2024 Before Democracy: Democracy Series, #1

By Tyler True

Anthropologist Theodore Hansen discovers a magical plant in the Amazon rainforest that has the potential to both heal and destroy society. He steals a cutting from the indigenous guardians of the plant and clones enough of it to sell to the world, becoming one of the richest humans alive.

After witnessing the corruption and greed from the most powerful governments and pharmaceutical companies on earth, he decides to use his vast fortune to start a political revolution that truly gives the power to the people...despite the danger to himself and his family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tyler True
• Release date: Apr 29, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224786237

Tyler True

I was born in 1980 in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. I mainly write screenplays but I had to tell my life story and writing this book was definitely the most fun I've had as a writer. I've done many jobs including scuba diving for fish farms and aquariums, pilot in the Air Force and I also have a degree in Psychology.

Book preview

Part One––––––––The Plant

Introduction

What would you sacrifice in order to accomplish your dreams? What if that dream involved changing the world at the risk of losing everything you love? Most people will never be given such an ultimatum; but for humanity to take the next step, individuals on this planet have always, and will always, make those sacrifices.

This is a story that tells of such a sacrifice. To be clear, it will be told and not shown, since there is an immense amount that needs to be shared and showing it all as it happened through a specific lens would take far too long. Humanity desperately needs to know of this story as it provides the framework to create a better world, and time is running out in that regard.

Theodore Hansen had no idea what sacrifice really meant when he hopped in the four-seater Bushmaster airplane for a three-hour flight over the Amazon rainforest, and then strapped in for another six-hour journey in a beat-up old Jeep Wrangler.

His phone and any other electronic devices had to be left behind at his hotel, lest he be tracked. It was the first time he had completely untethered himself from society, and it was both a terrifying and exhilarating feeling.

Theo was an anthropologist and assistant professor at a large university. Four months prior to that Jeep ride, he was in Sao Paulo, Brazil, for a conference exploring the impacts of western society on indigenous peoples of North and South America. That’s where he met up with Carlos, an old friend who’d done a semester with him in undergraduate school.

Carlos Silva had a special interest in the indigenous cultures of Brazil as his mother had left the jungle for urban life as a teenager. She’d had a dream in which the ancestors told her to leave the tribe and join a different world. She’d always felt there was more to life than to be given to a man, not of her choice, and relegated to a life of servitude.

So, at four months pregnant, she hiked for 60 days alone through the jungle and walked confidently into a small town—she’d never seen humans like that except in her dream. The Brazilian government gave her a new name, shelter, and language lessons. They also helped with the birth of Carlos. She got a job as a housekeeper and raised Carlos in the new world, while teaching him of the old.

Carlos studied hard, realizing that education was a way out of poverty, and was accepted into the ultra-competitive University of Sao Paulo. Indigenous cultures of the rainforest were of special interest to Carlos because his mother not only taught him their people’s language, but also told him stories that she wasn’t supposed to share.

Stories of a magical plant that only her tribe had access to. He was skeptical of her fantastical stories, but it did spur him into getting a doctorate in anthropology with a focus on researching indigenous cultures of South America.

Carlos was often dismissed or ignored by other academics in Brazil, as was sometimes the case for indigenous populations in many countries. But North Americans treated him differently—as all Brazilians were equally stigmatized, and there was no difference if you looked Spanish, African, or indigenous. Carlos was given the opportunity to take part in a student exchange program at the University of British Columbia, and that’s where he met Theo.

Theo had never met an indigenous person from the rainforest, and he was fascinated by Carlos’ story. It wasn’t a condescending or pitying interest, and Carlos could tell that Theo genuinely respected him and his path to academia. Plus, Theo could help him with his English.

They became close friends and kept in touch for the 10 years after Carlos left Canada. When Theo came to Sao Paulo for the conference, they spent the first night together having way too many drinks. That night, Carlos told Theo something that he'd not told anyone in his entire life. He could have done incredible things with his career and made obscene amounts of money, but he’d kept this secret.

He’d spent his university’s money with promises of an incredible discovery and always came back empty—it actually ruined his career. He would never get another research grant and was relegated to lectures to bored kids staring at their phones.

He would never understand why his most sacred secret came out of his mouth that night with Theo; whispered into his ear over the loud music so that their phones couldn’t record the conversation. None of it made any sense upon retrospection, but there could be no doubt that this innocuous slip of the tongue led to profound changes in society.

