Single, Saved, & Showing

By Tammy L Houston

Tammy Houston's journey is a testament to the power of faith and resilience. In her heartfelt memoir, "Single, Saved, and Showing," she fearlessly opens up about her struggles with straying from her spiritual path and succumbing to worldly temptations. Despite k

• Language: English
• Publisher: Houston Books
• Release date: May 5, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869360847

Book preview

Dedication

To the reader of my first book,

This is my true story, laid bare on these pages. I offer it to you with an open heart, in the hope that it may serve as a guiding light through your own twists and turns in life.

To the ones who stumble, fall, and rise again, may you find solace in knowing that even in our moments of greatest tests, there is divine protection, and love that never wavers.

This book is dedicated to you, dear reader, with the sincerest wish that my journey may offer you courage, comfort, and a reminder that you are never alone.

With gratitude and love,

Tammy

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

Chapter One: The Birth of my Son

Chapter Two: Finding My Way

Chapter Three: Homeless: Spiritually and Physically

Chapter Four: 30 Days, No Car, and No Job

Chapter Five: Swallowing Pride

Chapter Six: Parents

Chapter Seven: Entering in to Sexual Sin

Chapter Eight: Showing

Chapter Nine: A Victim of Circumstance

Chapter Ten: The Beginning of the End

Chapter Eleven: Early Abuse

Chapter Twelve: Mom

Chapter Thirteen: Dating as a Single Mom

Chapter Fourteen: Mental Health Make-Up

Chapter Fifteen: Fear

Chapter Sixteen: Healing

Chapter Seventeen: Medical Scares

Chapter Eighteen: Relationships and Situationships

Chapter Nineteen: Father Wounds

Chapter Twenty: Haunted

Chapter Twenty-One: Doing God’s Job

Chapter Twenty-Two: Dating Potential

Chapter Twenty-Three: Moving Past It

Chapter Twenty-Four: Forgiving, but not Forgetting

Chapter Twenty-Five: Appreciating Me

Chapter Twenty-Six: The Lord’s Will

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Healing Part

Important Definitions

Songs for the Process

Resources

Other Books

About the Author

Chapter One

The Birth of my Son

A

re you sure you in labor this time? I don’t want to come down there and you not having the baby this time. Have you been drinking water? The House Mother asked, as I called her from the hospital. It still seemed unreal. I was at the doctor’s office for a regular 40 week visit and was sent to the hospital because something didn’t look right. Every time I had a contraction, my son’s heart rate would decrease. I had learned not to panic so I just followed the directions from the nurse and took a shuttle to the hospital. It wasn’t far away. I didn’t even get in a wheelchair when I was offered one. I wobbled in and waited for them to see me. It was my second or third time going in, so the House Mother wanted to make sure that I was actually going to deliver my son this time. I had given my doctor my delivery plan. I didn’t want to be in stirrups. I recall a doctor coming to check me to see how far I had dilated. I kicked him. It hurt to have my cervix checked. I wasn’t used to that. I had music on my phone; a playlist for intense labor, and calm music for afterwards, but my phone was dead. I asked to have some ocean music playing in the room while I was in labor. They gave me something to get my mucus plug to come out. It came out in the bathroom. I was not very compliant and had to be reminded to breath. The House Mother was there to remind me to breathe. She came to be with me after the hospital decided to keep me this time. I was having my first child. It was my first pregnancy. I didn’t recall much of what I saw in the videos about giving birth. My appointment with the doctor was at 9am, but I was still at the hospital at 11pm. I never got the chance to push. I didn’t dilate enough. I think the most I dilated was 2 cm. By 2am the next day, I was told that I had to have a Cesarean section. A lady was having twins at that moment, so I had to wait. I later found out that my son’s umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. I vowed not to take anything that would hurt him, but before the procedure, I asked for something for pain. I recall sitting on a table and being told to sit down and reach forward. I asked, How do I do that with my belly?" I asked if someone could stand in front of me so I could touch their shoulders and bend over to get the epidural to numb the pain.

I remember feeling them moving stuff around in my abdomen during the c-section. I felt them take him out. I heard him cry and wanted to see him. I recall asking for my glasses and if my son had all his fingers and toes. I wanted to be able to see him once they cleaned him up. The House Mother saw him first. I was excited, but I couldn’t hold him yet because they weren’t done putting my parts back in and closing me up. They knew that I wanted to breastfeed. I was excited about it. I didn’t want to do formula and I already knew that it was super expensive. I wanted to bond with my son. I had already had my first Mother’s Day before his birth, but this made it seem entirely more official. My temperature was extremely high, so we were in the hospital for 5 days after I had him.

My mom, sisters and brother came to the hospital. Ministers and friends from church came as well. One friend helped me tremendously with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was painful and I wanted to know why one of my nipples was bleeding. I overheard the lactation nurses talking to a different mom. When they got to my room, I explained to them what was going on and they said the exact same thing that they said to the other moms. I was furious because what I said seemed to be blatantly ignored. I continued to breastfeed. If I remember correctly, I had a pump. It was a manual pump, but it helped. My friend who helped me with breastfeeding also took pictures of my baby in the hospital. She also helped me with positioning him for nursing. I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t breastfed and my mom seemed embarrassed that I was doing it. Later I found out that she was breastfed.

My family came probably around noon. My phone wasn’t charged so I had to call them from the phone in the hospital room. It took a while after his birth to get back to a room. His temperature was low, so he had to be put in an incubator. I was next to him while someone was pressing on my abdomen. It was painful but I was assured that it was in my best interest to get it done. It was to massage my uterus to help it contract and prevent blood clots, possibly to prevent postpartum hemorrhaging. I recall that it hurt to laugh. I dealt with the pain and kept looking over at my son in the incubator.

My younger sister spent some time with me. One of the nurses (I’ll call her rude nurse) assumed that she was also a mom. My sister and I watched her closely. A different nurse who was very helpful came to get some blood. I always tell them, My veins are small, and they are prone to rolling. Usually, a butterfly needle is used. Its usually hard to get my blood, but the rude nurse in the room made it more difficult. My arms were black and blue when it was done. Rude Nurse moved my arm up to show the nice nurse my veins. I guess she thought I was going to be silent. I said, Hey that’s my arm! She put it back down. "I had to look at her badge. I wanted to make sure the hospital knew how rude she was. No new mom should have to deal with additional uncalled for stress. I was relieved when she left. My OBGYN came to check on me. He was out of town during the birth, but I was happy to see him. He is nice. When I was trying to go back home and wait it out for labor to start, thinking I had more time, he showed me on a