREFACE

An Unexpected Journey

I will not follow where the path may lead, but I will go where there is no path, and I will leave a trail.

—Muriel Strode

The scene: Two executives at a leadership team meeting for a large Silicon Valley software company—one man, one woman—having a difficult conversation. The woman starts crying.

I’m the woman in this scenario, and I’m mad as hell to be the one crying. I like to think I’m strong, even fierce, and instead I am feeling completely exposed, totally vulnerable. What brought me to that painful moment? And how did I go from crying in a hotel hallway to writing a book about inclusive leadership? To answer those questions, I need to provide some background.

When I emerged from Tufts University in 1982 with a bachelor of arts in drama and French, I planned to become a professional actor. I use the word planned very loosely, as I didn’t have any real plans beyond the summer after graduation, when I would work part-time at both the French consulate in Boston and the Harvard Physics Research Library.

I aspired to be a successful stage actor in New York City who would transition to appearing in artful and intelligent films, but I soon realized that I couldn’t tolerate the painful rejection involved in auditioning for roles. The actor’s life just wasn’t for me, and I desperately needed a Plan B. If I wasn’t going to leverage my drama major, I figured there might be some way to leverage that French major.

While searching for other ways to make a living, I got a job at the French Trade Commission in New York City when I was in my mid-twenties, just when they were introducing personal computers. Suddenly the IBM Selectric typewriters were being replaced with IBM PCs, and I found that I was a quick study. Not only was I good at learning how to use the software, but I also found I was good at explaining how to use the software to the people around me who were completely befuddled and intimidated. That ability led me to my first job in the software industry.

In 1989, I got a job as a technical writer at Adobe, where I was assigned to write the Photoshop version 1.0 tutorial. That was the beginning of my thirty years in the software industry. I spent about ten years as a technical writer at various Silicon Valley companies and then was hired in 1999 at Autodesk, the technology company known primarily for its ubiquitous AutoCAD (computer-aided design) software.

Soon after being hired, my manager started talking to me about becoming a manager myself. I resisted, believing that writing technical documentation was more interesting and challenging than managing people. I had no idea how mistaken I was! Eventually, my boss persuaded me to become a manager, and I started by leading a team of technical writers. I quickly discovered that not only was managing people interesting and challenging, but I also loved it. I realized that learning about people and human dynamics was infinitely more interesting to me than understanding the intricacies of yet another software application. That first management job was my introduction into leadership, and I spent the next thirteen years moving up the corporate ladder, leading ever-larger teams through major changes.

At the end of 2014, I found out that the person I reported to, who was the vice president of Engineering, was moving out of his role because the senior vice president he reported to wanted someone who could transform software engineering. I had recently orchestrated a major overhaul of the one-hundred-person Localization Department (which was responsible for getting products and accompanying materials translated and adapted into multiple languages for sale in non-U.S. markets), so I was feeling somewhat confident. I applied for the VP role, knowing that I would be considered a long shot for the job, as the three people who had held the role before were former engineers. To my surprise and consternation, the senior vice president decided to give me a ninety-day trial as an acting VP. He said that although he knew I had strong leadership skills, I had two strikes against me: The first was that I was not a software engineer. The second was that the engineering leadership in the company was a boys’ club, and he wanted to know if I could get the endorsement and win the trust of the engineering leaders in the company, all of whom were men. It was the biggest audition of my career.

I will not pretend that I breezed through that audition. Those ninety days were extremely challenging. Every time I thought I’d met all the expectations the senior vice president had laid out for me, he gave me another list of men to meet with. At around the forty-five-day mark, I was ready to give up, but I persevered because of something several of the men in those engineering leadership roles told me: they wanted me to get the role because I brought a different perspective, because I thought differently, and because I knew how to drive change, which was sorely needed. And at the end of the ninety days, I got the job.

There I was, a former actor, technical writer, and localization leader, taking over engineering at a company that was highly engineering centric. There were more than thirty-five hundred engineers in the company, in offices around the globe. The dozens of product teams were completely siloed, and my mandate was to get people to use common tools and share code and best practices.

