Running from Spiders

By Xaviera Robertson

Running from Spiders is a heartfelt, honest, and clear look at what enduring, and recovering from, childhood abuse is like. 

This series of personal letters and essays wasn't originally intended for public consumption, but as a personal therapeutic tool for the author. She decided to publish her stories in

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xaviera Robertson
• Release date: May 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798985648744

Book preview

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Introduction

Over the past few years I’ve been slowly writing about my early life. As you’ll learn, my writing started as a therapeutic tool to help get thoughts and memories out of my mind. I was surprised by the relief I felt by sharing my thoughts in writing with only an audience of one in mind, me.

Putting my thoughts in a safe place outside of my body helped release some emotional pressure. I have shared a couple of my letters in support groups and received feedback that my writing was impactful. A few people said it helped provide a voice to their struggles. Being moved by this feedback, I decided to open my story to the world. I also wanted to share my experiences with therapy and the resources that helped me through this trauma.

It’s my hope that readers and listeners who have survived child abuse and neglect find some amount of healing and self-love. For those who had a solid childhood foundation or have the fortune to walk through life without mental health issues, I hope you discover a newfound appreciation, grace, and respect for those who struggle to endure life.

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Table of Contents

A Breakthrough Crisis

Letter to my Abusers

Motherless

Fatherless

Brotherly Love

Evil Stepmother

Grandfathered

On the Other Side of Therapy

Life with C-PTSD

References & Resources

Book Details

Written by Xaviera Robertson

Self-Published 2023

Copyright 2023

ISBN 979-8-9856487-4-4

Book Images

Images in this book were created by Deep AI using

terminology from the letters and essays.

A Breakthrough Crisis

In late January of 2021, I received an email informing me that my grandpa had died. The news punched me in the stomach and I started to sob. Not because his death was unexpected or he was my dear sweet grandpa—it was sadly, because he was one of my primary abusers. Because of the abuse I endured, his death was a breakthrough crisis for me.

As an exercise to process my feelings and emerging flashbacks triggered by his death my therapist suggested several exercises including writing an honest eulogy. Not anything to be read at his funeral—if I chose to attend—something just for me. A place outside of my body to hold what was going on in my mind, and relieve me of the thoughts that haunted me. I didn’t attend the funeral, because I would have to face two of my other abusers. Instead of attending the funeral, I used the funeral leave I had scheduled to write the eulogy.

Having found some healing and self-love, I look out into the world with kinder eyes.

Sitting down to write the eulogy I