Rise on Eagles' Wings

By Teddie Holt Allen

Where do you turn when hope loses its sparkle?

In Rise on Eagles' Winges, Teddie shares a window into her soul, a snippet of her struggles, and a glance of God's glory that ends in triumph through the hope found in Jesus Christ.

Hope showed up in a friend's prayer that gave her the spark to carry on.

"Lord, give Tedd

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jun 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9798890417831

Teddie Holt Allen

Teddie Hold Allen graduated from Asbury University in Wilmore, KY with a master's degree in teaching reading and writing. She would like to be known as family oriented, creatively driven, and full of laughter. The best thing she ever found on the internet was her husband, Nathan Allen! Teddie would like her readers to know that while God can present us with certain challenges, He never deserts us. Don't give up on yourself. Place your hope in Jesus and rise!

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S

pecial Shout Outs

To my Honey Bear Husband

Thanks for being my constant. You keep me laughing! I love you mostest!

To Randa

You’ve helped me to realize that I’m not crazy, just crazy blessed, and for that I am forever grateful.

To my BF/cuz Summer

Laughing comes easiest with you! Thanks for all the love and acceptance you’ve shown me.

To my parents

During all the twist and turns, you were there to keep me safe. Thank you most for your love.

To my sisters

When I notice the belt of Orion with the three aligning stars in the night sky, I always think of y’all and the way your love shines in my life.

Washed Ashore

The moment Love came rushing in,

Just one look upon His face,

I was pardoned from all my sin;

Engulfed by His warm embrace,

Oh, what Grace!

My troubled days behind me,

Just a trail of tears,

Forgotten upon the waters

Of the turbulent yesteryears.

All the colors of Your majesty

Burst forth to reveal my whole heart.

Just reflections of His radiant Glory

I wonder, May I be Your timeless art?

By Teddie Holt ‘12

Willingness to do what you’re not qualified to do is what often qualifies you. This truth was revealed to me in a dream. I was making small clay donuts on an assembly line. After deciding I could do the more intricate work another fellow several rows ahead of me was doing, I purposefully walked to his station and asked if I could help. He said, Make a house. When I attempted to do so, a creature to my left laughed at me, but when I asked for more water a generous portion was poured into the clay. Then when someone from above told me that I was needed back at my starting point, making the clay donuts, I immediately hung my head and obeyed the voice. I woke up feeling defeated.

I take this dream as a revelation that I am called to do something MORE with my talents. In my dream, I chose to step out in faith, into the unknown. I totally ignored the creature that laughed at me, and did not hesitate to ask for help when I needed it. I want to challenge myself in real-life as well. Instead of feeling defeated and listening to the voices that tell me to keep silent and stay in my lane, I seek to be victorious in all that I dare to achieve. I charge you as well; don’t listen to the voices in your head or others when they tell you to shrink. Instead, listen to God’s voice and He will tell you to rise!

I live in a cozy little town in Western Kentucky, but if the Spirit moves me, I could pick up and move in a heartbeat.  I have very strong morals, and like putting my faith into action. Being named Teddie is one of my most cherished gifts.  My life is just as unique and special as my name, as is everyone’s really.  We are born with superpowers. Somewhere along the way, we often choose to hide behind a fake mask in order to fit in with the crowd. Standing out is uncomfortable.  When I began to push myself beyond my comfort zone, it became sink or swim, and I sank; but the beauty of life is that there are really an infinite number of chances to become the best version of you.  IF you keep trying and don’t give up HOPE in Jesus, He will lead you to a life of victory!

I would like to share with you my journey – how I went from being a special education teacher to having a debilitating disability and ultimately managing a fulfilling life. I emphasized managing a fulfilling life, because it takes constant effort day by day – hour by hour – minute by minute to achieve a quality of life – a loving marriage, maintaining a fulfilling social life, enjoying my love of painting, and being active in church and community. I couldn’t do any of these things without the Holy Spirit as my Helper, my life coach that encouraged me along the way, my psychologist that provided me with a life-altering method called Eye Movement – Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy, all the treatment (although there was some mistreatment, too) in the many psychiatric hospitals I visited over the years, my doctor that prescribes my medicine, my pastor and his wife, and prayers and many late night conversations from family and friends.

