Successfully Single: Discover Power in a Season of Uncertainty

By Terease Baker-Bell

REIMAGINE THE JOY OF BEING SINGLE!

In a world that is now more remote, more mobile, and more hybrid than ever before, it's easy to feel isolated and alone, especially if you are living as a single person or even as a single parent. However, as a Christian, you already have all that you need inside of you through Jesus Christ and the Holy S

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Sep 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887381145

Terease Baker-Bell

In this powerful book, Terease Baker-Bell provides the Biblical insights and truths to transform your thinking. She chronicles a 12-week Bible study on being single conducted during the 2020 pandemic with a group of women. She draws on her personal experiences to illustrate how God rescued her from the pain of divorce, established her as a single mother of two, and catapulted her as a career woman of twenty-five years. She introduces you to a process of learning to depend on God rather than man while demystifying biblical truths on waiting, dating, and relationships.

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Trilogy Christian Publishers

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Copyright © 2023 by Terease Baker-Bell

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 979-8-88738-113-8

ISBN 979-8-88738-114-5 (ebook)

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my parents, Johnny Baker (1936-2017) and Georgia Baker (1935-2020). My dad’s love for his family, generosity, sacrifice, loyalty, humor, and selfless way of providing left an impression on me for a lifetime. My mom’s love, strength, wisdom, determination, and consistency in church helped to mold my faith and provided me with a foundation from which to launch. Their 60-year marriage meant more to me than I ever really knew while growing up. I will be eternally grateful for the example they set.

To Trinity and Selah, my two precious daughters. Words can’t describe how proud I am of both of you. You bring an immense amount of joy to my life. I love our relationships! Being your mom has been my greatest reward.

And to God, who I give all the Glory! So grateful that you call me ‘Friend.’ Thank you for entrusting me with such an important assignment as ministering the Gospel to your people.

Acknowledgments

As with any major project, it takes many people to make it all come together. I want to extend my personal and sincere thanks to:

Successfully Single Study Group Members including Gloria Drake, Monica Triplett, Aderonke Kujore, Passion Katrina Bragg, Shasmond Burnett, Ebonique Griffin, Nancy Di Boss, Karen Singleton, April Troupe and Ashanti Mason-Chambers. Thank you for showing up, being vulnerable, and trusting the process! This book belongs to US! Love you forever!

Successfully Single Study Group Guest Speakers: Every last one of these women was divinely ordered by God to be a part of my life…to help me birth this book and my destiny. I cherish our relationships and for them, I’m forever grateful!

Rosalyn Livingston: Well, it’s YOUR time Ros, just as I told you when we first met! Thank you for blessing the ladies of our group with your love, wisdom, and powerful testimony! You are instrumental in the development of ‘me’ as a woman of God and this book. Your gift of exhortation is refreshing for all who meet you!

Carnethia Wright: Or shall I say ‘Prophetess Carnethia.’ You came to the group and did what only you could do! Thank you for your words of encouragement to the group during our session and for your mighty testimony. And thank you for always speaking into my life and helping to guide me towards my destiny. Your compassion is meant to bless nations!

Yolanda Shields: ‘Ms. Yolanda, the midwife for promises!’ Thank you for pouring into our group. You are a role model for young women all over the world. Your dedication to living upright is contagious, and here we are, walking into destiny together, as we said we would do!

Ronshea Edwards: the one with keen discernment. Thank you for blessing our socks off with your testimony! When I met you, I knew I was among the warrior queens of the Most High! You are a chain breaker, and it’s time the world knows that!

To my siblings and extended family: Gwen Brasselmon, Jackie Baker, and Michael Baker. You’ve supported me and loved me my entire life. You always speak life into me, no matter the situation. I love you all very much!

Lecia Rives Salaam: to my BFF! Thank you for always believing in me…even when I didn’t believe in myself and for always having my back! Your light is what attracted me to the Lord during graduate school, and your humor is what kept me around all these years! Keep shining that light for the world to see!

Pastors James and Debbie Winans Lowe and the Bethel World Outreach Family: Thank you for being consistent. Thank you for being role models, and thank you for sacrificing your life to help make the multitudes better. Bethel family, you have blessed me and my family tremendously. I love you, appreciate you, and will always be a part of the Bethel Family!

