You Are Who You Sleep With: A Decision That Rocks the World

By Pastor Sandra Blake Toles

WHY HAS THE ACT OF SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL ONE OF THE MOST CELEBRATED, FASCINATING, CONFUSING, TALKED ABOUT, AND POTENTIALLY DAMAGING CHOICE THAT ONE WILL MAKE IN A LIFETIME?

You Are Who You Sleep With answers your most provocative questions regarding sexual intercourse and explains why and how the choices you make will c

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jun 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798890417916

Pastor Sandra Blake Toles

Pastor Sandra Blake Toles began her ministry in Spangdahlem, Germany in 1964. She was licensed and ordained in 1968, but the late Bishop C.C. Cox. Sandra founded and established Love Center Unlimited in 1979. She graduated with honors from UNLV. She has served her community over the years at many different levels and through many different organizations. Sandra is the developer and founder of safety seat device Remember Baby and is also the author of the book, Remember Baby.

Book preview

tcp_toles-572n_front-cover.jpg

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2024 by Sandra Blake Toles.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

For information, address Trilogy Christian Publishing

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.ISBN 979-8-89041-790-9

ISBN 979-8-89041-791-6 (ebook)

If God made anything better than sex, he kept it for himself, by Robert Toles.

DEDICATION

Bob Toles, my beloved late husband.

This book is dedicated to all women who have questioned their choices of sleeping partners, who were forced into sexual relations, or who may be contemplating engaging in sex for all the wrong reasons and without the blessing of matrimony.

It is my aspiration that this book will raise our societal consciousness; educate its readers by relating true, if distressing, interviews with young women who discovered the pain, agony, and heartbreak brought about because of their choices in sleeping partners.

Our time is now to inform, educate, enlighten, and discuss sex with our young women in a way that will assist them in making wise and godly choices about whom they sleep with.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First, my thanks and praises to my Lord Jesus Christ for His indomitable inspiration in bringing to my attention the need to author this book about the most misunderstood, yet widely celebrated and elevated, phenomena today.

I offer my sincere appreciation and personal gratitude to the people who have been instrumental in the completion of this book. My loving and supportive husband Robert H. Toles, for without his patience, endurance, and encouragement I would not have been able to complete this work. What is more, it was my husband who suggested the cover image for this book.

Special thanks also to my friend Wanda Beckett, who listened attentively as I shared what was divinely given, and to my dear sister, Nettie Watkins, who so kindly edited my first draft. Moreover, to Flo Self, a dear friend, who edited my final draft.

A debt of gratitude to the women who allowed me to use their stories relative to the subject matter and the encouragement they offered me in pursuing the writing of this book, especially when doubt and despair visited me often.

Introduction

Why has the act of sleeping with another individual become one of the most celebrated, fascinating, confusing, talked about, and potentially damaging choices that one will make in a lifetime?

How did it come about?

Who said it is acceptable?

What is its purpose?

Why is it taboo to engage in sex before marriage?

Who says I cannot sleep with anyone I choose?

Who can tell me what I can or cannot do with my body, since it belongs to me?

Such questions as these have perplexed women since the beginning of time, particularly the young ladies of today’s highly sophisticated society.

This book will offer answers to your most provocative questions regarding sexual intercourse, why and how the choices you make pertaining to this matter will change your life forever.

Furthermore, it will inform, educate, and enlighten the reader while serving as a catalyst to bring about change in the way you view sex.

Our target audience is young women from eighteen to thirty-five, as well as teenage girls from thirteen to seventeen who may not yet be engaged in a sexual relationship but are seriously contemplating one, and those otherwise engaged, trapped, and seeking a way out.

As you read this story, it will provoke you to do some serious thinking about your way of life, your sexual liaisons, and dramatically influence future choices that you will make regarding your preference of sleeping partners.

The choice you make today regarding who you sleep with is the most crucial decision you will ever entertain as it will alter drastically your God given destiny or prevent you from its fulfillment.

