In Valor: 365 Meditations for First Responders

By Kristofor Healey and Adam Davis

Stoicism offers tools for cultivating mental resilience in the face of adversity. By teaching us what is within our control and encouraging us to live a life in alignment with the cardinal virtues of wisdom, justice, temperance, and courage, Stoicism is a tailor-made operating system for first responders nav

• Language: English
• Publisher: Team Healey, LLC
• Release date: Jun 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869381101

Book preview

January

CIRCUMSPECTION

The Stoics emphasized the importance of circumspection, which they referred to as prosoche in Greek. In Stoic philosophy, circumspection involves being mindful and attentive in every moment, focusing on one's actions, thoughts, and judgments. It is about being aware of one's inner state and external environment. The Stoics believed this circumspection was essential for living a virtuous and flourishing life, and they argued that by practicing it, individuals could develop greater self-awareness and make wiser choices in accordance with reason and virtue.

For first responders, circumspection is a critical skill to cultivate. We must be mindful of our actions, being fully present in the current moment and paying attention to our own thoughts, biases and prejudices so that we can better respond to external events in a rational, moral and virtuous manner. We must engage in self-examination, reflecting on our own thoughts, desires and beliefs to identify our moral shortcomings and improve our character. And, perhaps, most importantly, we must question and confront our irrational and erroneous judgments about external events and work to gain the most accurate understanding of the realities we face.

Circumspection is not merely a theoretical exercise but a practical one meant to guide virtuous action. By being circumspect, we align our thoughts and behaviors with ethical action and examine our intentions to ensure they align with virtuous principles. The most effective way for us to employ circumspection is to keep a record of our daily thoughts and actions, so if you haven’t already done so, I would encourage you to purchase a journal as a companion to this book so that you might begin to keep a record that you can leverage for greater insight into your character and impressions. 

January 1

Know the Difference

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I control.

Epictetus

The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we cannot. The Stoics referred to this as the Dichotomy of Control. It’s a simple concept that, once embraced, has the potential to completely change how we deal with life, problems, and suffering. Think for a moment about how much you worry about every day that is beyond your control. You’re running late because a fender bender caused traffic to back up. The selecting official for the promotion you applied for chose to elevate the office lickspittle over you. 

No amount of honking will clear the traffic. And no amount of ruminating on the fairness of the selection process will undo the outcome. So, what do you gain by polluting your thoughts with that which you cannot control? When we try to control the uncontrollable, we feel powerless, frustrated, and anxious. We become ineffective, bitter, and angry. We remain stuck. And people who are stuck often turn to complaining, whining, and moaning over advancing action. 

Better that we focus our attention on what is in our control than ruminating over what we cannot control. Our beliefs, our values, and our actions. Focusing on what we control allows us to take action that moves us forward. We can become more efficient and effective. We can pour energy into things that improve our lives. 

Journal Prompt:

What is within my control, and what is not?

January 2

Move Your Feet

Methinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.

Henry David Thoreau

The Stoics were no strangers to the arena and used sports to develop self-discipline, persistence, and endurance and to gain and impart wisdom. The Greek Stoic Chrysippus was a long-distance runner, while other Stoics were boxers or wrestlers. They used these athletic endeavors to train for hardship so that they could thrive in life’s adversity. But they found a second benefit to the practice of physical training: clarity of thought. 

While running can cultivate self-discipline, endurance, and persistence, it also allows us considerable time for focus and mental lucidity. The simple act of going for a run can break thought barriers and eliminate the superfluous and unimportant. So too walking. 

Marcus Aurelius would often begin his days by walking in nature to seek stillness and steel his mind in preparation for the day ahead. As the Emperor of Rome, Marcus faced daily challenges and stressors, and taking a walk allowed him to slow down and decompress. 

As a first responder, you will face daily physical and mental endurance challenges. You will be overstimulated and consumed by chaos. But like the Stoics, when you find yourself stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed, you can find answers and clarity in the most simple and human act of moving your feet. 

