Adventures of a Space Munky

By Sammi Jane Gray-Jones

Louie Tasche von Ratzen is the galaxy’s most loveable rogue, his exploits in the CS Bandit are now legendary as he lurches from one crisis to the next.

With his crew of munkys and aided by a pair of guards from the SS Polaris, he thwarts the plans of space pirates and smugglers, stopping along the way to help a damsel in distress.

• Language: English
• Publisher: NewGenerationPublishing
• Release date: Feb 16, 2024
• ISBN: 9781803698250

Book preview

Chapter One

LOUIE WALKED QUICKLY ALONG THE DIMLY LIT CORRIDORS of Space Station Polaris, heading for the docking bay where his ship, the CS Bandit was berthed.

Dan, he said over his portable comms unit, Tell me that you’ve got the parts you need.

Most of them, and they’re all installed and working.

"Most of them? Louie sighed, What are you missing, Mr Gless?"

I still can’t get the transponder to work. his engineer replied.

Louie brightened at this news, "That’s okay Dan, we don’t want to be found." He rounded the final corner before getting to the dock and saw a pair of security guards at the doors, he moved out of view before they saw him. But it was too late, as another pair of guards had approached him from behind, and the two pooches gripped him by his arms.

Louie Tasche von Ratzen? one of them asked.

As if you didn’t know. he retorted.

It’s a formality, the Mistress wants to see you.

Yes, I’m him. Now let’s get this over with.

The guards escorted him through the space station, and up to her office. The doors opened and one of the guards shoved him through. Louie looked round and glared at him.

There’s no need for that.! he said, I came here willingly, didn’t I?

It’s my job. the guard growled.

Ah, Louie! purred a voice from inside the darkened room.

Whatever it was, I didn’t do it. Louie protested.

The lights came up, revealing Missy Dish sitting behind the desk, calmly washing herself.

I’ve had my people out looking for you, it seems that wherever you go the sensors go offline. They’ve had to follow the blind spots till they caught up with you.

Louie smiled nervously, Ah, yes… I can explain that, I found this little device that jams the signals, I was going to turn it over...

But you never got round to doing it? purred Missy.

Exactly! he said.

"We have a problem, somebody stole the Star of Sheba from me, and I want it back!"

It wasn’t me, honestly!

"I know it wasn’t you… this time.! I want you to get it back for me." Missy told him.

Can’t the Space Patrol do it?

Apparently not, it’s an internal matter, and without solid proof there’s nothing they can do. That’s where you come in.

Why me? Louie wanted to know, And what do I get out of it? he asked, always looking for an angle.

"You know most of the people who are on the fringes of the law in this area, and your skills at wheeling and dealing are legendary. If you get the Star back for me, I’ll overlook all of your past indiscretions on my station."

"All of them?"

Yes, all of them. Missy told him.

Including the time…

"Yes, even that."

Wow! This star of Sheena must be really important to you.

"Sheba!" Missy snapped, Yes it’s very important to me, it’s been passed down through my family for generations.

Have you any idea of who might have taken it? Louie asked her.

"I have my suspicions, the Star was here three nights ago, and the only ship to have left between then and the time the theft was discovered that hasn’t responded to our hails is the Tolstoy."

That’s Anatoli Kuznetsov’s ship. Louie said.

Indeed it is, and you know him. she said, Which gives you a better chance of getting it back.

Well... Louie coughed nervously, the last time I saw him we didn’t part on the best of terms.

Missy sighed, What happened?

We were moving some cases of sodium lamps when the Space Patrol turned up.

There’s nothing wrong in doing a bit of freighting. said Missy.

Technically it wasn’t our freight though, he got caught with some marked cases of the lamps in his cargo hold. I just got a caution for my part in it, and was told not to get mixed up with the likes of him again.

And he holds that against you? asked Missy.

"Yes, because it was him helping me. My ship was in for repairs, and I asked him if we could use his instead."

That would explain his attitude then. I still need you to get the Star back though.

It’s not going to be easy. Louie warned her.

If it was easy, Angie could do it. Incidentally she’ll be going with you.

WHAT! Louie took a step back, There’s no way that I’ll let her on board my ship.

