The Tapestry of Truth: A Life Unveiled

By John-Philip S da Rocha

About the book

Simon, a middle-aged actor, receives a shocking phone call that turns his world upside down. The message reveals that his long-lost biological father, Pete

• Language: English
• Publisher: WRITE AND RELEASE PUBLISHING LTD
• Release date: Nov 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9781960764287

Book preview

Introduction

Simon, a middle-aged actor, who lost his parents long ago, received an explosive phone call one day. He was totally shocked by the news. He learned that apparently, his biological father called Peter was still alive. From that moment on, Simon’s life changed drastically. He embarks on a journey of the past that begins in Canada.

Who had lied to him, and why? ...or better said, why did everybody hide the truth? And who knew about those secrets in the family or in the circle of friends?

That was the first thing that came to his mind.

For the first time, he met his biological father Peter, and his ‘new’ family members. Together with Peter’s estranged wife, Anita, he explored the background of his hidden truth that has been going on for over four decades through letters, pictures, postcards, and conversations. They travel back in time and put together the puzzle that seems to be Simon’s life. For most of his life, he was full of doubt and confusion. It was always going through his mind that some things did not make any sense, but he never had an explanation until he found out who his biological father was. After they had met in Canada, a few weeks later, Anita had gone to Munich to go with Simon on a road trip to visit places that belonged to Peter’s past, which were located in Austria and Bavaria.

For Simon, it was a time of heaven and hell. The oppressed and hidden talents have come to life, and he is very well aware of his plan to tell his life story. He had flown to Brazil, where his mother’s family resided, where he always felt very comfortable. He hoped that there, he could start to live his life with a new awareness. The beginning would be to summarize all his memories and experiences, which he had taped and written down for a book over the last six months. Maybe this story will be eye-opening for some readers, expand their knowledge, and change some perceptions. It certainly did it for Simon.

A Note from Simon to the Reader:

I want to express my sincere gratitude for choosing to embark on this journey with me. Your interest in my story means the world to me, and for a long time, I hesitated to put my experiences into words. However, I couldn’t ignore the intriguing story that unfolded before me—a story of two men entwined with one woman and the resulting product, a son who outlasted them all.

My journey through life has taken me through a complex maze of emotions and uncertainties. I find myself missing my mother dearly, and the mysteries surrounding my paternal lineage have left me bewildered at times. Yet, as the fog of confusion lifts, I believe clarity will eventually find its way to me.

I want to emphasize that I’m just an ordinary individual, much like countless others out there. Life is filled with complexities, and we all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies. What truly matters, I’ve come to realize, is the presence of a safe and loving home, and in my case, I’ve been blessed to have had all the opportunities that come with growing up in a stable environment, shielded from the horrors of war and violence. We had enough to eat, the means to explore the world, and most importantly, a loving family. Family and honesty are the cornerstones of my life. Blessed with good health and a dash of good looks, I was ready to tackle life head-on, though I admit I can be a bit moody and, at times, a bit of a lazy cat. But hey, who isn’t a little complicated, right?

As you immerse yourself in the pages of this book, you’ll find some sections filled with facts and figures, while others reveal a more vulnerable and tender side of me. Life’s story is a complex tapestry, often marked by struggles—starting from the fierce competition of sperm cells racing to the egg, to the quest for love, career, and success. And in the end, it all culminates in the great unknown, where a bright light and a warm feeling are followed by darkness.

Perhaps it begins anew as something as humble as a mosquito. Who can say for sure? Until that moment arrives, let’s make a pact to be kind, to steer clear of conflicts and wars, and to relish every moment life offers us.

Lastly, let’s join hands in preserving the Amazon Rainforest, kick bad habits like smoking and excessive alcohol consumption, and cherish the gift of life.

Thank you for sharing this adventure with me.

Kindly, Simon

P.S Let’s protect the well-being of our environment as a whole.

Be kind!