What I quickly learned was that transforming engineering wasn’t about technology—it was all about people and behavior and culture, improving how we communicated and worked together, and embracing different perspectives. I spent about five years in that VP role, getting a huge education in human behavior. I read voraciously about human interaction, neuroscience, collaboration, empathy, diversity, and psychological safety, and I put my learning into practice every day.

And that brings us back to the moment where I was standing in a hallway crying at that off-site leadership meeting. I had a challenging relationship with one of my peers, which all came to a head there. During a break, he asked if we could talk privately and then called me out for criticizing him and his staff members in public. In turn, I called him out for ignoring me and not appearing to respect me. It was the moment when I told him I feel as if you don’t have any respect for me that the tears came. I realized that just like every other human being, I had a profound need to feel heard, seen, and respected. But guess what? So did he. He told me that my public criticism of him and his staff members made him feel embarrassed and disrespected. I was frustrated and angry at myself that he could share his feelings with me without crying, while I couldn’t hold it together. I felt I was exposing all my weaknesses and vulnerabilities by showing up as overly emotional, something women in business are often accused of. At the same time, I recognized that this is how he showed vulnerability.

That encounter was a breakthrough moment for me as a leader and a human being. I started to understand that even though I didn’t like this person, he had feelings just as I did. Like me, he also cared about his professional reputation. And I believe that I helped him understand that if we were going to continue working together, I needed him to see me, hear me, and respect me, just as he needed those same things from me. I was so inspired by this experience that I gave a keynote speech about empathy at our annual engineering conference.

I soon realized, however, that while empathy was an important starting point for better workplace interactions and collaboration, it wasn’t enough. To transform how we worked, we needed new ways of thinking about things and divergent viewpoints, but it was incredibly difficult to be the person who challenged the status quo. Many people feared saying what they truly thought or proposing a new idea, especially those of us who were not part of the dominant group, which felt like an insiders’ club.

I recognize all the ways I have been privileged my entire life. Yet, even in my privileged position as an executive, I frequently felt like an outsider, whether as the only woman in the room, the only non-engineer in a group of engineers, the oldest person in a group, the only member of the leadership team without children, or the person who wanted to talk about team dynamics rather than platform architecture. I was never part of the in-group.

While feeling that I didn’t quite belong, I was also mentoring several women and people from underrepresented groups, and I had been doing that for many years. I witnessed the fear people had in speaking up not only to share their ideas but also to report egregious examples of wrongdoing and discrimination they had experienced. The risk of being marginalized, excluded, or retaliated against outweighed their desire to speak their truth.

Ultimately, I left the software industry because I found myself being marginalized and excluded. A new leader took over the division where I worked, and I was moved down in the leadership hierarchy. My responsibilities and team size shrank to the point that I couldn’t even describe what I did any longer. But more importantly, my voice was silenced. I identified with the words of the former U.S. secretary of state Madeleine Albright, who once said, It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.

After leaving my job in the summer of 2019, I took some time to figure out what was most important to me. I realized I wanted to leverage everything I had learned over my decades in leadership to help other leaders build inclusive working environments where everyone could speak up, be themselves, and do their best work.

I knew I needed a fresh start—one where I could create my own path. So, I started my consulting business just as the whole world was shutting down due to the global pandemic. While my timing wasn’t great, it has become clear over the last two years that there is an enormous need and appetite for the work I’m doing. Organizations have made public commitments to diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging, but their leaders and managers don’t have the skills to lead inclusively. I am committed to changing that.

I decided to write this book to share some of the most important things I’ve learned over the decades I spent in the corporate world. I’ve learned that every human being needs to feel they belong. I’ve learned that teams and organizations thrive when they can leverage diverse ideas and talent. I’ve learned that innovation is a group activity. I’ve also learned that organizations need to be deliberate in building cultures where those diverse ideas and talents can flourish. To create those cultures, we need boldly inclusive leaders.

INTRODUCTION

An Invitation to Boldly Inclusive Leadership

Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.

