Man: The Bewildered Wolf

By Kshi Sharma

Delve into the thought-provoking world of Man, the captivating first installment of the groundbreaking trilogy, Man, Wife, and Death. In this gripping tale, the reader is introduced to a man and his intricately crafted religion, forged in collaboration with his mother. Together, they navigate the complexities of society, grappling with moral dilemmas and striving to uphold what they perceive as righteous.

Within the pages of this compelling narrative, the line between fact and fable blurs as the protagonist delves into the very nature of religion itself. Contemplating profound questions, such as the fairness of sacrificing a sheep and the need for justice in society, the reader embarks on a journey of self-discovery, seeking answers to these thought-provoking quandaries and many more.

Embark on an immersive reading experience, delving into the journal of a restless wolf who rebels against the confines of society. Through his unfiltered musings, you will encounter a fusion of imagination and occasional violence, provoking both fascination and contemplation. As you gradually unravel the complexities of the wolf’s mind, you, too, will be compelled to confront a critical question: Will you align yourself with the audacious wolf or remain part of the passive herd?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: May 24, 2024
• ISBN: 9781638291664

Kshi Sharma

Kshi Sharma is a writer who likes to stay dynamic and produce books with various types of content. Ever since a young age, Kshi had the passion for the arts and to at least produce one book in his lifetime. He has studied high school but chose to drop out of university for idealistic reasons. Now he is hoping to publish his art to people and survive in the book market which is ever so competitive.

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About the Author

Kshi Sharma is a writer who likes to stay dynamic and produce books with various types of content. Ever since a young age, Kshi had the passion for the arts and to at least produce one book in his lifetime. He has studied high school but chose to drop out of university for idealistic reasons. Now he is hoping to publish his art to people and survive in the book market which is ever so competitive.

Dedication

My mother passed away in January 2021, this goes out to her and all the times she made me breakfast while I was in the room writing this book.

Funny how time runs.

Copyright Information ©

Kshi Sharma 2024

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Ordering Information

Quantity sales: Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.

Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data

Sharma, Kshi

Man

ISBN 9781638291657 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781638291664 (ePub e-book)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023908511

www.austinmacauley.com/us

First Published 2024

Austin Macauley Publishers LLC

40 Wall Street, 33rd Floor, Suite 3302

New York, NY 10005

USA

[e-mail]

[phone]

Acknowledgment

Special thanks to Austin Macauley Publishers for their commitment and expertise in bringing this book to fruition.

We Die Alone

Watching the starless night sky from this mountain top has always been my favorite activity. The cool breeze, the escape from the long humid days, the fresh air. It helps clear my mind which is usually filled with vivid violent thoughts. I lower my sight as it slowly drops down toward where the city is, the city of Shaun. I instantly look up, the lights from the rows and rows of buildings are almost blinding. I sometimes wonder why I even try to look down at the city, the hope of life visually displayed by humanity’s effort to fit in. I know I am better off alone; I always have been.

People may wonder what a middle-aged male like me would do on a Friday evening. Most would say that he would be spending time with his beloved wife or maybe even his family. I could say the same, but ever since the first year of college I have never had intimate relations with a woman. I am not ugly or anything, I just haven’t tried and after a few years of hoping to find the ‘right one’ I have given up. Given up on the concept of monogamy. I have become a religious follower of ‘everyone dies alone,’ which in many ways is true, even for non-human lives. A star is born in the universe through a mixture of gases and chemical reactions, these stars live long lives and have various effects on human lives, some believe them to be the souls of their dead, some believe them to be the light from a new romance and some think that they are simply stars. One way or another, they influence us and we know they exist…up until they die. When stars die, they become a black hole, an extremely dense object on the fabric of space-time, all of a sudden, a star doesn’t seem so appealing as it has died, it isn’t a pretty star which gave you pathetic human memories nor is it something you would look at and remember. As long as it doesn’t affect you or doesn’t bother your personal existence…so in layman’s terms, you will simply NOT GIVE A FUCK. The birth of a beautiful concept ends with the death of that same beautiful concept, just not so beautiful anymore.

I apologize for my built-up personal frustration, which I like to exert with strong passion as you may now be able to tell. Anyways, to answer the question what a middle-aged male like me would be doing on a cool Friday evening on the top of a mountain.

I am here to kill a sheep.

Laws of Love

I believe in every man’s life there will only be one woman who will love you unconditionally and one man who will let you down. My mother was the woman I would have given my life for but would never be able to as she would do the same for me, and she would be faster.