-Vision after I finished the book-

In the vision that unfolded after completing the book, I found myself standing at the entrance of a grand, elongated hallway. The ceiling soared high above with two magnificent chandeliers suspended, casting a soft, inviting glow. The walls were adorned in gentle pastel hues, their edges rounded, and ample natural light streamed in through expansive windows to the left. The atmosphere exuded comfort and sophistication, reminiscent of an upscale setting.

As I strolled further into this splendid room, my gaze fell upon a diverse assembly of individuals. Some faces were instantly recognizable, while others bore a sense of familiarity. Among the crowd, I encountered both known and unknown faces, each weaving a unique narrative.

To the left, my Austrian grandfather stood resplendent in his military tank uniform, a testament to his storied past. Nearby, a young Peter reclined on a sofa, calmly puffing on a pipe, while a youthful Anita sat beside him, holding a thoughtful gift basket.

Across from them, my grandmother Dorel enjoyed a moment of tranquility, sipping tea and gazing thoughtfully out the window. My father, Harold, stood firmly with crossed arms, his demeanor hinting at a solemn reflection.

In the corner to my left, my mother, Daryanna, radiated a warm smile, her lustrous black hair cascading gracefully. She sat in a pristine white ensemble, sporting Ray Ban Aviators, and occupied a chair with an air of elegance. Nearby, a mysterious cousin donned a green army jacket, softly muttering phrases.

Further along, Daryanna’s friend, Clara, perched on a stool, leaned in, and greeted me cheerfully, a glass of Champagne in hand. And to my right, my Brazilian grandparents, resplendent in their elegant attire, exuded an air of festivity, as if celebrating a wedding.

In this surreal moment, all eyes were fixed on me as I made my entrance, and the room seemed to hold its collective breath in anticipation.

Amar e tudo, Love is all.

One day in retrospect, the years of struggle

will strike you as the most beautiful.

- Sigmund Freud

Chapter 1

Sunny Day in May

It began in Munich on a sunny day in May. Simon, a middle -a ged actor, had started his day as usual with a routine one -h our walk through the beautiful park around the corner of his apart ment.

As always he imagined having a dog one day, a puppy, maybe a Labrador or a Golden Retriever. Or a Street-dog, just a companion, because he was starting to feel alone for while now.

As he returned home, he noticed that he was down in the dumps. He made himself an espresso and lay down on his bed, hoping to feel better soon. He stared at the ceiling, and all of a sudden all kinds of different thoughts cluttered his mind. It surprised him because usually he was a very organized person who liked to stay focused and did not jump all over the place. He closed his eyes and tried to sort out what was floating through his mind.

His parents, dad Harold and mom Daryanna had three children. Daryanna died suddenly at the age of thirty-five and he was only two and a half years old at that time. He had no memories of his life with his mother, only of his life without her. Her death had left a deep dark hole within him. It was never filled by anyone for the rest of his life. His dad never remarried and raised three children on his own. He died when Simon was twenty-nine years old. During the time that he was growing up, he never had a close connection to anybody who was around him. No one was interested in his feelings and thoughts. At an early age, he noticed the difference between his siblings and the other children around him and he thought something was wrong with him, that he was a fiasco, a faux pas. From time to time, Simon asked himself now and then, what his life would have been like growing up under his mother’s care. He imagined playing with wooden blocks on the floor as they were building houses. She looked at him lovingly with her big dark eyes. Growing up without a mother left him with a lot of unanswered questions. Suddenly, his cell phone rang and he moved into the real world again. His agent told him that there was a strange email talking about family issues. Just send it over, and I look into it

Simon responded. He was expected to hear something about a role either in a TV Series or in a movie. Maybe a Casting.

