It’s Never Too Late To Fall In Love Again

By Giuseppe Giucastro and Judith P. Giucastro

An unlikely pair, a Sicilian immigrant, Giuseppe, and an Ozark native, Judy, are brought together by a mutual friend to discuss a writing project Giuseppe has in mind. At the meeting, Giuseppe unexpectedly invites Judy to dinner to discuss his project further. At dinner, the elderly couple finds they have much in common, and though Giuseppe soon returns to Sicily, where he has gone to live in retirement, they keep in touch. When he returns to America months later to visit family, Giuseppe and Judy know they are in love. Over the next few years, they sometimes wonder if their deep love for one can weather the serious problems they face. .

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 12, 2024
• ISBN: 9781663262455

Giuseppe Giucastro

Giuseppe Giucastro, a native of Sicily, who came to America in 1960 worked both as a hair dresser and a restaurateur. In later life he became interested in writing and shortly before his death in 2017, he wrote Another Face of God as well as the manuscript for this book. Judith P. Foard-Giucastro, a native of Missouri, is a retired social worker and teacher who in her retirement wrote this book as well as Senior Year, Journey to Christmas, and Scrap Paper Reflections. Previously, she wrote a history of the First Congregational Church of Westfield, Massachusetts on occasion of its 300th anniversary.

Book preview

Prologue

H anging clothes on the line outside the bedroom window, I was pleased that there was a warm breeze that would dry the clothes quickly. My only concern was that as the line became crowded, I might drop a shirt or jeans onto the red tile roof below. If I dropped something, I would try to retrieve it with the long pole that stood in the co rner.

While I hung up the clothes, I enjoyed the refreshing breeze as well as the views of the little village that lay before me. Across a narrow cobblestone street was a Baroque styled church with its Doric columns and a statue of a saint which from my vantage point looked more like a Greek temple with a statue of a god. From the bedroom window, I also had a spectacular view of the village with its houses of red tiled roofs nestled among the surrounding hills. On the highest hill overlooking the town, I could see cattle grazing in a rocky pasture.

After finishing this laundry task, I looked forward to an afternoon nap, a routine I had become easily accustomed to since my arrival in Sicily. I chuckled as I thought of the strange turn of events that had brought me a 77 year old widow to this isolated village located in the highest mountains of southeastern Sicily. I was not a tourist on a two week tour around the island who was doing her laundry while staying a day at the home of a local. No, I was a visitor in the family home of my 76 year old fiancé.

I was still trying to wrap my mind around the question of how the two of us so different in background and experience had been attracted to each other. Giuseppe was a Sicilian who had come to America at the age of twenty after living two years in Venezuela. He had worked for nearly forty years as a hairdresser and a restauranteur before returning to Sicily for retirement. He had been divorced twice and had lived alone for years.

I, a native of the Ozark region of Missouri had moved to Delaware after college to teach. Within a year, I married Larry, a native of Delaware, and we with our two children lived a relatively peaceful life in a college town of Western Massachusetts where Larry was a professor of philosophy and religion. The marriage of 49 years lasted until Larry’s death in 2011, two years before I met Giuseppe.

How did Giuseppe and I, two people with such different backgrounds in education, work, and cultural experience come to know each other and form a bond of love that carried us through many difficult situations? That is the story Giuseppe and I tell in this book.

As we wrote the book together, we used the third person to tell our story. Unfortunately, six months after we finished the book, Giuseppe died after a recurrence of prostate cancer. Initially, we had met through our common interest in writing, and then in our life together, we spent much of our time writing. In this last project of ours where we tell the story of our life together, we found great satisfaction as we shared our ideas on what to write. Often, one’s ideas would spark the creativity of the other person to contribute even more to what had already been written. I am deeply grateful to have had this memorable experience of creating a book with the one whom I loved.

Chapter One

O n a blistering hot day in July, 2011, Giuseppe Giucastro and his sister, Tanina, took their ninety-eight year old mother, Grazia, to a hospital in Siracusa, Sicily for a check-up. At the end of the exam, the doctor commented, I hope I can live this long.

