Race to the Finish Line: Social Dynamics in Retirement Communities

By Judith C. Kayloe

The majority of America's baby boomers as well as the silent generation are now seniors. Will we live our last years as gloriously as we lived our younger ones? We bounced through economic booms with panache, accumulating more and more symbols of the great life and realized our dreams with triumph. Our parents, most of whom, were born during the Great Depression or WWII had every hope that our blessed generation could enjoy success beyond their wildest dreams. And they did. Narcissism among our generation was fueled by parents who knew their progeny would advance farther than they could.

Explosions of education and frenetic activity happily coalesce from feelings of entitlement for getting it all in. For many of us, retirement has become one big return to hedonism.

We establish retirement communities and nursing homes and assisted living facilities where we ruminate with our contemporaries and recharge as best we can. This book explores factors that define our generation's approach to aging, dissects the characteristics of some of our retirement communities, and offers observations and insights that may be amusing, identifying, or useful.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887931043

Book preview

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Race to the Finish Line

Social Dynamics in Retirement Communities

Judith C. Kayloe, PhD

Copyright © 2023 Judith C. Kayloe, PhD

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2023

ISBN 979-8-89157-622-3 (pbk)

ISBN 979-8-88793-105-0 (hc)

ISBN 979-8-88793-104-3 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction: Our Race to the Finish Line

Chapter 1

Retirement Is New

Chapter 2

Here and Now

Bubbling Over

Chapter 3

How COVID-19 Changed Us

Chapter 4

Should We Race

Retirement Options

Chapter 5

Retirement Communities

Chapter 6

Stages of a Retirement Community

Chapter 7

The Character of a Community

Chapter 8

Making Sense of It All

Your Self

Chapter 9

Health

Chapter 10

Food for Hunger and Self-Regulation

Chapter 11

Healthful Eating Plan (HEP)

Chapter 12

Move More and Eat Less

Relationships and Sexuality

Chapter 13

The Personality Parade

Chapter 14

Who Listens?

Chapter 15

Unusual Dichotomy

Chapter 16

On Intimacy

Chapter 17

Going Solo

Some Nuisances or Issues that Affect Sanity

Chapter 18

Musings

Chapter 19

Another Formula

Reflections

Chapter 20

Life Review

Chapter 21

Rues and Regrets

Creative Departures

Chapter 22

Lifework

Chapter 23

Exit Letters

Chapter 24

The Final Chapter

Chapter 25

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

About the Author

To

My brother Donald whose extraordinary medical recovery and career contributions have made him an example of tenacity, intelligence, and altruism.

My grandson Manny whose sacrifice, hard work, and efforts helped publicize the plight of the courageous refugees in Ukraine.

Our caretaker Jamie whose education, warmth, and nursing efforts kept my husband alive for more years than we could imagine.

Thoughts

Life please linger. Let me undo any shame, bathe in minor triumphs, applaud my progeny, and amass myself in pleasure.

Preface

The final years of the war babies and baby boomers have arrived. Will we live our last years as gloriously as our earlier ones? We've bounced through economic booms with panache, accumulated more and more symbols of the great life and realized our dreams with triumph. Now, hit with a never-ending pandemic of huge proportions and unparalleled political divisiveness, can we weather the unexpected?

In the depression era and after World War II, parents had every expectation that our generation would be blessed with success. Narcissism was fueled by these parents, who expected that we would advance beyond their wildest dreams. We've enjoyed explosions of education and are now enjoying frenetic activity in an attempt to get it all in. Retirement for many has become a life of hedonism. Yet, for the first time in generations, our offspring will not necessarily excel past our accomplishments. Although proud and perhaps close, our children have moved halfway across the country leaving us to fend for ourselves. Or perhaps, we moved to complete our success stories with a grand finale. What happens when we're hit with the triple whammies of old age, a global ongoing pandemic, and political upheavals?

Our lives are all about striving. We form retirement communities and assisted living facilities that allow us to ruminate with contemporaries and recharge as best we can. It is interesting to see how most of us are living: Staying put, moving in with children, or moving to a more favorable climate—just some of the many options.

If we reside in a community, we seem to divide ourselves into subgroups based on activities, interests, and most of all, age groups which define our status. The healthy and active newly retired may form routines that bring excitement, joy, and contentment. The veteran retired seem to bond and thrive, and the long retired cope with age that may have caught up with them.

This book explores factors that typify and distinguish our generation's approach to aging. We provide observations and tips that may be amusing, identifying, and helpful.

Part 1

Introduction: Our Race to the Finish Line

The idea that the poor should have leisure has always been shocking to the rich.

—Bertrand Russell

Chapter 1

Retirement Is New

There is a tremendous amount written about the financial aspects of retirement but virtually nothing about its social challenges. Retirement is a new phenomenon. Can you imagine America before social security? No one (except the very wealthy) had the wherewithal to dream up the idea of retirement for the masses, no less do it.