The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised] [again]

By Adam Long

Originally performed by its creators, this 1987 Edinburgh Fringe hit remains the second longest-running West End comedy in history and has been translated into over thirty languages. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) is not so much a play as it is a vaudeville show in which three charismatic, wildly ambitious actors attempt to present all thirty-seven of Shakespeare's plays in a single performance. They have a rudimentary concept of the stories and have imperfectly memorized a smattering of famous lines. Backstage there's a meager assortment of costumes and props. Thus armed, the three brazenly launch into their task with an earnest focus and breakneck enthusiasm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: RowmanLittlefield
• Release date: Oct 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9781493077311

Book preview

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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

(abridged) [revised] [again]

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

(abridged) [revised] [again]

Adam Long, Daniel Singer, and Jess Winfield

edited by Jess Winfield

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Essex, Connecticut

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An imprint of Globe Pequot, the trade division of

The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

4501 Forbes Blvd., Ste. 200

Lanham, MD 20706

www.rowman.com

Distributed by NATIONAL BOOK NETWORK

Copyright ©1987, 1996, 2011, 2023 by Adam Long, Daniel Singer, and Jess Winfield

Revisions copyright ©2007, 2023 by Jess Winfield and Daniel Singer

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, without written permission, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.

The live stage rights to this work are controlled exclusively by Broadway Play Publishing Inc, without whose permission in writing no performance of it may be given. Royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation. Royalty must be paid every time a play is performed whether or not it is presented for profit and whether or not admission is charged. A play is performed anytime it is read or acted before an audience. All inquiries concerning live stage rights should be addressed to Broadway Play Publishing Inc at www.broadwayplaypub.com or [e-mail].

For all other rights, please contact Paradigm Talent Agency, ATTN: Jonathan Mills, 810 Seventh Avenue, Suite 205, New York, NY 10019. 212.897.6400. Fax [phone]. [e-mail].

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Long, Adam, author. | Singer, Daniel, author. | Winfield, Jess, author, editor.

Title: The complete works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised] [again] / by Adam Long, Daniel Singer, and Jess Winfield ; edited by Jess Winfield.

Other titles: Complete works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised]

Description: Second edition. | Essex, Connecticut : Applause, 2023. | Revision of the author’s The complete works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised]

Identifiers: LCCN 2023033544 (print) | LCCN 2023033545 (ebook) | ISBN 9781493077298 (paperback) | ISBN 9781493077311 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616--Adaptations. | LCGFT: Drama.

Classification: LCC PR2879 .L66 2023 (print) | LCC PR2879 (ebook) | DDC 822.3/3—dc23/eng/20230807

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023033544

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023033545

frn_fig_004 The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

This Second Edition is dedicated to the memory of First Edition editor Professor J. M. Winfield, who was merely a figment of an author’s fevered imagination and therefore untenured

Also, to Sa Winfield

Contents

Cover

Half Title

Title

Copyright

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

Editor’s Preface to the First Edition

Editor’s Preface to the Second Edition

Publisher’s Preface to the Foreword to the Authors’ Notes

Foreword to the Authors’ Notes

Authors’ Notes

Afterword to the Authors’ Notes

Reader’s Note

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)

Appendix A: A Note on the Text

Appendix B: A Page from William Shakespeare’s Diary

Appendix C: The Complete Works (abridged) and Critical Consensus: Comic Genius or Whoopee Cushions with Legs?

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

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Guide

Cover

Half Title

Title

Copyright

Dedication

Contents

Start of Content

Appendix A: A Note on the Text

Appendix B: A Page from William Shakespeare’s Diary

Appendix C: The Complete Works (abridged) and Critical Consensus: Comic Genius or Whoopee Cushions with Legs?

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

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Introduction

It is part of a long and hallowed tradition when publishing Shakespeare’s works to have a famous Shakespearean actor, director, or other literary giant of the day compose an introduction to the collection. In an effort to keep that tradition alive, the authors sent an enquiry to the most acclaimed Shakespearean writer/director of our age, Mr.¹ Kenneth Branagh.

Surprisingly, Mr. Branagh did not reply.²

The authors then briefly considered asking Sir Ian McKellan, Sir Laurence Olivier, or Sir John Gielgud to contribute the introduction, but couldn’t remember which of the three were alive, which dead, and which nearly dead,³ and so decided to give it a miss. Taking another tack, the authors thought that, since Shakespeare is forever bound in history’s remembrance with the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, perhaps her modern namesake, Queen Elizabeth II, would care to introduce this contemporary edition of Elizabethan drama.

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The authors were disappointed to find that the British Royal Family has become so insular that they no longer answer even the rare nice letters like this one.⁴ Perhaps an American icon would be more receptive to the task of writing the Introduction?

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Obama, in an expression of the play’s outsized influence on the literal world stage, promptly responded—although he took this editor’s (perhaps awkwardly worded) request too literally.

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No matter. The conclusion to be drawn here is that the timeless works of William Shakespeare need no introduction. Their genius speaks for itselves.