—Horace

Bold is a bold word, and I chose it for this book’s title because I felt that inclusive by itself was not enough. That’s not to say that the word inclusive is in any way weak. In fact, inclusive is a powerful word but maybe not quite as powerful as I want it to be. When I think about being bold, I think of being unflinching in the face of resistance. When you are bold, you push forward because you know it’s the right thing to do, even when others hold back. You go beyond what’s expected and comfortable. You risk standing out and not fitting in. You take action even when you’re afraid. You have the courage to challenge the status quo because you know it is no longer serving you or the people around you.

I have spent many years learning what it means to be an inclusive leader, and I hope you will not be disappointed to hear that there is no simple formula, no three (or five or seven) steps you can follow. Inclusive leadership requires an openness to learning from others and a willingness to look inside yourself. To lead inclusively, you will embrace discomfort and recognize your own and others’ imperfections as part of what it means to be human. You will learn that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. You will be an ardent champion for those who are underrepresented, underseen, and underheard. You will be a fervent challenger of the status quo. You will be both tough in standing up for justice and softhearted in how you interact with your fellow human beings. You will be an iconoclast when required.

Inclusive leadership requires an openness to learning from others and a willingness to look inside yourself.

You’re invited!

I am inviting you to join me on the path of inclusive leadership, whether you are taking your very first step or are somewhere deep into the journey, wondering where else you might explore. The inclusive leadership path is not a straight line, nor does it have a single destination. At times, you may find yourself going backward and retracing your steps. You may also encounter some unexpected detours along the way.

I like to think about inclusive leadership as a practice. Like any practice you may have in your life—a sport, a musical instrument, meditation, knitting—you get better with practice, but that doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes or experience frustrations along the way. And when you commit to a practice, you don’t let the setbacks stop you from picking back up where you left off. You learn from your successes and your failures along the way, and you try not to beat yourself up too hard when things don’t go well.

When you commit to inclusive leadership, you incorporate the practice into your daily work. You don’t view it as something off to the side that you’ll pick up when you have extra time. Trust me—you’ll never have that extra time. Committing to inclusive leadership means finding ways to practice inclusive behavior in every meeting and every interaction. It means keeping inclusion top of mind when you establish policies, create systems, and make decisions. You show up as an inclusive leader every day, not just when it’s convenient.

My goal in writing this book is to help you overcome any apprehension, discomfort, or inertia you may have about the work of inclusive leadership. I know how easy it is for leaders to be so overwhelmed by the topics of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging that they do nothing. Doing nothing can seem safe, but boldly inclusive leaders don’t take the safe route. All I ask is that you take a step—any step—and see how it goes. You may be surprised to see the impact of those small steps.

You show up as an inclusive leader every day, not just when it’s convenient.

About this book

I’ve written this book in ten chapters, with each chapter as a step in the progressive journey of inclusive leadership. As you read this book, you will learn new skills not only for becoming an inclusive leader but also for developing other inclusive leaders in your organization. While the chapter order follows a logical progression in my mind, do not be constrained by this order. Feel free to jump around and dig into the chapter that resonates the most with you today. Another chapter may seem more compelling tomorrow or next week.

In every chapter, I have included stories because I believe that one of the most powerful ways we connect as human beings is through storytelling. Stories ground theoretical concepts in everyday reality. The stories I have included are from my own experiences in the workplace. With three decades in the software industry, I have innumerable stories to tell. I will admit that I don’t always come off looking like a boldly inclusive leader in these stories. However, I’ve shared them because I learned something important from each of these experiences, and I hope I can share some of what I’ve learned to help you avoid making the same mistakes I have made. I’ve also included stories about other leaders I’ve seen in action because there’s always something we can learn from observing others, whether we witness behavior we want to emulate or avoid.

In my consulting work, I always lead with the advice to start with yourself and your own behavior, and that’s exactly how this book starts. Chapter 1 focuses on leadership self-awareness and the need to understand the tone you are setting. As a leader, you must recognize the extent to which you are being watched, scrutinized, and analyzed in every