Once Theo heard Carlos’ story, he extended his stay in Brazil for another week in order to convince Carlos to take him to this tribe, ‘the Dream Tribe,’ as Carlos called them. Carlos wouldn’t relent, but neither would Theo.

Theodore Hansen gave his solemn word that he’d never tell another soul of what he experienced. He gave a heartfelt speech about his boredom in life, his lack of motivation, and his general ambivalence about being alive. More importantly, he wanted more than anything to speak to his deceased parents, whom he’d lost at a young age. It hit a cord with Carlos, and he gave in.

Theo offered to sign a nondisclosure agreement and to pay for everything, something that caused a rare argument with his wife, Angela. Carlos said Theo’s word was enough, and four months later, they were trekking through the jungle.

Carlos had previously convinced his university to pay for three trips to study his mother’s tribe, which was yet to make contact with the outside world, and he'd always gone alone.

He’d convinced the grant committee to allow such an undertaking because the tribe was his family, and he spoke their language. If they didn’t pay for it, then he’d do it on his own and they wouldn’t be able to take any credit for the discoveries. They relented on the promise that he follow strict guidelines.

Carlos had actually found them relatively quickly, thanks to the knowledge of his mother, who wanted him to meet his father and also use the plant.

She’d spent hundreds of hours in the forest with a young Carlos to teach him their ways, so he was comfortable living off the land for the couple of months of searching that it took. But he never told his peers what he’d found; he couldn’t, not after what he experienced. He couldn’t do it to those people, whom he’d become bonded with. His father had revealed himself on the third visit, but they were aliens to each other, and they had a subdued relationship. Regardless, they were all his family.

Carlos had known that the tribe chased off or killed anyone who penetrated their perimeter, but he had a plan. It was a plan that violated every code of ethics he’d been taught, and also the promise he’d given to his university. He didn’t think this counted because it was not some unknown tribe; it was his family.

So, he disregarded the ethos of non-interference and brought walkie-talkies with him. When the tribe’s warriors inevitably chased him away without listening to a word he'd said in their language, he left one of the radios on the ground. When he was no longer being chased, he spoke into the radio.

He spent two days talking into the transmitter until they eventually worked out how to talk back. They’d thought Carlos was a voice from the spirit world even after he told them his story. They’d assumed spirits had taken his mother, and perhaps this man was there to guide them in a world that was becoming increasingly difficult to remain hidden. More importantly, the ancestors in the dream had warned them that a lost member would come back and to accept him when he did.

They welcomed Carlos as one of their own, and he came back to them two or three times a year. He debated living with them permanently, but he’d become spoiled by the comforts of modern society; plus, he wouldn’t do that to his mother.

The Dream Tribe let him come and go, which went against their most sacred rule because he brought them goodies from his world that they became dependent on. He also gave them maps showing safe places in the jungle for them to live, away from hostile forces that were quickly closing in on them with chainsaws and cattle.

They always told him before he left the general location where they would be for his next visit; a handful of areas where they were growing cassava. He’d come to them for almost eight years before he betrayed their trust.

Theo could have signed a nondisclosure agreement, and perhaps none of what was to take place would have happened. But Carlos considered Theo a friend, and a friend would never lie about something so serious as their word. Some would call Carlos naive, but you’d have to understand where thoughts and behaviors come from to understand why he did what he did—he didn’t really have a choice in the matter as it had already been decided.

Carlos didn’t know exactly where the Dream Tribe would be, and he’d warned Theo many times that they might not find them. He also told Theo that he would likely be killed, at least a 60% chance of it, anyway.

Theo had been asking for death for almost two decades of his life, and the Universe had never abided; he knew he wouldn’t get off that easily, so he was willing to take the chance. Plus, he lived for adventure and risk—it was the only thing that made him feel alive in his uninspired world.

When his life was on the line, it was really the only time he focused. As a younger man, he loved to rock climb, sometimes unclipping the safety rope and free climbing while ignoring the protests from his climbing partner. He also loved cliff diving and would often jump before testing the water’s depth.

He never told people that he used to drink and drive, but he only became really reckless when by himself and on deserted roads. Of course, that was before he had something to go home to. Still, the death wish lingered, and this journey into the jungle didn’t scare him. 

After three nights camping in the rainforest, Theo would have gladly taken death. It wasn’t just the stifling humidity and the constant danger lurking in every bush and tree; it was the mosquitoes. Theo had been born and raised in Vancouver, British Columbia, and he preferred the mild climate that had very little in terms of biting insects—he’d been pampered his entire life. He didn’t know how much longer he could stay out there.