My mother was a very beautiful, truthful and outspoken woman, this might have caused her marriage to fail even before it began. However, a male brain only functions when the penis has gone stale, and when it did, so did the marriage. However, I have no complaints whatsoever. I have come to believe that I am more compatible with myself than anyone else could possibly be. If I were to ever find a female version of myself I would either kill myself or kill her depending on who spoke to whom first.

If I were to speak to her first, that would mean that I have expectations for our relationship and would hope for both of us to be together which would then lead to disappointment in my life in the long run which may lead me to severe depression and thus the process of killing myself. Now, I know that this may be stretching the truth, or you may think that I think this way because of my parents’ failed marriage but let me assure you that this is not true. Similarity doesn’t lead to compatibility, in that case Hitler’s wife would’ve been a larger tyrant than Hitler himself and I’m pretty sure she would have laughed at the idea of taking poison for love. It’s funny, a man who nearly dominated the world used the emotion of love to kill himself. It would be interesting to think whether he felt a fragment of guilt as he took his final breath.

If she were to speak to me first, it could mean a lot of things or it could mean nothing at all. It is possible that she could be interested in me, or she could just be flirting with me so she can get gain out of me. Now, if she is interested in me then she will not be very clear about it and if she just wants to use me, she won’t be very clear about it too, her motives will be hidden in a skillful array of conversational skills using body language and warm and kind words. It may seem like I enjoy thinking a lot, but I don’t, it’s a curse and it gives me headaches which would lead me to anger and thus to me killing this woman. Much like the government, you get to ‘choose’ what you want, you get to ‘live’ how you want, but the hidden motives of the government are never disclosed. The government functions as a cute blond woman with big tits, the tits are very important they keep your eyes off the horrendous amount of makeup. This cute blond could care for you a lot, but at the end of the day she lies, she steals but every now and then you will get the blowjob of your life. I am no government hater, as a matter of fact I believe she is necessary, a follower is followed if he chooses to follow. And the concept of following is very important for human existence, I just choose not to believe in it or follow it.

Or maybe I just overthink.

Shaun

I have a strange affiliation to the city of Shaun, I was born and raised here and have probably been living here for about 20 years or so, I have mixed feelings about the time I’ve spent in Shaun. My mother died in this city, my parents split up in this city, my dad ran and left me alone in this city, overall it’s not a good case for the city but I can’t blame the city for the faults of humans.

It is usually quiet where I live, there are the occasional bird and animal sounds but they do not worry me, humans are the fiercest predators in the world, so I find it humorous that a human should be fearful of little animal sounds. As a matter of fact, they calm me and help me sleep at night, knowing I’m the only creature in the middle of nowhere which is rather soothing. Being alone has become a lifestyle for me, I think if I tried to live with someone at this stage of my life, I’d kill them. You may be wondering why I talk so much about killing and have probably assumed that I am a psychopath. However, to the contrary I don’t think I am, I speak to myself a lot but that’s due to me not having any connections to the real world. So I end up just speaking to myself a lot. I am probably a sociopath. I just kill animals for food which I guess makes me like any other human being in the world.

The city of Shaun is a rather calm and quiet place, this as a matter of fact is what attracts me to the city other than the fact that I was born here. There is an extremely low crime rate in Shaun, with occasional murders and missing people reports. People rarely pay attention to those things. The newspapers are filled with election candidates which don’t even matter as only 12% of the population votes. What you need to know about Shaun is that money talks, and when the money is doing the talking there is not much time for listening. The city that runs on a dollar sign and the succession of the dollar sign lies in the riches of the people. I could just sit here and paint a picture for you so you can imagine this city in your mind but trust me, when the killing comes the picture of the city will not lie in your minds, it will evaporate as you devour the feeling of power in your minds. The feeling of killing.

Here he goes about killing again…

Shaun has rich areas and poor areas and areas that just want freedom from all the lights and city sounds. I personally prefer the quieter areas and the cheap areas are great for food for the poor as they struggle a lot. Shaun is a society where knowledge is well wanted because of the system that it runs by. Textiles, restaurants, financial sectors, tourism, government offices, transport, war, safety and the scum of it all…crime. These sectors turn billions of dollars in revenue and keep the city running. With enough knowledge you could become really powerful in Shaun but the problem is…

There are too many sheep.