Introduction

My family, which was my pride and joy, was falling apart.

I fumbled through stages of denial, acceptance, bitterness, helplessness and, somehow, always ended back at misery! A newborn baby and a six-year-old daughter were depending on me to be the strong mother that they had grown to love. Corporate America was breathing down my neck for consistent results. Every day was a struggle as I fought off the involuntary shaking that I had started to experience. The loneliness and trauma associated with my grim reality had started to create a sickness in the pit of my belly.

I was so weak. I had no power. I was physically depleted and emotionally dead. I was at the lowest point that I’d ever been in life.

But one day, amid my darkest valley, I had an encounter with God.

After years of pretending I had the victory but didn’t. After years of faithful church attendance and doing good deeds, but being left empty. After having exhausted all options and having nowhere else to turn, I finally became desperate enough to chase after the Lord Jesus with all of my heart, with all of my soul, and with all of my might. Only in His presence did I find a place of rest.

If you’ve ever been brought to your knees, so afraid you didn’t know what to do, then this book is for you.

I could’ve said, if you are single, this book is for you. But if I’m being completely honest, this is a book to equip, encourage and pour faith in you, whether you are single or not.

Many of us have experienced very hard seasons in our lives, many times spurred on by the decisions that we’ve made. There are some situations that are completely out of our control, things that just happen, but often, most situations are linked to our own decisions.

In my case, I found myself making excuses and not being accountable for my part in the trauma. My wounded condition justified the fact that I’d omitted myself from the problem altogether. It blinded me and prevented me from being able to acknowledge the poor judgment I possessed along the way, and long before trouble rocked my world. The pain was real, harsh, and perhaps, damaging to my soul. No wonder it overruled my comfortable state of immaturity: a childlike-girlish nature despite my age. This lack of wisdom, lack of understanding, and lower level of living permeated through my bloodline. It resulted in bitterness and divorce and had become a cycle, one that had conquered many in the generations before me.

It was a curse, and it had to be broken! I had to break it!

The Bible says that we are more than conquerors. But what does that really mean? To me, it means to fight and win, and then fight again…and win again! And continue the cycle, always coming out on the winning side! But how you fight makes all the difference.

The expression Single has seemed to carry a negative connotation, both in the church and in the secular realm. It is derived from one’s physical situation of not being married, or as some see it for women, as not being picked. Unfortunately, in some societies and in the minds of many, it denotes inferiority and impotency. However, to be single is not a curse; it is a gift! It’s a time to become whole. It’s a time to get in relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and be set on your journey to destiny.

So, this piece, is in no way an effort to forsake marriage and the beauty of that union; However, it’s an opportunity to exploit the cliché, single and alone, for the imagery it bears. This piece is to be a light …to act as a torch lit and held in esteem by singles all across the world. It’s a shofar blowing loudly throughout our species to rise up! You are called by God to do so!

I had a burning desire to embark upon this journey with a group of women after sitting in the pews of my own church hearing of the abundance of resources available to married couples, yet those for singles seemed to be lacking. Creating a piece that would provide answers and a safe space for singles to grow became my focus.

This study is meant to elevate your understanding, your wisdom, your conversation, your prayers, your gifts, your love, your relationships, and your abilities to the highest level possible. You’ll be confronted with being true to yourself, as God will not bless the fake you…only the real YOU! You’ll be challenged to dig into the word of God and to obey Him. Meanwhile, your faith will be increasing through the word of God and from the testimonies that you’ll hear from women who sought God for their husbands, and He answered them. The purpose of this book is to help you grow from a girl in Christ to a powerhouse, Successfully Single, woman of God!

It Took Years to

Become Successfully Single

I had grown up in church but had not experienced God. I fit into the category of one who had heard about Jesus but didn’t know him. Sort of like a person who has heard of Barack Obama but doesn’t ‘know’ him…and has never even met him. But did I really need God? After all, I was a ‘good’ girl growing up. I managed good grades with little effort, loved fashion, and