Gifts From Mom: 7 Tips For Finding Light In the Darkness of Dementia

By Robert Grabel

Has someone you love been diagnosed with dementia?
 
With no known cure, you may be feeling lost, hopeless and stuck. This is exactly the way Robert Grabel felt five years ago when his mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Yet he wondered if he was perhaps missing something deeper. Could there be another way? Would it be possible to find gifts, learning and even the possibility of supporting others through the challenges of this terrible disease?
 
In Gifts From Mom, Robert Grabel shares vital lessons he learned through his relationship with his mom. Beyond that, Robert offers actions you can take immediately to enjoy and support your loved one, preserve their legacy and experience your dementia journey with a deeper level of love, care and compassion.
 
If you’ve been looking for some light in the darkness of dementia, Gifts from Mom: 7 Tips for Finding Light in the Darkness of Dementia  is an excellent place to start.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9798765246177

Robert Grabel

Robert Grabel is a fundraising professional, leadership coach and the President of Nonprofit Now! Consulting and Coaching. He is grateful for the opportunity to serve leaders in the for-profit and nonprofit sectors in reaching their potential and impacting the world. Robert spent over a decade in the financial services arena as a banker and financial services advisor. He then made a career change, transferring his skills and passion into the nonprofit sector. Here, he leveraged his ability to present impactful ideas and drive philanthropic efforts. Robert has raised millions in support of senior care, homeless services, education, healthier lifestyles, youth development and services as well as the fight against heart disease, cancer and type 1 diabetes. He has done everything from launching his own start-up charity to serving in senior leadership roles. Robert’s proudest accomplishment was launching his own nonprofit called Teens Run Westchester where distance running was utilized to help young people learn about setting and achieving goals. Robert recently moved back to his hometown of Philadelphia where he lives with his wife Kimberly and their dogs, Chris and Casey, two senior rescue Labrador Retrievers. He is just a quick drive away from his mom, daughter and her husband. He also enjoys writing and playing his own original music and is a consistent and patient runner who enjoys the camaraderie and scenery while doing half and full marathons. In addition to Gifts from Mom, Robert has written Just Do The Work –The Portable Nonprofit Coach. He is also a frequent contributor on Medium. You can email Robert at [e-mail].

Book preview

GIFTS

FROM MOM:

7 Tips For Finding Light

In the Darkness of

Dementia

ROBERT GRABEL

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Copyright © 2023 Robert Grabel.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4541-5 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4542-2 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4617-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023919528

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/12/2023

CONTENTS

Introduction: Why Gifts From Mom?

Chapter 1: Unconditional Love

Caregiver Tip: Show Unconditional Love To Your Family Member (and Yourself)

Chapter 2: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Caregiver Tip: Find the Gifts

Chapter 3: Don’t Make A Living, Make A Life

Caregiver Tip: Strive for Consistency and Continuity

Chapter 4: Drawing On Relationships

Caregiver Tip: Keep Your Loved One Connected

Chapter 5: Meals Are For Much More Than Food

Caregiver Tip: Maintain Family Traditions

Chapter 6: Travel Is the Spice of Life

Caregiver Tip: Bring Travel To Your Loved One

Chapter 7: Learning The Joy of Family Ties

Caregiver Tip: Put your family ties down on paper

One Last Caregiver Tip

A Few More Thoughts

Acknowledgements

About the Author - Robert Grabel

For My Mother,

Arlene Grabel Iaia

INTRODUCTION

WHY GIFTS FROM MOM?

What was your reaction when you first learned your loved one had dementia? Surprise? Outright Frustration? Depression? Had you been seeing signs and dismissing them? Were you suspecting something was different about the way that family member was behaving? And did you think in that moment, that your life and relationship with that person was going to change forever?

For me, it was fall of 2018 when we received the diagnosis that my mother, Arlene Iaia, had vascular dementia. While it was difficult to hear the truth of those words, I wasn’t surprised. Over the past year or so, we had seen several significant changes in Mom’s behavior, none of which were encouraging. There were minor differences like forgetting a name occasionally or telling the same story several times. However, through that summer, my family and I began to see signs such as a loss of connection with work and activities that had always been second nature to her. This culminated in my getting the phone call I’d dreaded after my Mom’s visit to her neurologist.

What was most frustrating about the official diagnosis was its finality. There was nothing to do. No second opinion to seek out. As you may know, at present, there is no known cure for Alzheimer’s or dementia.

By the way, Dementia is the general term, and Alzheimer’s disease is a specific type of dementia. Throughout this book, I refer to them interchangeably.

Either way, receiving this diagnosis is heart-wrenching. There is no pill to take, plan of treatment, or special program to join. Your loved one has it, and you, as the caregiver, are expected to sit and watch while the person you know and love becomes a shadow of their former selves.