My Life of Grace: How I Found Hope and Purpose in Suffering

By Peter “Graceman” Le

Peter Le understands suffering.

His dramatic story begins in a childhood marked by polio and a flight from war-torn Vietnam as one of the thousands of “boat people” who immigrated to the United States in the 1980s. But Le says his greatest trial—and most profound joy—began in the fall of 2018 when he learned he had thyroid cancer.

In My Life of Grace, he offers a practical yet deeply personal exploration of redemptive suffering and how we can uniquely enter into the Passion of Christ by embracing our trials so we can persevere in grace and hope.

“The greatest grace that God can give someone is to send him a trial he cannot bear with his own powers—and then sustain him with his grace so he may endure to the end and be saved.”

Le says this quote attributed to St. Justin Martyr defines his life.

Throughout his continued battle with thyroid cancer—years of pain, multiple treatments, surgeries, medications, and visits to numerous doctors and cancer centers—Le’s confusion and hopelessness were overtaken by excitement, hope and awe. He realized that he was receiving God’s consolation.

Le considers himself blessed—and that’s why he calls himself “Graceman.”

Without glossing over the realities of his suffering, Le shares lessons he learned in the “school of suffering, including new life is possible in Christ, allowing us to share not only in the Cross but also in the glory of the Resurrection. He also challenges us to embrace our own pain as a conduit of grace.

The book includes a special novena to Our Lady of La Vang, the patroness of Vietnam, who consoles her children in their suffering.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ave Maria Press
• Release date: Sep 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9781646802586

Peter “Graceman” Le

Peter Le is a Vietnamese Catholic who is executive director and founder—with his wife, Dr. ThuHuong Trinh—of St. Joseph Primary Care, a nonprofit medical clinic that provides health care services in line with Church teaching. Born during the Vietnam War, Le came to the United States as a thirteen-year-old polio survivor among the “boat people” of the 1980s. Diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2018, Le has dedicated his life to sharing his story with those overwhelmed by suffering and hardship. Le earned a bachelor’s degree in computer engineering from the University of Houston in 1995. He previously worked as a software developer and IT analyst for Duke Cancer Institute and as a medical education specialist for Harvard Medical School. Le lives with his family in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Book preview

Suffering is present in everyone’s life, starting from as young as we can remember up to our last days. Many often seem to be bogged down by the immense weight of suffering, but Peter Le shares the lessons and joy that can be learned through such trials. He uses many stories from his life that explain how he used his faith and wisdom to have a new perspective on what suffering can bring. This book is a great source of direction and inspiration for those seeking to become better, more well-rounded individuals who are able to tackle any problem that life may present to them.

Fr. Hy Nguyen, PSS

Rector of Assumption Seminary

San Antonio, Texas

"Chock-full of tenderness, compassion, and lessons for the path of redemptive suffering, My Life of Grace is a true balm for anyone facing challenging moments along life’s journey. Le weaves personal vignettes with treasured Church teaching to accompany us with kindness and remind us of the hope we have in God’s never-ending love and nearness. Whether you’re facing hardship yourself, acting as a caregiver, or seeking to provide solace for a friend in a difficult phase of life, this book is the perfect companion."

Lisa M. Hendey

Author of The Grace of Yes

Le’s inspirational and powerful real-life stories of his journey as a refugee and survivor of cancer is a must-read for anyone who has ever struggled with pain, loss, illness, or doubt. It gives clarity and meaning to suffering, and it is a strong testament to the triumph of our Catholic faith in the face of unimaginable hardship. Readers, especially young people, will come to a greater understanding of God’s love, even in the darkest of times.

Young Hoang

President of the National Executive Committee

Vietnamese Eucharistic Youth Movement

We naturally fear suffering, yet there is a joy and meaning in suffering that the saints know better than anyone else. This joy comes when we learn the way of depending on God’s grace. In this book, filled with wisdom gained through his own redemptive suffering, Le shares his discovery of finding joy amid his many trials and painful realities. I believe this book will be a great encouragement and inspiration to each one of us who applies its wisdom; we too will become graced men and women.

Bob Schuchts

Author of Be Healed

Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, DC, and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

____________________________________

© 2023 by Peter Le

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, without written permission from Ave Maria Press®, Inc., P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556, 1-800-282-1865.

Founded in 1865, Ave Maria Press is a ministry of the United States Province of Holy Cross.

www.avemariapress.com

Paperback: ISBN-13 978-1-64680-257-9

E-book: ISBN-13 978-1-64680-258-6

Cover images © Getty Images, Unsplash, and Wikimedia Commons.

