Ask Baba Yaga: Otherworldly Advice for Everyday Troubles

By Taisia Kitaiskaia

Dear Baba Yaga,
I think I must crave male attention too much. I fear that, without it, I would feel invisible.
 
BABA YAGA:
When you seek others this way, you are invisible nonetheless. Yr shawl is covered in mirrors in which others admire themselves; this is why they greet you so passionately. It is good to be seen, but it is better to see. Find a being to look hard into, & you will see yrself and what is more than you.
 
In age-old Slavic fairy tales, the witch Baba Yaga is sought out by those with a burning need for guidance. In contemporary life, Baba Yaga—a dangerous, slippery oracle—answered earnest questions on The Hairpin for years. These pages collect her most poignant, surreal, and humorous exchanges along with all-new questions and answers for those seeking her mystical advice.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Sep 26, 2017
• ISBN: 9781449488246

Book preview

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Mоим маме и папе

For my mother and father

A Note from the Author

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Baba & Me

Baba Yaga was a potent presence in the wild, dense Siberian woods where I formed my earliest memories. My family’s dachya (summer house) was right up against a forest roamed by bears and wolves. After days of berry picking and mushroom gathering, my parents told me fairy tales about this ancient trickster witch—sometimes cruel, sometimes generous, always dangerous. In one tale, the young maiden Vasilisa risks her life to seek guidance from the human-eating Baba. Vasilisa knocks on the door of the strange hut, which stands on chicken legs. Vasilisa is lucky, and instead of cooking her in a cauldron, Baba presents the brave girl with a human skull. The skull, glowing mysteriously from the inside, serves as a lantern. It saves Vasilisa, illuminating her forest path through the dark night, taking her where she needs to go.

When I was all grown up and living far from Baba’s woods, I tried to find my way back to such enchanted lands. To get to know Baba Yaga better, I asked her questions on paper (What do you look like? What do you keep in your house?) and wrote down her answers. Baba’s spirit ignored my queries but immediately began investigating my life. She even offered some unsolicited advice.

Spooked and thrilled, I communed with Baba Yaga every week for two years. Strangers sent questions that agitated and ached my human heart but found clarity in Baba’s supernatural one. I listened to her pronouncements and recorded these answers on a typewriter as best I could.

Indifferent and immortal, Baba offers no comforting pats on the back. But she can extend—with her gnarled, clawed hand—a glowing skull lantern. If you keep your nerve, that eerie light might just guide you through.

Be well, and beware,

Taisia Kitaiskaia

Contents

Love cauldrons

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How do I survive the dating world?

Why am I such a lusty boar?

She won’t date me; what do I do?

Will I die alone?

Why can’t I stop falling in love?

How can I be happy for my ex?

How do I stop worrying about finding a mate?

Why doesn’t he want to marry me?

How do I keep living with my ex?

Should I have broken up with him?

Where are the legit dudes?

Why do I keep getting sidetracked by romance?

How can I deal with jealousy?

Am I missing all the boats?

How can I trust men again?

How do I keep from dwelling on the love I haven’t had?

How do I end an affair?

How do I demonstrate my love?

How will I know when it’s time to end it?

Why can’t I stop thinking about marriage?

Should I wait for her?

How do I move on?

Is a man ever worth fighting for?

Why am I so shallow?

How do I make room for another love?

How can I give fewer fucks?

Will lost love be regained?

How do I stop worrying about an unlikely relationship?

How do relationships survive mental illness?

Why does no one want to date me?

Will I ever fall in love again?

Good in your bones

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Am I no good?

How can I let go of a painful memory?

Why

do I keep getting drunk on weeknights?

How can I coexist with my family?

Am I better than everyone?

How do I be social again?

How do I stop lashing out?

Should I break up with my friend?

Is it okay to be an introvert?

Where has my spine gone?

Is intuition real?

How do I call out my friends?

Is it possible to thrive in the face of chronic illness?

How can I kill my ego?

How can I stop being my own worst enemy?

How do I become more comfortable with myself?

Am I unlovable?

How do I get my body to work in concert with itself?

Does this one physical feature make me grotesque?

How do I open up?

How do I help someone who has always been unhappy?

I’m a terrible person; what now?

How do I deal with the ugly view out my window?

Where have my nightmares gone?

How do I protect myself from drama?

How do I feel my feelings?

What do people see in my boredom?

How can I make good friendships?

Has my heart gone cold?

Should I be less shy?

How can I transform trauma into peace and hope?

Should I put out the fire in my belly?

Why am I so mediocre?

How do I stop eating sweets?

How do I keep politics from destroying my relationship with my family?

How do I stop my gross habits?

Does my summertime depression have to feel so bad?

How do I break out of my hermit shell?

How can I forgive my mother?

How do I stop hating everyone?

Why do I crave male attention so much?

How

can I trust my body again?

How do I stop feeling so guilty?

Am I wasting my kindness?

Does my son still need my help?

How can I be authentically positive?

The FOREST PATH

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Do I have to choose between love and career?

What is missing?

How can I say no to TV?

How do I deal with new career stress?

How

Reviews for Ask Baba Yaga

[spinsterrevival · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was actually interesting with good advice. I almost feel like I’m too old to relate to 99% of the questions, but if nothing else it’s given me a good vision for being a BAMF crone one day.

[lydia1879 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

this was okay!! i liked the instagram more.

the questions all felt the same, like as if they'd been edited. the instagram seems more unedited, which i like. the advice was cryptic, and full of natural metaphors and creeping, crawling words.

but it wasn't memorable! which was a real shame. i also wanted to know more about how the author communes with baba yaga. maybe that's a part of her private practice but i did want to know more.

glad i read it, but i don't think i benefited from it much.