I have experienced many breakthrough moments in my journey towards healing, as my symptoms were very extensive and painful. I had to learn and continue to remind myself that the chemistry in my brain is not my identity. God is choosing to restore me piece by piece. I firmly believe I am being healed so that He can demonstrate His power to as many people that I come in contact with, whether in ministry or in my daily routines.

I dealt with insomnia, nightmares, sensory dreams, disturbed thoughts, altered reality, extreme emotions, racing thoughts, distractibility, irritability, panic attacks, depression, extreme pain in hands, tremors, delusions, paranoia, fight or flight conflicts, no filter, no laughter, no VOICE, swollen hands, sleep paralysis, migraines, short-term memory loss, mania and most likely more!

Jesus Christ took me from despair and placed a hopeful future in front of me. I was once like a leper wherever I went, until Jesus touched me and healed my heart, my body, AND my mind. He has made me whole and erased my spots! By His stripes, I am healed, and called into the healing ministry, as well. For He has blessed me with an abundance!

This is a tale about how taking risk can leave you so low that you don’t even recognize yourself, and before you know it no one recognizes you, either. You become an invisible ameba, tossed in the sea, floating here and there and everywhere, until a hand is reached out to you and you are gently picked up and carried back to the shore only to be dragged back into the waters, surrendering to each new wave until one day you decide not to surrender quite as much, and you slowly regain your footing, and begin to walk against the current again, until you reach the shore.

On the shore, you start to discover yourself again, just how unique and special you are. Then you decide to look for others that are choosing to become invisible to pump them up and give them the hope that you have so that they can walk in the freedom of who Christ made them to be.

As mentioned, the irony of my life is that I graduated with a degree in special education and now I’m considered disabled.  I have learned that it is way too complicated to go around pointing fingers!  I am also choosing not to curl up and be defeated for the entirety of life I have on this swiftly tilting planet called Earth.

The light in my eyes, my skip in my step, the softness in my touch, and the spark in my heart is all back!  I feel blessed to have weathered such a storm, and to have such a powerful story to help others become the best version of themselves. My heart is full of the possibilities to continue to make the world a better place.

Recently, I shared a short version of my testimony with my church, thanking them for all their prayers.  I read a list of 30+ symptoms that I no longer suffer from, and then I tore up the list!  It was extremely liberating!!  I felt as if I could run a marathon; I felt so free!!! I still go to my doctors and take my medication, but my meds don’t run my life; I am the one in charge.  I will take ownership of my own choices.  I am tremendously thankful for the freedom Christ Jesus has so graciously given.  I will attempt daily to honor Him with my life.

Now, 11 hospitalizations later, my life is finally getting back to MY normal.  Sharing my story has been the push I needed to put a cap on my recovery.  Jesus said, What I tell you in darkness, that speak you in light. Matthew 10:27 KJV. The more I share, the more my faith grows! 

For a long time, I felt like Humpty Dumpty.  That may sound silly, but until you’ve lived through a similar story, you have no idea.  Let me try to explain. 

Every time I went to the hospital, it was a crapshoot.  The doctors would pump drugs through my system, as if they were playing darts in the dark.  Every time, I went back to the hospital, it was like starting at square one again.  Apparently, they did not know what worked and what did not work the last time.  Last year this time, I was back and forth in the hospital a total of three times, placed on various types of medicine, until finally (the first time after all those eight years) had a moment where I threatened to take my life.

The cycle was perpetuated by a doctor that never changed my medications (despite my troubles with sleep, my exhaustion, my inability to read or focus on daily tasks because of low attention span... and on and on) until a follow-up after the hospital. 

Take a minute and unpack that sentence for me.  Do you see anything unethical with this? 

He met with me for a grand total of ten minutes every three months.  Most of those ten minutes, he would speak about his kids or tell very lame jokes. Imagine going to your family doctor and getting this type of treatment.  Ridiculous, right!?  What still gets me fired up is that there are possibly millions of people suffering who do not get adequate care, because they are seeing a doctor such as this with hundreds of people on their caseload. 

Let that sink in a minute, too.

It took almost nine years to find the right doctor, who prescribed the right combination of medications, before I became the person I knew I was all along. My disability stole many things from me,