Hunger

It’s funny how the current world I live in functions. The rich get fatter and the poor get slimmer. There is no loss in the poor getting poorer, that’s just how the fish tank of a world we live in works. The sharks get to eat the little fish, the little fish eat nothing but shit and all the other fish, well they just suck the sharks’ cock. My proposition here is why can’t the small fish get a chance to become a little bigger, why must the small fish stay so small…it’s a huge ocean isn’t it, there is a lot of space for small fish to grow and develop into bigger better fish that the sharks can then munch on. Stay poor or die trying to get rich.

How I eat is a little peculiar. Straight out the bat, I eat human meat. I myself am a human. This must create some confusion and density in the air. Let me clear it up, I am a cannibal. Judge me all you want but cannibalism is the religion I have chosen to follow. As a matter of fact, I have a sheep in the back trunk of my car, he has been sedated and so his silent screams cannot be heard. He is lying there with no idea what will happen when his eyes open, and that’s the beauty of it, neither do you.

My father was a chef, he worked in one of the lights in this city. He always used to tell me he is a chef and since the word chef sounds rather French, I had a very bright image of his occupation for about three years which is all I remember from him as after that he left. Ironically, my mother who is not a chef is the one who would cook the food for the family. In my family there is me, my father and the queen who is my mother. The queen because her image in the house was similar to that of a queen, but she worked like a slave. For hours she would be in her room, cooking.

The phase of hunger lasts a few weeks. Before hunger there is a fast. Now I won’t bullshit around the details of the fast, it is horrible. In the fast the need for human meat grows immensely. In the first week of the fast there is an increase in anxiety levels which then causes body aches. It is relative don’t you think…everything is relative, I choose to live through this series of living because relatively it gives me enough joy and peace to continue doing so. Time itself is relative but…

I’ve forgotten as time doesn’t guide me anymore, my hunger does and when your hunger guides you, evidently you stop caring about time.

To eat you must get hungry and to get hungry you must first move, this is a universal fact of the world, we have to move to get hungry. I move every day and I enjoy moving.

Fairs right that I get to eat.

Bedroom Politics

He would cough, and she would laugh. He would cough louder then she would laugh louder. A contest to get attention from a wolf. A bewildered wolf no less. He would cough then say a few words about the TV, she would laugh then say a few words about the TV. I never knew what they were watching. He would cough then argue with her about spending money on the wrong things. She would laugh and argue with him about smoking and drinking too much. He would laugh, then she would cry. With time the fabric of space-time itself can be viewed in a wider length, in a wider array of symbolisms and pictures. All that scientific bullshit means that everything becomes predictable. History loops around and overlaps itself and repeats like the beat of a Hip-Hop song. She would blackmail him; he would threaten her. She will want to kill him; she will want to fuck him. He will want to strangle her then he would want to fuck her. And then they would fuck. In perfect silence like murderers they would fuck.

Me personally, I didn’t enjoy much of the fucking, listening to the tremors of the bed made me almost obnoxious. This was not due to the fact that I disliked fucking, I just had no opinion of it. Memoirs are written by sensitive females who tend to lack love in life. Me, I just lacked meat. Me and my mother shared a rather misconstrued relationship, there was definitely love in the rims of our relationship but to reach the rims there had to be a lot of work and effort put in, which I, myself was not a very big fan of. See, work desensitizes the human mind into believing their existence is of much importance but it very well isn’t. Look at it in the way of a hamster running around in the commercially popular wheels they are always seen in. A hamster doesn’t understand why it runs in the wheel of worries of falling off, it just runs. Now, I am not saying there is anything wrong with running on a wheel for a large proportion of your life, believing it will lead to something but there are upsets in the idea of it. What if the hamster falls sick, what if the hamster stops wanting to run, what if the hamster’s legs get tired? A lot of what ifs can make a happy hamster life very very dull which will them lead to the death of this very same poor hamster.

My father and I never spoke, but to disclose the depths of my writing I will say one thing. I wish I got a chance to love him but I never could and never will.

This is because my mother cooked and killed him and fed him to me. He tasted very bland and his meat was dark. You can’t love what you eat but you are what you eat. My mother served him to me as a steak, a soup, a stir fry, a curry, a vinaigrette and many other ways, it was a moment of celebration even better than my birthday. Me and my mother finally would smile after eating him and would share a kiss and I remember those kisses being so sweet for it was my father who had given us all this pain. This path was not for the weak but for the strong and even though my father was an asshole, knowing