Life IS a Game:: Life Lessons Learned Living The Rules for Being Human

By Chérie Carter-Scott Ph.D. MCC

Many yearn for a perfect life, with little to no stress, with total enduring health, loving relationships, opportunities, success, and unlimited happiness. Unfortunately, there aren’t many lessons to be learned from perfection. Lessons occur from overcoming adversity and from dealing effectively with disappointment, hurt, loss, trauma, and even tragedy.

In Life IS a Game, author Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott offers a narrative that showcases the anatomy of a life from the inside out. In 1998, she wrote If Life is a Game, These are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human which became a runaway bestseller on all the lists, and in 40 languages. Now, twenty-five years later, she’s written her life story in the context of the “Ten Rules for Being Human” and shares how they apply to challenges, breakdowns, breakthroughs, and victories.

Through a series of vignettes, Life IS a Game provides guidance for overcoming adversity and reframing your circumstances to imagine the value of challenges. Carter-Scott helps you look at life through the lens of enlightenment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Mar 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9781665755535

Chérie Carter-Scott Ph.D. MCC

Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott and her partner, Michael Pomije, are the only Master Certified Coaches who are married and teach, travel, and live together since 1990. They love each other more each day because they live what they teach: Transformational Executive Coach Certification; they are role models for people everywhere.

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Copyright © 2024 Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. MCC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-6657-5552-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-5554-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-5553-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024900820

Archway Publishing rev. date: 3/22/2024

In this shared human journey,

we might strive for distinction, superiority, or wealth,

but at our core, our desires are universal:

To love and be cherished,

To seek joy for our children and ourselves,

To enjoy health and well-being,

To find peace and harmony,

To attain satisfaction and purpose,

To lead lives of meaning and value,

To journey through life with few regrets,

And, ultimately, to leave a legacy to be remembered.

This is my story, 1949 until 2024.

Blessings,

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Acknowledgments

It is with heartfelt thanks that I extend my gratitude to everyone I have ever known … since everyone has taught me something about myself, about life, about being human.

I am deeply grateful to all of our students, mentors, licensees, and partners who have trusted us, believed in us, and allowed us to impart our experience, knowledge, and competence to them, with them, and through them.

I am grateful to be surrounded by people who love and support me, Michael, Lynnie, Joy, Heidi, Ying, our graduates, students, and dear friends around the world.

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I am blessed to be able to contribute to the lives of others.

I am honored to coach and train MMS Coaches in our TECC training that gives our participants back their lives and supports their happiness and well-being.

If you are reading this, know that you are sincerely appreciated and acknowledged for the contribution you have made to my life.

Contents

1Who Am I? (1949)

2Broadway Baby (1954 to the Present)

3When I Was Six (1955)

4Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Home (1950s–1960s)

5Charles Taught Me to Dream (1950–1956)

6Linda Was My Very First Coach (1957–1967)

7School Taught Me How to Cope (1955-1967)

8Awakening to Options and Choices (1963)

9Learning About Attachment (1963)

10Boarding School and Discovery of Growth Mindset (1963)

11Learning to Write from the Inside-Out (1964-1967)

12Illumination Leads to New Awareness (1965)

13When My Answer was Unacceptable (1964-1971)

14Mentors Show Up When Needed (1967-1969)

15Rejection Made Me Stronger (1969)

16Summer Vacation: Blessing or Challenge? (1967)

17The Following Summers (1968-1970)

18While in New York

19The End of an Era (1970)

20What Now? (1970)

21A New Opportunity Knocked at My Door (1971-72)

22Go West to Find Your Dream (1972)

23Time to Return to Trust (1973)

24Ask and You Shall Receive (1974)

25The End of Childhood (1974)

26Gifted or Ordinary? (1974)

27Analyzing my Capabilities (1974-75)

28Suspending Judgment

29Not knowing What is Best for Another

30Dreams Become Reality

31My Coaching Behaviors

32Unconscious Competent

33Chérie and Lynnie…the sisters (1974-present)

34Being Called for a Higher Purpose (1974)

35The 10 Rules for Being Human (1974-Present)

