Torn Apart Heart: Parts 1 and 2

By Carole Lonsdale

I give my thoughts to poetry, and hope my words will convey the stresses and anxiety suffered by my late son and family, to others who suffer from mental health torture, and to hopefully convey the love that held a broken-hearted family together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jan 5, 2024
• ISBN: 9781035828845

Carole Lonsdale

The poems that have been written resonate with mental health, illness, and coping with bereavement, which many people will relate to. Writing these poems has been a release for me, the author, to put all my innermost thoughts into poetry, and I hope they will receive an understanding from many.

Book preview

About the Author

The poems that have been written resonate with mental health, illness, and coping with bereavement, which many people will relate to.

Writing these poems has been a release for me, the author, to put all my innermost thoughts into poetry, and I hope they will receive an understanding from many.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to our son, Darren, who we lost through panic and anxiety attacks; a tribute to his sense of humour.

Also to our daughter, Kerry, who has been to hell and back and is now disabled through Lyme Disease.

Also, my husband who has supported me to put my thoughts into words.

Copyright Information ©

Carole Lonsdale 2024

The right of Carole Lonsdale to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035828838 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035828845 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.co.uk

First Published 2024

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Torn Apart Heart

Our torn apart heart will never be the same again,

From that knock on the door, when two policemen came.

They said with no feeling, that your son has died,

With shock in our mind and body, we said it’s not true, you have lied.

We were not there to hold your hand

As you were taken to God’s special land.

We were told later, there was no medical reason for you to die

In this torn apart heart, we can get no answers, WHY?

Panics

In the last 10 years of our son’s life

Panic attacked time and time again, causing such strife. Try to calm down, try to control,

But they take over, pushing you deeper in that hole.

Can’t breathe, literally gasping for breath

Takes you to a lower depth.

Those who suffer will understand

You cannot control, they come unplanned.

Body feels weak, do not want to be in this world,

Try comfort and love, but they still come unfurled.

As a mum you feel so helpless

Just wish his life would find some redress.

Then on that fatal day, his last breath was taken away

Our son is now at peace, that’s all that we can pray.

PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

PTSD, he is told he has got

Living a life of Anxiety, and trapped in this spot

One doctor, his kindness really shone through

Said, Don’t worry, Lad, I am here for you

Unfortunately 12 months later, his doctor moved away

More signs of anxiety and panic he did display

His rare condition, ataxia was also taking its toll

He felt his life disappearing down a black hole

People around tried to spur him on

But our fun loving guy, had now gone

Just a daily life, living in fear

Of more panic attacks, and bringing the tears

Years go by, little help out there

Not many people, that show if they care

Then that fatal day, a panic took his breath away

And now pain left for the family, day after day.

Missing You

I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes

Remembering how we could not say goodbye.

You are now in the arms of an Angel out there afar

I look out of the window and see a bright shining star

Presents for Christmas and