Not to mention, the full moon was just a couple of days away, and Carlos said if they missed that, then they would have to wait another month. If Theo had known what he was about to experience, he could have easily spent years living in such miserable conditions. But that’s the worst part about the unknown—you never know where the line of tolerance should start or end.

On the day of the full moon even Carlos seemed to have given up. He told Theo that the trip was likely a failure, and they’d have to leave the next morning. Carlos had warned this could happen but it didn’t prevent that sick feeling in Theo’s stomach of what this had cost him and the fights with his wife that it had caused. More importantly, he hungered for the unbelievable experience Carlos had teased.

Then, after a couple more hours of dejected walking, they heard a single bird call followed by a series of bird calls. Carlos stopped dead in his tracks and searched the dense forest. Theo questioned him, and Carlos told him to be quiet.

Bushes in the distance rustled, and three naked men with small bows and arrows came into view. They had reddish brown skin, red paint, and bowl-cut hairstyles that Theo was well acquainted with. What truly stuck out were the watches on their wrists and the walkie-talkies in their hands, despite having already been warned about this.

They spoke harshly with Carlos, who was clearly trying to appease them. They made gestures towards Theo, who tried to seem as non-threatening as possible by averting his eyes, and they sounded angry. After a few minutes, the men walked back the way they came, and the trespassers followed.

Carlos told Theo they'd asked why he’d brought a white demon. He told them this white demon was trying to keep other white demons away and that he was a friend. Theo didn’t know what to say to that. He often gave lectures on indigenous peoples being allowed to keep their land and continue with their cultures, but he knew it was all pointless.

There was no stopping capitalism or the progress of advanced societies. Indigenous people of the Americas hadn’t even developed written language at the time of European settlement—they didn’t stand a chance. To those with the power to take, these people were simply wild animals that were in the way.

Carlos told Theo they were being taken to their shaman, and he would decide whether to kill him. Theo questioned whether he should turn around, but his legs kept moving forward; his mind apparently not giving him a choice in the matter.

They walked for 20 minutes through dense jungle with the tribe’s guards leading them. They weren’t allowed to clear a path with their machetes and the going was slow. They eventually reached a small hidden camp protected by large trees. There were about 30 naked tribe members who were gathered and waiting for them, already warned of their arrival with the two-way radios.

Babies were suckling on breasts, and toddlers were clinging to the legs of adults. None were looking at Carlos, and all seemed fascinated, if not slightly frightened, by Theo. The warriors had seen white men before, but the regular tribe members certainly hadn’t.

A man stomped confidently through the crowd as they parted for him. He wore elaborate jewelry of colorful stones and was older than most. He also had a headdress made of bright feathers. He came face to face with Carlos and spoke with an angry tone. As Carlos spoke back, the man looked Theo up and down.

Carlos spoke quickly, and as he did, the shaman grabbed Theo’s hand and looked at the watch on his wrist. The man spoke back to Carlos—he wanted Theo’s watch. Theo informed them that it was his father’s watch, and he'd brought many other watches to give to them, along with a large bag of batteries for the walkie-talkies.

Theo started to take his backpack off when suddenly the men of the tribe yelled and pointed their spears and notched arrows to their bows. Theo slowly lowered his bag to the ground. He then opened a compartment and took out a few inexpensive watches. The shaman wanted the nice watch—how he could tell the difference between the 10-dollar knockoffs was a bit baffling.

Either way, Theo had a choice to make: what was this memento worth? Did he come all that way and spend a significant chunk of his savings to lose it all over a dead man’s watch? If he said no, were they just going to kill him anyway? Were they going to kill him even if he gave up the watch? Not really much of a choice and he handed it over. He figured whatever happened was out of his hands at that point.

Other men of the tribe rushed forward and took watches that Theo gave them. Apparently, the cheap watches Carlos always brought didn’t last long in the humid jungle—something he counted on to be needed and invited back. He hadn’t been to see them due to financial constraints for over a year, so the tribe was eager for more goodies.

They especially got excited over the bag of batteries. Clearly, these people had seen the enormous benefits of knowing the exact time and not having to waste it with approximations. The benefits of the walkie-talkies in defending the tribe went without saying.