36MMS Self-Management Seminar (1974-1979)

37MMS Coach Training was Born (1974)

38Self-Esteem Workshop (SEW) & Inner Negotiation Workshop (INW) (1975)

39John Scott Showed Up (1976)

40The New Species Was Written (1977)

41Dorothea Came to Town (1978)

42Inner View, My San Francisco TV Talk Show (1979-1980)

43Inner Knowing vs. Obeying Others (1980)

44After Daddy Passed Away

45Choosing A Name (1981)

46Then There Were Four of Us (1981)

47An Unforgettable Day (1983)

48Living What We Teach

49Arrogance Turns Into Humility

50Bridge Building Across The Ocean (1983-1986)

51Expansion of MMS Coach Training (1979-1988)

52Expansion of MMS Corporate Division (1985-1988)

53Migration to Europe (1988… continuing on)

54Fielding Graduate University (1986-1994)

55Negaholics was Published (in 14 languages) (1989)

56I was on Oprah with Negaholics (1989)

57How I met Michael (1990)

58Lynnie and I Moved to Santa Barbara (1989-1992)

59The Corporate Negaholic was Published (1991)

60National Seminars Group (NSG) Became a Licensee (1991)

61Inner View Was Created (1993)

62Michael and I Were Married (August 28, 1993)

63Professional Keynote Speeches (1991-1998)

64Oprah Winfrey Praised If Life is a Game (1998)

65Learning to Fly (1958-1988)

66If Love is a Game, These are the Rules was Published (1999)

67If Success is a Game, These are the Rules was Published by Broadway Books (2001)

68Flying Cross Country (2001)

69If High School is a Game, Here’s How to Break the Rules: A Cutting Edge Guide to Becoming Yourself, Published by Random House Children’s Books in 2002

70The Gift of Motherhood was Written (2002) and Published by Broadway Books

71Transformational Life Coaching (2007) was published, which is the first co-authored coaching book by us two sisters: Lynnie Stewart and Chérie Carter-Scott

72Bali Breakthrough (2006)

73Life Coaching Cards

74Transition to Europe (2003-2017)

75Virtual Training, First Remote Option (2007-8)

76The Untold Story, Our Family Documentary Produced (2009)

77A New Business Model (2010-)

78International Coaching Federation Accreditation and Certification (2013)

79Jennifer and Michael Lythcott Become Married (2018)

80LEAP Documentary Film on Coaching (2017-2018)

81Asia Focus: Bangkok (2015-2020)

82The Workshop: A Dress Rehearsal for Life, Musical Produced (2014-2019)

83Revelations From My Medical Crisis (2022)

84Traveling to Thailand (2022)

85Return to Southeast Asia (January 27, 2023)

86My Life’s Calling

87Our MMS Global Partners and Licensees as of 2024

Foreword 1

I’m writing this forward because I love this book!

I have known Dr. Chérie longer than anyone on the planet.

I am her older sister and I’ve watched her life evolve over the last seven decades.

I love the premise: it’s simple, honest, vulnerable, and authentic.

It connects us to our humanity.

In addition, we are presented with questions at the end of every vignette to reflect on our lives.

The reasons you might read Life IS a Game:

• You loved The Rules for Being Human

• You loved If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

• You might be curious to see how the author learned her lessons

• You might value a template for living

• You might find peace in the midst of confusion.

• You might shift from blaming to owning.

• You might move from victim to victorious.

• You might evolve from judging to compassion.

• You could be inspired to write your own memoir.

If you want to reflect on your journey to making sense out of what has happened to you, then Dr. Chérie’s Life IS a Game is definitely the book for you!

Lynn U. Stewart, MCC

MMS Board Member & Executive Coach & Mentor

Sister/Partner to the author

Foreword 2

Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott is not just an author; she’s an alchemist of words. With a unique ability to simplify the complicated, she has made profound subjects accessible and relatable to a huge global audience. In Life IS a Game, she masterfully bridges her life’s lessons with profound reflections. In Life IS a Game, Chérie unravels the moments that reshaped her world, sparking growth, awareness, and invaluable insights. She doesn’t just recount events, she bares her soul, sharing her vulnerabilities, her breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the pivotal shifts she embraced to reinvent her life.

