You Selfish B!tch: Cracking the Code, from the Inside Out

By Katie Coffman

Are you tired of coming in second or even last in your life?

Have your big dreams gotten lost along the way?

Did you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Top Dog Publishing
• Release date: May 9, 2024
• ISBN: 9798990429116

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

SELFISH B!TCHES…

GET THINGS STARTED

Do you have what it takes to be a selfish b*tch? I believe you do. I believe that everyone has the potential to be a selfish b*tch. Prior to creating this book, I would have never considered describing myself as selfish or a b*tch to be a positive term of endearment. What thought comes to your mind when you hear the phrase selfish b*tch? Most people don’t generally like being called selfish or b*tch because of the negative connotations’ society has placed on those words.

Think of the last situation you used the word selfish to describe a person. What was that person doing? What did the person look like? What was the circumstance of the situation? Selfishness, as defined, is the quality or state of caring only for oneself or one’s own interests (Dictionary.com). To be selfish, you are devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others (Dictionary.com). Do those definitions match your understanding of the concept of selfish? The definitions matched mine. Was your application of selfish to the person you previously thought of negative? Did you feel that the individual was in the wrong? Did you apply the concept of selfish in a derogatory manner, perceiving that person’s behavior as unacceptable? Go back and re-read the definitions of selfishness and selfish again. Read the definitions from an unbiased perspective, with no emotional attachment or presumptions. Read them in the black and white language as they are written. Nowhere in those definitions does it state that either concept is negative or bad. Who decided selfish was a bad concept?

Current societal concepts and many social circles have programmed us to associate the attributes of selfish as undesirable. In my opinion, this undesirable concept is ironic when embracing uniqueness, taking care of yourself, and putting yourself first seem to be preached every time you turn around. Especially when being selfish benefits other people. I agree that being selfish can be a bad concept when used inappropriately or negatively. However, I do not believe enough people get the chance to experience the positive benefits that can come with embodying the true meaning of selfish, which is being devoted to YOU! When we truly experience and embrace selfishness it opens our eyes to an entirely new world, one that has been right in front of us the entire time.

I have clarified the concept of selfish as used in this book, and you may be asking why b*tch is included. To add that special extra flare. I can be a boss, or I can be a boss b*tch. I can be selfish, or I can be a selfish b*tch. I was not about to embark on a life altering journey only to go unnoticed. I am proud of embracing my inner self, shattering the stigma of society, and cracking the code to become the best version of myself. There is power in reclaiming words that other people use to belittle or demean women. It’s possibly part of what drew you to pick up this book. I sure as h*ll would have!

I am on a mission to bring attention to what we all deserve and have the power to do for ourselves, and I will do whatever is necessary to get my point across. Please hear me loud and clear when I say this: being selfish is necessary. To enhance our own lives, we MUST start with being selfish and putting ourselves first. It is necessary for you to become your first priority. How can you help anyone else if you don’t first help yourself? When the oxygen on an airplane is low enough for the masks to drop from the ceiling, you are expected to put yours on first before helping other people with theirs. Why? Because you cannot help others if you pass out from a lack of oxygen.

You are about to experience some self-perspective changes. People on the outside looking in might be confused about the changes you are making in your life. Some people may try to make you feel guilty for your health and growth journey. Some people will criticize your actions and your decisions, attempting to persuade you to revert to your old ways. This journey can be difficult, perhaps even become a lonely one. The end goal is to embrace the best you possible, and that alone is worth the journey to get there. Other people only see you from the outside. But you… you will see, experience, feel, and know everything about yourself. Only you know the hard work, discipline, and reasons behind everything you do. This inside looking out perspective is your secret to keep or share with other people as you wish. The power to share your secret when you so choose will have you embracing the title of selfish b*tch. You will reclaim control over yourself and your needs from people who are unhappy, who want to control you, and who demand to be at the front of the line for your care and attention.

This book is more than an explanation of how to embrace the selfish b*tch within you. This book is also a detailing of my own journey to becoming a selfish b*tch. My goal was to record the experiences I had and become the example of what it means to embrace selfishness. To share what it means to be ok with being selfish. To explain what it means to accept selfishness as something positive and necessary. No matter where you are in life, embracing your selfish b*tch is an opportunity to do something for YOU. Something that is possibly long overdue.

Throughout the course of this book, I have placed activities to aid in your journey, just as they aided my own. You can take the time to participate as you read through the book, or you can come back to the activities after you finished reading the book first. Whichever method you take is for you to decide as there is no right or wrong way to do it. There is only the way that you chose to. Now, let’s go get selfish, b*tches!

CHAPTER 2

SELFISH B!TCHES…

ARE DECISIVE

People make decisions every day, based on the choices that are presented to them. Some people are fortunate to have the freedom and capability to make decisions for themselves. These types of decisions can allow people control over their own thoughts, actions, emotions, habits, and mindset. I am an advocate for making healthy decisions on what I can control, and I feel that this level of personal control is one of the most underappreciated gifts among humanity. Society can make it feel as if choices are limited based on perceived expectations of how people should behave. For example, the word selfish in this book’s title can elicit a negative reaction at a casual glance. Are there instances when putting yourself above the greater good or before someone else that seems more deserving can be interpreted as wrong? Possibly. But what about being selfish in the right way, at the right time, and for the right reasons? Whose opinion matters of what is right and wrong?

While exercising my choice to fully embrace being selfish, I struggled with two issues. The first issue dealt with prioritizing me. Why? Because I was allowing myself and other people to make me feel guilty or have control on what was supposed to be the most and least important to me. I realized quickly that if I was going to make the decision to put myself first, other people couldn’t matter. Allow me to elaborate. While other people do matter, their opinions of what matters to me did not. I am referring to being in full control of WHAT matters to me and HOW matters affect me. When I envisioned myself on this mission, it provided me the accountability I needed to not get sidetracked or distracted by other people’s opinions. When I started my own selfish journey, I noticed how some people’s opinions, my past desires, and what other people were doing, were no longer influencing my own decisions. Opinions held by society, some people I allowed around me, and even some of my own opinions that were once influential became insignificant because they were restraining me from becoming a better person.

Outside interference became unacceptable. Stop allowing external noise cause internal chaos! It is mind-blowing how much of a role I played in allowing chaos into my life. It was when I made the promise to myself, the decision to be selfish, that I established the first step in my journey and every journey starts with a first step. It became