A threat of violence was quickly replaced by jubilation. Women brought food to them (snake, tarantula, and forest fruits), and Carlos laughed while conversation flowed smoothly. He mussed up a child’s hair and gave him a high-five, something that Carlos had clearly taught him. After the excitement had passed and Carlos had eased everyone’s mind about this strange-looking visitor, it was time to start the ritual.

Night had fallen. There was a full moon, and that’s when they did their dream ritual.

Theo had seen the plants, three of them, that were carried around in baskets made of leaves and vines. Each had an armed guard on them at all times. Holes had been dug in the forest floor and two of those plants had been put in the ground. Carlos had been told that these plants no longer existed anywhere in the world—to the tribe, the entire world was the rainforest.

They’d carried around these plants for as far back as the stories went. Their ancestors had destroyed the entire species and only kept these three plants, which they protected with their lives—these people were the anointed guardians. Their entire existence involved keeping these plants alive while preventing anyone else from taking them.

The stories told of bloody battles fought over the plants, of entire tribes being lost to sleep sickness when they refused to do anything else but live in the dream world. It took a great amount of willpower to exist with this plant, and these people took it as an honor that they were the chosen ones—every one of them would give up their lives to protect it.

The fact that Carlos had ever convinced the tribe to allow him, a foreigner (albeit having their blood in his veins), to partake in this sacred event was somewhat odd. Shiny watches and walkie-talkies aside, this was as serious as life or death to these people. It could have been the lure of technology, that addictive pull to an easier and more convenient life, or it could have been the messages from the dream world—it was likely a bit of both.

During the ritual, a group of 12, consisting of men, women, and children, laid on a crudely constructed platform of bamboo. They had their heads all touching and their feet fanning out in a circle. Another tribe member carefully stepped in between them and put a small part of a leaf in their mouths. Within a few seconds, that person fell asleep and couldn’t be woken up for another seven and half hours (give or take 30 minutes). That same process happened to three different groups, with dozens of unseen men standing guard throughout a large perimeter. The guards would rotate out every month.

Apparently, it had happened in the past that other tribes would wait for this moment to attack and try to get the plant for themselves, so 24/7 guard duty was part of their responsibilities. An attack hadn’t happened in this tribe’s lifetime, but they remained vigilant, nonetheless.

After everyone who was supposed to take the plant had taken it, including the shaman, a guard brought two leaves over to Carlos and Theo. Theo was close to having a panic attack, which hadn’t happened since he was a teenager, and he had to use the techniques he’d learned to calm himself down.

He would picture his mother and father hugging in the kitchen. It was the only image he could still conjure of them. His heart didn’t slow down, but he knew he’d passed the worst of it. As the tribe member put the piece of plant in his mouth, Carlos told Theo he would never be the same after.

Theo had taken multiple drugs in his life, and every time he tried a new one, it was a nervous feeling. But being out in the middle of nowhere, far from any doctors or ambulances, took it to another level.

Theo chewed the leaf—it was very bitter. Didn’t that usually mean it shouldn’t be eaten? Within a couple of seconds, he could feel sleep coming. How was that possible with his heart going 160 beats a minute? He couldn’t open his eyes at that point if he’d tried. He let the drug take over, trusting his friend that he’d wake up tomorrow...that he’d never be the same. Little did he know that the world would never be the same.

Chapter 1

Does anybody enjoy hearing about someone else’s dreams? Probably not many. Luckily for you, this is not a story about dreams. Dreams don’t mean anything in the real world. This is a story about what happened after Theo woke up.

There was one side effect to taking this drug—it made the user groggy the next day. There was no headache, no nausea, and no permanent damage to any organs—it just produced a brain fog for a few hours.

Theo woke up and it took a minute to get his bearings. He was back in the forest. Where? Why? Another half minute, and he remembered it all. It was an incredibly disorienting feeling coming out of it, from something that felt completely real to what was actually real. But there was a difference, and once he woke up completely, he knew what the difference was. It was like the other world was seen through a haze.

But forget about the vivid dream; what about that feeling? The immense pleasure he felt while half-sleeping left his body quickly upon fully waking, and he wanted it back.

He jumped out of his hammock and went to where Carlos slept. He waved a hand over his face, and a nearby guard, who was beside the solo potted plant, yelled at him while making a shooing motion with his hand. Carlos slowly opened his eyes.

CARLOS: See, still alive.

THEO: ALIVE?! I’ve never felt this alive!

They both laughed with childish giddiness. Carlos was finally able to share this experience with someone from his world other than his mother, who would not go back to the tribe due to fear of being held against her will. How she was able to just give up the plant was astounding to him.