If you have been questioning the world in which we live, wondering what has been happening to you, or the value of what transpires, then this is the book for you. Life IS a Game is a narrative that showcases the anatomy of a life from the inside out. If you want to read how you could overcome adversity, reframe your circumstances to imagine the value of challenges, or if you want to look at life through the lens of enlightenment, then you must immerse yourself in this book.

Her famous 10 Rules for Being Human written in 1974, has circumnavigated the globe, with translations in 40 languages. These Rules are not just words, but the pillars upon which she has built her life’s work. In addition to that, she is the #1 New York Times Best Selling Author of If Life is a Game, These are the Rules, Negaholics, Transformational Life Coaching, and 16 additional book titles. Chérie’s work is not just timely but timeless. Chérie didn’t just teach me – she reshaped my destiny. Dr. Chérie’s memoir walks you through the personal evolution of a celebrity author who has been a frequent guest on Oprah and who has been teaching executives globally for 50 years.

If you want to get started on your journey of making sense out of the events in your life, then this is definitely the book for you!

Michael A. Pomije, MCC

Global Director MMS Worldwide Institute, LLC

Soul mate/Partner to Dr. Chérie

Preface

Many decades ago, I read The Speed of Light by Gwyneth Cravens. In that book there was a story that impressed me a lot. Here is the excerpt that I am referring to:

There was a young girl from Morocco whose father was a spinner. He became prosperous in his craft and took her with him on a voyage in the Mediterranean. He wanted to sell his thread and told his daughter that she should also look for a young man who would make her a good husband.

But a storm caused the ship to flounder near Egypt, killing the father and casting the daughter ashore. Miserable and exhausted, the girl wandered in the sand until she finally met a family of weavers. They took her in and taught her how to make cloth. Eventually she became content.

But after a few years, she was captured by slavers who then sailed East to Istanbul and took her to its slave market. A man who made ships’ masts went to the market to buy slaves to help him with his work. When he noticed the girl, he took pity on her, bought her, and took her home to serve his wife.

But pirates stole the cargo he invested in, and he was unable to buy the other slaves. He, the girl, and his wife had to make all the masts themselves. The mast maker found the girl to be so capable that he eventually granted her freedom and made her a partner in his business.

One day he asked her to accompany a shipment of masts to Java. She agreed, but off the coast of China the ship was struck by a typhoon. Again, she was washed up on a strange seashore, and again she cried out against fate Why do these bad things keep happening to me? she asked. No answer came. She got up out of the sand and started walking inland.

There was a legend in China that a foreign woman would appear and make a tent for the emperor. Because nobody in China knew how to make tents, the whole population, including one generation of emperors after another, wondered about this prediction. Once a year, the emperor sent out emissaries to every town to bring all the foreign women to the royal court.

In due course, the shipwrecked woman arrived before the emperor, who asked her through an interpreter if she could make a tent. I think I can, she said. She asked for rope, but the Chinese had none, and so, recalling her girlhood as the daughter of a spinner, she asked for silk and spun it into rope. She asked for thick cloth, but the Chinese had none, and so, recalling her life among the weavers, she wove the kind of cloth used for tents. She asked for tent poles, but the Chinese had none, and so, recalling her life with the mast maker, she made tent poles.

When she had all these things ready, at last she put together a tent. The emperor marveled at the construction, and at the fulfillment of the old prophecy, and offered her whatever she wished. She married a handsome prince, remained in China surrounded by her children, and lived to a happy old age. And she realized that although her adventures had seemed terrible when they were happening, they turned out to be essential for her ultimate happiness.

The girl in the story saw, in hindsight, the magical connections in all of her dreadful circumstances. She was able to connect the dots and see the perfection in the grand scheme of things. While it is not always easy for us to view our situations from a macro perspective, it is essential in order to find the value in everything, especially in what appear to be unfortunate circumstances.

When I read this story, I was