Kara: My Shepherd: Kara Trilogy, #3

By Gary Baxter and Kathryn Gillings

Will Kara's heart truly be saved?

Kara Gilbert was shattered. She'd been played and betrayed. With tears streaming down her face, she's found herself driving through the night to escape, to who knows where…from a life, where only months before, was happy and fulfilled.
She'd lost her career, her inner strength, and worst of all, her best friend and lover, in Greg Sheppard. Heading east, she makes another wrong turn. Entering the little seaside hamlet of Port Fairy, for a pit stop, she had no idea, that the worst was yet to come…
A perchance meeting with the cheery local in Michelle, soon drops Kara into a life-threatening encounter with Brian, a beast of an ex-husband who can only speak filled with beer and his fists.
Who will save them?
Will Kara be found? Will her shepherd find her, or will others be there to protect, nurture and love them both? Will she be fulfilled once more?
'Kara, My Shepherd', is the third story of the loves, lives, and sexual discoveries of Greg and Kara, that boldly explores and exposes more about challenges,relationships, polyamory, and romance than dare to be spoken.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gary Baxter
• Release date: Feb 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9780645875157

Book preview

A white and black text Description automatically generatedA close-up of a book Description automatically generated

Acknowledgements

First and foremost, to you… as a reader, thank you.

Being inspired to buy and read Kara’s stories is a wish come true.

If you have enjoyed the first two books and are returning for more, we cannot thank you enough.

I say ‘we’ as no author produces a book, let alone three books, without inspiration, encouragement, and support from friends, and the talents of some amazing skilled professionals.

These people deserve our heartfelt thanks:

The team at Hot Tree Editing, Cecily, Rhiannon, and Maggie for walking beside these books, editing and shaping them for the publishing journey.

To Jo for being the best friend and champion of our writing, the Kara adventures, and your sharp eyes to once again give honest feedback and, of course, your enthusiasm for these stories.

To all the brave individuals and couples who have contributed their stories and engaged with us online and in interviews to inform the research.

And, of course…

To the real-life ‘Kara Gilbert’ and ‘Greg Sheppard’ who forever will astound and impress with their unique, genuine, and rare friendship.

Through you, we’ve come to fully understand and appreciate polyamory, non-monogamy, compersion, and what unselfish true love and real friendship looks and feels like.

Thank you.

Kathryn and Gary

This book is dedicated to:

The boy I first kissed.

For your love, inspiration, the magic you cast, and for walking beside me, to help create every word within these pages.

Forever—until you are my last.

K.G.

Chapter 1

Kara had no desire for music tonight, or rather, this morning. It was 1.30 a.m., now having slipped into the car, Kara cranked the heater, and driven about half a block down the street before flicking on the headlights. Only then did she turn on the radio and select the ABC news station. She needed sharp reality, cold facts, and a monotone background for this drive. She was leaving her whole world, life, and broken heart behind.

This journey and next direction needed to feel and sound different from the outset; however, she couldn’t stop the tremors or tears. She’d told herself she could only cry until she hit the Victorian border, then it had to stop. Even more than that, she had to turn down the thoughts and memories of the hurt and lies she was escaping from. While Kara knew her heart couldn’t ever truly run or hide from Greg, distance was needed to recover from the pain and devastation of these past few months. She had no other choice. Megan Munday had sunk her selfish, ruinous claws into every facet of Kara’s life.

In the lead-up to her decision to leave, Kara had felt caught, like an actor poised in the wings with the script swimming in her head, just waiting. Filled with adrenaline and fear, barely holding on for that moment when she could walk out onto centre stage and deliver a resounding performance. But the cue didn’t ever come. The understudy, Megan, had manoeuvred her way onto centre stage and into the limelight, rendering Kara unseen, like a mere prop or backdrop.

Driving into the darkness, she thought back to the first time, years ago when she last drove off in the middle of the night, on the thread of a wish and the allure of Greg Sheppard. That journey was unheralded, completely electrifying, full of lustful trepidation and excitement. It was a trip that had ignited her. Her whole body had shuddered uncontrollably with every kilometre as she headed off to meet him for the first time in thirty-five years.