CARLOS: You enjoyed it then?

THEO: Enjoyed it? It was...

Theo didn’t know how to finish his sentence as he smiled and closed his eyes.

CARLOS: Yes, I know. Impossible. Magical.

THEO: It came and went so fast. Was it real or just a dream?

CARLOS: I sometimes wonder if there’s a difference.

THEO: I spoke to my mom, like, a real conversation. I remember every word vividly. She said it was necessary that they leave me, and they knew I could handle it. You can’t imagine what it means to me to see her again. I didn’t know how badly I needed to see her.

Theo laughed, and tears of joy came down his face, which he quickly wiped away. Carlos smiled and nodded, but he didn’t completely understand what had happened to Theo. Carlos didn’t have the same blockages or emotional injuries in his energy flow that Theo had.

It was like a large mudbank had finally broken down, and the river was now flowing freely. Theo had no idea how powerfully that river would eventually flow inside of him, all he knew was that his energy felt different. He felt alive for the first time.

THEO: And then after the dream, that feeling, the intense pleasure! My nerves are tingling just thinking about it! Carlos, the whole world needs to experience this!

Carlos quickly sat up and got out of his hammock. Ecstasy gave way to panic.

CARLOS: I told you before we came out here that this was for you and you alone.

THEO: But why? Why should they be the only ones to have it?

CARLOS: Because they say it destroys worlds!

The guard with the plant watched them with weariness, and they lowered their voices.

THEO: That’s a tad hyperbolic. If anything, this would help the world!

CARLOS: You gave me your word, and that should be all that matters.

THEO: You’re right. I’m sorry. I just...I want to share this with Angela.

CARLOS: You’re not going to be able to keep this secret, are you? I was so stupid. We must leave.

THEO: No, Carlos, it’s okay; I’m just a little excited. I’ll keep my promise to you—I won’t tell anyone about The Dream Tribe.

Theo had always been very clear about his promise to Carlos—he wouldn’t tell anyone about the tribe. He was careful not to say he wouldn’t tell anyone about the plant. Perhaps it was the fact that English was Carlos’s third language, or perhaps it was the fact that Carlos had been destined to share this plant with Theo, but he never caught on to Theo’s deception until it was far too late.

Carlos nodded solemnly, and then a panic broke out where the other tribe members had been sleeping. Everyone awake rushed over to the commotion, including Carlos. Theo was left standing with the guard by the potted plant. A tribe member stepped away from the group and called to the guard, who ran over to them with grave concern.

Theo didn’t want to get in their way, so he stayed where he was. And then there was one thought on his mind, and it came so suddenly and violently that his limbs moved without any command from his brain. Before he knew what he was doing, he was beside the plant. He quickly took a knife out from a sheath at his waist and bent down. No time to look to see if anyone was watching; he would either get away with it, or he’d be dead.

He cut a small leaf and stem from the top of the plant; it was more like a vine than a stem. The entire plant was very plain looking—like a hundred other plants and trees out there. It actually looked like a money tree with one thick vine as the stem.

The cutting he got from the plant was two inches big. He quickly walked away and carefully put the prize in his cargo pants pocket. When he got enough distance from the plant, he turned back to the commotion. Nobody was watching him, and he exhaled in relief. There were screams of agony coming from the group as Carlos rushed back to him.

CARLOS: Somebody didn’t wake up. It was one of their elders.

THEO: What? I thought you said this was safe.

CARLOS: They say this has never happened, but there are stories from before.

The guard who’d rushed to the crowd came back, yelling and pointing at Theo. Theo’s stomach instantly went into his throat; someone saw him do it and they were going to kill him. The shaman arrived, and Carlos spoke in a calming voice.

The guard was furious. He pointed at Theo and then at the forest as he yelled. The shaman said something.

CARLOS: His father didn’t wake up. He says you are a curse. The ancestors also just told the shaman to never allow you to return. We must leave now.

Theo didn’t argue and they both quickly packed up their bags. All the while, the tribe argued and yelled amongst each other. Talk about a buzzkill for Theo.

CARLOS: They’re arguing over whether to kill you to appease the ancestors.

THEO: Tell them...please don’t.

After Carlos spoke, they quieted down.

THEO: That worked?

CARLOS: I told them if they kill you, the forest will be full of white demons, and they will hunt them all down and take their God from them.

