Beyond All Appearances

By Joan R. Griffith

About the Book
Beyond All Appearances follows Josephine as she develops from adolescence into adulthood and her marriage to Major. Faced with the unexpected death of her young son, Samuel, Josephine's cloak of confidence begins to unravel. She remains close friends with her former mother-in-law, Naomi. The impending death of Naomi provides an opportunity for Josephine and Major to meet again as he fulfills Naomi's last wishes.
Through a twist of fate, on the anniversary of Samuel's death, Josephine meets a young boy, Micah. Josephine and Major discover the common thread to help them redefine their relationship. Gradually, the three of them begin a new journey as a family as they find what they had been seeking to add meaning to their lives.
Beyond All Appearances is a powerful story of devastating loss, release, restoration, hope, and authenticity. Woven with exciting twists and turns, this story reminds us that the journey of life can be truly fulfilling and authentic, but to move forward after a loss, you must acknowledge the loss, mourn appropriately, release the pain, and firmly grasp the vibrant future awaiting you. It quickly draws the reader in and keeps them interested until the end.
About the Author
Joan R. Griffith is a sister, mother, grandmother, and retired military officer and physician. Over the past five decades, she has held various positions with increasing responsibility. She is intimately familiar with the twists and turns of everyday life that lead to moments of joy and disappointment.
Griffith has had to weave many cloaks of confidence as she faced repeated challenges and needed to move beyond all appearances of contradiction. She acknowledges that faith in God was a strong influence in her life. But she readily admits that one of her most life-altering disappointments weekended her faith as she coped with misleading fundamental attribution errors. It was an exhausting, years-long struggle to regain her faith and move forward.
Today, Joan lives a quiet but active life in Central Kentucky. She looks forward to exploring the next phases of her life with the confidence that beyond all appearances everything will work out in its appointed time. She enjoys bike riding, reading, and watching old western movies, and she attends her local church regularly.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Company
• Release date: Feb 2, 2024
• ISBN: 9798888128268

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The contents of this work, including, but not limited to, the accuracy of events, people, and places depicted; opinions expressed; permission to use previously published materials included; and any advice given or actions advocated are solely the responsibility of the author, who assumes all liability for said work and indemnifies the publisher against any claims stemming from publication of the work.

All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2024 by Joan R. Griffith

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted, downloaded, distributed, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, including photocopying and recording, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented without permission in writing from the publisher.

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ISBN: 979-8-88812-326-3

eISBN: 979-8-88812-826-8

Dedicated to my daughters and grandchildren who have sustained me throughout the changes in my life.

Introduction

Josephine knew she was at a crucial crossroad, perhaps the most important in her life. She was known for her diligence and her ability to make wise professional and personal decisions with alarming ease. She now appeared suspended in aimless indecisiveness. Her ability to assess the circumstances was hindered by a nagging feeling that she did not have all the facts she needed to prepare for the next phase of her life.

She wanted a quick answer several years ago. But she was unable to connect the pieces of the broken puzzle that stood for her life. She was still getting conflicting sensory inputs. She knew this crossroad presented her with a choice that would alter her life’s journey drastically. Beyond all appearances, she was not sure if her cloak of confidence would protect her long enough for her to find the missing links.

She put up a brave front each day, trying to appear in control of her life. Each day she put on her cloak of confidence and set out to face the world. Lately, she could see that the vibrant colors of her cloak were fading, and the threads were slowly unraveling around her.

Josephine was sitting at her office desk trying to finish the last paragraph of the document she was working on for her promotion package. As she closed the document, a co-worked popped her head in the door and told her it was time to start the weekend. They had completed a very successful but hectic week gathering the multiple documents she needed for her promotion package.

Josephine smiled agreeingly. She thanked her coworker for her help and told her she would see her on Monday. After a couple of last minutes changes to the document, she was working on, Josephine shut off her computer, gathered her belongings, turned off the lights, and left her office. She locked her outer office door and walked briskly to her car in the employee parking lot.

Josephine was eagerly looking forward to the weekend. She unlocked her car door and for a brief period, she sat and simply exhaled as if to release the stress of the week. She turned the key and started to back out of her parking space to head home. She turned onto the main street heading out of town. The traffic was heavy, but it was moving at a steady pace. She was grateful that there were no reported accidents to delay her commute home. Suddenly, it started to rain lightly.

When she turned into her driveway, she felt elated to be home. She needed an unstructured, peaceful weekend. She wanted to finish categorizing the documents for her promotion package.

Subconsciously, she also hoped she would find the solution to the nagging question on her mind. She had gone through the week struggling with one question: Is it my eyes, my heart, or my mind that deceives me and prevents me from finding the solution to the challenges that keep me from moving to the next phase of my life? She had hoped the solution would have been obvious by the end of the day. However, when she returned home, she was no closer to the answer than she was on Monday. She could not free herself from the lingering question.

When she opened her house door, she was greeted by her three-year old boxer, Chico who wagged his tail in excitement to see her. She played joyfully with him for a while and then took him for a quick walk before the rain increased. A mild storm had been predicted for later during the night.

After they returned home, she checked her voice messages and looked through the mail she took from the mailbox. She heated the remaining stew from last night’s dinner and ate quietly at the kitchen table. She quickly washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen as if in auto mode. She turned off the lights in the kitchen and walked slowly upstairs to her office next to her bedroom, followed closely by Chico.