Then, he was reading his email and his mouth dropped. A certain Susan from Canada was looking for the son of a South American Lady called Daryanna and her husband Harold. She was talking about their son Simon, he immediately felt a big bang coming, Simon replied to Susan’s email, introduced himself as ‘Simon’, and asked: What is it all about?. She told him that her father Peter and his father Harold had been best friends since high school. It was not to be missed that it was a serious conversation. Simon asked Susan directly if it was possible that his mother had an affair with her father. In her immediate answer, she explained that they are all grown-ups now and yes, his mother was…

- the love of his life.

Immediately, he knew instinctively that it could be true. His heart started pounding, and it felt like he had a heart attack while lying down. He got up and did not know what to do. He was filled with questions. Is his biological father still alive? Could this be a joke? No one ever told him anything. Who knew about it? Those were the first thoughts that went through his head. From now on, everything has to be different, nothing will be the same as yesterday. It was a big load for Simon, it was just too much for him. He was so weak that he believed he was going to die. He left his apartment, wandered around the streets, put his iPods in his ears, and had a long phone conversation with his sister. That calmed him down because at that time he was convinced he could pass out at any moment. The heartbeat did not return to normal. His sister had no knowledge about his story so he contacted Clara, a very good friend of his deceased mother. She too had no idea what he was talking about. There he was standing in the park and could not shake the feeling that Susan’s story was true and at that moment he was aware, that it brought some changes to his life. He was often lonely, somehow peculiar, out of place, and he had no right to be successful or to be loved. All his life he had problems of fitting in. No one listened to him, either at home or at school. He was yearning for attention. Even in company, he somehow felt abandoned. He had known that he was missing something, but he had no idea what it was. The days that followed were very confusing and disturbing for him.

A few days later Anita, Peter’s estranged wife, called Simon. She explained she had known for many years that he was Peter’s son, as Harold had told her, but did not want to go into details on the phone. Peter and Anita have been separated for a long time, having lived in the Middle East for nearly two decades, where he fell seriously ill. As a result of what happened to him in the Middle East, he was sent back to Canada, his home country. Anita had made sure he was in caring hands. On Instagram photos, the resemblance between Peter and Simon had been very obvious. She explained to him, that Peter has always been a very intelligent and interesting person with a lot of talents, in painting, sports, photography, scriptwriting, etc. When he liked to meet him, he was very welcome to stay at her place.

Simon and his friends have booked a short trip to France where they loved to go surfing, and in the last week of the month, he’s been involved in some shooting of scenes for a TV series. He agreed and after that, when all worked out all right, he would catch the next flight to Canada. He couldn’t believe it, his biological father had lived on another continent for a long time and was still alive.

He hoped that meeting Peter might help him find out who the real Simon was. Now, he had the opportunity to take a journey into his past. He had conflicting thoughts from time to time, but these didn’t affect his plans to fly to Canada. His vacation in France was almost over, and he only had two days left. Unfortunately, he injured his leg badly when he was surfing. As a result of the injury, he had torn ligaments. Somehow, he returned to Munich and immediately went to an orthopedic specialist who ordered him to keep on walking carefully, and of course, he was told not to participate in any sports for three months. The doctor also told him that a long flight to Canada might not be possible. Well, he had a good two weeks left before he planned to leave Munich.

Anita had put her mind on his recovery and hoped he was coming soon because Peter’s health was getting worse. She kept thinking about what Simon might like or need, so she bought it. On his Instagram, she saw that he plays chess, so she bought him a book about the history of chess, hoping that it was interesting for him. She placed it on the night table with some chocolate and a little midnight snack. She bought all kinds of food because she had no idea what he liked and how big his appetite was. All she wanted was for him to feel welcome because she had not forgotten that he was in a very strange situation. Simon then informed Anita that his leg was slowly getting better. He was still limping a bit but the doctor did not see any risk in flying. His plan was that right after he had done his last shooting and everything had turned out all right, he’ll catch the next flight to Calgary, Canada. But first, he had to dive naked into a freezing pool, deliver his lines and smile. Since they didn’t get the lighting right he had to speak it six times. Simon thought to himself, One day, I’ll get bigger parts and not the ones the other actors don’t want to do. He needed the money and he loved the work. Off to the airport.

