Don’t Want Popular Want To Be Me How To Chart Your Own Path In Life And Stop Following The Crowd

By Patrice M Foster

Does a part of you feel your life choices are not exactly your own choices and you wish to understand why that is the case and what to do about it?

And do you wish you could make decisions that are purely based on wanting the best for yourself as opposed to trying to impress other people or live as per the definitions of what other people think/feel is right?

If you've answered YES,

Let This Book Help You Turn Things Around So You Stop Chasing Acceptance And Conformity With The Masses And Instead Pursue And Focus On Your Uniqueness!

Are you living your life or are you living someone else's life? The desire to be popular and fashionable is one of the most powerful drivers of human behavior. You probably think that the decisions you make on a day to day basis are your own but the truth is that every choice you make is actually predetermined by your desire to be likeable. This phenomenon ripples out into every facet of your life and has a bigger impact on your life's outcome than you can possibly imagine.

Keep reading to learn how your life today is really the outcome of external pressure rather than internal logical decision making.  

We all have that singular moment in our lives when everything changes forever, this is that moment for you. This book is about to change your life by showing you that contrary to your own expectations, every choice you make isn't actually guided by conscious decision making but rather a strong desire to be popular and fit in. Unfortunately, the desire to fit in has disastrous consequences for your personal life as well as your academic and professional life. If you are ever going to achieve greatness, then you must learn how to drop the fake you and embrace the power of the real you.  

I have spent years working in the medical field as a nurse. This book isn't just a combination of cold hard facts and statistics. The book is actually a story of my life, struggles and triumphs. My experiences in the medical field have provided me with a unique perspective on life that a lot of people have found to be very useful. I didn't achieve my full potential until I learned how to stop trying to be other people and simply embrace the power of being me. You can learn to do the same thing if you keep reading.

This book will teach you…

How to stop being a spoilt kid and become a responsible adult

What it takes to be a leader boy or leader girl

How to overcome depression and anxiety

Why humans crave to fit in

How human behavior is impacted by deeply held subconscious beliefs

Why we crave to connect with other people

How to overcome anger issues

Read along as we cover insightful topics like:

Working as a single mom

Overcoming childhood pain

The difference between material wealth and happiness

Self introspection

I can't mentality

Copycat syndrome

Want to be like syndrome

And much more!

When you are done reading this book, you will realize that you never really had a clue about who you were. You will be scared by the realization of how much your actions were really just attempts at social conformity but you will be glad to learn how to reach your full potential by embracing the real you.

Are you ready?

If you are,

Click Buy Now With 1-Click or Buy Now to get started!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patrice M Foster
• Release date: Dec 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223073895

Patrice M Foster

About The Author Patrice M Foster is a Registered Nurse in Childhood and Adolescence Psychiatry, with more than 30 plus years of clinical experience. She blogs and writes about issues that affect kids' mental health

Book preview

Introduction

The iconic poet and essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

When Emerson said these words, I doubt that even he knew just how powerful they were. After all, Emerson lived at a time when there was no TV, radio, internet, social media, or flashy magazines. The American ethos of individual expression was still firm in the Victorian age that Emerson lived in. The world today has changed in this regard and not for the better.

The various technological and cultural changes of the 20th century have actually led to strong desires for conformity and suppression of individual expression. Now before you call me a nostalgist clamoring for the good old days, I should state that there are quite a number of tangible proofs I could provide for my thesis.

To start with, kids today are more obsessed with fitting in than any other generation that came before. This is visible in their obsession to be popular on social media and their overall higher levels of depression and unhappiness. Every like or up vote on their social media profiles leads to a delirious feeling of exhilaration because their brains have now created an inextricable link between self-worth and public approval.

This problem extends from kids to adults as more and more individuals report feeling higher anxiety and stress levels. Panic attacks are increasing in number and severity as people cannot cope with the stresses of modern life. These problems extend to the workplace as more and more people struggle to be themselves and instead try to act like others.

