Ashton... Afraid (Studs & Steel #10.5)

By Heather Mar-Gerrison

I had no idea I was about to fall in love for the first time ever. I had no idea the girl at the bar wasn't quite what she appeared. I'd been dating women left right and centre without ever finding the one and it was fair to say I wanted more - I just wasn't sure what that was until Ezra burst into my life in all of his fabulousness. Was this finally my time to find the one in a drag queen?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Heather Mar-Gerrison
• Release date: May 31, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224800001

Heather Mar-Gerrison

I love to write M/M romance and as a sucker for a HEA, you're guaranteed one in my books. #happyheatherafters

Book preview

Ashton… Afraid

(Studs & Steel #10.5)

Heather Mar-Gerrison

Smashwords Edition

Heather Mar-Gerrison Copyright 2024

Beautiful front cover courtesy of Shutterstock designs

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work.

Prologue

Ashton

The young woman sat at the bar had very long, blonde hair. Her makeup was applied quite heavily but absolutely perfectly and those full, luscious-looking lips that kept sipping at her cocktail were absolutely mesmerising. I couldn’t stop looking at her – couldn’t stop imagining the feel of those lips against mine...

It was quite possibly the first time I’d ever looked at a woman and felt something stirring downstairs. It was usually pretty-faced guys that got my motor running. Not that anyone else knew that – and I’d never act on it. Not in a million years. I’d rather die than admit the fact that I fancied guys. That was my brother Curtis’ department.

Everyone thought I was a big, tough soldier. A red-blooded male who went through women like they were going out of fashion – and to the untrained eye that was exactly what I was and I was quite happy hiding behind that persona, thanks very much. The fact that I was bored with my life wasn’t something I wanted to admit to myself, never mind anyone else. There had to be something wrong with me for not actually enjoying the single life I had going on, didn’t there?

I looked across at her again and suppressed a sigh. Maybe it was her eyes, that were incredibly dark but still seemed to pop through her beautifully applied makeup. She had a strong jaw for a girl and her arms were toned. My God. She was a total stunner.

I wasn’t dead inside. I could appreciate beauty whether it was male or female – but I generally wasn’t usually bothered enough to do anything about it. This girl, however, was unusually attractive.

I think it’s time we took a trip into town and called in at Cleo’s.

Jaden’s voice made me jump before I tuned in to what he was saying and I groaned inwardly. There was no way I was going to some terrible lap-dancing club. It was just another form of torture for me. I’d long ago realised that I wasn’t as interested in sex as the rest of the guys and it was quite the achievement that they were only just cottoning onto that fact now that half of them were married or engaged-to-be-married and the rest seemed to have quite steady things going on. I was still the only single one amongst us – not that it stopped any of them wanting to go to the lap-dancing club...

Are you coming with us, Ash? Steve turned to me with a challenging grin, Or, He chucked darkly, "should I say, Ace?"

Get. Lost. I said to him calmly as the rest of the guys chuckled along with him. I wasn’t about to be drawn into a stupid, drunken argument about my sexual appetite or rather, the lack of it. That was my business, no one else’s. If I didn’t like sex, I didn’t like sex. There wasn’t much anyone could do about it. Heaven knew I’d tried to like it but I just found it to be rather boring. I liked girls, but I had simply never liked one enough to have anything more than a one-night stand with. I could do that. I could kiss them and cuddle them for a short time but then I was bored and I just wanted them out of my life. As for giving guys a go? Well, no, just no. It wasn’t happening. I refused to allow my thought processes to even take a step in that direction. That was just asking to be ribbed absolutely mercilessly by this lot and I wasn’t about to allow that.

I only ever had sex these days if it was clear from the moment we got chatting, it was a no-strings, no expectations thing on either side. Even then, sometimes, the girl had still expected more from me than I was willing to give. It would be fair to say that I hadn’t been laid in over a year. That was how uninterested in sex I was... Well, with a partner at least. It was also fair to say that my right hand was my best friend. Sometimes my left, too – call me ambidextrous...

I tipped the remnants of my pint into my mouth and then, with one last glance at the gorgeous girl at the bar, who hadn’t shown any interest whatsoever in anyone and was completely absorbed in her mobile phone, I got up and with one last wistful glance in her direction, wishing I’d been brave enough to approach her, I followed the guys out of the bar and into the fresh air outside…

*

Ezra

The group of soldiers on the other side of the bar were making me feel a little nervous.

I wasn’t that much of a sissy that I couldn’t take on a guy in a situation on a one-to-one basis, but there were six of the them and fuck, they were ripped.

One of the guys, stood towards the back of the group, wasn’t really paying much attention to the lewd conversation that was going on but I couldn’t help noticing that he had glanced across at me a couple of times with what appeared to me to be an interested expression on his face. He certainly wasn’t giving me hostile vibes.

I tried to relax and to look as if I was engrossed in my Twitter feed. I really wasn’t. I was desperate for the rest of the girls to join me and at the same time, I was dying to have another look at him.

There was quite a group of us girls when we all met up and generally, when there was a group of us, we were left alone to please ourselves and enjoy a few drinks. It was somewhat different being alone, although the barman, who I think was called Barney, was a decent kind of guy...

Finally, a text came through from my best friend, Charlie. Ezra, we’ll be there in five minutes, babe. Niall’s eyelash came unstuck.

I smiled at the message. Niall’s make-up skills weren’t particularly polished, to say the least. He was the newest member of our group and we were all doing our best to get him up to a similar standard as the rest of us.

His stage name was Sunny Day, which I thought was cute but it made Charlie cringe. I got the feeling that Charlie was rather more interested in him than just being friends but neither of them were admitting to anything.

My stage name was Adora BJ. I know – classy. Not.

The scraping of stool legs on the floor made me jump slightly. I looked up, instantly on my guard, and found to my relief that the group of soldiers were leaving.

The one at the back, who, on second glance, was actually very good-looking, seemed to be lagging behind the rest for a moment. One of the others very helpfully called his name and I watched with a vaguely disappointed sinking feeling in my belly as he quickened his step to catch them up.

There was no point in wondering what might have been if we’d actually looked at each other. He was obviously not going to be interested in me. He was, quite clearly, as straight as the day was long and I was, quite clearly since I was currently dressed as a woman and sporting and absolutely fabulous wig and dripping in jewellery, as camp as Christmas...

Finally, Charlie and Niall appeared, taking my mind off the uncommonly handsome soldier.

Thank God for that. I breathed, I thought I was going to have to drink with only Barney the barman for company all night!

Charlie rolled his eyes. I was beginning to think the same. He said, Niall has no concept of time whatsoever.

I grinned as Niall looked at him with a slightly bemused expression on his face. Charlie might complain, but he adored Niall. It was so obvious.

So, Charlie said, Any new men on the horizon?

I snorted. Yeah, right. I scoffed trying to ignore the fluttery feelings in my stomach at the memory of the gorgeous soldier.

Well, your luck might be in with this venue, Charlie said, his eyes sparkling with undisguised glee, "The place is teeming with soldiers! We just passed a group of them on the way in – and we all know that ‘don’t look, don’t tell’ is as real as it gets!"

I didn’t bother correcting him that it was actually ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’. He’d only get it wrong again next time. Charlie just didn’t care about getting such things right.

My heartbeat