This trip, by contrast, was full of nothing but reverberating pangs of sadness and heartfelt pain.

Greg was the same person who still consumed her thoughts, first and foremost, as he had back then. However, this time, her reflections of him were from a very different viewpoint.

She’d never looked him in the eye, into those deep brown eyes, and told him how much she loved him. It had never felt right to do that, as if it might break the threads that were so strongly entwined between them. To say the words seemed strangely awkward and unnecessary, like the word ‘love’ itself was flimsy and lame, that it couldn’t really say enough about how they’d bonded and connected.

She missed him, that was absolute. Her heart reminded her with a thud on every beat.

Kara Gilbert had never felt so alone and had reached a place of reckless indecision. Despite anything she’d endured in the past, tonight she didn’t give a fuck about herself, anything, or anyone. She just had to find a place to land, as far away from Adelaide as she could.

After yawning her way through the past few hundred kilometres, the Port Fairy Garden Caravan Park sign on Princes Highway had beckoned her to turn right. It had been over six hours of driving, and she was completely exhausted.

As she numbly drove into Belfast Cove, she looked only for somewhere to stay. The famed shipwrecked coast or any other attraction of this town would remain in the shadows. Her primary need at this time was to land her head on a pillow and close her eyes. She just had to deal with basics, refuel herself, her car, and get to Melbourne. That was her plan.

The caravan park had cabins, clean sheets, and afforded the social and emotional distance from anything and anyone she needed. No corridors or sounds of life, arguments or pleasure through paper-thin walls. The rotund, sing-song-voiced woman who rummaged through her cabin registration bookings had sensed her exhaustion, kindly suggesting she could get breakfast at the café down the road. The cabin would be ready for her in just over an hour.

Kara left her car and walked. It was good to move, despite still being desperate for a pillow and a chance to escape into sleep. She headed down the road, now lost in pacing away the memories towards coffee and food.

The woman’s smile that was blooming directly across the room at Kara matched the orange and purple flowers on her dress. Oh fuck! I don’t need bubbly babble and the local pry and grill. Kara lifted her gaze. Too late, damn it! She’s heading over.

A black line on a white background Description automatically generated

Michelle had first noticed the style of her walk. There was something about this unknown woman who’d glided into the café that morning. She walked tall but softly, as if she was cushioned by a pillow of air beneath her feet. She emitted a presence, like the waft of a fragrance from a passer-by. The sunglasses that remained firmly in place, the shock of long dark curls, and her lowered head made it obvious she was in an unfamiliar place and shielding herself from attention. The Farmer’s Wife Harvest Café was popular but rarely attracted women like this.

With barely a whisper, the gliding woman had ordered a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and coffee before slipping into a far corner table. Michelle, having eavesdropped the order she’d placed with the young waitress, now lingered over her own latte and breakfast. She found herself sitting there, unable to stop glancing at this woman, whose appearance had heightened her curiosity. Michelle gave her a welcoming smile, which caught the woman’s returned glance. I’d better say hi, Michelle thought as she stood up and walked up to the table right next to the woman, who was now enjoying her toastie.

‘Hi, I’m Michelle. You’re a movie star, aren’t you?’

Kara couldn’t help but grin. Now, that’s a pickup line if ever I’ve heard one. She shook her head in reply.

‘Oh, come on! You must be famous or something? I noticed it as soon as you walked in! Please tell me. I won’t say a word to anyone, I promise.’

Something about Michelle’s refreshing approach lightened Kara’s spirits. It actually felt nice to speak to someone, especially such a bubbly country bumpkin type. The small cut below her eye suggested to Kara that she may play rugby, or more likely be the victim of an abusive partner. Michelle didn’t look like the sporty type.

‘Well,’ said Kara in a secretive whisper as she looked suspiciously around the café and beckoned Michelle to lean down a little closer, ‘I am sort of famous. I’m the first person from South Australia to visit this café today.’