According to Scientific American, more than 1 in 6 Americans are now taking some form of psychiatric medication to cope with depression, anxiety, or stress. This is not an indictment on anyone but rather a call to societal self-introspection; we need to ask the question, ‘what could have gone wrong?’

This book aims to answer this question in an honest and detailed manner.

Through my personal and professional experiences as a nurse, I have gained a unique insight into the critical problem that plagues us today. I will first endeavor to explain the nature of the problem and then proceed to show you a way out of the darkness.

Indeed most people aren’t even aware of just how lost they are, so they can't find the right path. But this is about to change.

"All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: My Beginnings

My Anger Issues

Chores Are For The Lame

Teen Depression

My Burning Desire To Matter

Chapter 2: What It Means To Be A Carbon Copy

Dangers of Copying Other People

Tactics You Can Use to Build a Unique You

Chapter 3: Starting My Journey As A Nurse

No Such Thing as a Slow Day

Losing a Patient Under My Care Was Tough

Learning To Trust Myself Was Everything

Chapter 4: Consider The Value Of Self-Introspection

So What Is Self-Introspection?

How To Self-Introspect

What Is The I Can’t Mentality?

Signs You May Be Suffering From I Can’t Mentality

How To Overcome The I Can’t Mentality

What Does It Mean To Be Uncomfortable In Your Own Skin?

Subtle Signs You May Not Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Tactics To Boost Your Self Esteem

Chapter 7: My Failures And How I Overcame Them

My Anger Issues Return to Haunt Me

Struggling With Work Fatigue At The Height Of The Covid-19 Pandemic

Chapter 8: Learning That Wealth Isn’t Money

Wealth Is Health

Wealth Is Time

Wealth Is Peace

Wealth Is Love

Wealth Is Honor

Happiness Does Not Correlate to The Size of Your Bank Account

Chapter 9: Copycat Syndrome And Social Media

What is The Copycat Syndrome?

How to Do Social Media In a Healthy Manner

1. Great Leaders Build Trust

2. Great Leaders Stand Up for Their Juniors

3. Great Leaders Inspire A Lot of Love But Also a Touch of Fear

4. Great Leaders Communicate Effectively

5. Great Leaders Take Responsibility

6. Great Leaders Can Organize

7. Great Leaders Have Vision

8. Great Leaders Empathize

Figuring Out The Kind of Leader You Are

Leadership Lessons For Kids

The Signs of Factitious Disorders

Cause of Factitious Disorder

Signs of Factitious Disorder by Proxy

Is Factitious Disorder by Proxy Curable

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and FDIA

Chapter 12: How Hollywood Conditions Us With The ‘Want To Be Like’ Syndrome

Signs You Have a ‘Want To Be’ Like Syndrome

How To Stop The ‘Want To Be Like’ Syndrome

Chapter 13: Why We Crave To Fit In

The Fear of Being Alone

We Crave Connection

Unfashionable People Tend to Finish Last

We Engage In a Subconscious Cost-Benefit Analysis

Fear of Judgment If You Fail

There Is Safety In The Crowd

Chapter 14: Old Wounds Still Hurt

Signs You Are Being Affected by Old Wounds

How to Heal From Old Wounds

Chapter 15: Working As a Single Mom

Unique Challenges Faced by Single Mothers

How To Deal With The Challenges of Being A Single Mom

Chapter 16: Tapping The Wellsprings of Inspiration and Motivation by Mastering Emotional Intelligence

FLOW The Pinnacle of Motivation and Self-Mastery

Make It a Habit to Get Into Flow

Conclusion

Chapter 1: My Beginnings

Stories are a communal currency of humanity.

By Tahir Shah, in Arabian Nights

Ever since I was young, I have always been fascinated by the stories that humans tell. These stories have been transmitted to us over millennia in both oral and written forms. As far back as the days of the Sumerian empire five millennia ago, the people of that time strove to articulate in great detail stories about their daily struggles, victories, and beliefs.