The tribesmen gripped their spears and bows. Theo tried not to look at them as he quickly zipped up his bag and got the hell out of there, careful not to damage the stolen miracle in his pocket. He kept telling himself that he was justified in taking it since the shaman had taken his father’s watch. Pettiness was now just another trait added to Theo’s list of flaws.

It only took a day of fast walking to get to a path and out of the thick forest. When Carlos wasn’t looking, Theo filled his backup water container with dirt from the forest floor—he figured the sapling would have the best chance of rooting in the soil it was accustomed to.

For the entire walk, Theo vacillated between thoughts of getting an arrow in his back and his next steps for getting this sapling to take root as quickly as possible.

It just so happens that Theo had a decent amount of knowledge about cloning plants. He’d grown marijuana in college, and like everything he did, he didn’t go into it blindly. He’d spent months learning about horticulture before sprouting his first seed, and that knowledge would now suit him well.

He knew the cutting needed to stay moist; so, when they stopped at a creek not long after leaving the tribe, Theo inconspicuously soaked a spare shirt from his bag in the water. He then wrapped the sapling in it.

During the walk, they talked nonstop about what they just experienced and what Carlos had experienced before. Usually, he didn’t know who he was speaking to in the dream, and sometimes, they would just sit and stare at him without saying anything—it could be a little creepy. That part only lasted for what felt like five minutes, then it turned to blackness, and the full-body pleasure started.

Theo thought that Carlos had seriously downplayed the feeling of ecstasy that came after the dream. For Carlos, the pleasure was secondary to the dream experience, even if it was sometimes weird. But yeah, he admitted that it was an incredible feeling—it was probably what heroin felt like.

It created intense physical rapture and peace of mind that the sleeper experienced for what felt like a couple of hours. It wasn’t like being awake, nor was it like sleeping—it was a meeting of the two and created a zen state that few humans could ever achieve in the waking world. Theo recognized how addicting it could potentially be and thought about whether it would be wise to give it to the world or not. He had to share it with Angela, either way.

By the time Theo made it back to his hotel in Sao Paulo, it had been over 30 hours. He’d given a heartfelt goodbye to Carlos, thanked him dearly, and promised again that he wouldn’t tell anyone about the Dream Tribe. He was supposed to fly home the next day, but that was no longer in the cards.

He didn’t know if 30 hours was too long, the leaf and stem were certainly sad and wilted, but there was nothing to be done about it, so just focus on the next step. He immediately put the dirt from his water bottle in a plastic cup, cut some holes in the bottom, placed the cutting in the soil, and watered it. He set it on the windowsill and sat down on the bed.

He stared at the little sapling for an hour—his mind going a million miles a minute. A mixture of terror and excitement overwhelmed him. If the plant died, then he would never be able to live a content life; he knew that, and it created the terror. He would have to go back to the tribe, even if it meant his death.

On the other hand, if the plant survived, then he had a major logistical and moral challenge of what to do with it. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself, ‘just get this thing rooted and growing first.’ He got on his laptop and did what he did best—research.

It wasn’t too long into his research when he realized plants like this, that lived under the rainforest’s canopy, didn’t like direct sunlight. He got mad at himself; he should have known that.

He immediately moved the sapling to a shady area of the room. He also turned off the air conditioner—it was going to be an uncomfortable couple of weeks, hopefully. The heat had already been killing him, coming from such a cool climate, but he’d live in an actual oven to make this happen. He’d know if the cutting took root within the week.

He took a taxi to a nursery, which was only a 10-minute drive through Sao Paulo and bought some rooting solution. He got back to his hotel and added it to the soil. Now what? He felt like he’d done everything he could. It was just a waiting game now—a form of torture he didn’t know could exist. He needed to take his mind off of it, so he called his family.

Theo met Angela in grad school. They were both doing their master’s degrees, Angela in education and Theo in anthropology. They had a research class together and slowly but surely developed a friendship after doing a group project. Some drinks with other classmates turned into a sleepover, which turned into sleeping over every night. It had never been the fireworks going off, love-at-first-sight type of relationship, but it developed into something deep and lasting.

When Theo ever imagined life without his amazing wife, he would feel an attack starting, so he tried not to do that. Theo used to get panic attacks regularly after his parents died, and it continually threatened to happen in adulthood whenever he would think about losing those he loved.

Theo would never be called a romantic, but Angela could live with that—she was nothing if not pragmatic, and she knew one had to make compromises in a relationship. After a few years of living together, it was clear they made a good partnership, and he nonchalantly asked her to marry him