"If she doesn’t go, you don’t go. I’ve got enough on you to tie you up here for months!"

Louie sighed, he knew when he was beaten. When do we leave?

You’ll be leaving within the hour, once all the supplies that you need are loaded. Louie was informed. She indicated the pair of guards, standing at the back of the office. These gentlemen will see you back to your ship, and then wait with you until everything is loaded. said Missy.

I don’t need anything though. Louie said, spreading his arms.

That’s not what my quartermaster tells me.

"Okay, so we are a little short on the basics." he confessed.

All of that will be rectified before you leave. Missy said, There’s no way that I’ll let Angie go out on a ship that’s not up to scratch.

I’ve got a very good engineer, he’s got everything running smoothly.

Yes, and I won’t ask where those engines came from.

They were legitimate salvage!

I’m surprised they don’t tear that little ship of yours apart. said Missy.

Not half as surprised as I was the first time Dan fired them up. Louie muttered, The inertial dampers helped with that though. he told Missy.

Where did those come from? Don’t tell me… salvage?

Not this time, we bought them from Kobi Kendrick.

Ah, that well known Procurement Specialist of fine parts for space ships. said Missy sarcastically, And where do you think he got the dampers?

He said they were from a legitimate supplier to the Quasar Space Yards.

Humph, Missy muttered, Right away you go, Angie will be at the space dock before you leave, I need a nap. she waved a paw in his direction, and the guards hustled him away.

Chapter Two

ON THE WAY BACK TO THE DOCKING BAY, Louie took the time to greet some of the vendors at the various stalls set up on the main promenade. By the time he had spoken to half of them the younger guard was starting to mutter dark thoughts.

Hey, lighten up. My day has just got a whole lot better.

The Mistress said we had to get you back to that bucket of bolts that you call a ship, but she didn’t say in how many pieces. he growled.

Louie swallowed, Let’s just get back there then, shall we? he said nervously.

The rest of the trip through the corridors went smoothly, but Louie’s brain was racing trying to think of ways to get out of doing the job that lay ahead of them.

There’s no way you can worm your way out of this one. the senior guard told him.

I wouldn’t dream of it, Boris. he protested.

I’ve known you for years, I can hear what you’re thinking miles away! Boris told him, Sorry about what young Gareth here said to you, he’s new.

"Gareth? He’s going to have to do something about that name if he’s going to be respected." Louie said, trying to hide a smirk.

What about Garth? Boris asked.

That would work, it’s a nice strong name. said Louie.

So you weren’t frightened by what I said? asked the newly named Garth.

"It had a very good ring to it, I was almost convinced." Louie told the pooch.

So what didn’t convince you? he asked.

Oh, Boris wouldn’t have let you do that to me. Louie said confidently.

I wouldn’t have let him, eh? And what made you think that? said Boris, with an evil chuckle.

Just then they reached the airlock to the docking bays, Boris tapped out an access code and the doors slid open, and they all walked through and into docking bay J4. A large pile of crates sat beside the loading hatch of the Bandit.

Where have you been? asked Dan, All of these supplies turned up about quarter of an hour ago, and the quartermaster said they were for us, courtesy of the Mistress!

I’ve just come from seeing her, these two insisted, Louie said, indicating the guards, so how could I refuse?

What have you done now? asked his engineer, with a long suffering sigh.

I’m in the clear, but we have to get something back for her.

And what would that be? asked Dan.

The Star of Sheba, it’s a family heirloom, and we’ve got to get it back from Anatoli.

That could be a problem, considering how he feels about you. Anything else you need to tell me.?

Missy is sending Angie with us. Louie confessed.

Wonderful! She can be a right royal pain in the… you know where. Dan said after glancing at Boris and Garth.

Boris smiled, Neck? he offered.

Just the word I was looking for! Dan told him.

Louie looked around, Where are the twins, and that cousin of mine?

He was due back an hour ago. So when I realised that something was going down, I sent the twins to look for him. Dan told him.

Anything we can do? asked Garth.

No thanks, not just now anyway. Hasn’t Boris told you that you aren’t supposed to be helpful? said Louie.