Journal Prompt:

Leave the phone and music behind and go for a walk. Use the stillness to center yourself and clear your mind.

January 3

Age Versus Experience

"A man with white hair and wrinkles hasn’t lived long – he has just existed long."

Seneca

The Stoics believed that time is our most valuable resource and the only thing we can never get back. Therefore, we must seek to constantly develop ourselves in the time that we have. 

In Atomic Habits, James Clear tells the story of the British cycling team who took this theory to the extreme with impressive results when they hired Dave Brailsford as their performance director in 2003. At the time of Brailsford’s hiring, British cyclists had won just one gold medal at the Olympic Games since 1908, and no British cyclist had ever won the Tour de France. Brailsford immediately implemented a strategy that he called the aggregation of marginal gains, which involved making tiny improvements in everything they did. By making hundreds of small improvements in everything from gear to clothing to grip to recovery, Brailsford turned British Cycling into a dominant force that won 60 percent of the gold medals awarded in the 2008 Olympic Games and set nine Olympic Records and seven World Records at the 2012 Olympics. Moreover, British cyclists would go on to win five Tour de France titles between 2012 and 2017. 

Time is what we make of it, as Brailsford demonstrated by helping to propel British Cycling to the top of the sport in a mere five years after 95 years of consistent underperformance. Never underestimate the major success that can be achieved with marginal gains over time and the impact that you can have by seeking daily improvement. 

Journal Prompt:

Where can I get one percent better today?

January 4

You Are Not Rich

When a youth was giving himself airs in the theater and saying, I am wise for I have conversed with many wise men, Epictetus said, I too have conversed with many rich men, yet I am not rich.

Epictetus

To Stoics, the wise man is the ideal. And though it is the ideal, it is exceedingly rare and only born out of constant practice and humility. It is vital to seek the ideal, striving every day to gain perfect consistency of our rational faculties so that we may see the world as it is and act in accordance with nature. Yet, we often give ourselves too much credit for how far we have advanced. 

Wisdom no more comes from conversations with the wise, as wealth comes from conversations with the wealthy. No, we must practice and apply what we learn to gain wisdom and wealth and seek constant improvement as we do. 

Humility, therefore, is the path to true wisdom. Ego will always impede improvement and cloud reality. 

Journal Prompt:

Where is my ego impeding my improvement?

January 5

Hold Your Own Court

How sweet is the sleep that follows this self-examination.

Seneca

It is difficult to engage in an accurate self-assessment of our own worth. Most people underestimate themselves, their skills, or what they can achieve or, conversely, overvalue what they have already done. This is why Stoics like Seneca and Epictetus adopted a form of daily self-examination that originated with Pythagoras. Pythagoras’ The Golden Verses suggest every evening, we should ask ourselves three questions:

What did you do amiss?

What did you do?

What duty was left undone?

Seneca likened this daily examination to defending oneself in court and noted that the practice helped him sleep more soundly at night. 

To become what we truly wish to become, we must first be sincere about who we are and spend time measuring our progress daily. Practicing this self-examination every night can heighten our awareness throughout the day and ensure that we focus on what is within our control. 

Journal Prompt:

What did you do amiss? What did you do? What duty was left undone?

January 6

Delight in Receiving Advice

A good man delights in receiving advice: all the worst men are the most impatient of guidance.

Seneca

Seneca lived roughly around the time of Christ, so it’s possible he was aware of the Hebrew Bible and, in particular, the Book of Proverbs and its focus on wisdom—a virtue cherished by the Stoics. Proverbs 12:15 (NLT) reminds us of wisdom: Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. 

Whether inspired by Proverbs or by his own oft-ignored counsel of the corrupt and debauched Emperor Nero, Seneca understood that ego impedes the advancement of wisdom and that ration requires us to seek out advice from others to improve our own understanding of the world. 