In a quest to present answers to your questions regarding sex, I chose to direct you to one of the oldest, most informative, and tell all books that I have ever had the privilege of reading and studying, the Bible. This book’s position on the New York Times Bestseller list is longer than any other publication known to man and is read by more people than any other book ever penned.

The author further seeks to reveal and offer answers to these questions by briefly highlighting the sex lives of Adam and Eve while scrutinizing the lives of characters in one of the most famous and beloved biblical stories of all times—that of Abraham, the father of many nations, Sarah (his wife), and her slave Hagar.

In addition, compelling and heart-wrenching interviews from present-day women lend credence to the subject matter. Women from truly diverse backgrounds, ages, and socioeconomic status agreed to share some of their most intimate moments and times in their existence. They tell how the choices of who they slept with, or were forced to sleep with, affected their lives profoundly, distorted their past, present, and future. The participant’s identities shall remain anonymous to protect their privacy.

Not only did their choices or sexual experiences affect them, but also the trickle-down effect influenced their children and all other relationships in their lives. While the author strongly supports the Word of God relative to this subject matter, this in no way qualifies me to serve as judge, jury, or executioner.

Nevertheless, I believe the times in which we live dictates that we focus on a grossly misunderstood and highly visible social epidemic that has modified the beauty of what the Creator desired for His creation, and produced chaos that in some cases is irreversible.

Moreover, a poem submitted by a young lady shed more light on this subject matter.

Additionally, there is a supplement section to inform and educate readers as to what God’s Word and position are regarding sex. Unfortunately, this is not a kitchen table discussion that our women and teenage girls hear enough and are taught about in our contemporary society.

It is my prayer that by focusing on the principles of God’s Word as it relates to sex outside of marriage will serve as a critical point and offer opportunities to alter one’s lifestyle according to the purpose and will of the Creator.

This style of writing is in the present tense and written in modern-day language, as the author believes the biblical characters may have spoken and thought in their day. The origin of the story finds its basis in biblical principles. Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible as well as the Zondervan Amplified Bible.

YOU ARE WHO YOU SLEEP WITH

ADAM AND EVE

Since every event in life has a beginning and an ending, I chose to start at the beginning. It was during the creative process that the Heavenly Father made man in His own likeness and image, saying that man should not be alone but needed a companion. Therefore, God created a woman out of the man’s rib and called their name Adam. He placed them together into a virtual paradise of the beautiful garden called Eden, giving them dominion over all living things.

In this very magnificent and unique setting, God gave man his first and most important command, You may eat of all the trees in this garden save for the tree of good and evil, for the day that you eat of this tree you shall surely die.¹ God follows this command with one of equal significance: Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it (Genesis 2). It is abundantly clear that the origin and authority for male and female to engage in sexual intercourse was given by the Creator with a specific purpose: to reproduce and replenish the earth.

It is noteworthy that although Adam did not obey God’s first command not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil—because if he did, he would most certainly die—he wasted no time in adhering to, and fulfilling, God’s command to have sex with his wife, Eve. The Bible records that Adam had sex with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. Once again, Adam had sex with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain’s brother, Abel.

The Bible stipulates God honors the sanctity of the marriage bed and blesses this sexual union. He strongly advocates this relationship. Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled. God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

Are you wondering, as I am, if Adam and Eve are true examples of how the Lord views and sanctions sexual relationships? And if so, then why are we experiencing a world that is very obsessed with having sex of any persuasion and with anyone that we choose? Why has sex been elevated to the most discussed and celebrated topic of today, more prominent than God? How is it that we have transgressed so far from the Heavenly Father’s intent and purpose?

ABRAM AND SARAI’S DECISION

(A Decision That Yet Rocks the World)

ABRAM

The book of Genesis gives us an intimate and chilling account of an Inside Edition excerpt into the bedroom of Abram, the holy man, chosen by God to be