Boris laughed at Garth’s crestfallen expression, He’s got you there, youngster.

The doors of the docking bay hissed open, and through it came the twins supporting a very much worse for wear Jellycat.

I might have known that they would find you in the pub! said Louie.

Yes, but we’re here for the next week. So I got a head start. Jellycat giggled, then sat down on one of the crates of supplies, where did these come from? he asked, looking around him.

Special delivery from the Mistress! Garth barked.

He blinked, What’s going on? Jellycat asked.

So Louie told him what had happened over the last hour, and no sooner had he finished telling him then the doors to the dock opened again to admit Angie, accompanied by a porter with her luggage.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. she said, I’m sure that the Mistress has told you I’m in charge.

Louie blinked, She said no such thing, just that you’d be coming with us.

Oh, I was sure that she meant that I would be in charge. she said in a small voice.

We won’t do anything without telling you. Louie assured her.

While the twins took Jellycat to his bunk, Louie helped the porter stow all but one of Angie’s bags in the cargo hold.

"But I need all of my bags in my cabin." Angie protested, as she walked beside them.

I’m afraid that’s not possible, Angie. Louie told her, It’s only a small cabin.

Oh, isn’t there a bigger one I can use? she asked in a wheedling tone.

The only one that’s bigger is the one that the twins share. This is a working cargo ship, not a cruise liner. We all have lockers down here for our extra things, so it’s not just you. Angie felt better at being told this, and happily went off to inspect her cabin, Louie took the smallest of her bags along to it, and as the door was open went in to put it down. Angie was curled up fast asleep on the bunk, so he smiled gently and drew the covers over her.

On his return to the dock he saw that nearly all of the supplies had been stowed away.

How long till we’re ready to leave? he asked Dan.

Just a few more minutes, Boss. Boris wants a word though, he’s been talking to Control.

What is it, Boris?

Have you got room for another couple of passengers?

Yes, but they’ll have to slum it in hammocks on the cargo deck. Louie said slowly, starting to have his suspicions, who are they? As if I didn’t know.

The Mistress has asked Control that we go with you as well.

Very well, but you’re going to have to ditch those uniforms. Where we’re going they don’t treat guards nicely. Be back here in ten minutes ready to leave.

Boris nodded, and he hurried away, with Garth in tow.

Dan looked at Louie, "Are you really going to wait for them, or was that just a ruse to get rid of them?"

We’ll wait, having those two with us if we get into any trouble could come in useful.

"What do you mean if we get into trouble! Sergei retorted, we always get into trouble at some point."

That’s true, Claudio added, it just seems to find us.

With all four of them all pitching in, stowing the last of the supplies went quickly, and by the time they had finished Boris and Garth were back. Garth was dressed in very garish clothing and nobody would have ever guessed that he was a guard in mufti. Boris though was a different matter, no matter what clothing he wore, his demeanour shouted Guard! He might as well have had the word tattooed on his forehead. Louie sighed, that’s something they would have to do something about.

Let’s get going then, said Louie, we’ve got clearance from Control to launch.

Where are we heading for? asked Boris.

"Our first stop will have to be at Cenvides in the Badlands, there are mining supplies for there in the hold, and we can get some sort of idea where the Tolstoy has gone." Louie told him.

That’ll take us nearly a week to get there, said Boris, I don’t think the Mistress is prepared to wait that long. Louie smiled to himself knowingly, and said nothing.

Chapter Three

BANDIT CLEARED THE SPACE STATION and once she was in open space, Dan flipped up a cover on his console and pressed a red button. The little ship leapt forward like a racehorse out of a starting gate, and was soon up to half of light speed, and was still accelerating.

Strewth! yelped Garth, Not even our patrol ships can accelerate like this.

"You haven’t seen anything yet, wait until we get the FTL drive online. Then we’ll show you what she can do." said Louie.

Even at twice the speed of light it will take four days for us to get to the Badlands. Boris pointed out.

"Who said anything about twice the speed of light, this little baby can make almost four times that." Dan boasted.

No civilian engines can get past LSF three! Garth told Boris.

I think you had better level with me, Louie. Boris said.

Hmm, yes. It is time that you knew more. I actually work for Section 79.