Chapter 2

Holy Smokes in Calgary

Simon had emailed Anita at the time of his arrival. She informed Peter, whose health was deteriorating faster and faster that he was coming in a few days and begged him to try to hang in there. She still believed that waiting for Simon’s arrival kept Peter alive. On that particular day, she had woken up much earlier than usual and was excited to see him again after thirty -e ight years. He was an adult now. A friend offered to drive Anita to the airport to pick him up. It was a sunny day in June, and time seemed to stand still. She was nervous and had a strange feeling in her stomach. At the arrival gate for planes from overseas, she joined the waiting crowd. Anita asked herself How should I react when Simon approaches me?. Finally, the first passengers arrived with many more to follow. She had seen Simon’s portfolio on the internet and knew that he was a tall, dark -h aired , good -l ooking man. And there, he came through the gate, still limping a bit, and he was everything that she had read and seen in his portfolio. She walked towards him and smiled, and he smiled back. She felt immediately that without even talking, he radiated a certain human warmth towards her, which was rare. They hugged each other and walked with her friend to the car to drive home. For Anita, he felt like fa mily.

Simon asked where Susan was and found out that she had surgery that day and had to stay a few days in the hospital. The airport was in the city, but it was a long ride to Anita’s house because Calgary was built on a large area. Too bad the smoke from the forest fires prevented us from seeing the clear sunshine and took away the opportunity to have a good view of parts of the city. It did not bother Anita and her friend because they were used to it. It was just difficult for Simon to breathe freely, but he did not say anything. He liked fire and smoke and found it somewhat exciting. In the car, Anita suddenly remembered that there was a time when she wanted to contact him to inform him about a hereditary medical problem in his biological family when she was in Germany in the year 2003. She could not remember why the meeting did not happen. It made her sad, but she knew that it was not the time for negative thoughts.

When they arrived at Anita’s house, she showed Simon his room downstairs with a bathroom as well as the rest of the house. It was a little three-bedroom corner house with a big garden and a detached garage. Looking at the size of the house from the outside, there was more space inside than expected. Simon settled in and explained that he was not planning to spend all the time with Peter because he had never been to Canada and would also like to see the Rocky Mountains and the surrounding area. It was a Friday afternoon, and she suggested to Simon that he should wait until Sunday to visit Peter so he could give himself some time to adjust and get over the jet lag. He welcomed her advice. At that moment, he had no desire to take a nap or eat anything. He lay down on the deck chair which was situated on the grass to rest his injured leg after sitting in the plane for a long time. Anita went to the garden with fresh coffee, she sat next to Simon and told him that whenever he is ready she is available to answer whatever questions he may have, and she will answer them the best she can. It will be a long process, but for now, she suggested that he should ask her the most important question for him right now.

Simon asked: How do you know I’m Peter’s son, through Harold?

Anita responded: When I met Peter, you were fourteen months old, and I was married to a friend of Peter’s family whom we visited frequently. His grandmother Lydia, had told me about Peter and his good friend, Harold. Sometimes, I also met your grandmother Dorel, Harold’s mother, when I visited Peter’s family. I will tell you the details some other time. What I had learned from repeated conversations was that Peter was the father of Harold’s son, Simon. Sometime later when Peter was with me, I asked him about it and he said no". I had arranged a six-month trip to Europe and Peter had wanted me to visit his friend in Munich who apparently had three children. In September 1945, I made arrangements to visit Harold whom I had never met in person before. Knowing there were little children, I bought a gift basket at the bakery to take along with me. Harold opened the door and led me into the living room. He was a tall and friendly young man with a sympathetic appearance. I placed the gift basket on the table and sat on the couch. He went to the kitchen to get some coffee and sat down in the armchair. Suddenly, a little boy came towards me from a dark hallway to my right in the living room. When he came closer, I froze, and my heart almost stopped beating. The little boy looked like Peter. I turned my head to Harold who had noticed how shocked I was. He just nodded. You were that little boy. You looked well-groomed and had good manners. Harold had introduced me as the wealthy aunt Anita from Canada and did not have to say anything else. You stood in front of me, smiled, put your hand in my hand, and introduced yourself as ‘Simon’. You came and sat very close to me on the couch, which was surprising because kids were not usually drawn to me, and on top of that, I was a stranger to you. You were aware of the empty chair next to the couch table, but you had chosen to sit next to me on the couch. You did not move, you were still sitting next to me, smiling and hoping you were allowed to open the gift basket. To this day, I have never seen a child as confident as you, even as a teenager. Eventually, you took the plastic paper away from the basket and carefully opened the contents, without leaving my side.