As they left the doctor’s office, a nurse called them back and asked, Has your mother ever been checked for diabetes?

Not that we remember, replied Tanina.

Let’s go back and check it. The doctor and I would feel better if we did.

Giuseppe and Tanina agreed. To their surprise, the test showed that Grazia’s blood sugar was dangerously elevated. When the doctor saw the results, he immediately admitted her to the hospital where she stayed for eleven days.

On the day of her discharge, the doctor took Giuseppe and Tanina to his office and explained that in the course of their mother’s treatment, he had found an ulcer on her foot that would not heal. He explained that the only way to cure it was to amputate her foot, but at her age, he said, no doctor would be willing to operate. He added, My personal suggestion as both a doctor and a son is for you to take Mama home and make her as comfortable as possible.

How long would you expect her to live? asked Giuseppe.

She could live six months or even longer.

Tanina and Giuseppe were quiet as they tried to digest the news. Then putting on as best a face as they could, they went to their mother’s room and said, Mama, it’s time to go home. When she heard the news, a beautiful smile came across her face which for Giuseppe and Tanina was heartbreaking.

From that day on, Giuseppe and Tanina did everything they could to make their mother comfortable. Giuseppe even got her to play the tambourine as he played the harmonica. He noticed that when she was doing this, she was able to forget some of the pain that she was suffering. She also felt better when friends came to visit. How she loved to tell them about her life with her husband, Vito, who had died a few years earlier at the age of ninety five!

Mama was a devout Catholic, and Giuseppe made sure that she got to church often. Sometimes at home she would look at her feet and cry out in anger, Jesus, I have been asking for a miracle every day. You know I’ve prayed to you every single day of my life. Why don’t you heal me? Then after a pause, she would continue in a more conciliatory tone, But, I’m ninety eight years old, and I had the best husband in the world. And I had three children, six grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren. After that, she would calm down, take the rosary out of her pocket, and start to pray.

As Giuseppe listened to her, he felt anguish at hearing her pain, but at the same time, he took comfort in knowing that his mother valued the life that she had lived. While Giuseppe was involved day and night caring for his mother, he was also dealing with his own problem with prostate cancer. At times he was not able to follow up with his medical treatment. He just had to let it go.

September 17, 2011 was Mama’s ninety eighth birthday, and Giuseppe and Tanina gave a small party at the house inviting a few friends and relatives. Giuseppe’s best friend, Tanino, who was a talented photographer, made a video of the occasion. Later on when Giuseppe looked at the video, he could see the pensive smiles on people’s faces. He knew that everyone was probably thinking the same thing. This would be Mama’s last birthday.

As winter came on, Mama became worse, but still she did not realize how sick she was. Until her last few days, she was up and around the house even managing to walk upstairs to her bedroom. About ten days before she died, her granddaughter, Tina, and great granddaughter, Annemarie, came from America to visit her. It seemed that she had waited for them to come before she died.

On the evening of January 31, 2012, Giuseppe noticed that his mother’s breathing was not normal. He knew that he should stay close by her. He lay down in the bed beside her, held her hand, and began to talk with her. Though she could not talk at this point, she would squeeze Giuseppe’s hand to acknowledge what he said.

Mama, you can let it go now. Just remember that soon you will be with Papa and the rest of the family. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be OK. He felt her squeeze his hand especially hard when he said this. He took special comfort in this as his mother often told him that she was worried about his being alone when she died. She always was trying to fix him up with a woman in town who was a good friend.

After talking to his mother for a few hours, he fell asleep on the bed next to her holding her hand all the while. About seven in the morning, he woke up and immediately noticed that his mother’s hand was very cold. He knew she was dead.

As is the custom in Sicily, the body of the deceased is kept in the house for twenty four hours, and friends and family visit the home to pay respect before the funeral mass. For Giuseppe these days were some of the most difficult of his life. As he had always been very close to his mother, in the months following her death, he missed her terribly and felt utterly lost.

