Rookie Mistake Most Guys Make: How Some Thrive While Others Barely Survive Marriage

By Roger Quinlan, Jr

Why do some guys thrive in a relationship with a woman while others barely survive? Why does marriage become a great source of joy and fun for some men and not for others? While not claiming all the answers, this volume points out some specific missteps that cause guys difficulty in that most adventurous relationship. It also includes recommendations for recovery.

In a world where women initiate the majority of breakups, most guys need periodic coaching to have a zestful relationship. While men may optimistically enter marriage, they often quickly discover that they could use help. Some men seem caught off guard with the rigors of maintaining a healthy relationship. Others seem totally surprised that there's even a need to put creative energy into their marriage at all. The good news is that guys can totally rebound from these slips.

Through real-life examples, Rookie Mistakes highlights twelve common missteps that males often make. The volume showcases inspiring examples, humorous anecdotes, and a few examples that are painful but instructive. Specific recovery approaches are detailed at the end of each chapter to help formulate a comeback plan when a particular mistake has been made.

This book can lead men to a more fulfilling, even joyful, relationship with the woman they love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: May 13, 2024
• ISBN: 9781685265380

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Acknowledgements

Disclaimer

Preface

Opener: Married Guys Are Happiest, BUT…

Rookie Mistake #1: Not Listening to Her

Rookie Mistake #2: Rejecting Her Feminine Advice

Rookie Mistake #3: Not Making Her Number One

Rookie Mistake #4: Arguing with Her

Rookie Mistake #5: Not Appreciating Her

Rookie Mistake #6: Hurting Her Feelings

Rookie Mistake #7: Not Keeping Your Promises

Rookie Mistake #8: Apologizing Too Slowly

Rookie Mistake #9: Leaving Out Romance, aka Adventure

Rookie Mistake #10: Not Defending Her

Rookie Mistake #11: Minimizing Money Matters

Rookie Mistake #12: Not Really Knowing Her

Role Models

A Final Word—You're Always a Rookie

Afterword

About the Contributor

About the Author

cover.jpg

Rookie Mistake Most Guys Make

How Some Thrive While Others Barely Survive Marriage

Roger Quinlan, Jr

ISBN 978-1-68526-537-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68526-538-0 (Digital)

Copyright © 2023 Roger Quinlan, Jr.

All rights reserved

First Edition

Most of the names in the case studies—other than the personal experiences of the authors—are pseudonyms.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

To my best friend Georgeann, who has patiently recognized her rookie as a work in progress through the years—and faithfully stuck with me. You have made—and are making—my life richer, more adventurous and joyous.

—Roger Quinlan

For my wife Sarah, who provides daily reminders on preventing Rookie Mistakes; and to my girls Sophie and Sienna, who like to add their two cents too.

—Cory Quinlan

Acknowledgements

Many thanks are owed to those who shared their talents and counsel. A hearty thanks to Katie Ashby for her diligent editorial skills and advice. Also, a heartfelt thanks to our contributing cartoonists Sam Ashby, Sophie Quinlan, Sienna Quinlan, Riley Lauritzen, Madisen Quinlan and Marc Quinlan.

Disclaimer

This is not a comprehensive summary of all the rookie mistakes guys make, but it is a beginning. When I started sculpting this book, I wanted to limit the number of rookie mistakes to between six and ten. This became a tough task. Watching other guys—including our sons with their wives—provided a boatload of material that I just could not leave out. We did, however, whittle it down to a dozen basic rookie mistakes.

While we do note some research studies, if you're looking for a sophisticated PhD analysis, this is not your book. The basics of having a zesty, loving relationship are often not complicated. Creating a solid relationship may be similar to making a good income. In their book, The Millionaire Next Door, authors Danko and Stanley repeatedly note that budgeting & frugality are what make millionaires in America, not sophisticated investments. Similarly, focusing on your relationship—and prioritizing it—make for the best marriage.

It may not be easy to build a trusting, fun relationship—but it's often not complicated—and it is worth it!

The highest happiness on earth is in marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man — even if he has failed in everything else

—William Lyon Phelps

If she ain't happy, you ain't happy…and if she ain't happy long enough, you're going to be unhappy with half your stuff.

—Jeff Foxworthy

Preface

An Observation

For more than twenty-eight years, my wife and I traveled with the United States Air Force. We have had the opportunity to live in twelve different states in the US and visit the others. And we've had friends from cultures in Europe and Asia, as we've traveled those continents. A healthy portion of these friends and people with whom we associate are married couples in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. Most report that they are happily married.

While many of them may kid about their marriages, they do it with a cheerful smile on their faces. However, for virtually all of them, their marriages are the centerpiece of their individual lives. Some however may jest—as did the late, great Billy Graham—who described his relationship with his wife of 50 years as we're happily incompatible.

In this book, let's explore how to increase the odds that we're at least happily incompatible.

A Rookie Moment

The spark for this book came at the expense of a good friend. He (Robert V.) and I were driving back from a business trip to Atlanta sometime around the turn of this century. By all accounts, Robert is a good guy. He loves his wife, adores his kids, and treats others with respect. But on this particular day, Robert was off his game. As we're driving, I hear Robert promise his wife he'd call as soon as he got back to the office. It was a simple promise—and not a big deal, right? Wrong! It was a big deal—to his wife. We got back around 1:00 p.m. Around 3:00 p.m., I overhear Robert on the phone. It was obvious that it was his wife. It was also clear she was not happy. I'm pretty sure she said something like what time did you get back because I heard Robert quietly, but clearly say one o'clock (kudos to Robert for being honest). These were the last words of that discussion as the call abruptly ended. As he walked somberly by my office, I heard Robert mutter Rookie mistake…rookie mistake.

In that painful, yet glorious moment, a concept was born. We guys make "rookie mistakes" in spite of ourselves…and we desperately need coaching to stay out of trouble. While I felt a bit sorry for Robert's plight, I loved his word choice. The words rookie