Are You For Real?: Imposter Syndrome, the Bible, and Society

By Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder

Are You for Real? is a groundbreaking work that places imposter syndrome, the Bible, and society at the same table. In this project Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder addresses the shadow of facade and fake feeling that pervade not only women, but men and non-binary persons in various ways. Matters of racism, sexism, classism, and gender come to the forefront as the author engages imposter syndrome through the lens of biblical texts. While much work on imposter syndrome situates itself in corporate environments, Buckhanon Crowder expands such professional boundaries to include religious contexts and the public square in general. Study questions at the end of each chapter provide space for both individual and institutional reflection on manifestations of imposter syndrome.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cascade Books
• Release date: Sep 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9781666718065

Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder

Stephanie Buckhanon Crowder, a Baptist and Disciples of Christ minister, is Assistant Professor of Theological Field Education and New Testament and Director of the ACTS DMin in Preaching program at Chicago Theological Seminary. A regular blogger for The Huffington Post, she has contributed to numerous publications and served on the editorial board for Feasting on the Gospels series by Westminster John Knox Press. She frequently speaks on the Bible and motherhood and is the mother of two sons.

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Introduction: When the Questioning Began

I thought I knew, but then I did not know. I was so sure, and then one question shattered my certainty. I wanted this opportunity, needed this opportunity. All it took was an under-the-breath remark, a side-eye glance, to make me second-guess. Mind you. I am far from a fragile being. I am not one to cower in any corner or back away from a fight. Wolf tickets and I do not make for bed fellows. Yet, I was in a new role. Although I had the skill set, training, and experience with degrees to testify, I was uneasy. I was in a new city and away from my family. Whereas in a familiar setting, the novelty of the position met my learning curve and had a conversation with hateration. Then, the wondering began. Can I? Am I? Is this really right? What did she/he/they mean by that? Perhaps this is not the best path? Maybe I am not as prepared as I thought? Do you think I need a refresher course?¹

With amazement and pain I sat and listened as my more than capable friend described her struggles in a new position. She had just been promoted CFO at a company where she had more than paid her dues. Her resume is prolific and polished. She knows the language of expenditures, assets, forecasting, and revenue. Financial management and budgeting are oxygen to her. Yet, a microaggression here, a snide remark there had made her question the greatness she really did not have to prove.

That is what imposter syndrome (IS) is. It will take credentials and drop them on their head. Imposter syndrome mocks one’s qualifications, making achievement as fodder in a comedy show. The PhD is just piled high dung. The JD is a junk derelict. The MD is a mindless dope dealer. The BA is full of bull and air. The high school graduate has got to be kidding. No matter the professional mountains scaled, imposter syndrome proclaims, "Not enough. Not good enough. Any parental overtures are insufficient. Acts of service require more skin in the game. Imposter syndrome stands in the public square screaming, Is that all?" when most have given their last.

My interest in imposter syndrome was piqued at the unraveling of another case of racial facade in the academy. Surely no one would dare duplicate the Rachel Dolezal debacle of 2015. Recall she is a white woman who pretended to be Black. With adopted Black children in tow, the former African studies professor and Spokane NAACP chapter president doubled down in her narrative of identifying as Black.² The same year, Andrea Smith, professor of ethnic studies at University of California, faced questions about her supposed Cherokee heritage.³

Five years later three more instances of race faking surfaced. The death of H. G. Hache Carrillo from COVID-19 spurred revelations from his family that the professor turned famed novelist was not Afro-Cuban, but a Black American born in Detroit. His real name was Glenn Carroll.⁴ George Washington University professor Jessica Krug, a white woman, faked Black and in some instances Afro-Latinx identity her entire academic career. No sooner than the public could clutch its pearls from Krug’s story, news of University of Wisconsin-Madison PhD student CV Vitolo-Haddad and their race duplicity made for putrid air. Vitolo-Haddad is Italian.⁵ Turns out 2020 was a pandemic on various levels.

I realize someone pretending to be another person or a member of another race is one type of imposter. An individual wrestling with their own accomplishment is imposter syndrome. With the latter a person questions their own reality and the content of their professional reservoir. The former instance is blatant deceit and facade in which an individual steals from another group. In one case the person has achieved—honestly. In the other prevaricating pretension is the path towards academic or professional prowess.

Both imposter positioning and imposter syndrome are a type of inner turmoil. In a world riveted with racism where Black people are killed for sport, who dares to pretend to have race cred with this group? Black women get killed smoking in their own cars and sleeping in their beds. Black men risk life and limb going for a run in broad daylight, exchanging a twenty dollar bill, and, yes, sitting in their own apartment eating ice cream. Who dares to pretend to align with us? The stories of Krug, Carillo, and Smith made me wonder why any non-Black person wants to fake Blackness. Yes, there is greatness beyond measure in our race. No doubt. However, America is quick to remind Black people of the problems we have created and the conundrum of our existential reality. The narrative is that white women do not have to pretend or prove proficiency as they automatically get a pass per se. The Amandas, Beckys, Susans, Rachels, and Jessicas are presumed innocent and right without inquiry or second glance. The systemic advantages garnered them thrive on systematic racist moves. Why would anyone risk being one of us?

I posit that there is a correlation between imposter syndrome and the manifestation of imposters in society at large. Doubts about accomplishments, tugs of not good enough can be harbingers to facade living. Dare I surmise that questions about achievement loom so large leading seekers to misguided wells of solution. Truth is I am no psychologist. I am not sure if what I have proffered could withstand any psychological or psychiatric theoretical deduction. I really could not care less why Krug, Carillo, and Smith did it; yet, I am curious nonetheless. There must be some degree of uncertainty about one’s own self and self-worth to live a lie, for a long time—in the public square.

The converse is quite appealing. Research shows that Black women toil with imposter syndrome more than any other racial or gender group. Proceeding chapters will address this. Ironically one does not hear stories of Black women pretending to be white, Asian, Native American, or Latina in the academy or anywhere. Yes, occasionally we do things in the workplace which do little to advance the cause and seem to appease white guilt. Contexts as the first or the only one do not make for hospitable houses. When there are few or no models in an environment, people have to create their own paradigm while being their own models. Dwelling in an intra-dyadic existence the student has to be both learner and educator, advisee and advisor, mentee and mentor. Yet, records note going out on the racial limb in the academy and daring to rest on the branch of Blackness is something white women do.

There is an apparent fringe benefit and attraction to Black culture that some people dare to live what is not their truth. To discount one’s own racial and ethnic identity for Black appropriation is almost laughable. I say again there is preeminence to boot in this history and present of my people. However, there is much situational and personal irony that an individual who through sheer presence has a sociological, racial, political, economic, and educational advantage