Turkana Man

By Gilles Mousseau

I spent most of my life trying to understand my dismissive avoidant attachment disorder. I sought the help of psychiatrists who were not acquainted with my disorder and were not able to help when, long ago, my daughter and I consulted them. However, I have since successfully diagnosed my condition which now has a name.
Today, as I look around me, I see that the FOMO generation is suffering from my condition to varying degrees, and I want to help. That is why I decided to transcribe a conversation I should have had with my daughter who came to live with me forty years ago, and who has since become estranged from me.
The conversation is about how apes became intelligent, how religion became a societal necessity, and how it fused with political power in 325 of the Common Era as it tried to counter the forces of lust, greed and envy that had stripped away our ape innocence. It is unfortunate that, today, the state-religion combo, through its educational system, unwittingly encourages us to opt for consumerism instead of helping us discover our talents. However, thanks to the fabulous world of credit that was created in 1781, we now have the possibility, for the first time in human history, to choose between a beauty or a beast lifestyle: the first where we pursue nurturing and creative activities, and the latter where lust, greed and envy rules.
In having this virtual conversation, I mean to encourage young people to focus on their talents in order to eventually do what they love to do for a living, and to only use the educational system as needed. If they succeed, they will hopefully escape the diploma-high-paying-job trap and become fulfilled doers instead of bankrupt consumers. Using their talent earning a living would make them eager to get going in the morning, like wanting, as a grower, to go and see how their hothouse strawberry idea is doing, or, as an African park ranger, wanting to check on the new litter of lion cubs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gilles Mousseau
• Release date: Feb 19, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224870349

Gilles Mousseau

I'm a Canadian male baby boomer of French descent educated in English. Born in extreme poverty, I managed to escape my predicament by forever acting like a proverbial 2-year-old who never stops asking the question "why", but one who refuses to accept flippant answers. I studied the existentialists at the postgraduate level and just kept on going. I eventually discovered how our credit world came to be, what a great world it is, and how difficult it is for us, intelligent animals, to adapt to it. I felt the need to share my findings.

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Turkana Man

Gilles Mousseau

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TURKANA MAN

The most wonderful little girl a father could ever hope to have, came to live with her dad following a spat with her stepfather. In the early stages, at bedtime, wanting to connect with her new caregiver, she asked: what are boys like? The father froze and answered: they are the same as girls.

That lame response came from me. Those few words shattered our emotional relationship before it even began. She had apparently never learned to trust her mother, and now, her last beacon of hope, her father, could not be trusted either.

The medical community describe my condition as a problematic mood, behavior, and social relationships pattern arising from unavailability of normal socializing care and attention from primary care giving figures in early childhood. They define it as a dismissive- avoidant attachment disorder. People in this category do not crave intimacy, quite the contrary, they are wary of closeness and avoid emotional connection with others. They can drift in and out of everyone’s lives without causing any sort of emotional havoc. They want their freedom and independence and want those around them to be the same.

People with my attachment disorder are happy to be who they are and where they are, and can be very social, easy-going, and fun to be around. No matter, they perceive one-on-one communications with a live human being as a threat, and they freak out when they become unavoidable, like what happened to me with my daughter.

When they receive positive vibes from someone close, it feels foreign to them, and they panic. They do not know what trusting or bonding is, so when someone close expects it or demands it, they are at a complete loss and look for an appropriate escape hatch.

The dismissive-avoidant child shows little or no desire to be held or comforted, and as insecure as he or she feels, the child sees no reason to approach anyone since there is no comfort or support to be had from anybody.

As for dismissive-avoidant adults, they do not rely on others emotionally, and certainly do not want others to rely on them. It may show itself in being dismissive of others’ concerns, opinions, desires, or successes, and even of their own. I, for instance, saw people as simple living entities, and though I enjoyed the timely presence of many during my life, they were not meant to accompany me on my trip to nowhere.

When, long ago, accompanied by my daughter, I went to seek help from psychiatrists, they were not familiar with my disorder and simply played the blame game. Fortunately, because the internet came along, and because I was shocked when my daughter became estranged from me, I was motivated and able to self-diagnose my condition. Today, having known self-sufficient living on my uncle’s farm as a youth and having since self-diagnosed my attachment disorder, I quite clearly see that the FOMO generation I find myself in, breeds similar disorders in people. When an individual feels more comfortable with virtual friends on their smartphone rather than with flesh-and-blood ones by his or her side, it reeks of dismissive-avoidant behavior.

We can’t do anything about being unwanted at birth, but we can learn what a great world we live in and how easy it is to be happy doing what we love doing for a living. Today, in spite of my disorder which still lingers, in spite of having lost my daughter, and in spite of my advanced age, I can say that I have reached a kind of nirvana. So, in wanting to help those who want to achieve similar peace and enlightenment, I decided to simply answer the question my daughter asked, and all the others she would have probably liked to ask forty years ago, and maybe even some she would want to ask today.

What are boys like?

Let me start by saying that, at around thirteen years old, boys start thinking about girls, and