Or will, after a few grammatically impeccable prefatory notes by the esteemed editor, the publisher, and the authors of this book.

Footnotes

1 ‘Mr. Kenneth Branagh’; in 1993, the actor/director/producer had not yet changed his first name to ‘Sir.’ [NOTE: With a few obvious exceptions, the text to this front matter is that of the first edition; glosses in the footnotes will, as here, explicate important changes.]

2 ‘did not reply’; nor did Branagh reply to this updated letter, likely because we never addressed, stamped, or mailed it.

3 ‘nearly dead’; by chance, we hit upon their status vis-a-vis the mortal coil with reasonable accuracy in 1993, except that Sir John lived nearly another seven years. We sincerely hope that Sir Ian lasts much, much longer, as there are many Lord of the Rings sequels yet to be made, featuring material in which Gandalf [checks notes . . .] does not appear.

4 ‘letters like this one’; QE II joined Olivier and Gielgud in the Undiscover’d Country during the preparation of this new edition. We of course considered sending a similar letter to King Charles III, but demurred due to the possibility that he might be so desperate for attention and validation as to agree.

Editor’s Preface to the First Edition

It is with hearty concupiscence and much balneal flatulence that I welcome you, humble reader, to this tome. In the quaternian centuries twixt the maternal parturition of the Swan of Stratford-upon-Avon and these latter days of cultural gavage, many an editor has entrumpassed the gargantuan task of entombing these greatest of all manifestations of the Melopmenean muse: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. It is a burden I have shouldered with superciliousness and fustian sesquipedality. In short: I have tried to keep it simple.

In preparing the Shakespearean text for this book, I have found the Cambridge, Riverside, and Oxford Complete Works texts, the highly respected Temple Notes (as revised by Professor Oeufpate), Mr. Kermode’s Four Centuries of Shakespearian Criticism, and especially Caroline Spurgeon’s seminal article, Shakespeare’s Iterative Imagery, to be completely useless. In fact, I have used no books, articles, reference works, or research materials of any kind in preparing the text. I haven’t even read a book for several years now, but I have an over-achieving thesaurus program⁵ on my Macintosh that spews out a half-dozen five-syllable synonyms for fart at the click of a button, so why even bother improving my intellect? I spend most of my time watching public access programming and Beavis and Butthead on late-night television, wishing that they were showing more live female mud wrestling instead. Sure, I was an English Lit major once, but my life since then has been an intellectual cul-de-sac. I got so burned out reading all 465 zillion cantos of Edmund Spenser’s goddamn Faerie Queene in three coffee-bloated sleepless nights in college that just the mention of English Literature these days quite literally makes me want to throw up.

But I digress.

Since the initial compilation of Shakespeare’s plays appeared as the First Folio of 1623, there have been some 652 published editions⁶ of the Bard’s complete works.

What possible justification can there be, you ask, for this new volume?

To which I reply: It’s much, much shorter.

While Shakespeare is unquestionably the greatest playwright ever to doctor a dactyl, any ninth grader will tell you that he simply used too many words. As Polonius so punctiliously posits, Brevity is the soul of wit (Hamlet II.ii.97 or so). This edition is the first to wholeheartedly acknowledge and embrace that axiomatic fact. Whereas the Oxford Complete Works runs to some 1,258,762 words,⁷ this slim opuscule contains only 23,266 words⁸ and some pretty pictures. The authors and I have expunged much of Shakespeare’s subtle psychological insight, his carefully spun subplots, and his well-honed social satire, and skipped right to the sex and killing. What joy to rediscover the ample amphigory of Mercutio’s meretriciousness, the obstreperous callithump of Hotspur’s hectoring, or the importunate innocence of Imogen’s ingenuousness without encountering the execrable effluvium of editorial excess!

To this approach, if I may speak prosopopeially, and I think that I may, Shakespeare himself would say, Excellent swell!

We hope this work succeeds in its Atlantean endeavor: to transcend the bibliomaniac bombast of the pedagogue and reveal the simple beauty of the Bard. May reading this book always bring you

Reviews for The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised] [again]

[aliceanna-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is one of the funniest plays I've ever read. Monty Python and the Marx Brothers meet Wm. Shakespeare. I think you'll get along quite nicely!

[the1213 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Extremely hilarious. The script is almost every bit as funny as the show is live, and the multitude of outrageous footnotes makes this a book worth reading even for someone who has seen the play before.

[meggyweg · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was a real side-splitter -- I found myself laughing maniacally every couple of pages. It would be even funnier to see this performed. I plan to buy the DVD and also read the Reduced Shakespeare Company's other plays. Highly recommended!

[unreachableshelf · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Although the script may be even more hilarious in performance than when read, it is worthwhile to read the script as well and enjoy all of the introductions and footnotes provided.

[joshenglish_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The play itself is hilarious, and the script they've put together is even funnier. It is just as enjoyable to read as it is to watch, even after you've seen a couple of productions.