Stories about our past teach us lessons that we can use to take on an uncertain future. We know, for example, that disease outbreaks would sometimes ravage their populations because they wrote about these cataclysms using their famous cuneiform writing style. By reading such stories and putting them into proper context, we can learn that the current Covid-19 outbreak is a challenge we shall overcome just like they overcame theirs.

It is a core human desire deeply buried in our psyche to try and share our experiences with the people around us as well as our future progeny. Even though we have no idea how far into the future these stories will be told, we still crave to share our experiences with others.

We strive to tell our stories in the hope that a thousand years from now, the people of that time will read about our lives and be amazed at our everyday adventures, desires, and ambitions. Perhaps sharing stories is how we seek to stay alive even after we are long gone. 

I decided to tell my story because I believe that my life has offered me a unique perspective that you, as the reader, will find helpful.

In many ways, my journey has led to certain critical discoveries that could help you understand that the key to your own greatness does not lie out there in the world but rather within yourself.

Like with any good story ever told, I will start my story at the beginning.

My Anger Issues

Mark Twain said, Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Looking at me today, you might be led into believing that I was always as serene and in control as I am now. However, a dive into my past would reveal your assumption to be quite wrong.

Growing up, I wasn’t always the nicest kid; I would often let my anger get the better of me. Whether it was in conflicts with my family or disagreements with my friends, I would often find something to get angry over.

My temper would lead to disproportionate responses to situations that did not merit the level of aggression I displayed. My outbursts did not go unnoticed by the people around me, which impacted my life.

I faced negative consequences because of my anger, such as:

My Friends Would Sometimes Refuse to Play Games With Me

Part of the process of growing up is learning how to interact with others. Playing is a crucial part of learning to socialize with other people. Games often have rules, and the ability to follow the rules and be fair in your dealings creates the psychological make-up needed to follow the rules later in life.

As a kid, I always had a strong ambition to win at everything I did, and this is one of my greatest strengths. Unfortunately, this desire to win can only manifest itself positively if it is balanced by a high degree of emotional control, which I simply did not have. I often would be too aggressive in pursuit of victory, and I ignored the fact that this was not well received by those around me.

Eventually, my outbursts of anger led to backlash because nobody liked playing with someone who always wanted to get their way. This created a feeling of insecurity that would haunt me for years to come.  

My Teachers Considered Me Troublesome

A teacher’s favorite student is not simply the one who does well on tests but rather one who is calm and composed. Unfortunately, calmness and composure weren’t my forte growing up, and so I would often be at odds when I didn’t get my way in class. This obviously did not make anyone’s teacher’s pet.

My Family Had to Walk On Eggshells for Me

Nobody can know you better than your family, and mine knew me pretty well. My temper had caused more than a couple of arguments, so they learned to walk on eggshells around me. They worked to try and avoid getting me riled up over anything.  

I didn’t fully understand why I was so angry as a kid. Now, as an adult and with hindsight in mind, I can now objectively work to understand the psychology and emotions that were at play back then. Many factors were affecting my behavior, but the single biggest issue at play was the fact that I was always trying to be like other people and desperately failing at it.

The more I failed, the angrier I would get, and so I would respond by lashing out at society. I could never fully accept myself as I was and instead tried to copy other kids. Trying to be someone else is a mission that is destined to fail because you are who you are, and they are who they are.  

Then, despite the negative consequences to my life, I was never able to take charge of my emotions fully. It would be years before I would come to understand myself better and take control of my anger. I didn’t know it at the time, but my inability to control my temper would have a huge impact on my life.

It required a huge shock for me to finally understand that I had to do something about this issue or else it would destroy me. In a later chapter, I will explain the evolution of my self-perception and how I finally overcame my temper.

Chores Are For The Lame

No kid likes doing chores, and I was no exception. Cleaning my room, doing the dishes, and taking out the trash always felt like tedious tasks that should have been handled by someone else but me. I always had something more interesting to do with my time, whether it was playing outside, going to the movies, or simply