Losing my Identity

By Maggie Matthews

Losing My Identity is a moving and impactful story of a mother and her two children showing courage, strength and determination. Surviving a  Domestic Violenece situation of abuse and violence towards the mother and her son.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sweetspire Literature Management LLC
• Release date: Oct 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781960861757

Book preview

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Copyright © 2023 Maggie Matthews

Paperback: 978-1-960861-74-0

eBook: 978-1-960861-75-7

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023919249

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my children who I love very much and am so proud of.

Contents

Chapter 1: The Perfect Family

Chapter 2: The Beginning of the End

Chapter 3: The Separation

Chapter 4: One Year Later

Chapter 5: Being Held Hostage

Chapter 6: Being Escorted Through the Night

Chapter 7: Refuge No 1

Chapter 8: Refuge No 2

Chapter 9: No Going Back

Chapter 10: New Beginnings

Chapter 1

The Perfect Family

O

n the outside,

we were the perfect family. We had everything any family could wish for. Two beautiful children and a life to die for!

Maggie and Lewis Matthews, and our two children, Luke age thirteen and Lucy age eight.

We managed our own successful roofing business, lived in a brand new house in the country in a quiet and beautiful location, our dream home. We also owned two properties abroad, which we used a couple of times of year or more if we had the time. We both drove new cars, cars of our choice and our children never wanted for anything. Our life was so good. We were all happy, healthy and wealthy and our life was perfect in every way.

At the time, Lewis was working on a number of different contracts and would employ people to work under him with each new project, as our business was expanding and growing with new clients.

What more could our family possibly want? Like I said, from the outside we had everything, and people used to say how lucky I was to live in such a beautiful home and be part of such a beautiful family.

It was the perfect life, lived by the perfect family. Lewis worked very hard putting in long hours into the business, sometimes working six days a week, and always available at the end of a phone.

Meanwhile, I would manage the administration side of the business, booking in appointments, doing the accounts and dealing new contracts. Sometimes Lewis would work away on new developments and keeping an eye on the projects local to us.

I would try to manage them as much as I could while still doing the administration side, looking after the children and running the home.

When Lewis was at home, he always made time for Lucy and Luke, as family time was premium. We played golf, went camping. We especially loved our holidays abroad, which we took at least twice a year, one in the winter, and one in the summer. Had weekends away in a caravan, depending on the work schedule. We worked hard, and we played hard.

Eventually success and hard work took its toll on Lewis’s health, he became exhausted and stressed. I suggested he took on part -time site manager to work with him and support him, but he always claimed to enjoy the buzz of business and living on the edge, being in complete control. Not trusting anyone enough to manage the business, while he had some time out.

He wouldn’t trust anyone with the business he had worked so hard for. He would maintain the reputation he had built up over time so successfully.

His business was his pride and joy which he built from scratch with hard work, perseverance and endurance.

Lewis would come home exhausted, with flu-like symptoms saying his whole body ached from head to toe.

He suffered from tension headaches and was feeling mentally low. This was not Lewis, I was worried that would burn himself out.

He eventually and begrudgingly went to the doctor’s and was advised to rest because of exhaustion.

The doctor thought Lewis was burnt out on every level, both mentally and physically. He needed to get away to have a break from working around the clock.

His body was telling him to slow down, but he wouldn’t listen. Lewis took just one weekend to rest and went back to work on the Monday like nothing had happened, despite still not feeling himself. He would not listen and thought he was indispensable. I felt angry with him, as he would not listen.

I didn’t understand why he didn’t realise that looking after his health was premium.

I noticed the change in him; the stress was taking its toll on him, and it started to effect our family life.

Lewis became agitated, irritable, angry, and short-tempered. He had no tolerance or patience with our children and would lose his temper at the slightest thing.

His mood swings were becoming more obvious and more frequent.

I was trying to understand and be patient, but I was feeling frustrated that he couldn’t see that he was changing.

His body language told me he was constantly tired and tense. I suggested that he rest and have a day off during the week. He was stubborn, and he knew best. I kept saying that if he doesn’t look after himself, he won’t be able to work at all. His behavior was not normal, and I suggested he went back to the doctors. He said they were a waste of time and he was too busy.

I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t stop, the business was successful, and we had a good team of employees.

Lewis was becoming depressed on every level but would not accept help from me or anyone else.

We argued as he was being so stubborn and not putting us first by not looking after himself.

I just couldn’t understand his behaviour or attitude.

He was changing, and I didn’t know what the cause was.

Behind closed doors, our home was once a happy and loving place to be but became a very different place from the haven that everyone imagined.

The atmosphere was tense and argumentative.

It was sometimes a place of fear and uncertainty, we were constantly walking on eggshells. Not knowing what mood he was in and always trying to keep the peace and the children quiet as he was always so stressed. It was like he had the whole world on his shoulders and no one to share it with. But that wasn’t the case, he had a good family and friends for support. Lewis would not listen and kept saying he was ok. He was not ok, and neither was I. I was trying to keep the peace and while trying to keep the children occupied. Lewis could not see the impact it was having on the children or