Cover and text design by Andy Wagoner.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

In memory of Fr. Philip M. Tighe,

a priest from the Diocese of Raleigh

1962–2020

Contents

Introduction

Part One: Call Me Graceman

Redemptive Suffering: To Be Sick for the Lord

My Early Story

Coming to America

United with Christ in His Passion and Glory

Part Two: The School of Suffering

Why Be Sick for the Lord?

Suffering as Penance

The Nails of Our Cross

Choose Joy

Silence Is Golden

Grace in Suffering

The Ecstasy of God’s Love

Song of Sorrow

When Temptation Comes

Part Three: The Gift of Suffering

Tears of Love

Act of Surrender

Facing Reality

The Way of Abandonment

Conversation with My Son

Battle Fatigue

When God Speaks Forgiveness

Suffering Is a Sign

Go to Our Lady of Sorrows

Becoming God’s Love Dumpster

The Blessing of Chronic Illness

The Desert of Redemptive Suffering

Part Four: The Way to New Life

The End of the Road

A New Kind of Love

Patience in Dying

Finishing the Race

A Miniature of Heaven

Part Five: The Gift of Consolation

History of Our Lady of Lavang

Novena to Our Lady of Lavang

Conclusion

Notes

Abouth the Author

Introduction

I received God’s consolation in my time of sickness; now, it’s my season and time to write about it. The central point of this book that I want to share with you, the reader, is that to experience this consolation is to move toward redemptive suffering.

To begin, I shall let my prayer rise before God like incense and make it known that Lord, the one you love is sick (Jn 11:3, New International Version). This is from the Gospel of John, when Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, inform Jesus that Lazarus, whom Jesus loves, is sick. Thus, I shall imitate Mary and Martha by writing these reflections and prayers to let Jesus know of my sufferings. In doing so, I come to discover a moment of grace. In this intimate time I open my heart and soul, clothe myself with a humble heart and contrite spirit, and gently whisper, Lord, it is I; the one you love is sick. In that moment, the spirit of God the Father’s grace comes to my assistance, enlightens my thinking, and transforms my way of life by emptying my old wineskins and pouring new wine into fresh wineskins. These moments of grace turn a sinner like me into a man who is truly Graceman.

As you continue to read this book, I hope you discover that the story of Graceman is yours too. I pray that you will continue to experience moments of grace as you turn and flip the pages of this book. And I pray that in each moment that you face adversity you will recognize God’s grace in you as well. With the gifts of the Holy Spirit, God helps us to overcome our afflictions. I hope this story will help you to encounter God’s consolation in your time of sorrow.

Part One

Call Me Graceman

The greatest grace that God can give [someone] is to send him a trial he cannot bear with his own powers—and then sustain him with his grace so he may endure to the end and be saved.

—St. Justin Martyr

This quote from St. Justin Martyr is a summary of my life. My greatest trial began in the fall of 2018. The oncologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill informed me that I had thyroid cancer and might have only six months to live. To have any hope of recovery, I needed to go through extensive surgery and countless tests and procedures.

And so, for the next four years, my body was in deep and constant pain, and all aspects of my life slowly broke down. I was living, yet I was also dying. I have traveled to five different cancer centers throughout the States for treatments, been seen by nearly three dozen oncologists, had two back-to-back surgeries, completed a monthlong course of radiation and chemotherapy, and taken a mountain of medications to keep my body alive. By the grace of God, I have endured the greatest trials—and yet I am blessed, for I received God’s consolation on my bed of pain. His helping hand has been my restoration from sickness to health, from mourning into dancing, and from weeping into laughter.

If you are reading this book, perhaps you understand this kind of suffering—what I like to call the school of suffering. If you struggle to see the purpose of your suffering or struggle to see it as a source of grace, then I invite you to keep reading. I pray that God will use my experience to help you encounter his grace.

In addition to the physical toll suffering takes on the body—including both the disease and the treatment itself, which are a kind of thorn in the flesh—our emotions often intensify the pain. Day and night, I have been bombarded with distress, deep pain, and sorrow. I have been forced to contemplate my own mortality and wonder how my death will affect my loved ones.

And yet, even on this level, I have experienced God’s consolation, mercy upon mercy, and grace upon grace. For this reason, I slowly realized that I have nothing to fear, not even death. I started to recognize the gift of grace in suffering and acknowledge the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit that moved me beyond my fear and toward understanding.

Despite taking a beating from this horrible thorn in my flesh, I am still living gracefully and joyfully. As for the remainder of my life, I shall ask Jesus and Our Lady for the grace that allows my wounded body to be its own source of grace for the salvation of myself and others. I am greatly blessed to have received God’s consolation in my sickness. These are not just words. This is a fact and testimony to the Gospel that he wounds, but he binds up; he strikes, but his hands give healing (Jb 5:18). I am profoundly grateful for the gift of life and to be able to