Throughout your career, you will receive copious amounts of unsolicited advice. While it is tempting to tune it out, doing so can make the job more difficult than it needs to be and limit you to a single source for solving problems—you! 

It's hard to admit that we're "awed or that we don’t have all the answers. But foolishly believing that our ideas are better than anyone else’s allows pride to stand in the way of our progress. Accepting advice takes humility and openness. You don’t have to accept or apply every piece offered, but you should delight in receiving it. 

Journal Prompt:

Seek advice and counsel from a colleague today and delight in receiving it.

January 7

You Can Always Change Yourself

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor Frankl

Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist, neurologist, and Holocaust survivor who developed the concept of logotherapy, which emphasizes the search for meaning and purpose in life. 

In 1942, the Nazis sent Frankl and his family to the Theresienstadt ghetto. Over the next three years, Frankl endured four concentration camps and the deaths of his father, mother, brother, and wife to starvation, disease, and the gas chambers. 

Frankl endured unimaginable loss and horror at the hands of his tormentors, but rather than become consumed by despair or resignation to a hopeless situation beyond his control, Frankl endeavored to cultivate resilience in himself, taking responsibility for his own emotional and mental well-being and seeking meaning in every moment of living. His 1946 book, Man’s Search For Meaning, chronicling his survival story, has sold more than ten million copies worldwide. In it, he states that we can discover meaning in three different ways (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.

Frankl’s story offers a powerful reminder that whatever external circumstances you face on duty or off, you always have control over internal factors such as your attitude, perspective, reactions, and ability to find and ascribe meaning to what you do. 

Journal Prompt:

How can I change my attitude, perspective, and inner reactions to situations outside my control to become more resilient? 

January 8

You Were Made for This

In the morning when thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present: I am rising to the work of a human being. Why then am I dissatis!ed if I am going to do the things for which I exist and for which I was brought into the world? Or have I been made for this, to lie in the bed-clothes and keep myself warm?

Marcus Aurelius

Are you not a morning person? No worries. Even the Emperor of Rome didn’t want to get out of bed. But Marcus Aurelius also understood what we must all understand: We have work to do, and it doesn’t get done under the covers. 

Do you have a stressful job? Indeed. But imagine for a moment you are Marcus Aurelius camped among your legions on the banks of the Danube at your empire’s northernmost boundary. Imagine the weight of the responsibility as you lead a military campaign to push back the Germanic tribes who have been raiding and invading your homeland. And imagine knowing how you act and what you say and do here will echo in eternity. How tempting the covers must have been for a man with those responsibilities awaiting him each morning! And, yet, he rose because nature and duty compelled him to rise.

Marcus did not give himself a choice in the morning. He understood that he controlled his actions and must be disciplined in executing his mission, task, and purpose. So must you. You are the accumulation of your habits. Those habits can serve you or impair you. They can create discipline or sloth. Which habit will you cultivate?

Journal Prompt:

Eliminate the snooze button and attack the day.

January 9

It’s All in Your Head

Clear your mind and get a hold on yourself and, as when awakened from sleep and realizing it was only a bad dream upsetting you, wake up and see that what’s there is just like those dreams.

Marcus Aurelius

We all have bad dreams from time to time, but when we awake, we dismiss them for what they are—figments of our imaginations. We understand the monsters and demons that visit us in our sleep are make-believe and cannot harm us in the light of day, so why should we suffer from them? We fail to realize that most things that upset us or cause us anxiety in our waking hours are also inventions of the mind. 

Like Seneca before him, Marcus understood that we suffer far more in imagination than in reality, and so he reminded himself of it often, exhorting himself to get a hold on yourself. 

Left unchecked, our fears and anxieties can be crippling. Worry, confusion, doubt, emotional distress, and depression are consistently top of mind. And the more attention we give them, the more we feed them and make them stronger. 

Stop! 

You are wasting your precious time fretting over things you cannot control. Remember instead what you do control: the power of choice. 