Michelle straightened up, quickly trying to process Kara’s secret, before suddenly a smile formed and a laugh escaped her.

‘Well then… Welcome to Port Fairy—?’

‘Kara.’

‘Welcome, Kara from South Australia. Hope you enjoy your stay here.’

‘Thank you, Michelle, but I’m leaving tomorrow. This is just a stopover.’

‘Seriously? This is such a great place for a holiday. I came here for a week about eight years ago!’

It was Kara’s turn to laugh. ‘You’re delightful, Michelle. Thanks again for the welcome. Maybe I’ll come back again for a real holiday one day.’

‘I hope you do, Kara. You’ll find there are even more cool places and amazing people like me here!’ Michelle said, laughing again, before looking down at her watch. ‘Shit, I’ve got to get to work. Nice to meet you, Kara.’

‘You too, Michelle.’

As Michelle turned for the door, Kara suddenly called out after her, ‘Hey Michelle, um, do you mind helping me with one thing please?’

‘Yes, sure?’

‘Could you please point me in the direction of the Garden’s caravan park? I checked in and then just walked, but I didn’t take any notice of which way I wandered!’

‘Kara, are you seriously staying there? Sure, I’ll show you. But there are much better places! Next time, you must stay at the Drift House.’

‘I will, thanks, Michelle. I really only needed somewhere to crash, I’ve been driving all night, and I’m so tired.’

With that, Kara stood, following Michelle out into the street.

‘Head that way to Sackville Street and head right. When you see a park turn right onto the track to cut though the Village Green until you hit Bank Street. It’s much quicker. Keep going until you get to Gipps Street, then turn left and just walk until you see the blue caravan park sign. It’s only about 10 or so minutes really.’

‘Thanks again Michelle. It was lovely to meet you. You managed to put a much-needed smile on my face.’

As Michelle turned to walk in the other direction, she called back, ‘Hey, Kara, I run the bar at one of the best places to eat here. If you get hungry, come to the Merrijig Kitchen tonight. Food is brilliant. You should try at least something nice before you leave! It’s in Campbell Street, near the wharf.’

‘Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.’

Kara found her way back to the park and her cabin easily. She dragged her ‘basics’ bag inside and tossed it on the floor, followed by herself onto the bed.

A black line on a white background Description automatically generated

Her eyes adjusted as she woke, suspended in those moments to work out where the hell she was.

Kara had slept deeply and without dreams, not any she could remember anyway. The hurt crept back slowly as the reality of why she was in this place greeted her again. She had left Adelaide, Megan, and Greg, and landed in the little Victorian coastal town of Port Fairy.

As her stomach groaned, she remembered Michelle, the nosey but nice café woman from the bleary morning. She reached for the absent phone to check the time. ‘Damn it, you need to get yourself a phone, woman!’ she told herself as she flicked on the television, scanning the screen to find the time. It was nearly 5.00 p.m. ‘God, I’ve slept all day!’ she said out loud as she climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

Dressed simply in jeans, shirt, and jacket, she headed for the park reception office again to confirm she would be staying tonight and ask about the place Michelle had mentioned.

The same obliging woman was in attendance.

‘It’s something kitchen?’ Kara said, feeling rather foolish for her vagueness.

‘It’s alright, luv, it’s probably the Merrijig Kitchen.’

‘That’s it,’ Kara replied, and getting the directions, she resisted the desire to walk, and before long parked her car near the wharf. The glow from the charming old-world restaurant emitted a soft golden welcome.

The minute she stepped inside, she was met by an effervescent Michelle. ‘Hello! Hello! You came! I’m so pleased. What would you like to drink?’

After a couple of wines at the bar, Kara enjoyed an amazing meal. Actually quite hungry, she was tempted by the duck liver parfait with house pickles and ate every last mouthful of the Portland blue-eye with pea mash and salad. She lingered over her dinner, finding comfort in the delicious flavours, the warm ambience of her surroundings, and the chance to breathe.