She reviewed a couple of promotion documents before she decided it was time to shift her focus and try to unwind for bed. She took a hot shower and got dressed for bed. Lying in bed, she started reading the novel she had started two days ago. The radio was playing softly in the background. After reading ten pages, she felt suspended between half asleep and half awake, drifting off to sleep.

Then she was aroused by the familiar sound of John Legend singing All of Me. She was fully awake now. She reflected on the first time she heard the song and the vow she had made to MAJOR BERNARD (39), her ex-husband. She spent the next fifteen minutes reliving that moment, then she gradually surrendered to the need for sleep. The preset timer shut off the lights and the radio as darkness surrounded her underneath her favorite comforter.

Suddenly, at 3:00 A.M., she was awakened by a bright bolt of lightning followed by a loud crush of thunder. She got out of bed and went to the window. Looking out, she saw the heavy downpour of rain falling against the windowpane and the blowing tree branches as the sky danced with the recurring flashes of lighting in the far distance. She returned to bed, hoping sleep would soon follow. She snuggled quickly into bed and pulled the comforter around her neck. But sleep seemed to evade her. After thirty minutes, she realized that it was futile to try to go to sleep, and she got up.

She went to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Sitting at the kitchen table, she glanced out the large bay window facing the waterfront. Her mind wandered to the times she spent sitting with her parents around their kitchen table for meals. The sage advice that her parents gave her about life and the adventures it would offer her seemed insignificant then but so relevant now.

Interestingly, two pieces of advice rushed into her memory. Her mother had told her that there would be a special moment in her life that would become a decisive turning point. It would change the trajectory of her life forever whether due to its amazing victory or devastating defeat. In a similar vein, her father had told her that as she experienced life there would be one or two physical structures that would be valued because of the strong influences they would have in shaping her into the woman she was destined to become.

Sitting at her own kitchen table this morning, she had a mental breakthrough. She now knew exactly what her parents meant. She could now name the turning point in her life and the physical structure that subtly helped develop the true character of her being. The revelations seemed so self-evident now.

Her turning point was when she was stopped being able or willing to allow Major to help her work through the death of their son, SAMUEL BERNARD (6). By continuing to shut out Major, she set in motion a series of events that suspended her in perpetual emptiness and depression. Her physical structure influencer was the small community store her parents owned when she was a child. Josephine genuinely believed that the various transformations she experienced during the time she spent in the store helped her to become an amazing young woman.

The Store

After years of searching for answers to the never-ending questions about her life and authenticity, Josephine came to understand that the store represented more than its simple physical dimensions and inherent responsibilities. It laid the foundation for the most significant aspects of her life, past, present, and future. In so many ways, she became an extension of the essence of the store.

The store was an ordinary, one-story, rectangular concrete block building. There were two oversized, heavy front doors guarding the entrance. Each door had an outer screened door. Centered above the doors was a hanging light which was turned on from dusk to dawn. There were two large front windows that were encased by multiple steel bars.

Directly across from each window was a single plank bench suspended between two wooden posts. The areas in front of the single planks, by design or not, were filled with small pebbles and dirt. This area was always devoid of grass. In front of the window on the left side of the building was a stand-alone three-plank bench.

During the hours spent in the store, Josephine cultivated her passion for the traditional pop, easy listening, jazz, and gospel music. These were the only genres of music allowed to be played. Even listening to the radio had a ritual. Except for when the news or gospel programs were being broadcast, the radio could not be played too loudly in the store.

Emotional restraint was always practiced in the store. Consequently, it was in the store Josephine learned to mask her feelings. She learned the skill of how to extend professional service to classmates who had bullied her on the way home.

She learned how to be gracious when promises were not fulfilled, and debts not paid on time. She learned how to be sensitive and respectful of the fact that everyone has a sense of pride, whether in the face of abject poverty or plenty. She learned how to interact with the elderly and how to earn their trust when they were wary of a teenager serving them instead of her more seasoned parents.

As a result of the long hours spent in the store, Josephine learned the value of hard work and how to dream of a life in a different place and time. She learned the value of fantasy as a means of enduring the challenges of the present and how fantasy could offer hope when circumstances did not work out as hoped. She learned how imagination could help her see beyond all appearances of lack to a better place.

Perhaps one of the most significant roles the store played was to provide the setting for planning her first date with JEREMIAH LEDBETTER (17). She had secretly admired him from a distance since she was in the eighth grade. He was two years older than her.

She met him during the time when Jeremiah would do odd jobs for her parents. He had an easygoing manner, and it was always easy to talk with him. However, he did not seem to take any interest in her beyond their occasional conservations in the store when he came to make purchases.

In the summer before starting his junior year of high school, Jeremiah was chosen to attend a very select basketball skills camp at a local college. A couple of days before he was to leave for camp, he stopped by the store to buy a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk for his mother.

Josephine congratulated Jeremiah on being chosen for the camp. He told her that he was excited to go and hoped to improve his basketball skills for the upcoming season. As he shared information about the program, Josephine asked him to write her and tell her what the program was really like because her brother, JACOB DUNCAN (16), might be interested in applying next year. He said he would.

Weeks later, to her surprise, she received a letter from Jeremiah. He described a typical day in the program. She was excited to hear from him. She was also excited to learn about the opportunities the program offered. She wrote him immediately. Throughout the program, they continued to write each other.

When he returned home, he came to the store and asked