You can choose to be indifferent to that which you cannot control. You can choose to interrupt the destructive pattern of negative thoughts. Your mind is a computer. Stop programming it to suffer unnecessarily. 

Journal Prompt:

Where am I suffering most in my imagination?

January 10

Make Your Bed

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

Admiral William McRaven (U.S. Navy, Retired)

In May 2014, Admiral William McRaven delivered a commencement speech to his alma mater, the University of Texas. In the speech, McRaven, who led Operation Neptune’s Spear, the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, discussed his 36-year career in the U.S. Navy SEALs and ten key values that he learned in the course of his time in basic SEAL training that guided his life. The first lesson McRaven relayed to the graduates was this: make your bed.

McRaven explained that his instructors would inspect his rack every morning during BUDS to ensure it was made to perfection. It was a mundane task with profound consequences for McRaven and his fellow SEAL trainees. You see, the instructors understood that if a trainee couldn’t do the little things right - things like making your bed - they would never be able to do the big things right. McRaven further explained to the graduates that making your bed every morning is a win. It is the first task completed each day and one that will encourage you to do another task and another and another. And like dominoes falling, by the end of the day, that first task completed will have turned into many tasks completed.

In your career, the small task that jumpstarts your day may not literally be making your bed, but the point is to find the first domino that, once pushed, will set things in motion in a positive direction. As long as you accomplish this task daily, you will start on the right foot. 

Journal Prompt:

Identify your first domino and make it a habit.  

January 11

Measure Then Manage

Let sleep not come upon thy languid eyes Before each daily action thou hast scanned; What’s done amiss, what done, what left undone; From first to last examine all, and then Blame what is wrong in what is right rejoice.

Epictetus

There is an old business adage that says you can’t manage what you don’t measure. It is why most successful businesses use some form of Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs, to measure achievement over time. Tracking revenue, customer capture, sales leads, employee turnover, profit margin, and other metrics can help business owners determine whether they are on track and where adjustments need to be made. Police departments are adopting similar measures to track response time, recidivism rates, public safety, and crime data in their communities and improve their operations. Long before KPIs were de rigueur in business and public policy, the Stoics employed them in their personal lives. After all, how could they be assured they were living with virtue if they didn’t measure their progress? It’s why Epictetus examined each day for what he accomplished, did wrong, and didn’t finish. 

You can employ KPIs to improve your personal performance as well. Want to lose ten pounds? Set a calorie deficit and track your macros. Want to have more in your savings account? Set a budget and stick to it. Want to improve your next PT test? Track your workouts and apply progressive overload precepts. 

If you aren’t willing to honestly assess your performance in something and define the measurable goals to establish the desired outcome, you can’t possibly get better at it. Discipline is only half the battle. 

Journal Prompt:

What are my Key Performance Indicators, and how can I measure them?

January 12

It Isn’t Worth the Argument

The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.

Epictetus

In the Stoic framework, things within our control are often referred to as internal things. These include our thoughts, beliefs, values, attitudes, choices, and actions. They are aspects of our lives that we have the power to influence and direct according to our own will. On the other hand, things outside our control, often termed external things, encompass other people's actions, opinions, societal norms, and reactions to circumstances beyond our influence. 

In the social media-driven world we inhabit, where an edited clip of an officer’s interaction with the public rockets worldwide in an instant, we are often painted with the broad brush opinions of those who would never dare take the oath to protect and defend. But it is a free society, and everyone is entitled to their opinion about the police, however misguided, wrong-headed, or just plain hateful it may be. And as tempted as we are to push back on false narratives, we must not get so caught up in those opinions that we lose sight of the fact that we have no control over them. 

The way to care less about what other people think and put less value into their opinions is to simply focus on living in accordance with virtue. By directing our attention to the internal, we can free ourselves from the anxiety, frustration, and disappointment that arise from trying to change a narrative outside our control. And when we become less preoccupied with trying to change the unchangeable and instead focus on making intentional choices that align with our values, we improve as public servants. 

