9 Behaviors To Avoid When Seeking an Intimate Relationship

By E. E. Cromwell

Do you and your partner have the same arguments over and over again? 

 

Have you been abused or threatened with violence by someone who is supposed to love you?

 

Does your significant other call you crazy or make you think you're losing your mind?

 

These are just a few questions you may identify with if you are in a toxic relationship or are heading towards one.  Maybe you're already married or just started dating someone new.  You may be looking and waiting for the right person to show up.  Regardless of your situation, this book is for you!

In this book, you will discover red flags that your date, partner, or spouse may reveal.  Recognizing red flags can help you stop a relationship before it wrecks your life.  Walking away is easier early in the relationship, but leaving an abusive or highly toxic relationship is extremely important no matter how long you have been together.

 

This book aims to unveil toxic behaviors in relationships.  Not every red flag is a deal-breaker, especially if your partner is willing to communicate and work with you to improve the situation - but ignoring red flags can be downright dangerous, so this book will show you some troubling behaviors that should set off an alarm. Expert advice and research-backed data will help you to not ignore red flags.

• Language: English
• Publisher: E. E. Cromwell
• Release date: Jul 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223926863

Book preview

Summary

Do you and your partner have the same arguments over and over again? 

Have you been abused or threatened with violence by someone who is supposed to love you?  Does your significant other call you crazy or make you think you’re losing your mind?

These are just a few questions you may identify with if you are in a toxic relationship or are heading towards one.  Maybe you're already married or just started dating someone new.  You may be looking and waiting for the right person to show up.  Regardless of your situation, this book is for you!

In this book, you will discover red flags that your date, partner, or spouse may reveal.  Recognizing red flags can help you stop a relationship before it wrecks your life.  Walking away is easier early in the relationship, but leaving an abusive or highly toxic relationship is extremely important no matter how long you have been together.

This book aims to unveil toxic behaviors in relationships.  Not every red flag is a deal-breaker, especially if your partner is willing to communicate and work with you to improve the situation - but ignoring red flags can be downright dangerous, so this book will show you some troubling behaviors that should set off an alarm. Expert advice and research-backed data will help you with your tough decision.

Controlling behaviors are addressed- specifically coercive control.  The detrimental effect of coercive control is that you are isolated from family and friends and left at the mercy of an abuser.  Those using coercive control will monitor and interrogate you; limit your access to finances, ownership of property, and threaten violence.

Manipulative behaviors, specifically love-bombing, gaslighting, and future faking, are also red flags for toxic behaviors.  These behaviors are manipulation-based and they can be challenging to recognize while you are personally in a relationship.

Behaviors related to personality disorders and mood disorders can be severe, especially when the affected person isn't treated for the condition.  Extreme mood swings, splitting, and fears of abandonment are behaviors to watch for.

Narcissism and self-centered behaviors are rampant with relationship toxicity.   Lying, Triangulation, and disregarding boundaries are some of the behaviors of Narcissism.  

Addiction results in relationships suffering in a myriad of ways.  The self-destructive behaviors fueled by addiction talked about are lying, cheating, anger, and abuse.

Behaviors relating to trust issues that are red flags include a lack of transparency and infidelity.  Whether trust is lost because of cheating or because your partner seems to be hiding things, these red flags should not be ignored.

Effective communication is essential to all relationships.  Toxic signs to watch for are recurring relationship issues that are brushed under the rug, criticism, and treating a partner with contempt.

Paying attention to how your date treats others can show you their true self.  Are they rude to your server or bartender while you are out for drinks or food?  The Waiter Rule states that a person’s true character can be gleaned from how he/she treats staff or service workers, such as a waiter/waitress.  Taking note of how and why his/her past relationships ended is good information you can use when deciding on whether or not to enter into an intimate relationship.

If you don't have personality types in common or if your long-term goals conflict with one another, you may be setting yourself up for heartbreak.  Perhaps one of you is overly social, and the other is a homebody.  One of you could have a strong sex drive, and the other one is not interested in having sex, but only interested in spending quality time together.  These are red flags that should not be ignored.

Chapter 1: Introduction

Imagine that the next time you leave your house, you are guaranteed to meet your soulmate -not a hookup, but a best friend and companion to have beside you through all of life’s ups and downs.  You would breathe a sigh of relief, right?

Sadly, we all know life has no guarantees, especially regarding love and romance.  Sometimes a relationship seems absolutely perfect initially, but red flags start to show before too long and unfortunately, too many too-good-to-be-true relationships prove to be absolute train wrecks.

Meeting people online is a popular way to find a date, but it can be challenging to find someone that wants more than casual sex.  Do not despair!  There are lots of other people out there looking for someone to love too.  It takes time for you to cross paths with someone at the same place as you in life and that you connect with on a deeper level.  Patience is essential because you may meet many people interested in you who are not necessarily a good fit for you.  Knowing what characteristics, you are looking for in a partner and what to avoid will save you so much time and heartache. 

The first thing to remember is that no one is perfect.  Therefore, no relationship is perfect.  We are all a work in progress.  No matter how much we try, we can’t do everything right 100% of the time.  We should be allowed to make mistakes sometimes and our partners should be forgiving.

While it is true that none of us are perfect, it is also true that some people display toxic behaviors toward their partners that are detrimental.  There are a multitude of issues that arise in intimate relationships.  A couple that genuinely cares about each other can work out most problems.  Seeing a couple’s therapist can help too, especially if you have trouble communicating.  Sometimes not just one person, but both people in the relationship make it toxic.

When you first date someone new, it is easy to overlook problematic behaviors.  It feels more important to look deep into those dreamy eyes, run your fingers through that soft hair, and feel the touch of their warm skin against yours.  However, if you know what red flags to watch out for from the beginning, you will save yourself from abuse, a broken heart, and wasting years of your life on a dead-end relationship.

Ignoring red flags will have your heart broken multiple times and will cause you to be in multiple dysfunctional relationships before you find a suitable partner.  Wouldn’t you rather learn how to avoid those relationship pitfalls by learning from others that have been there before you?  It is much easier to end a relationship after a couple of months than when you are married with children 5 or 10 years later with emotions, family, and commitments that are intertwined between each other.

After the newness of a relationship dies down, the relationship’s stability will become more apparent.  Are you both showing respect toward one another, communicating well,