"Section 79! No wonder you keep on getting away with things." Garth blurted out.

Okay, so what do you do for them? asked Boris.

I keep an eye on what’s going on out here, and disrupt things if I can without showing my hand.

What about that business with the sodium lamps though?

That was the turning point. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I carried on like that and didn’t start working for the Section, I would be going away for a very long time.

So now you’re law abiding? Boris asked with incredulity.

Not exactly, I still need to keep up appearances. Louie told him.

And make a tidy profit at the same time. Garth reminded him.

There is that, but it keeps the Section’s expenses down if they don’t need to pay me.

So Section 79 outfitted the ship? Are there any other surprises apart from the engines? asked Boris.

We have got some weaponry that we can use if we need to. Dan said.

What, a couple of clapped out plasma rifles? scoffed Garth.

Not exactly… Louie said with a smile, we’ve got two concealed turrets equipped with Mk V plasma cannons and a torpedo launcher.

Our patrol ships have only got the Mk IV cannons! Garth said, with a hint of envy.

Do the others know about your… sideline? asked Boris.

Dan does obviously, and Jellycat as well, he’s my weapons officer. But the twins think we’re smugglers with some hefty fire power!

They approached the FTL Jump Point that would take them all the way to the Badlands, then checking that there were no ships on their long range sensors, Dan engaged the FTL drive and the little ship accelerated up to its maximum speed of LSF 7.4, the inertial dampers working overtime to keep her on an even course, heading straight for the Badlands. The journey took most of the rest of the day, then Bandit came out of FTL drive, and slowed down to half of light speed.

Dan flicked a hidden switch and the engine harmonics rose until they reached an off-key pitch. They carried on lurching towards the nearest planet, Cenvides.

What on earth is that awful noise? said a voice from behind them.

Oh, hi Angie, did you have a nice nap? asked Louie.

"I was having a nice nap, as you put it, until that bloody awful racket started up. Where are we anyway?"

"Just approaching the Badlands. I’m hoping to get some information about the Tolstoy from one of my contacts here."

"There’s no way I was asleep for that long!" said Angie.

"Bandit can move quickly when she needs to." Louie told her.

"This bucket of bolts? Don’t make me laugh!" she said mockingly.

It’s true miss, this is one fast little ship. Boris said.

How can a down at heel petty smuggler get his paws on that sort of ship?

One with connections. Boris raised an eyebrow.

Ah, all is becoming clear. said Angie, Well, it’s actually getting a lot more confusing.

Louie sighed again, I work for Section 79, primarily. The rest of the time I do a bit of wheeling and dealing to keep my hand in.

With connections that go that high, you could have refused to help Missy. Angie said, as realisation dawned.

I could have, but it would have blown my cover, besides I like her and want to help if I can. said Louie.

"So all of that back on Polaris was an act?" Boris asked.

Mostly, I do have appearances to keep up, you know. Louie shrugged and sat down.

He settled himself at the controls, and brought Bandit into a bumpy landing at the Galaxy Station space port. Dan flicked a few switches and her engines gradually wound down and stopped, Angie’s tail stopped swishing in agitation as well. Louie climbed down from the bridge and swung open the airlock, before walking down the steps and into the glaring sunlight, together with Boris and Garth.

Smooth as ever, I see. said a large figure standing in the shade.

Hudson, you old dog! Good to see you again. Louie said jovially.

A likely story, I only ever see you when you want something.

How can you say that? Louie spread his arms wide, and was enveloped in a back slapping hug.

Let’s go to my office, and we can tell each other lies. said Hudson, and led the way to a building at the edge of the landing pad.

Chapter Four

ONCE THEY WERE IN HUDSON’S OFFICE with the door closed, he sat down behind his desk and leaned forward.

Now, why don’t you tell me what this visit is really about? he said.

"I’ve been asked to track down Anatoli Kuznetsov and the Tolstoy." Louie told him.

Hudson sighed, What has he stolen now?

Wait a minute, Boris said, weren’t you a sector commander in Space Patrol, and left under a very big cloud?

That’s right, Hudson confirmed, but not all is as it seemed.

