There is a Light

By Lindy Morison

Abandoned

Orphaned

Manipulated

Gay

It was no wonder that I became rebellious and resentful. Standing up to all these pressures in my life and faced with my grandmother’s mortality, I reverted to the frightened child I thought I had left behind. I was overcome with anxiety and panic attacks; that paralysed me to the point of contemplating suicide.

The years of abandonment and feelings of futility following my childhood institutionalisation and the early death of my mother from a lifelong illness, manifested themselves in highly emotional and physical ways that made it impossible for me to function in society – so I withdrew.

From within this debilitating experience, I had to find a way through by obtaining the professional help I needed. This is my story of tenacity to live my life with the freedom to make my own decisions.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Sep 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9781398497849

Lindy Morison

Lindy was born in Perth, WA in the late 1950s and was educated in WA. She spent her early working life in aged care before changing careers to fulfil her love of cricket. A move to start her own gardening business lasted several years before shifting into the hospitality industry. Lindy lived as an expatriate in Laos and China for several years; then returned to WA and hospitality in a coastal tourist town. Lindy is now semi-retired and resides in rural WA with her partner and furry friends.

Book preview

Family

My Mother

As a young child growing up in the suburb of Subiaco, Perth, Western Australia my relationship with my mother was that of fun and laughter, with discipline when needed. She was always there for me, if I fell off my bike or just fell over and skinned my knees. Being a primary school teacher she had softness about her, she was very much liked, not only by her fellow teachers but also by her students.

In my first year of school, Mum noticed that I was having difficulty learning and had myself tested from another friend of her who was a principle of a primary school. They diagnosed that I had dyslexia and I was lucky there was a primary school in Perth that specialised in children who suffered dyslexia. After a few weeks, I found myself heading off to a brand new school. I had normal classes with all the other children at the school, but also had special classes with my remedial teacher. Mum would often give me lessons at home to try to improve my reading and writing, but later when Mum died and I went to live with Nan, the special lessons no longer occurred.

The form of dyslexia I suffered was placing my D and B back to front and when reading from a book I would see different words other than the ones written and I also had no comprehension of what I was reading. By the time I left primary school I had learnt to distinguish B from D. Writing cheques was a problem. I always had a feeling of anxiety and it could take ages to talk myself into picking up the pen, especially if someone was watching. This has been quite debilitating for me over my years and always felt very ashamed and embarrassed but I managed.

Mum loved to tell jokes and also play jokes on family and friends, and especially on me. One time she told me there was a lovely surprise for me in our letterbox, so as an eight-year-old child, I ran a fast as I could to see what the postman had brought me. I opened the lid of the letterbox and to my amazement, there staring me in the face was this huge, ugly, hairy huntsman spider. Well I brought the whole of the neighbourhood down with my screaming. I felt a sense of fear run through my body. Since that day I have never been able to look a huntsman in the eyes again. I don’t know if I was more upset with Mum because of the spider or because there wasn’t really a present for me in the letterbox.

We both loved music and we would play records for hours. I remember our first two records we ever bought together were The Seekers and The Sound of Music albums; we played those records to death. The Carnival is Over was the song that always got Mum crying. Sometimes I would just laugh at Mum for being so sentimental. When my father was away working, my mother and I would go for a drive to the beach. With excitement I would run down to the beach as fast as I could, feeling the sand between my toes and the fresh air on my face. This is what being a child is all about. Sometimes the weather wasn’t kind and it would be drizzling and cold, but who cares, I would play in the sand for as long as I was permitted. The second best part about our little drive was the ice cream that we both had to have before we left for home. Mum had me sussed when it came to buying chocolate bars and lollies as she would always choose the one that I didn’t like, so she could have hers all to herself. Mum was a fun and loving person and always took great delight pulling faces and teasing me. Mum was a very tender person and put other people’s feelings first, but at the same time she would tell it to you straight.

Easter times at my grandmother’s house were full of fun, with Mum placing Easter eggs in the front hedge and my cousins and I would enjoy going through the hedge to find our chocolate eggs. We would end up being scratched on our arms from this rather woody plant, but who cared; we were off finding chocolate eggs to eat. Birthday times were always fun too as Mum would put on a lavish little party for me with my cousins and a few close friends. I think deep down Mum knew that we may not have too many birthdays left together, so she made sure each one was a little bit special. We would have streamers decorating the table, cupcakes, balloons, whistles and party games which were my favourite.

We had so much fun that I wished everyday was my birthday. I felt very special on my birthday, because that was my day and no one else’s. On

Reviews for There is a Light

[john morison · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wonderful insight into a very special person's difficult life and how she carried on with grace and strength through unbelievable adversity. Very inspirational person.