Chapter Two

I t was June 24, 2010, the day after Judy’s birthday. She and her husband, Larry, were on their way to Stowe, Vermont for a weeks’ vacation. Larry, who suffered from a Parkinson’s like illness, had experienced a difficult year with a number of problems associated with the disease. Now both of them were happy to go to this place in Vermont that they both loved hoping that it would help Larry feel be tter.

However, their hopes were quickly dashed the night they arrived as Larry found that he had problems eating the dinner he had ordered. For the past few months, he had experienced increased difficulty in swallowing food. The next morning, he could not even enjoy the breakfast at the hotel which was always a favorite meal of his.

Later in the day, he felt ill and had a fever. Judy took him to an urgent care facility in Stowe, and when the doctor measured the percentage of oxygen he was receiving, he found it was only 85%. At that point, he advised them to go to the emergency room at Copley Hospital in Morrisville. At the emergency room after the examination, Larry was admitted to the hospital where he remained for several days. On discharge, the hospital doctor recommended that he and Judy return to Stowe and finish the rest of the vacation.

In the few days that followed, Larry’s problem with swallowing grew worse, and Judy searched in vain for foods that he could eat. On the day they left Stowe, they made the three hour journey home without making their usual stops. Once they were home, Judy tried to see if Larry could drink a high calorie drink that he regularly had as a part of his diet. When she found that he could not even swallow that, she knew that it was time to take him to the emergency room of the local hospital.

After examining Larry, the emergency room physician asked, Do you want to live?

Larry replied, Yes, I do because next summer, my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary.

Then you will need to have a feeding tube inserted in order to get your nourishment.

This news was devastating to Larry and Judy. The summer before, when Larry had been in the hospital, and had his swallowing tested, the hospitalist had told him that within a year he would need a feeding tube. At that time, they had hoped that the doctor was wrong, but now they knew that he was not.

The gastroenterologist whom had on one occasion enlarged Larry’s esophagus came down to the emergency room to talk to him. She assured him if they put the tube in, he could still be able to eat some things by mouth. Larry was admitted to the hospital, and in a few days, a feeding tube was inserted. During the two weeks of rehabilitation, Judy was taught how to administer food through the feeding tube.

Larry was released from rehabilitation and went home. At first with the help of the visiting nurse and physical therapists, he did well. An appointment was even made with a renowned speech therapist at Boston University to see if she could improve his swallowing. The therapist was able to give him a special program to work on, but the long trip to Boston was physically exhausting for him.

During September, he had grown weaker and did not have the energy he had hoped to have when his sister and brother-in-law visited the latter part of the month. The trip to Boston followed on the heels of his sister’s visit. A few days after this trip, Larry returned to the emergency room as he felt ill, and he was given a blood transfusion. While he was in the hospital, Judy was advised to look for a rehabilitation facility for him.

She found a nursing home that could give Larry the speech therapy that the therapist at Boston University had recommended. For the first six weeks, he progressed to the point that he could eat some soft foods by mouth. Plans were made for him to return home, and the couple even practiced his getting in and out of the car. He was to return home right after Thanksgiving; however, at that time, his health began to worsen. He suffered from urinary tract and respiratory infections that made him grow weaker and unable to continue therapy.

At Thanksgiving, he had been able to eat some of the traditional foods by mouth, but at Christmas, he did not feel like eating anything. Judy, her daughter, and son-in-law spent Christmas at the nursing home with him, and Judy had the sinking feeling that this would be his last Christmas. During the week before and after Christmas, Larry had been rushed to the emergency room several times for breathing problems.

On the first Friday of the New Year, when Judy went to see her husband, the nurse told her that the physician’s assistant wanted to see her. When she met with the physician’s assistant, she told Judy that her husband was near death and that she should plan to get hospice. After the meeting, Judy called her