Tadpoles & Fireflies: "figuring it out"

By Diana Vistein

This story takes you from the recollections of a four-year-old through the years to a baby boomer's senior years. A glimpse of elementary school, junior high, and high school, to college and beyond. She shares her relationships, lets us know her family, friends, teachers, and colleagues. You will learn to know her and those who were and are part of her life- the ones who changed her life. There are loves and loses, all portrayed in a sincere, honest, and, many times, humorous way. It is written in a stream of consciousness manner, so you need to pay attention to keep up, or you'll miss some of the laughs and some of the tears, possibly all of the fun and all of the memories. The beginning is a bit like Happy Days meets A Christmas Story, without the bunny suit or BB gun. Through all of this is the emotional story of the person living it, and you'll feel it-the joy and the pain, the friendships, and hardships, and the great love of her life. The theme of this tale told from a senior point of view is the leap from childhood to puberty to adulthood and trying to negotiate all the changes physically, mentally, and strategically. The author leads you along the way in a manner that pushes you turn to the next page. Moving along with this small-town Midwestern firstborn tomboy through her senior years, the time when the realization hits that most of her life has gone by. Time to now assess all the choices, the decisions, the mistakes, and the victories and maybe devise a plan for the remaining future. Wanting to leave a story for her daughters and their children, Diane opens up her heart and lets you in, pulls you in. A journal becomes a novel, and the story is told. It is overwhelmingly a feel-good story with a bit of heartbreak thrown in...the story of a life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098022655

Book preview

cover.jpg

Tadpoles and Fireflies

figuring it out

Diana Vistein

Copyright © 2020 by Diana Vistein

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

A Simple Time, a Simple Start

Mom and Dad and the Girls

The Family: The Grandparents

Neighbors and Friends: The Early Years

Our Church and Pastor Hess

School Years

Marriage

The New Guy

Travels

Career Crushed

Angelo Revisited

Changes: The Coming of Old Age

Dedication

Robyn Jill

To my girls, Robyn and Jill

Acknowledgement

Diana would like to acknowledge with great love, her appreciation for the cover design created by her granddaughter, Lilly Forney.

Love you, Lil - Nana

Lilly, 2011

Preface

In days passed, stories of a family were passed on by the elders in the family by word of mouth—the grandmothers and grandfathers and, if lucky enough, great-grandparents. They told stories that gave glimpses of the past, the hardships, like walking miles to school in deep snow. They told of the closeness of those in the family and friends, which shaped the coming generations. Some of the stories were forgotten, and some lived on. They should live on because they give us insight.

Now I am one of the elders in the family. You are all too busy to listen to me (be honest) having all the electronics and such. Nana stories don’t get much attention. Wanting to tell you as much as I can, I have chosen to do that in a book. It started out as a journal, but I realized I had a lot to say. Things that may help one way or another—do this, don’t do this. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did. Maybe just to give you a few chuckles, or as planned, a little insight.

You’ve been my inspiration and the reasons to try harder. This is for you, girls, Robyn and Jill, through whose eyes the world became a little clearer and a whole lot more worthwhile for me. You gave me more joy than you will ever know, though those teen years were brutal! We got through it all stronger than before.

You reflect the strength of the women who represent your heritage. The strength that lies in singleness of purpose, love, honesty, and truth to self; the strength of caring for others especially your children, your families, and all in your world. Reaching out and making the world a better place—do that always; it’s important!

This is written for you to gain a better understanding with whom you were dealing and why you may do some of the things you do. Though the road is not without bumps, it is worth the trip. I want you to understand the events and people who helped shape my decisions and pushed me forward. They were some amazing people.

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it. Our reactions are based on the experiences we’ve had in life. This is the story I will attempt to tell. It appears we all come to crossroads, a time where we must choose which way. It is not always clear, and there are times where we are given a shove toward one way or another. I believe that shove is life experience; maybe we have learned previous lessons, and maybe we have not. One thing that I want to make clear is that when choices were made, it was in the belief that they were the right ones! That I was taking the right path.

There were times when I thought you believed I was a bit lost. I was not really lost, those were times I was just deciding. I like to wander and all who wander are not lost, well, most of the time not lost. Besides, sometimes getting lost helps you find yourself and find the way.

There is something that you both should know, something that was realized as this endeavor progressed. I judged your need for independence and room to grow by mine. Thinking back on this with much more perspective, I might have made a few different decisions. But you handled it well. No words can fully express my love and pride in you both. I hope you feel it. There is nothing in my life that has brought me more happiness than being your mom!

Summer 2018

Insights and Things to Think About

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s next.

—Gilda Radnor

The way I look at life is that it’s all an accident. Everything. We are all along for the ride, no matter the turns.

—Charles Krauthammer

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!

—Andy Rooney

It’s all about the trip, negotiating the potholes and getting to your destination!

—Diana Vistein

Giving old adages or words of wisdom were things that I was going to try to avoid or at least minimize, but they work! They are old adages or important words for a reason, so I’m using ’em!