As she perused the menu for something sweet, Michelle came up to her. ‘How was the food?’ As Kara smiled and nodded, Michelle was beaming. ‘I told you it was good, huh? Hey Kara, why not come back to the bar ‘n wait to have a drink with me? I finish soon, and we could have a nightcap.’

‘Sure, why not?’ Kara said as she wandered back to the bar. She stayed there, cosy, conversing with the fashionably gawdy, yet sincere, bar manager until closing time.

‘Kara, you’re absolutely not going back to that cabin. You’ve had too many wines, and it’s too far to walk now, and freezing cold. My place is just around the corner, and besides, it’s all mine now that I’ve sent Brian marching. Come on. You can leave when you wake, and anyway, I want to hear more of your story. I know you aren’t a movie star, but you must have an intriguing life!’

Chapter 2

So many new things had landed in Port Fairy that day. It was no surprise that the wine, exhaustion, and caution had ascended to an overindulgence and an unexpected connection between the two women, despite being complete strangers only hours before. The babbling warmth of Michelle’s insistence that Kara stayed at her place that night, knowing both would’ve otherwise been alone, combined with the past twenty-four hours, was comfort enough for Kara to accept.

Michelle had somehow been entranced by the intrigue and sincerity Kara emulated, instinctively feeling she could somehow be a comforting friend, especially given she’d told Brian, her bully of a husband, to hit the road the night before.

A ‘girl’s night’ was what they each needed, bonding simply by the distance they’d cast between their men. Michelle’s place was a single bedroom unit overlooking the bay that was sort of ‘the worst house in the best location’ type of place.

Michelle’s eyes widened in disbelief as Kara lay next to her on the bed and told her the whole story of why she was in Port Fairy. She’d detailed why she’d departed Adelaide, having simply driven off into the night, bringing her to somehow aimlessly arrive in Michelle’s town. Kara’s account of the ‘Megan bitch’ who had betrayed her trust, and whom she’d left behind with her beloved best friend and lover, was heart wrenching. The single rivulet that ran down Kara’s left cheek struck the loudest chord. All Michelle could think to do was reach over and pull her into a deep hug. Kara’s tears flowed in streams held in this stranger’s arms, surprisingly warmed as the built-up pain released. It was an unexpected comfort.

Startled by a noise from the living room, the two girls pulled apart slightly, frozen in their embrace. Kara saw Michelle’s face contort in horror as her body sagged and crumpled like a rag doll in her arms. Kara now held her from collapsing, and the expression on Michelle’s face was of pending doom.

It was a look Kara would remember for the rest of her life.

‘What is it?’ Kara asked.

Then the door burst open. Kara saw Michelle close her eyes as her own became large as saucers as she saw the dark outline of the drunken beast. Kara was held there, suspended in terror as the troll-sized man’s raging steps filled the room. He took a handful of Michelle’s hair, whipping her head back. Michelle was torn from her arms as he threw her off the end of the bed and onto the floor.

‘I knew you’d be fucking someone, you fucken slut… but not some fucken lesbian! I told you no man would look at you after me!’

Brian looked at Kara with hatred, his bloodshot eyes squinting with rage. The force of his hand across Kara’s face and his expletive-laced tirade blindsided and rendered her frozen as she hit the floor hard on the far side of the bed. Burning pain, anger, and fear thrummed through her.

Brian turned his sights back to Michelle, grabbing another fistful of her hair in one hand and lifting her from the floor as he swung his right arm to land a thunderous slap across her face. Kara was sure the hit would tear her head clean off her shoulders as Michelle spun almost full circle before smashing to the floor once more.

This time Michelle didn’t move. Oh my God! He’s killed her! was all Kara could think. She heard three stomping steps. She dared not look up. She knew Brian was standing over her. Fuck, it’s back to me. She lay there motionless, waiting for the next assault.