Don’t tell me that you’re working for Section 79 as well? said Garth.

Just how much have you blabbed? Hudson said, glaring at Louie across his desk.

"No more than I needed to, they grew suspicious when Bandit showed what she’s capable of."

"To answer your question, Kuznetsov is suspected of stealing the Star of Sheba from Missy Dish, the Mistress of SS Polaris." said Boris.

"I can tell you’re a guard, suspected of… typical guard speak! said Hudson with a chuckle, The last thing I heard was that he was heading for the Russian sector."

Wonderful! Louie said, with a sigh, "I hate dealing with them."

I thought that you got on with them, said Boris, you were quite happy to work with Anatoli, until you had that misunderstanding.

The people are fine, explained Louie, it’s the bureaucracy I don’t like.

I’m sure they feel the same way about you, if that’s any comfort. Garth put in.

There was a knock on the door, and it swung open to reveal Angie standing there.

Have you finished telling each other lies yet? she asked impatiently, swishing her tail from side to side.

Yes, and we’ve found out where our thief is heading. Garth told her.

That’s brilliant news, now we can get after him and get the Star back! she purred with satisfaction.

Not so fast! said Hudson holding up his paw, There’s something that I need you to do for me first.

Okay, said Angie, "I suppose we could help you out."

Hey! Louie objected, Who put you in charge? he looked at Hudson, ‘What is it that you want us to do?"

Hudson laughed, I need you to track down Denis Dalton, he’s skipped out on me and gone into hiding on Vexeturn in the Oriolius system.

Not a problem, it’s a straight run from here. I know Denis, so we should have him back here in a few days.

That was before the Raiders of the Void moved into that area of space, no one is safe going through there now.

"What makes you think that we’ll be safe?" asked Garth.

I helped to equip that little ship out there, she’s more than capable of taking care of herself. Hudson said, leaning back in his chair.

Plus it will be a feather in your cap if the Raiders get a bloody nose and are sent packing with their tails between their legs. Boris pointed out.

You catch on quickly, do you want to come and work for me?

"No, it’s okay. I’ve got a good job back on Polaris." said Boris.

You can’t blame a bloke for trying. said Hudson.

That ship out there looks as if she’s falling apart though, one hit and it’s all over! Angie said.

It’s all camouflage, under those rusty hull plates is a skin of pure Jespium. Hudson told them.

Garth whistled, That’ll withstand a direct hit from just about anything out there. he said with wonder.

That’s why we don’t need to have shields. Louie said.

"And that will make Bandit look all the more tempting."

Hudson said, rubbing his paws together.

"Men! Angie tutted, Is that all you ever think about?"

Louie, Hudson, Boris and Garth looked at each other, then chorused, Yes!

Well that and drinking of course. added Louie.

"Is there any way that you can get an update through to the Polaris and Missy?" Angie asked Hudson.

I’m afraid not little lady. said Hudson shaking his head. All of our sub-space communications are down for maintenance just now.

"Our comms are working, but will Missy want to hear that we’re off doing something else before getting on the trail of the Tolstoy?" asked Louie.

Knowing her, probably not. Angie agreed.

Hudson got up, walked round his desk and ushered his guests back out into the baking sun of the space port.

All of your papers are in order! he said over the noise of a departing ship, We’ll get your cargo unloaded as soon as a lifter is available.

Have you got anything for me to take? Louie asked.

There’s a cargo of Pleolium ore to take to the Silverstone Foundry on Vexeturn.

Isn’t that in the Oriolius system?asked Garth.

Yes, it is. Hudson confirmed.

I’d heard there were pirates in that system.he said worriedly.

Phooey.! Just rumours. Nothing of the sort. said Hudson.

He accompanied them back to their ship, and then muttered quietly to Louie.

That should get the rumour mill working overtime.

"Thanks old friend, are you really going to trust us with that ore?"

It’s got to get there, the Council of Planets are having some new medals struck, and they need to have that ore smelted. Your ship has the best chance of getting through, other than sending for ships from the Phoenix Division. And this job has to be done quickly.

And with you needing us to find Denis for you, it’s a two for one deal. Louie said.

"You can’t blame an old dog