Journal Prompt:

Take a 24-hour news and social media fast. Direct that energy and attention internally where it can serve a purpose.   

January 13

Fortify Your Inner Citadel

Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.

Marcus Aurelius

Every celebrity guru will sell you some version of the same mantra: With my patented, proprietary method, you can change your thoughts and, thereby, change your life! But long before Ted Talks were en vogue, the Stoics had developed their own concept for changing their thoughts and improving their lives. They called it the inner citadel. 

The inner citadel describes a sanctuary or fortress of the mind that remains impervious and represents a state of tranquility and resilience. Stoics developed and maintained this inner citadel by developing self- awareness, practicing self-discipline, and aligning their judgments with reason and virtue. They believed that by training their minds, they could detach themselves from the desires, passions, and attachments that often lead to suffering and unrest. 

In modern terms, your brain is like a computer. It will operate as programmed. 

One way to program your mind and fortify your inner citadel is to mentally rehearse positive thoughts and mantras "rst thing in the morning. By reminding yourself what you stand for, what your values are, and what your purpose is, you fortify your mind. 

This doesn’t have to be a complicated or time-consuming exercise. It can take as little as a few minutes. By simply retreating to your inner citadel and aligning your thoughts with reason and virtue, you’ll cultivate resilience to face challenges with moral integrity. 

Journal Prompt:

What do I stand for, what are my values, and what is my purpose?

January 14

Memento Mori

You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.

Marcus Aurelius

Most of us are taught the concept of gratitude as children when our parents direct us to say please and thank you. But in this Amazon Prime, drive-thru world, it increasingly feels as though our society has eschewed gratitude in favor of entitlement. Gratitude is the polar opposite of entitlement. Gratitude is humble, quiet, and gentle, while entitlement is demanding, loud, and abrasive. Gratitude is attractive and strengthens relationships, while entitlement is repellant and weakens them. Gratitude is virtue; entitlement is vice. 

As police, we face the poisonous attitude of entitlement more than most. Every day we interact with people who don’t believe the rules apply to them. Who among us, after all, hasn’t heard some version of Do you know who my dad is? So how do we avoid becoming embittered by this corrosive and contagious mind virus? By reflecting on the impermanence of life and remembering that we could leave it at any time. 

Memento Mori is a Stoic concept that roughly translates to remember you will die. It isn’t meant to be fatalistic or depressing; rather, it is intended to give us perspective so that we remain grateful for the present moment and focus on living each heartbeat well. 

When we remember that we must die, we naturally become less entitled, more grateful, appreciative, and less smug. The antidote to entitlement is gratitude, and nothing promotes gratitude like the reminder that death is a certainty for everyone. 

Journal Prompt:

What am I truly grateful for in the present moment?

January 15

Free of Pollution, Free of Corruption

The proper work of the mind is the exercise of choice, refusal, yearning, repulsion, preparation, purpose, and assent. What then can pollute and clog the mind’s proper functioning? Nothing but its own corrupt decisions.

Epictetus

Our theme for this month is circumspection, or mindfulness. It is about starting the year with prosoché, as the early Stoics called it—the attitude and practice of attentiveness to the moment. 

Like the year, we are young and not at all perfect. We are what the Stoics called prokopton - students on the path. And like academy cadets, we must make daily progress - always learning, improving, and moving forward with eudaimonia (the good spirit). 

Our minds do not become polluted or corrupted without our permission. We must choose that path just as we choose the path of purpose, self-control, and discipline. One path cultivates tranquility (ataraxia) and peace of mind, the other dissatisfaction and misery. 

Our proper work, this day, and every day, is to stay on the path free of pollution and corruption. 

Journal Prompt:

What things outside my control are polluting and corrupting my thoughts, and how can I get back on the right path?

January 16

Sticks and Stones

Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.