‘I’ll be back for you. You fucken whore!’ he said as he turned and lumbered out of the room towards the kitchen. Kara’s whole body shuddered out a breath of relief. Her cheek felt numb, but she dared not waste time to consider her injuries. She had to help Michelle. On hands and knees, she crawled over to her, feeling for a pulse. She kept whispering, ‘Michelle, Michelle, come on, please wake up!’

To Kara, it seemed like forever before Michelle finally moved, then groaned.

‘Come on! We need to get out of here!’ Kara pleaded as Michelle slowly regained her senses. She knew they both had little chance to survive what this thunderous beast would unleash on them next. There was no time to waste.

Kara crept to the doorway and looked down the passage towards the kitchen. Brian was there, still lumbering in the kitchen to refuel his drunken rage. With the fridge door flung wide, shielding his view of the hallway, he hadn’t seen her yet.

She returned to Michelle. ‘Stand up! We have to go now!’ Kara used every muscle to help lift Michelle off the floor and scrambled towards the door.

They stepped into the light of the passage just as he slammed the fridge door shut. With one arm around Michelle, Kara’s adrenaline surged with the fear that any second his hands would be around her throat. Kara lunged for the front door lock that was now only a metre away. Her panic-filled fingers finally managed to open the front door and she nearly threw Michelle out onto the entrance porch. Michelle managed the two steps of the front veranda before collapsing onto the poorly maintained front lawn. Kara slammed the door behind her and rushed to get Michelle back on her feet.

Kara’s last memory as they escaped the house was that of the huge, swaying, spitting haybale of a man yelling, ‘Fuck you, lesbian sluts. I’ll kill ya both!’ as he lurched and reached for the door jamb, the only thing that now could hold him upright.

Michelle, who was struggling to walk, braced herself against Kara’s body like a crutch, who was dragging her to safety as fast as she could. The shock and pain erupted from Michelle with an agonising scream as they reached Kara’s car.

‘Agh, fuck, I’m so sorry, he has… never been… this bad,’ said Michelle with a breath after every second word.

‘Get in, and let’s get out of here,’ was all Kara could say, trying to reassure her while urging her to hurry. ‘Michelle, we need to go to the hospital to get you checked out. I’m sure he knocked you out.’

‘We don’t have a hospital,’ Michelle said desperately.

‘Well, the police then,’ Kara insisted.

‘No, they will lock him up.’

‘Yes, exactly. That’s what he needs, and the key thrown away too!’ Kara’s face then scowled in panicked despair. ‘Oh shit! My keys are in my bag back in the house!’

‘The bedroom window is unlocked,’ said Michelle groggily.

‘Slide it up and you can reach in and grab it.’

‘You’re kidding, right?’ Kara looked at her in disbelief.

‘He’ll be in the kitchen, probably even asleep by now. I’ll do it if you want.’

‘No, you stay here,’ Kara said firmly.

This is crazy. We should be calling the cops, Kara thought as she headed back to the house.

Kara snuck quietly across the weedy lawn and onto the veranda, straining to hear any noise coming from the house. There was no sound at all from inside. Maybe she’s right and he might be asleep? Kara crept to the window, and as Michelle had said, it slid up easily. She could see the bed was empty and her bag was not where she had thought but within reach. She slid in with her whole torso, now back in the room that she never wanted to see again.

With one hand holding her up, she reached out with the other at full stretch, now almost completely in the room. She grabbed the leather strap and pulled the bag towards her, easing it back to carefully pass it out and down onto the veranda before freeing both hands to pull herself back. She scanned the room quickly and saw Michelle’s bag. Shit, I should grab that too. Then her jacket came into focus on the floor. Something riled up inside her. God, I’m not leaving that behind. I’m not losing claim on any more leather jackets, she thought. That would require her to slide to her knees to reach it.

With the nail of her index finger digging into the material, she managed to drag it closer to get a full hold. At that point, her arm gave way, and she fell into the room. She froze, listening for any beastly noise or movement. For a second, there was none, then came the sound of a kitchen chair sliding across the lino floor, followed by a bang as it fell backwards. She grabbed Michelle’s bag, throwing it, the jacket, and herself towards the window.