Anita continued: Harold and I had coffee and he wanted to know about life in Canada. I told him about our camping trip across Canada from Vancouver to Toronto from where I flew to Munich. You listened attentively and showed great interest in the bears that live in the big Canadian forests. Then, the conversation turned to family life, which bored you so you went back to your room. When I was ready to go home, Harold called you and told you that aunt Anita was leaving. You came running towards me. I wanted to shake your hand to say goodbye but you ignored my invitation for a handshake. Instead, you chose to put your arms around my hips, your head on my belly, and suddenly looked up with a big smile with your shining dark eyes thanking me for the chocolate. I was touched, you were such a happy little man. You were almost seven years old. Even today, I still see you standing in front of me, wearing beige pants and a green-blue-white checkered shirt with your friendly smile.

Simon responded: That was when I came back from South America where I stayed for a year with my mother’s family. I really liked being there. I loved my Grandma and Grandpa. When I was back in Germany, I was sent to school and had problems with most of the subjects, particularly with the German language. But in time, I picked it up. When I arrived at the airport in Munich and our Nanny picked us up I looked like a horse, I couldn’t understand a word of German. That was the beginning of me feeling weird in Germany at a really early age. In my soul I was Brazilian!

Anita said: When I said goodbye to Harold, I told him that I would like to meet him again because we need to talk. He appreciated that and we met two days later in the evening. All afternoon, I was trying to figure out how to start the conversation with him but when I got to the restaurant, Harold was already there. I came straight to the point and told him that you were Peter’s son and he needs to know it. He has responsibilities and must pay child support. What should I do? Then Harold explained to me that, you are financially secure and he lets you grow up with the other two children. It was wrong of me to accept it, I should have asked if he was raising the children by himself. Does he have a nanny or has he remarried? It just slipped my mind. I knew that if I wanted to do something for you, I should not tell Peter about our meetings. Otherwise, he would arrive suddenly and make all kinds of promises to the boy and then disappear again unexpectedly; as it was always his way. I also mentioned to him that Peter was not like that anymore, he had become a family man. I gave him my promise not to say anything to Peter or anyone else, not to write, and not to call. Then I thought that Harold deserves a medal because he had raised the son of his once best friend Peter along with his two other children. You looked very similar to your biological father. I can imagine it must have been difficult for Harold to look at your face every day. All three of you have the same mother and were all in contact with her family in South America. At that time, I had no doubts that Harold asked for my silence, which meant that I should not tell Peter anything about you in order for you to grow up carefree. I was convinced that I could not keep my promise but I waited for the right moment. When I left for my trip to Europe, our marriage was fine. I knew if Peter found out about you, he would have wanted you to live with us, which would have been fine with me.

Anita added, "When I came back to Canada, I discovered that Peter had replaced me with a twenty-one-year-old Inuit girl so I had to build a new home for our daughter and myself. It was easy for me to keep my word because he did not want our daughter, and I’m sure that he would not have had any interest in you either, because he had plans with his new girlfriend.

Simon answered, I can see there is some deep anger in you, it’s very understandable, I guess it’s tuff to be left alone.

Anita, "Well,