Marcus Aurelius

We’ve all been there. A conversation has turned heated, tempers flare, and we find ourselves on the receiving end of a stream of invective. If we allow our passions to lead us, we may feel hurt and respond in kind. After all, hurt people hurt people. But aside from scoring points or upping the insult ante, what have we accomplished when we bark back? Nothing of value.

No less than the Emperor of Rome, a man who could have called forward his legions to respond to any verbal slight with violence of action, reminds us that there is another path. 

At the core of Marcus Aurelius' statement lies the Stoic notion that our perceptions and judgments shape our experiences. He highlights the power of choice and personal agency in determining how we interpret and respond to events. By consciously choosing not to be harmed, we change the power dynamic and exercise control over our own reactions and emotional well-being. This mindset empowers us to navigate challenges with resilience and maintain an inner sense of peace and equanimity.

Said another way, sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us…unless we choose to be hurt. 

Journal Prompt:

What words have I allowed to harm me, and how can I choose not to be harmed?

January 17

Lead by Example

Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.

Marcus Aurelius

Have you ever spent any time with a U.S. Navy SEAL? If you have, you’ve noticed that they don’t waste time on excuses. After all, why would they? They have built their lives around an ethos that calls for loyalty, honor, determination, perseverance, honesty, and uncompromising integrity. Nowhere in their ethos will you find the words but, unless, or excuse. There is simply no time or tolerance for it. By being ruthlessly strict with themselves, SEALs strive for personal excellence, constantly challenging and refining their thoughts, behaviors, and actions to get one percent better. They understand that their lifestyle isn’t for everyone, so wasting time worrying about why others don’t meet their exacting standards would only distract them from their commitment to excellence.

Like the SEALs, Marcus understood that he was an imperfect work in progress. And like the SEALs, he understood that he could not make others equal to the high standards he set for himself. So, he didn’t try. Better to spend all of that energy on making himself into a leader worth following. Can you say the same for yourself? Are you the most squared-away officer in the squad room? Are you the PT stud or the expert shooter? Were you the honor graduate from your academy class? Or can you get one percent better? 

The next time you are tempted to criticize a fellow officer, turn the criticism inward. Ask yourself if you are as strict with yourself as you could be, then hold your tongue and get to work. You can’t control someone else’s effort or discipline, but you can damn sure control yours. Save your energy for your own self-improvement. 

Journal Prompt:

Where can I get more strict with myself?

January 18

The Man in the Mirror

If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.

Marcus Aurelius

In his excellent book Hate, Inc.: Why Today’s Media Makes Us Despise One Another, independent journalist Matt Taibbi reveals how the press has mastered the art of monetizing anger, paranoia, and distrust. Taibbi, a veteran election reporter, shows how this kind of manipulative activity is especially egregious at election time and lays bare political journalism's dirty tricks to keep us tuned in and turned up.

Taibbi’s central thesis, that what most people think of as ‘the news’ is, in fact, a twisted wing of the entertainment business, is, of course, true. The news is little more than an advertising vehicle, and to keep you tethered to the screen for the next round of commercials, it is necessary to keep feeding you things designed to ratify your political priors and keep you upset at the other side. 

But what if you simply refused to participate?

No, I am not suggesting that you become intentionally uninformed. As a public servant, it is important to understand the issues that might impact your job. But I am suggesting that your participation in the daily outrage cycle is purely voluntary and can be turned off at your discretion. And that begins with remembering that the latest news out of Congress or the Supreme Court does not actually disturb you. No, it is your judgment about that news that disturbs you. And of that, you have the power to control.

Journal Prompt:

Cut the cable news out of your information diet. Consume reporting from various sources that are less incentivized to keep you outraged.

January 19

Fall in Love With the Process

No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.

Epictetus

NBA star Patrick Beverley made news in May of 2023 when he declared on his podcast that 50 percent of NBA players do not actually love the game of basketball. Asked to explain, Beverly compared