Introduction

The sounds and smells are so familiar—the surf, the gulls, and the smell of salt air tinged faintly by kelp and decaying sea creatures. Years and distance make it different. Though the feeling of comfort and peace are the same, those smells for some reason are a comfort. The shore, whether in Florida or New England, have always been the places where I head for refuge and to rediscover the direction and focus of my life.

The expanse of sea and sand puts all troubling thoughts into perspective, the sea breezes often changing the set of my sails. As I move through the sand, I am painfully aware that most of my life has past, yet there remain things I had hoped to do and see. I am comforted by what I have done. But the thing that is still out there waiting for me is not the European vacation, learning to oil paint, or to speak a foreign language. It is the compulsion to put my thoughts in a book, to tell a story. So from scraps of paper, Post-its, the backs of envelopes and receipts, which were filled with thoughts and memories, it began to take shape.

This is not a new thought; it has been a desire of mine since the days of diaries and journals. It is time to tell the story; to make sense of all the choices, both good and bad, and to see if there are more pluses than minuses. The intent is not to make excuses but maybe give some explanation and insight into those things that were not as clear to others as they were to me.

The story of a life are the snippets of memories, those things that stand out in the whole panorama of what really happened—those moments, those people who shaped the rest, what is taken and used to form your history. This is the short story of my life, and quite possibly the story will resemble yours. It begins when things were so much simpler. When electronics and technology were yet to exist to the extent they do now, and playing outside in trees and on our bikes was what we did.

We caught tadpoles in the spring and fireflies on summer nights, jumped in the leaves in the fall, built snow forts, and threw snowballs in the winter. We filled hours of our time outside, drinking out of hoses and playing baseball with wooden bats until dark. We sat in trees for hours and played statue; Mother, may I; hide and seek; and Red Rover, then graduating to spin the bottle in junior high.

I remember nights when a warm breeze blew in through screened windows, a calm over the house and the faint noise from the TV behind my closed bedroom door; lying there quietly, feeling safe and satisfied having enjoyed a good summer day outside! No worries. The days of no worries!

Our windows were left open in the summer, and our cars were left unlocked in the driveways with the keys in them. That was our world, our childhood, the world in which we grew up. It was a simple life, a trusting life—one where there was respect and honor, tolerance and patriotism.

It seems as though it all happened so fast that sometimes I feel as though I never really saw all the faces or barely did. I should have paid more attention, but there was always the need in me to move to the next thing, always the next thing, and as time went by, the next place.

I’m retired now. How far away retirement once seemed, and now how far away those simple days are. I don’t sit in trees or jump in leaves now, though it might be a good idea. I just don’t want a broken hip in my future. Now there is caution.

When we are young, we wake up with a whole day ahead of us, with only our imaginations to fill the time—an excitement and sense of urgency to get going, get on with the day. To see what new thing we could find to do or to build or just to play using our imaginations to pave the way.

Now I’ve come around to the same decisions. How my imagination will fill my day, maybe not with the same enthusiasm and age limits the choices, but experience has taught me that there are many new ones.

It is hard to believe all the years that have gone by, but I know they have. I have lived them, and there are pictures! No grand plan in all of them, little plans along the way, and sometimes just getting through. It is not really about the grand scheme of things anyway; it is about the daily little things. Words spoken that lift someone or an act of kindness that changes a person’s day garnishes a smile or maybe, just maybe, changes a lifetime.

Consider that some good deed we may do could change a person’s life. That has happened to me in my life. A look, a word, a hand on my shoulder, or a hand in mine. Knowing that someone cares about what is happening to you makes the difference. A teacher, a college roommate, a colleague, or a friend changes the trajectory or lack thereof. Their contribution makes a difference. This is not unique; it is of what a lifetime is made.

Now there are those little hands, the ones that take your hand and hold your heart! There is a saying, Many people will walk through your life, but only a few will leave footprints on your heart. There are many of those.

When we are young, there is a whole landscape of opportunity and adventure before us. Now there is a lot of looking back at the past, leaning on our memories instead of looking to what is ahead. Ahead may, at times, seem a bit perilous. This is written to examine the past, celebrate it, and use it to move ahead. There is a look at all the love and sacrifices made by those who have given me that love and has made those sacrifices.

There is the realization that we all have a responsibility to give back. It is not even the responsibility; it’s the idea that it is the right thing to do. There is a part of our lives that should be dedicated to carrying on, moving forward, to do our part and provide our support; to make things better, not tear things apart; to lift, not destroy. This then becomes our legacy!

You may find a bit or a lot of having to change in this book. My hope is that you do. Changing should not cause fear. There is also hope that you see the joy in family, the fun in simple things, and the understanding of the gifts of love and laughter. May you rejoice in the changes in your life, the ones that may take you down that one special path. We also should realize that most of our limitations are those which we impose upon ourselves. Think big and be willing to go for it!

Some of what is said here may touch you; some of it may make you laugh; some you will be able to identify with, but the hope is that there will come an understanding that we all face similar challenges, doubts, and search for acceptance and peace.