She got as far as having one leg outside when Brian appeared in the bedroom doorway. She ducked her head under the open pane and was all but outside, except for one leg. With only two paces, he was there upon her. She felt the huge hand wrap around her ankle. ‘You fuckin’ whore!’ he bellowed.

She heaved herself, throwing all her weight out onto the veranda and bringing Brian with her. As his bulbous head struck the window frame, he jolted back, releasing his grip on her leg. Scrabbling to her feet, grabbing the bags and her beloved jacket, she turned and ran like hell. She didn’t look back.

‘You’ll pay for that, you fucking bitch!’ Brian’s yelling faded as she rounded the street corner.

A black line on a white background Description automatically generated

Kara fumbled for her keys, her fingers succumbing to fearful shaking. Not until she’d started the car and turned out of the street did the shuddering start to slow.

‘Which way to the caravan park?’ Kara asked the concussed Michelle.

‘I don’t know.’ It was pretty clear Michelle had no idea where they were.

Kara didn’t know which way to go either, only wanting to get away to safety as fast as she could. Remembering only the caravan park’s name, she couldn’t focus or recall any landmarks to help her get there. After about four blocks, she turned into a side street and pulled over.

‘Michelle, is your phone in your bag?’

‘Err, yes… I think.’

Kara grabbed Michelle’s bag and rummaged to find the iPhone. Thankfully, Michelle had no lock protection, so in a few seconds, she was punching in the name of the cabin park into Google Maps. The mix of the sterile voice of directions through the phone and Michelle’s painful rasping breaths rang through Kara as she drove, clinging to her last resolve until she pulled up to her cabin door. She was now grateful for having the little one-bedroom place in a secure park that rendered them inconspicuous, able to be secreted away from Brian and the restaurant where Michelle worked.

Once inside, all Kara could think to do was to check Michelle’s injuries.

‘Let me look. You should be seeing a doctor. This is crazy.’

‘Kara, I’ll be fine. I’m just so sorry. I was sure he would never be back.’

Checking Michelle’s now-swelling face, Kara could see that despite all the blood, she’d suffered only a small cut over her eye.

‘I’m really alright,’ said Michelle. ‘I’ve survived much worse before, you know.’

‘Michelle, I just want to make sure you’re okay. No one should ever think they have the right to lay a hand on you like this!’

‘Thank you, Kara. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault that you got caught up in this mess.’

‘You’re not to blame! My God, he’s the criminal here.’

‘Is it okay if I take a moment in the bathroom, and I’ll just clean myself up a bit?’

‘Of course. Have a shower or whatever. Help yourself to my things. There should be a robe in there too, I think.’

As Michelle lingered in the hot shower, Kara stripped off her blood-spattered clothes and threw on a T-shirt and track pants, the whole time worrying about what Michelle should do next.

Port Fairy is no longer safe. Michelle really should get out of this place. As Kara mused on the idea of taking her to Melbourne, Michelle emerged from the bathroom.

‘I feel so much better, Kara. Thank you.’

‘That’s a relief. Hop into bed. I’ll make you a cup of tea, then it’s my turn for a shower.’

‘How about I make us both a tea while you’re in the bathroom?’

‘That sounds great, thanks,’ Kara said as she finally headed to the much-needed warm water, finally getting a chance to check her own face and body. She was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and of course the run-in with Brian was not what she had planned for the start of her new life.

She found there were a few more scrapes and bruises than she thought with one eye already blackening. She despaired at her bloodshot filled eyes that showed the toll of the past forty-eight hours.

Kara relished the massage of the water, willing all the hurt to just wash away. She turned off the water, dried herself, and sighed as she looked in the mirror. The desire for sleep was all she held in the steps back to the bedroom.

She slipped under the covers next to Michelle, who handed her a warm mug.

‘Kara, I knew the moment I spied you in the coffee shop this morning that you were a special woman. I can’t believe I put you through all this. I’m so sorry.’

‘Michelle, let’s