To Moscow,...By Trunk!

By Tomazo Pagonis

Agrafena Petrovna Volkonskaya, the widow of the former soviet port director in Rostov, comes to Moscow after the soviet union's collapse. She carries with her a trunk full of dollars that she inherited from her late husband. Agrafena dreams of being accepted into the high society of Moscow. She brings along a countrywoman, Tractarina Farsynkina, whom she hired as a lady of honours but uses as a general household helper. However, since Moscow's high society snubs her, Agrafena hires the famous director and acting coach, Dorotea Arsyengievich Tarkovskaya, to teach her "native Moscow ways."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tomazo Pagonis
• Release date: Feb 23, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224612499

Tomazo Pagonis

Ο Τομάζο Παγώνης γεννήθηκε στις αρχές της δεκαετίας του 60 στον Πειραιά, σπούδασε ναυτιλιακά στο Λονδίνο και έκτοτε προσέλαβε τον εαυτό του ως διαπραγματευτή ναυτιλιακών συμβάσεων, ενίοτε ως πλοιοκτήτη και συχνά ως διαχειριστή πλοίων. Γενικώς, του αρέσουν όσα και όσοι με κάποιον τρόπο επιπλέουν μεταφέροντας φορτία. Σαν χόμπι έχει την συγκριτική μελέτη των διαλυτηρίων του νου και της φύσης. Κατά καιρούς έχουν εκδοθεί κάποια μικρά διηγήματά του ενώ το 2010 παίχτηκε στο θέατρο Αλμα το θεατρικό έργο του "Αύριο πάλι".Thomas J. Pagonis, born in Pireas / Greece, has continued the family tradition and in 1980 he became the 2nd generation shipbroker of “Ploiki Maritime”. During his career he acquired experience in ship-owing, ship-management, international trade, claims and crisis management. He has published several articles in international and Greek maritime magazines and newspapers. He is a lecturer for Chartering since 1995 in the seminars organized by the Hellenic Shipbrokers Association (H.S.A.) as well as in chartering courses of various Shipping Colleges. In 2009 and in 2011 he was elected as Vice President of H.S.A and was honored to be the president of it’s Education Committee. Literature and theatre are his hobbies.

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Summary

Agrafena Petrovna Volkonskaya , the widow of the former soviet port director in Rostov, comes to Moscow after the soviet union's collapse. She carries with her a trunk full of dollars that she inherited from her late husband. Agrafena dreams of being accepted into the high society of Moscow. She brings along a countrywoman, Tractarina Farsynkina, whom she hired as a lady of honours but uses as a general household helper. However, since Moscow's high society snubs her, Agrafena hires the famous director and acting coach, Dorotea Arsyengievich Tarkovskaya, to teach her native Moscow ways.

A theatrical satire that takes place in Moscow at the beginning of the 21st century. 

Characters

Agrafena Petrovna Volkonskaya - Widow of Vladimir Masenikov, former port director of Rostov.

Tractarina Farsynkina - Villager. Sharp, not very talkative, and scheming.

Dorotea Arsenyevits Tarkoifskaya - Famous film director and acting coach. A native of Moscow by birth. Values money above anything else.

Nadezhda Konstantinovna Krupskaya - Actress, communist, and Soviet Union nostalgist. She admires Nikita Khrushchev.

Galina Timofeevna Nuzaetz - Modest and shy actress. Gets frightened easily...

Yekaterina Fiodorovich Velikaya - Aspiring actress who wants to become famous by playing the role of a queen. Believes she is a descendant of the Tsars and that her family will one day reclaim the throne and the titles.

Oksana Moskóvskiy Patriarkháta - Mysterious presence who moves among the audience and occasionally intervenes in the play's events.

Servant - Very young, dressed in livery.

2 Policemen - Young in age.

Scene one - pre-history

Absolute darkness. A young servant in livery is illuminated. He is holding a large clock in his hands. He turns the hands until it points to 12. The young man appears to be nervous. He keeps turning the hands until it points to 12 again and the sound of the clock striking midnight is heard. The young man looks to be satisfied...

Thriller music is heard, accompanied by lightnings, thunders, blowing of wind, creaking doors, and other freaking sounds.

A female figure is illuminated as she emerges onto the stage. We cannot see her face.  She is holding a large knife in her right hand. She reaches the centre of the stage and stabs a pillow on top of a trunk. She stabs two or three times only. However, a Dracula style voice from the speakers counts...

Afemale voice

One, two, three, twenty-seven!

The murderer departs, and the young man in livery picks up a diary that shows the months. He slowly and ceremoniously turns the pages, advancing 7-8 months ahead.

Darkness

Scene two - meeting her coach.

A room in bad taste but expensively furnished in a Russian style. Agrafena sits on a trunk. Both she and her maid, Tractarina, are wearing gaudy, colourful clothes and speak with a rustic accent.

Agrafena

Tractarina! You wretch!

Tractarina

Yes, ma'am Agrafena.

Agrafena

(glaring at her and grabbing a cane with a golden handle)

What?

Tractarina

I meant to say...at your orders, lady Agrafena Petrovna Volkonskaya. As you wish milady!

Agrafena

(trying to speak with a Moscow accent)

Oh, dear! Those wretches will never learn manners.

(continues with a rural accent)

Take a bunch of green bills from the drawer and go buy caviar.

Tractarina

All our bills are green, ma'am. Only the numbers change. Fifty, twenty, one hundred, ten...

Agrafena

Take the ones with the number one hundred on top.  And make sure the caviar is the expensive one. The one in the blue tins. Don't get the cheap, ... the fresh one; it's a disgrace. I won't have my guests think I am poor.

Tractarina

(muttering while she is leaving)

What a waste of the stolen money. The deceased straggled to steal it and the muscovite is turning it to luxuries...

Agrafena

(monologuing with a rural accent)

As soon as they recognize me as a true native muscovite, I’ll dismiss her. She steals my hard-earned money, and she is good for nothing. I'll hire a proper lady from Moscow.